CHAPTER VIII
BILLY MAKES PLANS TO LEAVE FRANCE
WHILE Button was hanging on to the rope Billy and the dogs came around the hospital to look for him.
“There! I told you Button was the smartest cat you ever heard of, and I bet he would find a way to see Stubby. There he comes now, down that rope from Stubby’s window!” said Billy.
When nearly to the ground Button jumped from the rope and landed at Billy’s feet.
“Hello, Billy and friends! How do you find yourselves? I have just been up to pay Stub a visit, and I accidentally frightened two nurses nearly to death and made them both believe they saw a spook cat instead of a live one.”
“But how am I to see Stubby? That is what I want to know,” asked Billy.
“I am afraid you can’t get into the hospital to see him, Billy. But you will probably have a fine chance to see him to-morrow. I heard the nurse say she was going to take all the convalescent patients out under a tree in the yard if it was a nice day. And as the sun set clear, I think you will have a chance to talk to him to-morrow. If you cannot get near enough to him to chat, at least you can see him.”
“How is his leg getting along?”
“Oh, splendidly! He will be able to use it in a few days. They are taking off the splints to-morrow.”
“That is good news indeed. Now it will be only a short time before we can start once again on our journey home.”
“Our journey home!” exclaimed Button. “Who said Stubby and I were going with you?”
“I did. Or rather I planned taking you both along with me. You don’t suppose I am going without you now I have found you again, do you? Not by a long way!”
“But what if we refuse to go? You can’t carry us, one on each horn, can you?”
“Yes, I could, but I don’t want you to go that way, or against your will. I want you to want to go. And I know perfectly well that I can offer enough inducements to coax you both to go with me.”
“But how about deserting our regiments?”
“You have already deserted yours in following Stubby here,” answered Billy.
“But I had to follow a wounded friend! Besides, they would be delighted to see me back.”
“That is all well enough! But you fellows are coming back home with me just as soon as Stubby is able to travel. And I will tell you why. In the first place you both have had about enough of war to last you all your lives. Again the war will soon be over now the United States army is in the thick of the fight. And again you both have come to the conclusion that there is no country you would care to live in but America, and the United States of America part of it at that.”
“You are right, Billy. I was only teasing you to hear what arguments you would put up. But none of them are the real reason why we would leave the army now and go home. The only thing that would induce us to leave it before the war is over is the same thing that made us join it.”
“And pray may I ask what that is?”
“Yes. It is yourself. We left home to find you. Having found you, we are ready to leave everything and follow you whether you go home or away from home.”
“Bravo! Bravo!” cheered the dogs. “You and Stubby surely are bully friends for a goat to have. We congratulate you, Billy, on having such true and loyal ones.”
“Thanks,” bowed Billy. “Do you know the way to make and keep true, sincere and loyal friends? I’ll tell you. Be one yourself.”
“Hurrah for you, Billy! You will always have the last word.”
“Do you mind telling me a part of your immediate plan and how you propose getting from here to where we are to embark? Or are you thinking of stealing a ride home in an airship?” asked Button.
At this the dogs laughed. The idea of a goat, dog and cat riding in an airship!
“Well, my friends, you need not laugh and think that is impossible, for I already have crossed the American continent from New York City to San Francisco in an airship,” said Billy.
“Will you tell us what you haven’t done, Mr. Billy Whiskers?” asked Pinky.
“I could not; it would take too long. Well, in the first place,” he continued, turning to Button, “I thought unless a better plan offered, I would go straight to Paris and from Paris to the seacoast and get on the first boat sailing for America. I had not decided on any special port to sail from. I just left that to chance, for probably we would have to try many before I could sneak on board. But the hardest part of the trip will be from here to Paris, as we are known by the soldiers around here, and we run the risk of being carried back to the army any minute. If we leave the main highway that leads to Paris, I am afraid we may lose our way and go a long, roundabout route and possibly we might fall into the hands of the Germans.”
“Billy, I’ll tell you what I will do,” spoke up the Red Cross dog. “I’ll leave going back to the army long enough to show you the way to Paris and across that city. You could easily find your way to Paris, but I doubt if you could find your way out. It is a big city, and the roads out are all well guarded now by soldiers who might recognize you, capture you and send you back. I know every step of the way, and we could slip out at night or swim the river Seine where it runs out of the city. After I had accompanied you to within sight of the sea I could come back. I need a vacation and the trip would be one for me.”
“Thank you, my dear Duke,” for that was the name of the Red Cross dog. “I will accept your offer. But I cannot allow you to carry out one part of it, and that part is to leave us and go back into the army. They have plenty of Red Cross dogs and police dogs, too, so they can spare you now. As you have expressed a desire to see America many times, why not continue on with us and visit our fair land?”
“Just the thing!” exclaimed Button. “You may never have such another chance to visit our country in such good company as a goat, dog and cat of world renown—a-hem, a-hem!”
At this they all laughed and Pinky said, “Why, yes; why don’t you go, Duke? I only wish I had the chance.”
“Well, you have!” said Billy. “I extend my invitation to all here.”
“Oh dear! Oh dear! Much as I should love to go, I dislike the hardships of travel too much, and I know I should be seasick. I was when I crossed the Channel once to go with my mistress to visit some friends in London. But I should dearly love to go as far as Paris with you and see the surprised face of my mistress when I came trotting in. You know she sent me here so I would be safe when they began to bombard Paris with those extra long range guns. Besides, she said she had so much Red Cross war work to do that she could not take the time to look after me properly and see that I had my walk in the Boulevard or in the Park every day. And it would be unkind of me to run away to America and leave her when she has been so kind to me.”
“I must go back to my mountains,” said the big St. Bernard, “as soon as I am able and help find the travelers that get lost in the heights and would die of starvation if it was not for me.”
So none of them accepted Billy’s invitation to go except Pinky and even she was going only as far as Paris.
“Listen! I thought I heard the sound of an automobile turning into the lane,” said Button.
“You did,” said the hound. “I just saw the flash of its lamps through the trees.”
Billy and the dogs talked for a while longer, and they were about to say good-night when they heard voices coming in their direction.
“S-s-s-sh-h-h!” said Billy. “I thought I recognized that voice! It is the old General’s chauffeur. Now what can he be wanting here at this time of the evening? I’ll just listen and find out. No, I will get Button to creep up close and listen for his black coat won’t show in the dark like my white one would.”
Button crept through the long grass until he was right near where the chauffeur and the cook stood talking. There being a tree near them, Button ran up it and sat on a limb listening to every word they spoke.
“Well, Jean,” said the cook, “what important business have you on your mind this evening, or have you come to take away some of our convalescent patients?”
“My business is most important, and I have come straight from the General.”
“Hoity-toity! You don’t say so! Whatever can it be about?”
“That blasted old Billy goat that the General sets such stores by.”
“You don’t mean it!” said the cook. “And why are you looking for him here when you took him away with you only two days ago? You don’t mean to tell me that the slippery old rascal has escaped from camp again?”
“No; he did not escape from camp, because we never succeeded in getting him within miles of it. We hadn’t gotten ten miles from here when we broke down and that pesky old goat escaped.”
“Oh, you are fooling! He could not escape one General, three officers and a smart chauffeur like you!”
“Oh, couldn’t he? You don’t know that old goat if you think that. He could escape a whole regiment if he wanted to.”
“And why do you come looking for him here?”
“Because we found him here and as he seemed to be having a pretty good time with the dogs, we thought he might come back.”
“Oh, you did, did you? Well, you reasoned well, for he did come back, and I tried to catch him so I could claim the thousand dollars reward. You see my right arm is in a sling, don’t you? Well, it is all on account of trying to capture that same old goat.”
“You don’t mean to tell me that he really is here? Divide the thousand dollars with me and I will help you catch him again.”
“Never again do I monkey with that goat! I once swore I would not, and nothing would induce me to try it again. Would you like to know what he did to me and how I broke my arm?”
“Yes, I would.”
“Well, it happened in this way. He did come back and I thought I would catch him and claim the reward. One might as well try to catch the devil asleep as to try to catch that goat off his guard. Do you see those steps that lead up onto the hospital porch? And that cherry tree down the lane the other side of those beehives? Well, just imagine me, fat as I am, at the end of a rope, being jerked off the porch where there are no steps, pulled around the yard, down past the beehives, upsetting them, chased and stung by the bees, wrapped around that cherry tree so tight I could not move and then the rope pulled out of my hands so fast it blistered them while the goat ran on, stopped to look around, saw me stuck to the tree, and then he gave a baa, swished his tail and disappeared. I have not seen him since. I hope the bees stung him so he will remember the day as long as he lives, for I know I shall. Why, I could not see out of my eyes for two days, they were swollen so, and my ears looked like a jackass’s, they were so swollen out of shape. No, thank you! You may have all the honor of catching that goat yourself, and the reward that goes with it. I’ll be a goat catcher no more.”
Button could see in his imagination just what Billy did to the fellow, and he laughed so to himself that he nearly fell out of the tree.
“If you would like to hear it, I will tell you how he escaped the five of us,” offered the chauffeur. Then he told the cook what you already know, the recital of which pleased the cook immensely, as misery likes company, and he was glad to know that he was not the only one Billy had gotten the best of.
“I tell you what let’s do,” suggested the chauffeur. “There are two of us against one goat. We will lay a plan and get him. Then we can divide that thousand dollars between us. We won’t try to get him in a hurry, but we will lay a plan that can’t fail.”
“Can’t fail?” laughed the cook. “Any plan would fail with that old goat unless you killed him outright. And we don’t want to do that for the General’s reward is for him alive, not dead.”
Away went Billy, jerking the cook around trees,
over stumps and beehives.
“Well, it is a pity with such a big reward in sight if we can’t get ahead of one old goat! I’ll eat my shirt if I don’t capture him alive within three days after I lay eyes on him.”
“You’ll eat your shirt then, young man, and I will sit by and see you do it if he doesn’t bung up both my eyes so I can’t see out of them before then.”
“Now let’s plan how I shall go about it,” said the chauffeur.
Button waited to hear no more, but ran to tell Billy that they were laying plans to capture him.