"The Amish Police Officer" by Joseph D. Smith
There was an Amish Police Officer,
He would only pursue other Amish folk.
When you hear them sing,
"Wee-woo-wee-woo",
You know you're goin' to Amish jail!
And when you seen their lanterns
Flashing red and blue,
You better pull over,
Or you're going southbound into hell!
Sometimes the Amish got their vehicles drunk,
And they were drunk themselves!
Nothing worse than a drunk driver,
And their drunk horse.
Don't mess around
with the Amish Police Officer,
Because he will catch you,
And drag you around.
Ridin' on his buggy, Goin' at 15 M.P.H.,
Tryin' to catch the thief,
Who stole the horses from the Amish Police Officer!
One day he didn't see it comin',
A man in a sports car,
Suspected of murdering an Amish man.
He would pull him over,
But the suspect would speed off,
Then he would stop to let the Officer catch up.
But then he sped off again,
Just to torment the Amish Police Officer!
He would do this over and over again!
Don't mess around with the Amish Police Officer,
Because he will catch you,
And drag you around.
Ridin' on his buggy,
Goin' at 15 M.P.H.,
Tryin' to catch the thief,
Who stole the horses from the Amish Police Officer!