20. Riot Trauma
At one side where I was helplessly captured inside my house, the other side the terror of outbreak of riot haunted the people. They all knew it could break any day now since elections were close. It was haunting them like any ghost. They all were worried and terrified with the consequences of the riot on their life, occupation, and future. The city observed a close due to growing tension and possibilities of riots. The daily life had been widely affected. Schools, offices, and markets everything soon closed. Some people fled to safer places while some chose to remain closed inside their house for unknown period of time. You could read the fear of death and poignant grief of separation on their face. Poor people, they were really terrified. The small children, their innocence were largely affected. Their immature minds were not ready for such an extent of terror and that too at this delicate age.
“They say that our Gods are different and hence we are different. But I don’t see any difference” said Farhan, a 10 year small child, to his friend at his last day of school before the close.
“My mamma says God is one. He never differentiates in his followers but his followers always differentiate in him. Today is the last day of our school Farhan. We will not be able to meet now until the riots are over and it reopens. I will miss you,” replied his friend Rahul.
Similar scenes could be observed in the world of grown-ups. Perhaps one such scene was in an office, a workplace where people irrespective of religion & community work under the same roof without any differences between them. Same was the case with Yusuf khan who had spent 30 long years in his office. 30 years of love, respect and strong relationship and never a single dispute over any religious issue. But that day was different. He hesitated to talk to his same old friends which torn his emotions and simultaneously one of his friend caught him weeping lonely in a corner of the office.
“Yusuf what happened? asked Arjun, his friend, as people gathered around.
“I know. He is worried about the riots,” replied someone.
“We all are…perhaps,” said another.
“Yusuf look at me. Whatever happens in the riot we don’t have any control over it. But I promise you that this riot or any riot cannot create walls between our friendships. We are team Yusuf and you have been my best friend since I first came into this office 30 years ago. Nothing will change I promise you that” said Arjun to Yusuf.
That was just a glimpse of the tension the people had in their mind. It was a story of every friend, a topic of every gossip. Nobody wanted riot. But at the same time, nobody had courage to step forward and oppose it. And perhaps that’s the basic reason for which even today I believe that if someone has really to be blamed for riots it is non-other than the people themselves who yet have not learnt to live peacefully with each other and are so easily fooled by people like Ahmed Khan.
Nevertheless, I was still in the house tied with the chair lying unconsciously in the room. And during the unconsciousness, I could see shadows of previous riots. Bloods, tears, screams, fire, ultimately my corpse of my mother.
“Maaaa….” I shouted out of fear as Kaka (our family servant) simultaneously sprinkled few drops of water on my face.
“Faizan my dear child eat something. Look at yourself you have become so weak. Don’t you feel hungry son?” asked Kaka to me as he had brought some food for me to eat.
“Kaka, untie me first” I replied.
He looked at me pathetically and said that he could not do so because Maalik Saab had not permitted him to do anything like that.
“Kaka I don’t have enough time for debate. Let me go. A riot can outbreak in the city anytime. The city needs me. I can stop the riot,” I urged to him but he did not move.
“It’s too dangerous out there son. I can’t let you risk your life out there” he replied to me.
“Kaka people will die. There would be a complete havoc in the city. Let me go I can try to stop the riot. I can console the rioters coz I know them. They would listen to me. Why don’t you understand?” I shouted at him harshly but he was not ready to listen anything.
“You can’t do anything about it. Why don’t you understand? It’s not in your hand” he further replied.
“At least let me try. I can’t sit here all day and let people die out there. What has happened to you? Where’s your humanity gone? How can you help Abbu in his lunatic mission?” I shouted at him while he started to sob before me covering his face with his hands.
“I am his servant and have been since you were even not born. I have witnessed him in all his good times and bad times. I have seen him fighting and struggling all his life for even small things in life. He is not a bad man. He is simply frustrated fighting with his life now. I know I am doing wrong but I am loaded with lots of favours by him whenever needed. And today when he seeks my favour how can I break his trust upon me” he replied while sobbing.
“I have seen you obeying namaj to the Allah since childhood. Every day since my birth I have seen you praying for peace and well-being of every being in the world. What about the trust the almighty has upon you? There are people out there some of which are you friends, your acquaintance. What about their trusts? What about your loyalty? Where have you graven your morality and your responsibility in?” I said while he sobbed more and more. “Kaka listen to me. I know what are you thinking but it’s not true. It won’t be counted as betrayal. We all have some responsibility towards each other that we must follow. That’s how a society functions. That’s how the humanity has survived yet. Above all the responsibilities, serving the humanity is amongst the most important. The choice is not difficult and you will know what’s right if you listen to your heart,” I further said while he continued to shed his tears.
The tears he was shedding were the verification that his humanity had not died yet and perhaps he was feeling guilty about it but he was just so confused to decide what was right and what was wrong. My eyes were wet too coz we both knew that this way or that way we are going to lose him (Abbu) forever.