12 A Poignant Greif
At the rehab whatever I saw was the extent of inhumanity. What word should I use to describe the pitying life they were living? Their life was no different than the lives of pigs that live in muds. Yes, they were living a life of animals. There were about hundreds of tents, most of them in bad quality and sometimes wet during rainfalls. About 50 people were filling a tent whose maximum capacity would be around 10-12 people. The place was quite marshy and because of rainfall a lot of mud used to get collected and it was very difficult and dangerous to walk there. At a few distance I could see some naked children playing in the mud, swallowing it, maybe to fill their hungry stomach. I came to learn that until media was active here the government provided them food, always insufficient though, on the name of aid. The food included cooked rice, chapattis, dal, and milk provided three times a day. After few days, the food confined to chapattis and dal and that too provided only once a day in the noon. There were about 1500 people in the rehab center and the food being provided was for about 200 people. Zawahiri told me that they had complained many times about this; and even the food which was being provided was uncooked and of poor quality. But there was no improvement in the quality and quantity of the food. Many time people would argue for the distribution of the food which sometimes led to serious quarrels. Media too stopped coming after few days. Many NGOs came, some of them helped us too but after some time, they too disappeared. Daily people were dying due to insanitary environment. Women were ill and children were being born with diseases.
I stayed there for couple of months in the hope to recover the money. It sounded stupid but I had no other choice. Without the money I could neither go back to Saharabad nor Shailpur. Moreover, I felt useless to report an FIR to police. So, I just stayed there, collected more and more information about those naxallites from the local people. In the process I got opportunity to look deeper into the lives of these poor people. Their poignant grief made me desolate and I could not resist myself helping them. Eventually, sooner or later I got dissolved in the relief works as a volunteer. I believe that was the moment that changed everything later in my life. Aarti had once said if you change life of others people you eventually change your life too. That child in Shailpur would have probably died due to my mistake I thought. Helping these people could be a way to repent. I learnt a lot from that part of my experience. Really a lot because like those people I too had to earn my livelihood there to live and eat. And I happily used to participate in their public meetings, serving dinner and other stuffs. In the process I got to experience the pain they were suffering. Sooner or later, but my heart was melting. Their poignant grief had hit my inner soul. In few days, I was a part of their community and the feeling of ‘togetherness’ was awesome. It served a different kind of peace to my soul.