The Art of Influencing Anyone by Niall Cassidy - HTML preview

The Art of

Influencing

Anyone

Make People Do Whatever You Want

Niall Cassidy

1

Copyright © 2008, 2013 by Niall Cassidy

Reprint Edition

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Email: niallcassidy2013@gmail.com

Blog: niallcassidy.blogspot.com

ISBN: 978-988-12242-2-4

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Table of Content

Part I: Introduction

Chapter 1: A Miracle at Kyle’s

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Part II: Invincible Credibility

Chapter 2: Compelling Arguments

31

Chapter 3: Prophetic Predictions

58

Part III: Impeccable Marketing

Chapter 4: Instant Attention

88

Chapter 5: Covert Advertising

120

Part IV: Immaculate Conditioning

Chapter 6: Rapid Rapport

153

Chapter 7: Burning Desires

185

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Part V: Conclusion

Chapter 8: Mrs. McKinsey Bought

219

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1. A Miracle at Kyle’s

A Miracle in a Start-up Boutique

Mr. Kyle Thomson was a retired fashion designer. In an

attempt to avoid retirement boredom, he started a

small retail fashion shop called Kyle’s Boutique.

However, since it was his first time ever doing business,

he lacked the experience to manage his shop properly,

and thus it had been losing money every month since

its opening.

Needless to say, it was not a very encouraging

result, and Mr. Thomson was extremely disappointed.

However, just when he was about to give it up

altogether, a miracle suddenly happened in the shop.

One day, when Mr. Thomson checked his business

ledger, he was totally surprised. The sales had more

than doubled in just a few weeks. In addition to that, he

even found that some of the most expensive items,

which had never been sold, had disappeared from the

shelf as well.

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Mr. Thomson was very perplexed. What had

happened? Had his shop caught the attention of a very

wealthy customer who liked his clothes a lot? Or had

someone written a very positive recommendation in a

local newspaper column? Or was it the eventual

success of his indefatigable comment-writing about his

shop on various websites and online forums?

Later, he found out that it was none of the above.

There were no particularly rich customers who had

stumbled upon his shop. No magazines or newspapers

had written about it. Nor was it related to all his

anonymous recommendations on the Internet. All these

were caused by an accident of hiring the right person.

Super Salesgirl

Scarlett was a university student who had just started

to work part-time in Mr. Thomson’s boutique. She had

never been employed as a full-time salesperson before,

nor ever participated in any related training courses.

When Mr. Thomson hired her, he thought she was just

another ordinary university girl who wanted to earn

some extra income while studying.

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Despite that, just in the first month of work, she

had already sold much more things than anyone could

imagine. For every 10 transactions completed in the

shop, five or six of them would be contributed by

Scarlett. All the other people working in the shop were

stunned by her performance, and they all saw her as a

godsend for the business.

Of course, Mr. Thomson was delighted by Scarlett,

but at the same time, he was also extremely curious

about how she could achieve that, so he personally

invited her for coffee and a chat in a nearby café. After

they had settled down, Mr. Thomson told her:

“Scarlett, I am extremely grateful for your

contribution to my shop. As an encouragement to keep

up your good work, I will give you a bonus equal to 50

per cent of your salary this month, and I will raise your

salary permanently if you can maintain your amazing

feat.”

“I am very grateful,” said Scarlett, “It is very

important for me because I am from a very poor family.

It will be great if I can afford to live on my own without

spending a quid from my family.”

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“I am glad that I can help,” said Mr. Thomson.

“Naturally, I am very curious how you could achieve

your result. Would you mind telling me more about the

secret of your success?”

“There is no secret at all,” laughed Scarlett, “It is

just that I am able to speak to the customers better

than other people in the shop.”

“And what do you mean by speaking better than

others?” asked Mr. Thomson.

“It means…”

“Scarlett!”

A voice behind them interrupted their

conversation.

A Horrible Customer

When Mr. Thomson looked back and tried to identify

the interrupter, he was surprised to find someone

whom he did not want to see.

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The voice came from Mrs. McKinsey, a hideously

troublesome old widow. She was a very cagey and

stingy customer who always haggled whenever she

wanted to buy something, and always complained

about any imperfection she saw, no matter how trivial

it was. It was such a pain to do business with her that

there were a couple of times when Mr. Thomson was

tempted to tell her not to come back to his shop again.

Despite that, Mr. Thomson had to be polite, so he

greeted Mrs. McKinsey:

“Mrs. McKinsey, good afternoon! It's very fine

weather, isn’t it?”

“Indeed, Mr. Thomson,” said Mrs. McKinsey. “And

how is it going, Scarlett?”

“All going well,” said Scarlett. “Did your daughter

like the black blazer that you bought her last week?”

“Yes, she did!” said Mrs. McKinsey. “Thanks very

much for your suggestions. She liked it a lot!”

“Hold on a minute,” said Mr. Thomson. “Was it that

elegant slimfit jacket in black that went last week?”

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“Exactly that one,” said Scarlett.

Mr. Thomson was perplexed. That jacket was one of

the most expensive items in his shop, but Mrs.

McKinsey only ever went after the cheapest ones. It

was breaking news indeed. Had she mutated into a

completely different person?

After Mrs. McKinsey went away, Mr. Thomson

asked Scarlett:

“How on earth did you manage to get her to buy

that blazer?”

“Well, she was actually very reluctant to buy

anything at first, but having talked to her a few times

before, I was able to understand what she liked most,

and I started working there.”

“How exactly did your conversation go?” asked Mr.

Thomson. He was very eager to know.

Scarlett began to recount exactly what had

happened on that day, and explained how she had got

the old woman to buy the blazer. Mr. Thomson realised

that the way she spoke to the customers was very

different from that of the other people.

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It Is Good, So Do It.

People often feel helpless when they have to persuade

someone to do something. On one hand, we are all

social animals who cannot avoid interaction with other

people. No matter you are a salesman with a target to

meet, a parent trying to teach your kids to behave, or

a manager trying to improve your team’s performance,

you always want others to listen to you. It makes your

life easier.

However, many of us do not find it easy to get

people to listen to us. It is not all that unusual for your

customers to reject you, your kids to disobey you, or

people at work to ignore your ideas. At the same time,

perhaps you find it impossible to understand how a

particular person can manage to become a top

salesman, have kids who always behave, and get the

attention of everyone in the office whenever he has an

idea.

So why can some people become better persuaders

than most others? It certainly does not depend on their

having a higher level of intelligence than the rest of us –

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in fact, it is more often the more “intelligent” people

who have trouble communicating with others, because

they may be prone to believing that others are too

stupid to understand them. Instead, what stands

between the good and bad persuaders is often the right

methods and techniques.

When most people try to persuade others, they

often follow a monotonic formula which is known as:

“It Is Good, So Do It.” For example, when an insurance

agent tries to persuade someone to buy a life insurance

policy from him, he usually says something like this:

“Insurance is not only a protection for yourself, but

also for your loved ones. I once had a client who bought

an insurance policy from me fifteen years ago. His

family consisted of a full-time housewife and three

little children. Five years ago, he was killed in an

accident. If he had not bought insurance, then not only

would his wife have been forced to work again, but his

children could also have been forced out of school.

Luckily, with the indemnity they were able to continue

to live comfortably.”

Basically, the agent is giving evidence that buying

insurance is useful, and his prospect is able to

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understand the logic of what he is trying to illustrate.

However, to the prospect, it is just like watching a

tragic film in a cinema. He will probably think, “I can’t

argue against you, but I have been without any life

insurance for many years, and I am still fine. In addition,

I know that you are telling me this just because you

want to sell me insurance, so I will take it with a pinch

of salt.”

Even if you are not a salesman, you might

encounter a similar situation. For example, when a

father wants his son to study hard, he can tell him:

“Son, it is important to work hard and get good

grades. According to a latest survey by the BBC, those

who do not have a degree are paid at a level close to the

minimum wage. It means that you are going to end up

with a nasty job like your dad if you don’t work hard.”

In the above example, the father points out the

horrible consequences of not studying hard, supported

by the latest statistics – but do you think the son will

listen to him and start to work hard immediately?

Very unlikely that he will, because even though

what the father says is correct, the son will still find

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excuses not to study. At first, he may in some way

appreciate that his father is right. However, after two

or three times, he will find his father very annoying,

and start to rationalise to himself: “There are many

successful people in the world, like Steve Jobs and Bill

Gates, who never got a university degree. Having a

degree does not mean everything.” Later, he may even

think: “Being rich does not mean everything. It is more

important to live happily when I am alive.”

In other words, we all like to convince others by

using logic, but logic alone is hardly enough to change

people. If it were, then there would not be millions of

people smoking every day, despite the proven hazards

of such a habit; or anyone risking his whole fortune on

the gambling table, despite the overwhelming odds

against his winning. Therefore, logical reasons should

never be the first things to pursue when trying to

persuade someone. So, what should you do instead to

persuade people?

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Character over Content

In communication, there is a saying that what you say

is not as important as how you say it. While this is

certainly true, it is worth pointing out that how you say

it is still not as important as who says it. No matter who

you are speaking to, people often place more emphasis

on the identity of the speaker than the content of his

speech.

Here is a simple example. A doodle from a child is

regarded as a piece of cheap rubbish, but a similar

work from Picasso is considered a work of art, which

carries an astronomical price. To the untrained eye, the

two do not look very different, but if people know that

it is painted by a famous artist, then their perception

will change immediately, and they will think: “Oh, if it is

from Picasso, it must be good. If I fail to understand it,

it must be my problem.”

To further illustrate this point, let us revisit a

famous hoax in academia. For those who are not

familiar with this world, researchers often publish their

essays and reports in academic journals in order to

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exchange findings and ideas. However, since there are

so many researchers from different universities and

institutions, a journal cannot possibly publish every

submission received. So how do the editors choose?

In principle, the editors select the most innovative

and insightful papers, but the number of submissions is

so overwhelming that they simply do not have time to

go through every one. So they use a simpler method:

they first look at those by the more famous and

renowned researchers – on the basis that if an author is

well regarded in the field, then his papers are unlikely

to be too bad.

This is where the aforementioned hoax comes in. In

1996, Professor Alan Sokal of New York University

submitted an article to an academic journal, Social Text.

The article was of very poor quality, and, as the author

put it, consisted of “fawning references, grandiose

quotations, and outright nonsense”, and was

“structured around the silliest quotations he could find

about mathematics and physics.”

Nevertheless, Sokal’s article was accepted and

published, proving that even an “intellectually

rigorous” academic journal could be fooled into

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printing an article “liberally salted with nonsense” if

written by someone who worked in a university, and

had a PhD.

Later, this result was replicated in a more formal

experiment by sociologist Robb Willer. University

students were randomly separated into two groups to

study Sokal’s hoax article. The first group was informed

that the author was a famous expert, while the second

group was told that the article had been written by a

student. Consistent with the earlier story, the result

was that the “expert” group made more positive

comments about the article than the “student” group.

All the above results demonstrate that the identity

of the speaker is more important than what he actually

says. If you do not have the respect and trust of your

audience, then no matter how brilliant your speech is,

they will still refuse to believe you. On the other hand,

if you can establish authority in the eyes of your

audience, then no matter how mediocre your speech is,

people will still listen to you. By the way, never

underestimate the power of authority, because – as you

will see in the following experiment – an authority

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figure is capable of influencing people to an extent that

you could never imagine.

Obedience to Authority

The American psychologist Stanley Milgram once

conducted a famous experiment, which demonstrated

that people would obey the instructions of authority

figures even when the instructions conflicted with their

consciences.

The setup of the experiment involved a task in

which, under the instruction of the experimenter, a

volunteer had to train a student to perform a memory

task. Each time the student failed, the volunteer would

deliver an electric shock to him by pressing a button.

Each time the electric shock was administered, the

student expressed discomfort in front of the volunteer.

To make it worse, the voltage of the electric shock

increased after each delivery.

At first, the volunteer seemed reluctant to deliver

the punishment, but each time he refused, the

experimenter simply said one of the following:

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● “Please continue.”

● “The experiment requires that you continue.”

● “It is absolutely essential that you continue.”

● “You have no other choice, you must go on.”

In the original version of the experiment, more than

60 per cent of the volunteers obeyed the experimenter

through to the end, and delivered the final 450-volt

electric shock, despite their seeing how the student

suffered in front of their eyes.

Of course, there were no real electric shocks, and

the “student” was, in fact, an actor, so that there was no

actual harm to anyone in the experiment. Nevertheless,

it shows that most people are very likely to yield to an

authority figure, even if what he recommends does not

seem right to them. To explain this paradoxical

phenomenon, let us consider a kind of insect that we

often see – moths.

It is a well-known phenomenon that moths fly into

fire at night, and end up killing themselves. Why are

those insects so stupid? Can they not feel the heat? The

answer is that moths do it because it is a misfiring of

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their primitive instinct. They have an innate disposition

to be attracted to light, because they use a bright light

source such as the moon for navigation. However, since

they are unable to distinguish between celestial bodies

and fire, they sometimes follow the wrong guide, and it

leads to their untimely demise.

It is similar with human beings. We have an innate

disposition to obey figures of authority. When we are

young, we rely on our parents and teachers to make

decisions for us. When we grow up, we seek advice

from professionals such as lawyers, doctors and

university professors, because they are supposed to

know more than we do in their own professions, and

they are able to teach us what to do when we need

their professional knowledge.

In fact, people usually believe that if an expert tells

them that something is right, it probably will be, even

though it may not seem so. For instance, in the

experiment above, the volunteers followed the

instructions of the experimenter to deliver electric

shocks to the “student”, despite the fact that he looked

very uncomfortable. They probably thought: “Well, the

professor is experienced and knows more than I do. I

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am certain that he would not do something that runs

counter to the proper conduct of a researcher. Since I

am paid to do this anyway, I’d better just follow what

he says.”

All these examples demonstrate that people often

follow the words of authorities with total faith.

Therefore, the first thing that you need to do when you

are aiming to persuade others is not to tell people how

good your ideas are, but to convince them that you are

an expert to whom they should listen. Unfortunately, in

most cases, it is not an easy thing to do. Is there any

way to make other people trust you in a very short

time?

Give Me the Evidence

No one would trust a stranger without a reason, and

therefore, in order to make people believe in you, you

must show them something that will make you sound

more reliable. To demonstrate your credibility, there

are two kinds of proof that you can show them:

“external” and “internal” ones.

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“External” proofs refer to any objective

qualification or brand name that is widely recognised.

For example, if you are a professor of physics at the

University of Cambridge, then you can very easily make

people believe you when you talk about physics,

because Cambridge University is one of the most

famous research centres in the world, and it requires

the highest qualifications to teach there. In other words,

your affiliation is a yardstick of your credibility.

Do not be disappointed if you do not work for a

famous company. For others, your