Mal and Loll is the same person; born in a man’s body, but always struggling to accept things as they are. Mal pushes herself to the fore and Loll has to take second place in a life of manic schizophrenia and bizarre circumstances. Mal gets cancer but decides to fight to the bitter end with anybody and anything which stands in the way of her pleasure; trouble is it’s not the end but the beginning.
Scene one: Safe house.
Mal has been on the phone and is waiting for the MIB agents to arrive.
Are you sure these agents are trustworthy, Loll?
Loll: Yes, Mal, I’m sure. This number 25 person is the bad one. (Knock at the door.
Mal opens the door and lets them in.) Agent one sees the bodies of the other MIB agents and is suddenly on guard.
Agent one: What the fuck happened?
Mal: They tried to kill us.
Agent two: This is Ted and Arnie! How the hell did this happen?
Mal: My husband wants to tell you.
Loll: They came to kill us and they would have if we weren’t prepared for them. They were about to get Mal to phone you and get you here when agent two got overly interested in Mal’s backside. That was their downfall. Now you are here I am able to find out certain things, and one thing is that two more agents are in the room two doors down. They will be here in a short while and they intend to kill Mal and me and also you two.
Agent one: What? Are you sure?
Loll: There is a certain boss of yours who wants Mal and I terminated. He is known as number 25. I suppose you know him.
Agent one: This is unbelievable.
Mal: Unbelievable or not, my husband is sure. He is in contact with the other side.
Agent one: You mean the spirit world?
Mal: Yes. Do you know who this 25 person is?
Agent one: Yes, he is a big boss at HQ.
Loll: He is the one who wants this JJ person to escape. He is a friend of the Sinks Syndicate. It is a branch of the Mafia. These other two agents must know that the first two are dead. It is something to do with checking in, I suppose.
Agent one: Yes. (Agent one speaks with his partner) What do you think, Dave?
Agent two: This is big stuff. With a contract out on us we will be lucky to survive till tomorrow.
Loll: They won’t come here. They will wait till you go out. Let me contemplate for a while, I will know more later; don’t worry about this place being bugged. Mal/ Loll lie down to sleep.
Agent one: We can’t use our phones. One of us has to get out and make contact with Link One.
Agent two: I’ll go, I am fitter than you plus I hate to sit around, you know that.
Agent one: OK. Try and get to our own place. You know the one.
Agent two: Yes, but what if Link One has been compromised?
Agent one: It’s a chance we have to take. If you get into trouble go into hiding and lay low as we did in training. Use the emergency bank account which we set up, OK?
Agent two leaves after shaking hands, and checking his gun and ammo.
Mal/ Loll wake up after a few hours.
Mal: Where is agent two?
Agent one: We decided to separate. He will try and contact friendly forces.
Loll: He is dead. Your Link One has been compromised. Why didn’t you wait till I woke up?
Agent one: You can’t be sure.
Loll: His body is already at Zulu Charlie, and his ID card is in the ‘K’ file while his wife Sandy has been informed of his death. They said he died a hero.
Agent one: How do you know all this?
Mal: My husband is in contact with the other side. I already told you.
Agent one: I have to get out. I’ll go crazy here.
Loll: If you will trust us. We will get you out. There are cameras at both ends of the hallway. At 1.20 am the agents in the room two doors down will be sleepy. Mal will shoot out the lights with her silenced weapon. We will then make our way to the rear stairway. The person on duty will be in the toilet for two minutes. We will sneak out by the rear door which is a fire door and alarmed. You know how to disable it, yes?
Agent one: Yes.
Mal: We will wait at the corner for five minutes till the agents in the car are distracted by a girl who accosts them. We will then quickly make our way to the bar on fourth and find a taxi.
Agent one: This seems unbelievable, but I know you are correct. You will be known as the greatest source of crime data in the world if we survive this.
Mal: I don’t want Loll and I to go along that rout. We are better being alone. I’m sure you understand.
Agent one: You could name your own price! Any US crime agency would look after you.
Mal: We don’t know how long these powers of Loll’s will last. Let us just concentrate on getting out of here safely for now.
Loll: I’m being told there is a sniper moving into position across the street. Keep the blinds drawn and the lights out. I am going to rest for a while, Mal. Wake me at midnight.
Mal: OK, Loll. I am seriously concerned about Loll. I have never seen him like this before. He used to be a simple, thoughtful, romantic old fart, but now he’s a serious technical minded man.
Agent one: I hope you don’t mind me talking like this but how long have you been attached to Loll?
Mal: As long as I can remember. He used to protect me as a kid. Some boys would try and have their way with me which I always liked but Loll would fight them. I had to go to the juvenile court a time or two for beating up some kids but I didn’t want Loll to get into trouble, so I said I did it. I was always strong and handy with my fists.
Agent one: I can see that. I also see you have a pair of very nice legs busts and a bottom to be proud of. How did you get such womanly hips?
Mal: I don’t know. I guess I am genetically gifted. I had the operation a long time ago. I was born with man’s genitals as you probably know. Loll knows all about it. He still wants me after all I have been through. I could give you a damn good seeing to, sex wise, but with Loll being near it wouldn’t seem right.
Agent one: Maybe some other time.
Mal: If we get out of this I will jump your bones till you rattle. Come, let us lie down together just for a while.
Agent one: My name is John, you know.
Mal: OK, John, let’s cuddle. Nothing serious, I just want to see if I can still excite a man.
John: Do you think this is appropriate with Loll being near?
Mal: I have to get my pleasure from somewhere. Loll gave it up some years ago, although he is still attractive. I treasure him.
John: Can we leave it till later? I don’t feel good with these other agents lying here.
Mal: I can’t agree. They came here to kill us!
John: Yes, I know, but I know them and their families. I can’t understand how they could be made to agree with this.
Mal: I’m just a simple girl, but I know instinctively when someone is about to hurt me, I’ve had lots of experience of it. Once someone was about to put a knife in my back as he cuddled me, I saw the look in his eyes. I kneed him in the balls took the knife off him and then I broke his jaw. I still have the knife as a memento.
John: You are a one in a million, Mal.
Mal: We are a team, Loll and I. He needs me like a baby needs milk. I think we will rest till Loll wakes up. One thing I need to now, who are the MIB?
John: It is a branch of the secret service. MIB is just a nickname. I can’t tell you anymore.
Mal: Well it will be all over the papers when this is little escapade is over.
John: Not if JJ has anything to do with it. We will be conveniently got rid of.
Mal: Not if Loll has anything to do with it. He will get us safely away; he always was good at looking after me. He has a good mind, unlike me; all I can think about is pleasure. I never will know why he tags along with a loser like me.
John: You have your own expertise and you love him.
Mal: That’s true; I would go through hell for him. Let’s rest awhile, John.
Mal, Loll and John make it safely out to the taxi just like Loll said.
Scene Two: Hotel
Mal: Well, we got here, Loll, another crappy hotel in a crappy neighborhood.
Loll doesn’t speak.
Mal: Loll, are you OK? (No answer).
Mal: My God! Loll has gone. I knew something was wrong when he didn’t react to my poem a while back.
John: You mean when you were in the toilet at the bus station?
Mal: Yes, I told him to wait at the door, he looked confused. I said are you OK and he said he was tired and had a headache.
John: How do you feel, Mal?
Mal: I feel tired, also. I could be heading for another blackout.
John: I better get some help, Mal. Without Loll we are sitting targets.
Mal: Just let me rest awhile. Strip me off, lay me down and give me a good seeing to. Sex always makes me feel better.
John: Are you sure, I mean, what about the situation?
Mal: You are as bad as Loll, John. Relax; if they come we will come too. Joke!
John: OK, but I have to say this could be my worst performance.
Mal: Call it a rehearsal then, and keep the guns ready.
Ten minutes later Mal is about to have an orgasmic episode when Loll screams out…What the hell are you doing, you bastard! I’ll kill you. Mal kicks John out of bed and jumps on him putting her hands around his throat. John needs all his strength to fend Mal off.
John: Mal, Loll, stop!
Loll: I’ll stop when you’re dead.
Mal: Loll, please stop. It was my fault. I wanted him.
Loll: I should have known. I only have to go away for a few minutes and you are screwing around again.
Mal: I’m sorry, Loll. I was confused when you went away. You know I can’t think for myself if you go away.
Loll: What have you got to say, agent bastard?
John: I’m sorry, Loll, I should have stopped myself but Mal is a very hard person to say no to.
Loll/ Mal sit down on the bed and cries.
John: I may as well go, Mal. I’ll take a chance on getting to the safe house that only Dave and I know about.
Loll: I should let you go, but you won’t last an hour. Agent’s foxtrot 5 and Echo 2 are waiting at the safe house in area twelve.
John: What? How the hell did they find out?
Loll: They tortured Dave.
John: Never, Dave wouldn’t break under any pressure.
Loll: He did break. He was given the new drug quantum 15.
John: Bloody shit. That was supposed to be tested on animals first. It wasn’t even going to be ready for testing till next year.
Loll: Dave was screaming in the first minute. I won’t tell you the rest. Can you see why I have to take a break from this shitty world and go inside to rest?
Mal: Oh, Loll, baby, I’m sorry. I would never hurt you, you have to believe that.
Loll: I know, Mal, but I am on the brink of something that could change the world. I am being given details of stuff that I don’t know what to do with.
Mal: I will help you, Loll, and John will help, won’t you, John?
John: This is big stuff. I don’t know what to do, but I know one thing, I’ll kill those bastards that tortured Dave.
Loll: I’m being told that you will only make it worse for yourself if you do that.
John: I don’t care; they won’t get away with it.
Loll: They won’t get away with it; nobody can get away with anything. Everything has to be paid for with Karma.
John: Don’t try to give me that bullshit. I have seen too much pain and suffering in this world to believe that.
Loll: Pain and suffering are part of this world. That is the way it works. You get through it and go onto better lives.
Mal: I can believe that! It is the only reason why I have to take the shitty end of the stick all the time.
John: I have got to get away from here, I’m going crazy.
Mal: No, don’t go yet, you will be killed; wait until Loll has rested and then we will think our way through this.
Loll: I don’t need to rest; I know what we have to do. Mal and I are part of a greater scheme. I am the person who will direct the proceedings; I will stay in the background and be invisible, so to speak. John will accompany us in the destruction of the evil part of the MIB; this bad part is even now plotting to kill the president.
John: What?
Loll: We must destroy this JJ person and his cohorts.
Mal: I am starting to understand something of what you are saying, Loll; I had a dream of a tall man telling me to go to some place on the east side of town to meet someone.
Loll: That was my contact; you are getting in rhythm with me, Mal. We will rest up then have some food and be ready to start at 8.00.
John: Why don’t we just go to the F.B.I.?
Loll: Because the MIB will be there. They have infiltrated all agencies; could you not see where it was leading to when you got rid of Michael Quinn?
John: How the hell do you know about that?
Mal: John, we told you before, can you not get it through your head?
John: Michael Quinn was unknown on any database! He was a made up person; he didn’t exist.
Loll; He didn’t exist in the physical world; but they knew about him on the ‘Inner’. Edgar Whaley was the contact, was he not?
John: This is fantastic! I’m in your hands, Loll; whatever you say I’m in agreement.
Mal: That’s taken care of then. I have just thought of a poem, Loll, write it down, it is called Time to reflect…
Time to reflect
Time goes by so slowly,
Life goes by so fast,
We are just the sand in a desert so vast.
Time is the reaper, we are the corn,
Time is so plentiful when we are born.
When we get old, time is the same
But you and I cannot remain.
When we are grieving
Time is the healer,
When we are sleeping
Time has no meaning,
When we are dying
Time does no crying.
Loll: It is wonderful, Mal, once again you have come up with a beautiful poem to send me to sleep; I will rest awhile and we will be ready to move at eight.
Mal: Loll has gone, John, so you and I can restart our little cuddle, you know I didn’t finish it off properly.
John: I think not, Mal.
Mal: OK lets rest; but I’m here if you want me.
Mal/Loll and John use the payphone to order a taxi and manage to get to the Eastside Car Rentals under the protection of Loll. Loll informs Mal to be more conservative in her dress and pretend to be a married couple with John, while he keeps in the background. John has fake ID to rent the car.
Loll: Drive to the industrial estate off central drive and park next to the ITC warehouse.
John: That’s next door to our HQ.
Loll: I know. We are going to destroy the computers and set fire to the place.
John: What?
Loll: It is the only way to stop the madness that is going to engulf the entire security network.
John: We’ll never get in there! They have cameras all over and electronic surveillance, plus security guards stationed in every room.
Loll: I know, but Mal can get in there.
John: How?
Loll: There is a garbage door that leads down to the basement at the rear. The garbage men will arrive at ten. Mal will simply follow it through the security gates. The inner and outer doors will be open, and Mal will have thirty two seconds to make her way to the computer rooms.
John: This is madness! The guards will shoot her on sight.
Loll: The guards will be changing shifts, and going for break, Mal has thirty two seconds, she won’t mess up. Mal is the only person who could get away with this, apart from me; she knows what to do and she has the tools.
John: What tools?
Loll: Her gun and some petrol in a small washing up bottle plus the lighter.
John: Well, if Mal pulls this off I’ll show my ass in Wal-Mart’s window.
Loll: I’ll hold you to that.
Mal: Loll has briefed me already and I am excited about it. I know I can do it and I trust Loll, he won’t let me down.
John: I feel as though I’m in some strange place and I can’t find my way out. I have been in some tight places in my time but this is surreal.
Mal: Trust Loll, he will protect us.
John: Wait a minute! Even if Mal destroys the computer room surely the data will be stored on other pcs.
Loll: No. The computer in the data room is known as Big D; or Big Dog, it is the only one of its kind, an experimental unit which will pave the way for ‘Super Computers’. It can arrange an event to near perfect judgment, but that judgment is fatally flawed, which is why we have to stop it. If it was left unchecked it could arrange a scenario to destroy the world.
John: This is unbelievable! What can I do?
Loll: You will wait in the car around the corner in Gerrard Drive, at ten twenty eight you will drive around to the side entrance in Broad Street. Make sure you have your watch set correctly; the clock in the car is broke. Mal will exit and you will pick her up and drive away normally up to twelfth street, then you can turn right and head to Westchester.
John: I feel nervous! I never feel like this normally.
Mal: Don’t worry, Loll will protect us.
John: It’s like Loll is some kind of a God.
Loll: I’m no God but I am linked into him. When the fire starts there will be panic; that is where we trick is, Mal can use here expertise to traverse the place.
Mal: It’s nearly time, Loll; can you just give me a little time with John? I want to say goodbye in my own way, you know I need a little cuddle.
Loll: You did it once with him already!
Mal: Yes, but I never finished it.
John: No, I’m too hyped up.
Mal: It will relax you, how about a blow job?
John: For God’s sake go.
Mal (feels bad.) OK, but I want it later.
The Garbage men come, the gate opens and Mal simply follows it into the MIB compound.
Garbage man: What are you doing?
Mal: I’m visiting.
Garbage man: You can’t go there, you will be arrested.
Mal: Relax.
Mal walks through the first security door and simply pushes the inner door to access the inner room. A man and a woman are checking the changeover shift papers when Mal pulls her gun and tells them to get away from the emergency button on the counter.
Mal: Open the door to the hallway!
Guard one: Who are you, and what do you think you’re doing?
Mal: I’m an independent security agent and I’m about to have a look around the installation.
Guard two: You must be mad!
Mal shoots out the camera and smashes the emergency button.
Mal: Open the door, I won’t tell you again.
Guard one: Presses the button to open the inner hallway door.
You will be caught!
Mal: Let me worry about that.
Loll: Mal, make your way to the security room next to the computer room; it is the fifth door on the right.
Mal: I feel like I need a pee, this is exciting stuff, Loll.
Loll: Just concentrate on the job, watch out for a guard who is about to show himself from the corridor on the left!
Mal sees the guard peep around the corner. She gets ready to fire as he jumps out; he shoots wide and the bullet hits the wall on Mal’s right. Mal shoots him in the leg; he crumples on the floor. Mal picks up the gun and puts it in the shoulder bag with the petrol.
Loll: Everything is on lockdown now, Mal, get the petrol and squirt it under the security room’s door and light it and stand back.
Mal does as Loll says and the door opens in a rush and two security guards run out. Mal shoots them in the legs. She puts their guns in her bag and pulls one guard to his feet and puts the gun to his head.
Mal: Have you any family, sweetheart?
Guard: Who the hell are you?
Mal: Just answer the question.
Guard: Yes!
Mal: Do you want to see them again?
Guard: Yes:
Mal: Then get in there and open the computer room.
Guard: I have one key and my buddy has the other.
Mal: Get it and hurry
The guard gets the key and opens the computer room. The sprinklers have started to work and the place is filling with smoke. Three people run out of the room and down the corridor.
Mal: We will have to be quick, Loll.
Loll: Hurry, Mal, get the petrol and put it over the big computer on the right also shoot it to hell. Mal lights the petrol and squirts it all over the room. She shoots the computer full of holes and also the other pcs. The place is full of smoke and Mal moves stealthily out of the room and squirts petrol all down the corridor to the Broad St exit. Fire is following Mal and she shouts in her excitement ‘fire’ as loud as she can. Two more guards are waiting at the exit; one shoots at Mal hitting the wall and door to her left. Mal shoots back hitting the guard in the shoulder. The other guard kneels down to get a better shot and Mal shoots him in the kneecap. Mal tells him to open the door but he refuses. Mal puts the gun to his head while the other guard shouts the security numbers to open the door from the door lock. Mal pushes the numbered keypad and the door opens. Fresh air floods in and the fire starts to rage. Everyone starts to panic. The fire brigade is starting to arrive. Mal coolly walks away up Broad St to the car which is waiting for her fifty yards away. People are now rushing out in confusion.
John: I don’t believe it! You actually did it.
Mal: It was a piece of cake. Loll is the hero.
Loll: Move away slowly, and ignore the three police cars which will be coming down the street in the next few seconds. Mal, get down on the floor. The computer is destroyed, but the people who built it are still around. We will review the situation when we get to Westchester.
John: I’m worried about my family, I’m not married, but my mother may be in danger!
Loll: Don’t worry, they have her under surveillance but they won’t hurt her, they know you won’t contact her although they have her phone tapped.
John: I’m all she has, my brother died from an accident and my sister got killed in a freak storm two years ago! Dave was the only real friend I had; now he is gone.
Mal: You poor baby! You can count on us, we won’t let you down.
Loll: I’m sorry too. The people who killed him are not too far away, they intend to kill agents Murphy13 and Johnson17.
John: What?
Loll: They are getting rid of the people who pose a threat to their organization. That’s why they targeted you and Dave.
John: What are the names of these agents?
Loll: Parker 9 and Symonds 5.
John: They are new! How could they be trained and briefed in such a short time?
Loll: They have been trained before they joined the MIB. These agents are, believe it or not, clones.
John: What?
Loll: They are clones! The new facility at Cold Harbor in New Mexico is a place where the next phase of the operation is about to begin. They will attempt to manufacture androids!
John: This is unbelievable!
Loll: Just let us contact these agents Parker and Symonds; then you will see for yourself how cold and calculating they are. These two are test dummies, so to speak, they have no family and the people who they were cloned from have been gotten rid of!
John: I’m starting to freak out with this! Do you mean that the MIB is going to kill all of its agents and replace them with clones and androids?
Loll: Yes, eventually, and then they will do the same with other government agencies. Now can you see the urgency of it all? We have got to stop these two clones from killing Murphy and Johnson.
John: Just tell me where they are, and what the plan is.
Loll: They are in their car on Sandown Blvd, in Westchester; they will target Murphy first as he exits his house on Pine St at eleven twenty. Let me say here that these two clones are more like androids really; they haven’t got any real memories, it is just information which has been uploaded from the Big Dog computer, also their nerves have been altered, they are the perfect killing machines. The problems will really start when the androids are substituted for clones; androids will be extremely hard to kill. This is why we have to stop this madness now.
John: But how can we both, or, us three, even hope to stop an organization as big as this?
Mal: You underestimate us, John; Loll is the ultimate information machine, or rather, source.
Sorry, Loll.
John: But what if you or Loll gets ill again?
Mal: We will cross that bridge when we come to it. Let us get to Sandown Blvd. I will do the shooting; I will treat it like killing rats.
John: What about letting Murphy and Symonds know about this?
Loll: We could write to them explaining the situation, or email them, we won’t have time to hang around when Mal has finished. I’m getting information that Watson 8 and Dawes 21 have been killed by a bomb placed under their car; they are going to treat it as an act of terrorism.
John: Hell fire. OK, let us get there and finish this off! I’m totally stressed out!
Mal: Relax, John. We will rest up in a short time.
Loll: Mal, I’m sorry, I have to go inside for a while; I’m being told that I may not be able to help you in future, it is something to do with karma; we are interfering with the natural order of things too much, I suppose. I will do my best to get back to you but if I can’t I suppose this is goodbye! You know I will always love you, and I will wait for you however long it will take.
Mal: Loll! No, don’t go, I can’t manage without you! John, help me, Loll has gone!
John: He will be back, I’m sure, Mal, take it easy; he is part of you and cannot be parted from you. Do you want to rest up before we go to Sandown Blvd?
Mal: I don’t know, I am too stressed now.
John: I will get us there, this thing is too big to leave, I am going to avenge Dave and the rest; you can leave the shooting to me, Mal, just rest and try to focus your mind on Loll; he needs your love now.
Mal: Yes, I will try, please be careful, as we are now vulnerable without Loll.
Mal and John make their way to Sandown Blvd; they can already see the agent’s car and park some distance from them.
Mal: They will make their play in the next few minutes, how are we going to do this?
John: I think we should simply drive by and blast them.
Mal: That’s a bit messy; we have to make sure these guys are dead; Loll said they would be hard to kill, yes?
John: How do you want to play this out?
Mal: I feel we have made a mistake! They already know we are here, see they are reversing! Get ready!
The agents make a fast reverse and skid round to drive head on for Mal’s car.
Mal: Quick! Get out and run for the tree on the right!
Mal and John just manage to dive for cover next to the tree when one agent throws two hand grenades into their car. Four second later the car explodes in a ball of fire. Mal and John manage to get their guns out and fire at the agent’s car; Mal fires from the kneeling position and manages to hit agent Parker who is driving; he slumps over the wheel and the car lunges forward at speed into a tree and explodes. Symonds tries to exit holding an Uzi machine pistol as John shoots him in the chest three times. People are now filming the event on their phones; Mal and John make their way to agent Murphy’s house.
To be continued in The Rhyming Schizophrenic Avenger Book Five.
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Colin J Platt.