It doesn’t matter how much you like a woman. If she isn’t responding to your calls, you need to stop calling. You may feel that if you keep trying to contact her, she will eventually get back to you. Maybe you’re hoping that this time, she’ll pick up the phone, or that she’ll be intrigued by your persistence. Unfortunately, this is not how dating works. In this situation, your best move is to be less persistent.
This is how it works. The key is to let her know that you will not be calling her again. If she hasn’t returned your third phone call, leave her a “closing” message. I describe this as the Ultimatum Call (for more on the Ultimatum Call, check out How to Have Sex with Two Women a Day).
Your message could be something like, “I’ve been trying to get in touch with you for the last few weeks, but you haven’t answered my messages. I like hanging out with you, and it would be fun to see you again. But if I don’t hear back from you, I won’t call you again.” Now you’ve put yourself in a win- win situation. If she calls back, then you can see her. If she doesn’t call back, then you can stop wasting your time on her.
The reason you should give a woman three chances is because there might be a reason she didn’t get back to you. It probably has nothing to do with you either. Maybe she’s doing a lot of things in her life and can’t focus; Maybe she really likes you, and is nervous to see you again; Maybe she’s in a bad mood that day; Maybe she’s been feeling insecure; Maybe she’s afraid of getting hurt.
The Ultimatum Call usually helps a woman realize that if she doesn’t get with the program, she might lose a great guy. Suddenly she needs to act— or else be cut off. She’s been warned that she can’t take you for granted. Unless she was really trying to ditch you, you’ll probably hear from her soon enough.
Remember that the Ultimatum Call should be handled carefully. It will not work as an empty threat. You need to be sincere and mean what you’re saying. Once you’ve said that she needs to call you to stay in touch, don’t go back on it. Dating multiple women at one time will help you stay true to your word here. Some women will need to be cut off. If you’re see- ing others though, it won’t be so difficult.
Don’t put a deadline on when she should call you back either. Leave it open ended. Say something like, “If I don’t hear from you after this call, I won’t be calling you anymore.” If you leave it open like this, there is still room for you to play into the situation later. You still aren’t going to call her, but what happens is sometimes out of the blue that girl might call you. It might not be right away but sometimes they call. Don’t just take her back just because you really want to see her though. You have to let her know that you and your time are valuable.
I remember I cut this girl off once, and thought I’d never hear from her again. Next thing I know, she calls me three months later— out of nowhere. She told me that she wanted to see me. I wanted to see her too, but I reminded her of what had happened before. I told her that if she wants to see me, she’ll have to make it up to me. A few days later, she took me out to dinner, paid for the whole thing, and then took me back to her place. So when you leave it open it gives you room to play around if she calls back. If she calls back, tell her she has to make it up to you somehow. Make her work for it.
If a woman isn’t responding to you, don’t waste another call on her. Make sure you are dating multiple women, because I guarantee that some of them will eventually have to be cut off.
If you’ve tried to contact a woman twice and she isn’t getting back to you, it’s time for the Ultimatum Call. Try to keep it open for her to call you back at some point. If she does though, make her work to get your attention back. Don’t waste your time on a woman who isn’t calling you back. Just don’t call her again.