PISTOL. And tidings do I bring, and lucky joys,
And happy news of price.
FALSTAFF. I prithee now deliver them like to men of this world.
PISTOL. A foutra for the world, and worldlings base! I speak of Africa, and golden joys. HENRY IV. PART II.
The public room of the Black Bear at Cumnor, to which the scene of our story now returns, boasted, on the evening which we treat of, no ordinary assemblage of guests. There had been a fair in the neighbourhood, and the cutting mercer of Abingdon, with some of the other personages whom the reader has already been made acquainted with, as friends and customers of Giles Gosling, had already formed their wonted circle around the evening fire, and were talking over the news of the day.
A lively, bustling, arch fellow, whose pack, and oaken ellwand studded duly with brass points, denoted him to be of Autolycus's profession, occupied a good deal of the attention, and furnished much of the amusement, of the evening. The pedlars of those days, it must be remembered, were men of far greater importance than the degenerate and degraded hawkers of our modern times. It was by means of these peripatetic venders that the country trade, in the finer manufactures used in female dress particularly, was almost entirely carried on; and if a merchant of this description arrived at the dignity of travelling with a pack-horse, he was a person of no small consequence, and company for the most substantial yeoman or franklin whom he might meet in his wanderings.
The pedlar of whom we speak bore, accordingly, an active and unrebuked share in the merriment to which the rafters of the bonny Black Bear of Cumnor resounded. He had his smile with pretty Mistress Cicely, his broad laugh with mine host, and his jest upon dashing Master Goldthred, who, though indeed without any such benevolent intention on his own part, was the general butt of the evening. The pedlar and he were closely engaged in a dispute upon the preference due to the Spanish nether-stock over the black Gascoigne hose, and mine host had just winked to the guests around him, as who should say, "You will have mirth presently, my masters," when the trampling of horses was heard in the courtyard, and the hostler was loudly summoned, with a few of the newest oaths then in vogue to add force to the invocation. Out tumbled Will Hostler, John Tapster, and all the militia of the inn, who had slunk from their posts in order to collect some scattered crumbs of the mirth which was flying about among the customers. Out into the yard sallied mine host himself also, to do fitting salutation to his new guests; and presently returned, ushering into the apartment his own worthy nephew, Michael Lambourne, pretty tolerably drunk, and having under his escort the astrologer. Alasco, though still a little old man, had, by altering his gown to a ridingdress, trimming his beard and eyebrows, and so forth, struck at least a score of years from his apparent age, and might now seem an active man of sixty, or little upwards. He appeared at present exceedingly anxious, and had insisted much with Lambourne that they should not enter the inn, but go straight forward to the place of their destination. But Lambourne would not be controlled. "By Cancer and Capricorn," he vociferated, "and the whole heavenly host, besides all the stars that these blessed eyes of mine have seen sparkle in the southern heavens, to which these northern blinkers are but farthing candles, I will be unkindly for no one's humour--I will stay and salute my worthy uncle here. Chesu! that good blood should ever be forgotten betwixt friends!--A gallon of your best, uncle, and let it go round to the health of the noble Earl of Leicester! What! shall we not collogue together, and warm the cockles of our ancient kindness?--shall we not collogue, I say?"
"With all my heart, kinsman," said mine host, who obviously wished to be rid of him; "but are you to stand shot to all this good liquor?"This is a question has quelled many a jovial toper, but it moved not the purpose of Lambourne's soul, "Question my means, nuncle?" he said, producing a handful of mixed gold and silver pieces; "question Mexico and Peru--question the Queen's exchequer-God save her Majesty!--she is my good Lord's good mistress."
"Well, kinsman," said mine host, "it is my business to sell wine to those who can buy it-so, Jack Tapster, do me thine office. But I would I knew how to come by money as lightly as thou dost, Mike."
"Why, uncle," said Lambourne, "I will tell thee a secret. Dost see this little old fellow here? as old and withered a chip as ever the devil put into his porridge--and yet, uncle, between you and me--he hath Potosi in that brain of his--'sblood! he can coin ducats faster than I can vent oaths."
"I will have none of his coinage in my purse, though, Michael," said mine host; "I know what belongs to falsifying the Queen's coin.""Thou art an ass, uncle, for as old as thou art.--Pull me not by the skirts, doctor, thou art an ass thyself to boot--so, being both asses, I tell ye I spoke but metaphorically."
"Are you mad?' said the old man; "is the devil in you? Can you not let us begone without drawing all men's eyes on us?"
"Sayest thou?" said Lambourne. "Thou art deceived now--no man shall see you, an I give the word.--By heavens, masters, an any one dare to look on this old gentleman, I will slash the eyes out of his head with my poniard!--So sit down, old friend, and be merry; these are mine ingles--mine ancient inmates, and will betray no man."
"Had you not better withdraw to a private apartment, nephew?" said Giles Gosling. "You speak strange matter," he added, "and there be intelligencers everywhere." "I care not for them," said the magnanimous Michael-- "intelligencers? pshaw! I serve the noble Earl of Leicester. --Here comes the wine.--Fill round, Master Skinker, a carouse to the health of the flower of England, the noble Earl of Leicester! I say, the noble Earl of Leicester! He that does me not reason is a swine of Sussex, and I'll make him kneel to the pledge, if I should cut his hams and smoke them for bacon."
None disputed a pledge given under such formidable penalties; and Michael Lambourne, whose drunken humour was not of course diminished by this new potation, went on in the same wild way, renewing his acquaintance with such of the guests as he had formerly known, and experiencing a reception in which there was now something of deference mingled with a good deal of fear; for the least servitor of the favourite Earl, especially such a man as Lambourne, was, for very sufficient reasons, an object both of the one and of the other.
In the meanwhile, the old man, seeing his guide in this uncontrollable humour, ceased to remonstrate with him, and sitting down in the most obscure corner of the room, called for a small measure of sack, over which he seemed, as it were, to slumber, withdrawing himself as much as possible from general observation, and doing nothing which could recall his existence to the recollection of his fellow-traveller, who by this time had got into close intimacy with his ancient comrade, Goldthred of Abingdon.
"Never believe me, bully Mike," said the mercer, "if I am not as glad to see thee as ever I was to see a customer's money! Why, thou canst give a friend a sly place at a mask or a revel now, Mike; ay, or, I warrant thee, thou canst say in my lord's ear, when my honourable lord is down in these parts, and wants a Spanish ruff or the like--thou canst say in his ear, There is mine old friend, young Lawrence Goldthred of Abingdon, has as good wares, lawn, tiffany, cambric, and so forth--ay, and is as pretty a piece of man's flesh, too, as is in Berkshire, and will ruffle it for your lordship with any man of his inches; and thou mayest say--"
"I can say a hundred d--d lies besides, mercer," answered Lambourne; "what, one must not stand upon a good word for a friend!""Here is to thee, Mike, with all my heart," said the mercer; "and thou canst tell one the reality of the new fashions too. Here was a rogue pedlar but now was crying up the oldfashioned Spanish nether-stock over the Gascoigne hose, although thou seest how well the French hose set off the leg and knee, being adorned with parti-coloured garters and garniture in conformity."
"Excellent, excellent," replied Lambourne; "why, thy limber bit of a thigh, thrust through that bunch of slashed buckram and tiffany, shows like a housewife's distaff when the flax is half spun off!"
"Said I not so?" said the mercer, whose shallow brain was now overflowed in his turn; "where, then, where be this rascal pedlar?--there was a pedlar here but now, methinks.
-Mine host, where the foul fiend is this pedlar?"
"Where wise men should be, Master Goldthred," replied Giles Gosling; "even shut up in his private chamber, telling over the sales of to-day, and preparing for the custom of tomorrow."
"Hang him, a mechanical chuff!" said the mercer; "but for shame, it were a good deed to ease him of his wares--a set of peddling knaves, who stroll through the land, and hurt the established trader. There are good fellows in Berkshire yet, mine host--your pedlar may be met withal on Maiden Castle."
"Ay," replied mine host, laughing, "and he who meets him may meet his match--the pedlar is a tall man.""Is he?" said Goldthred.
"Is he?" replied the host; "ay, by cock and pie is he--the very pedlar he who raddled Robin Hood so tightly, as the song says,--
'Now Robin Hood drew his sword so good, The pedlar drew his brand, And he hath raddled him, Robin Hood, Till he neither could see nor stand.'"
"Hang him, foul scroyle, let him pass," said the mercer; "if he be such a one, there were small worship to be won upon him.--And now tell me, Mike--my honest Mike, how wears the Hollands you won of me?"
"Why, well, as you may see, Master Goldthred," answered Mike; "I will bestow a pot on thee for the handsel.--Fill the flagon, Master Tapster.""Thou wilt win no more Hollands, think, on such wager, friend Mike," said the mercer; "for the sulky swain, Tony Foster, rails at thee all to nought, and swears you shall ne'er darken his doors again, for that your oaths are enough to blow the roof off a Christian man's dwelling."
"Doth he say so, the mincing, hypocritical miser?" vociferated Lambourne. "Why, then, he shall come down and receive my commands here, this blessed night, under my uncle's roof! And I will ring him such a black sanctus, that he shall think the devil hath him by the skirts for a month to come, for barely hearing me."
"Nay, now the pottle-pot is uppermost, with a witness!" said the mercer. "Tony Foster obey thy whistle! Alas! good Mike, go sleep--go sleep.""I tell thee what, thou thin-faced gull," said Michael Lambourne, in high chafe, "I will wager thee fifty angels against the first five shelves of thy shop, numbering upward from the false light, with all that is on them, that I make Tony Foster come down to this public-house before we have finished three rounds."
"I will lay no bet to that amount," said the mercer, something sobered by an offer which intimated rather too private a knowledge on Lambourne's part of the secret recesses of his shop. "I will lay no such wager," he said; "but I will stake five angels against thy five, if thou wilt, that Tony Foster will not leave his own roof, or come to ale-house after prayer time, for thee, or any man."
"Content," said Lambourne.--"Here, uncle, hold stakes, and let one of your young bleedbarrels there--one of your infant tapsters--trip presently up to The Place, and give this letter to Master Foster, and say that I, his ingle, Michael Lambourne, pray to speak with him at mine uncle's castle here, upon business of grave import.--Away with thee, child, for it is now sundown, and the wretch goeth to bed with the birds to save mutton-suet-- faugh!"
Shortly after this messenger was dispatched--an interval which was spent in drinking and buffoonery--he returned with the answer that Master Foster was coming presently."Won, won!" said Lambourne, darting on the stakes.
"Not till he comes, if you please," said the mercer, interfering.
"Why, 'sblood, he is at the threshold," replied Michael.--"What said he, boy?"
"If it please your worship," answered the messenger, "he looked out of window, with a musquetoon in his hand, and when I delivered your errand, which I did with fear and trembling, he said, with a vinegar aspect, that your worship might be gone to the infernal regions."
"Or to hell, I suppose," said Lambourne--"it is there he disposes of all that are not of the congregation.""Even so," said the boy; "I used the other phrase as being the more poetical."
"An ingenious youth," said Michael; "shalt have a drop to whet thy poetical whistle. And what said Foster next?"
"He called me back," answered the boy, "and bid me say you might come to him if you had aught to say to him."
"And what next?" said Lambourne.
"He read the letter, and seemed in a fluster, and asked if your worship was in drink; and I said you were speaking a little Spanish, as one who had been in the Canaries."
"Out, you diminutive pint-pot, whelped of an overgrown reckoning!" replied Lambourne-"out! But what said he then?"
"Why," said the boy, "he muttered that if he came not your worship would bolt out what were better kept in; and so he took his old flat cap, and threadbare blue cloak, and, as I said before, he will be here incontinent."
"There is truth in what he said," replied Lambourne, as if speaking to himself--"my brain has played me its old dog's trick. But corragio--let him approach!--I have not rolled about in the world for many a day to fear Tony Foster, be I drunk or sober.-- Bring me a flagon of cold water to christen my sack withal."
While Lambourne, whom the approach of Foster seemed to have recalled to a sense of his own condition, was busied in preparing to receive him, Giles Gosling stole up to the apartment of the pedlar, whom he found traversing the room in much agitation.
"You withdrew yourself suddenly from the company," said the landlord to the guest."It was time, when the devil became one among you," replied the pedlar.
"It is not courteous in you to term my nephew by such a name," said Gosling, "nor is it kindly in me to reply to it; and yet, in some sort, Mike may be considered as a limb of Satan."
"Pooh--I talk not of the swaggering ruffian," replied the pedlar; "it is of the other, who, for aught I know--But when go they? or wherefore come they?""Marry, these are questions I cannot answer," replied the host. "But look you, sir, you have brought me a token from worthy Master Tressilian--a pretty stone it is." He took out the ring, and looked at it, adding, as he put it into his purse again, that it was too rich a guerdon for anything he could do for the worthy donor. He was, he said, in the public line, and it ill became him to be too inquisitive into other folk's concerns. He had already said that he could hear nothing but that the lady lived still at Cumnor Place in the closest seclusion, and, to such as by chance had a view of her, seemed pensive and discontented with her solitude. "But here," he said, "if you are desirous to gratify your master, is the rarest chance that hath occurred for this many a day. Tony Foster is coming down hither, and it is but letting Mike Lambourne smell another wine-flask, and the Queen's command would not move him from the ale-bench. So they are fast for an hour or so. Now, if you will don your pack, which will be your best excuse, you may, perchance, win the ear of the old servant, being assured of the master's absence, to let you try to get some custom of the lady; and then you may learn more of her condition than I or any other can tell you."
"True--very true," answered Wayland, for he it was; "an excellent device, but methinks something dangerous--for, say Foster should return?""Very possible indeed," replied the host.
"Or say," continued Way]and, "the lady should render me cold thanks for my exertions?" "As is not unlikely," replied Giles Gosling. "I marvel Master Tressilian will take such heed of her that cares not for him."
"In either case I were foully sped," said Wayland, "and therefore I do not, on the whole, much relish your device.""Nay, but take me with you, good master serving-man," replied mine host. "This is your master's business, and not mine:, you best know the risk to be encountered, or how far you are willing to brave it. But that which you will not yourself hazard, you cannot expect others to risk."
"Hold, hold," said Wayland; "tell me but one thing--goes yonder old man up to Cumnor?""Surely, I think so?" said the landlord; "their servant said he was to take their baggage thither. But the ale-tap has been as potent for him as the sack-spigot has been for Michael."
"It is enough," said Wayland, assuming an air of resolution. "I will thwart that old villain's projects; my affright at his baleful aspect begins to abate, and my hatred to arise. Help me on with my pack, good mine host.--And look to thyself, old Albumazar; there is a malignant influence in thy horoscope, and it gleams from the constellation Ursa Major."
So saying, he assumed his burden, and, guided by the landlord through the postern gate of the Black Bear, took the most private way from thence up to Cumnor Place.In his anxiety to obey the Earl's repeated charges of secrecy, as well as from his own unsocial and miserly habits, Anthony Foster was more desirous, by his mode of housekeeping, to escape observation than to resist intrusive curiosity. Thus, instead of a numerous household, to secure his charge, and defend his house, he studied as much as possible to elude notice by diminishing his attendants; so that, unless when there were followers of the Earl, or of Varney, in the mansion, one old male domestic, and two aged crones, who assisted in keeping the Countess's apartments in order, were the only servants of the family.
It was one of these old women who opened the door when Wayland knocked, and answered his petition, to be admitted to exhibit his wares to the ladies of the family, with a volley of vituperation, couched in what is there called the JOWRING dialect. The pedlar found the means of checking this vociferation by slipping a silver groat into her hand, and intimating the present of some stuff for a coif, if the lady would buy of his wares.
"God ield thee, for mine is aw in littocks. Slocket with thy pack into gharn, mon--her walks in gharn." Into the garden she ushered the pedlar accordingly, and pointing to an old, ruinous garden house, said, "Yonder be's her, mon--yonder be's her. Zhe will buy changes an zhe loikes stuffs."
"She has left me to come off as I may," thought Wayland, as he heard the hag shut the garden-door behind him. "But they shall not beat me, and they dare not murder me, for so little trespass, and by this fair twilight. Hang it, I will on--a brave general never thought of his retreat till he was defeated. I see two females in the old garden-house yonder--but how to address them? Stay--Will Shakespeare, be my friend in need. I will give them a taste of Autolycus." He then sung, with a good voice, and becoming audacity, the popular playhouse ditty,--
"Lawn as white as driven snow, Cyprus black as e'er was crow, Gloves as sweet as damask roses, Masks for faces and for noses."
"What hath fortune sent us here for an unwonted sight, Janet?" said the lady."One of those merchants of vanity, called pedlars," answered Janet, demurely, "who utters his light wares in lighter measures. I marvel old Dorcas let him pass." "It is a lucky chance, girl," said the Countess; "we lead a heavy life here, and this may while off a weary hour."
"Ay, my gracious lady," said Janet; "but my father?""He is not my father, Janet, nor I hope my master," answered the lady. "I say, call the man hither--I want some things."
"Nay," replied Janet, "your ladyship has but to say so in the next packet, and if England can furnish them they will be sent. There will come mischief on't--pray, dearest lady, let me bid the man begone!"
"I will have thee bid him come hither," said the Countess;--"or stay, thou terrified fool, I will bid him myself, and spare thee a chiding.""Ah! well-a-day, dearest lady, if that were the worst," said Janet sadly; while the lady called to the pedlar, "Good fellow, step forward--undo thy pack; if thou hast good wares, chance has sent thee hither for my convenience and thy profit."
"What may your ladyship please to lack?" said Wayland, unstrapping his pack, and displaying its contents with as much dexterity as if he had been bred to the trade. Indeed he had occasionally pursued it in the course of his roving life, and now commended his wares with all the volubility of a trader, and showed some skill in the main art of placing prices upon them.
"What do I please to lack?" said the lady, "why, considering I have not for six long months bought one yard of lawn or cambric, or one trinket, the most inconsiderable, for my own use, and at my own choice, the better question is, What hast thou got to sell? Lay aside for me that cambric partlet and pair of sleeves --and those roundells of gold fringe, drawn out with cyprus--and that short cloak of cherry-coloured fine cloth, garnished with gold buttons and loops;--is it not of an absolute fancy, Janet?"
"Nay, my lady," replied Janet, "if you consult my poor judgment, it is, methinks, overgaudy for a graceful habit.""Now, out upon thy judgment, if it be no brighter, wench," said the Countess. "Thou shalt wear it thyself for penance' sake; and I promise thee the gold buttons, being somewhat massive, will comfort thy father, and reconcile him to the cherry-coloured body. See that he snap them not away, Janet, and send them to bear company with the imprisoned angels which he keeps captive in his strong-box."
"May I pray your ladyship to spare my poor father?" said Janet."Nay, but why should any one spare him that is so sparing of his own nature?" replied the lady.--"Well, but to our gear. That head garniture for myself, and that silver bodkin mounted with pearl; and take off two gowns of that russet cloth for Dorcas and Alison, Janet, to keep the old wretches warm against winter comes.--And stay--hast thou no perfumes and sweet bags, or any handsome casting bottles of the newest mode?"
"Were I a pedlar in earnest, I were a made merchant," thought Wayland, as he busied himself to answer the demands which she thronged one on another, with the eagerness of a young lady who has been long secluded from such a pleasing occupation. "But how to bring her to a moment's serious reflection?" Then as he exhibited his choicest collection of essences and perfumes, he at once arrested her attention by observing that these articles had almost risen to double value since the magnificent preparations made by the Earl of Leicester to entertain the Queen and court at his princely Castle of Kenilworth.
"Ha!" said the Countess hastily; "that rumour, then, is true, Janet.""Surely, madam," answered Wayland; "and I marvel it hath not reached your noble ladyship's ears. The Queen of England feasts with the noble Earl for a week during the Summer's Progress; and there are many who will tell you England will have a king, and England's Elizabeth--God save her!--a husband, ere the Progress be over."
"They lie like villains!" said the Countess, bursting forth impatiently."For God's sake, madam, consider," said Janet, trembling with apprehension; "who would cumber themselves about pedlar's tidings?"
"Yes, Janet!" exclaimed the Countess; "right, thou hast corrected me justly. Such reports, blighting the reputation of England's brightest and noblest peer, can only find currency amongst the mean, the abject, and the infamous!"
"May I perish, lady," said Wayland Smith, observing that her violence directed itself towards him, "if I have done anything to merit this strange passion! I have said but what many men say."
By this time the Countess had recovered her composure, and endeavoured, alarmed by the anxious hints of Janet, to suppress all appearance of displeasure. "I were loath," she said, "good fellow, that our Queen should change the virgin style so dear to us her people--think not of it." And then, as if desirous to change the subject, she added, "And what is this paste, so carefully put up in the silver box?" as she examined the contents of a casket in which drugs and perfumes were contained in separate drawers.
"It is a remedy, Madam, for a disorder of which I trust your ladyship will never have reason to complain. The amount of a small turkey-bean, swallowed daily for a week, fortifies the heart against those black vapours which arise from solitude, melancholy, unrequited affection, disappointed hope--"
"Are you a fool, friend?" said the Countess sharply; "or do you think, because I have good-naturedly purchased your trumpery goods at your roguish prices, that you may put any gullery you will on me? Who ever heard that affections of the heart were cured by medicines given to the body?"
"Under your honourable favour," said Wayland, "I am an honest man, and I have sold my goods at an honest price. As to this most precious medicine, when I told its qualities, I asked you not to purchase it, so why should I lie to you? I say not it will cure a rooted affection of the mind, which only God and time can do; but I say that this restorative relieves the black vapours which are engendered in the body of that melancholy which broodeth on the mind. I have relieved many with it, both in court and city, and of late one Master Edmund Tressilian, a worshipful gentleman in Cornwall, who, on some slight received, it was told me, where he had set his affections, was brought into that state of melancholy which made his friends alarmed for his life."
He paused, and the lady remained silent for some time, and then asked, with a voice which she strove in vain to render firm and indifferent in its tone, "Is the gentleman you have mentioned perfectly recovered?"
"Passably, madam," answered Wayland; "he hath at least no bodily complaint.""I will take some of the medicine, Janet," said the Countess. "I too have sometimes that dark melancholy which overclouds the brain."
"You shall not do so, madam," said Janet; "who shall answer that this fellow vends what is wholesome?"
"I will myself warrant my good faith," said Wayland; and taking a part of the medicine, he swallowed it before them. The Countess now bought what remained, a step to which Janet, by further objections, only determined her the more obstinately. She even took the first dose upon the instant, and professed to feel her heart lightened and her spirits augmented--a consequence which, in all probability, existed only in her own imagination. The lady then piled the purchases she had made together, flung her purse to Janet, and desired her to compute the amount, and to pay the pedlar; while she herself, as if tired of the amusement she at first found in conversing with him, wished him good evening, and walked carelessly into the house, thus depriving Wayland of every opportunity to speak with her in private. He hastened, however, to attempt an explanation with Janet.
"Maiden," he said, "thou hast the face of one who should love her mistress. She hath much need of faithful service.""And well deserves it at my hands," replied Janet; "but what of that?"
"Maiden, I am not altogether what I seem," said the pedlar, lowering his voice.
"The less like to be an honest man," said Janet. "The more so," answered Wayland, "since I am no pedlar."
"Get thee gone then instantly, or I will call for assistance," said Janet; "my father must ere this be returned."
"Do not be so rash," said Wayland; "you will do what you may repent of. I am one of your mistress's friends; and she had need of more, not that thou shouldst ruin those she hath."
"How shall I know that?" said Janet."Look me in the face," said Wayland Smith, "and see if thou dost not read honesty in my looks."
And in truth, though by no means handsome, there was in his physiognomy the sharp, keen expression of inventive genius and prompt intellect, which, joined to quick and brilliant eyes, a well-formed mouth, and an intelligent smile, often gives grace and interest to features which are both homely and irregular. Janet looked at him with the sly simplicity of her sect, and replied, "Notwithstanding thy boasted honesty, friend, and although I am not accustomed to read and pass judgment on such volumes as thou hast submitted to my perusal, I think I see in thy countenance something of the pedlarsomething of the picaroon."
"On a small scale, perhaps," said Wayland Smith, laughing. "But this evening, or tomorrow, will an old man come hither with thy father, who has the stealthy step of the cat, the shrewd and vindictive eye of the rat, the fawning wile of the spaniel, the determined snatch of the mastiff--of him beware, for your own sake and that of your distress. See you, fair Janet, he brings the venom of the aspic under the assumed innocence of the dove. What precise mischief he meditates towards you I cannot guess, but death and disease have ever dogged his footsteps. Say nought of this to thy mistress; my art suggest