But I thought…
Eke was stunned. Wait a minute, he thought to himself, that cant
be right. A member of the CIA? Bill? No, no, no. But who cares about
that now. Are they saying that we fought for the wrong side? No, that
can’t be right.
But it was. They werent working to help Honduras. It was the
opposite. They helped destroy a legitimate government. Oh my God!
Could it get any worse? Could it? Could it get any fucking worse? Oh
my God.
Why did we go down there? He wondered. Always, always…
always – good intentions turn bad. And now Bill was dead. And for
what?
For a thrill? Thats why they came down here – for a thrill? No, it
was more than that, right? Or was it? They came to be involved in something bigger than themselves. So now Bills dead. Thats pretty
big. How thrilling.
Shit, thought Eke. Shit! What was he thinking? Was he even
thinking? Going down and getting involved in something he knew
nothing about. Shit! It was now clear, way too clear that he really
knew nothing about what he was doing.
Nothing.
He was never fighting for the good guys. Hed been fighting right
alongside the bad guys. He thought of Maria. Unbelievable. Hed
been deceived. But it was worse than that. Hed been stupid. And
now he stared at a photograph on his mothers wall of his family from
when he was young. That was a long, long time ago– back when
dreams seemed like they could come true.
Just then his mother came in the room and offered him some food
but he hardly heard her. She looked frail. He hardly noticed. He just
stared and said nothing. So she left the room and he just kept staring
at the walls. His heart was pounding, and his mind hurt.
And then suddenly…
Suddenly… Eke had clarity. He knew what he had to do. There was nothing
else left. Nothing. Not a thing. And so…
Yes.
He knew.
Knew, just knew. Yes, he knew all right.
Hed do the right thing. For once in his life – finally - with absolute
clarity, hed do the right thing. And hed do it not because it was about
him. No, this wasnt about him at all. Thats why this decision, this
monumental decision felt right.
His heart pounded and his eyes felt grounded in his head. He had
clarity. He would fly back tomorrow.
