The Drunken Killer and The Drunken Martial Artist
Once upon a dreary night, there was the despair of many a great people, who's only flaws were being drunk. There was a killer of drunk people... Most of these people were honest to good folks, who just wanted to be happy in the comfort of their own homes, and those who wanted to party at their favorite club.
I for one love to get drunk, but when I heard the news of a killer who hated drunks I grew a little weary... I may be a great drunken martial artist, but I know that you never know what's gonna happen. I decided to stay home that one night and I wanted to stay sober, even though I ended up getting drunk. I later knew that night how big of a deal it would turn out to be...
I wanted to go out for a walk, I wasn't shitfaced, just a little drunk, so walking wasn't a challenge. Suddenly I heard a blood hurdling scream! It was the most ungodly thing I've ever heard... It sounded manly like. At this time I was confused, rather than afraid, but still a little paranoid. I ran silently towards the noise, hoping I could be of some assistance, but when I got there it was too late... There was a stalky man with a beer belly who had his guts hanging out, I seen the killer running off swiftly, trying to keep from being seen, so I chased after him! I am a very quick runner, being that I have strong legs I can take bigger power steps.
I was hot on his trail, but then he decided to stop when I was right behind him and he turned around to gut me like he did that poor man! I dodged the object, which happened to be a huge machete! He kept swinging and I kept dodging with the drunken style of martial arts I had learned, for I had to learn it, I am very clumsy even while not drunk. He started to get annoyed, so he dropped the knife, at which point I decided to tackle him right when he let his guard down. I tackled him as hard as I could.
This drama had taken an unnerving twist... He started to have a seizure, his mouth was open, he was swallowing his tongue! I ran away, scared out of my mind that I had killed him.
Later that night I made it home safely, I was out of breath, but luckily my family was out for a car ride and they didn't suspect a thing. I left the serial killer to die…