10
Bond of Love
(As You Sow, So Shall You Reap)
Nirmala’s mother Kamla was hospitalized and the doctors had told her that she had only hours to live. Her cancer had seriously entangled her life and she was in a lot of pain and was really suffering. Nirmala was at her bed side lost in thoughts. She had ambivalent emotions about her mother. On one count Nirmala loved her mother very much but for a specific reason she had a dislike for her as well. She knew that the word dislike for any mother was one of the sins of the children and people would be surprised to hear that notion. But what else could she do. She was helpless.
Kamla was Nirmala’s own real and not a step mother and she was now counting her last breath in hospital. All the past words and actions of her mother were dangling in her thoughts like the church bell. The intolerable conduct of her mother was now Nirmala’s ghostly memory which she wanted to forget but it was really hard to let go. She had no choice but to stay there and see the end.
Even today it all seems that it all happened only yesterday. All the events of the past and hurtful memories were fresh in Nirmala’s mind. For some odd and unknown reasons her parents got divorced as soon as she was born. Nirmala had no clear recollection of her father when she was living with her mother. She was experiencing one of the worst deficiencies of life and this was often striking her conscious and making her feel uncomfortable.
A child did not only need good clothes, delicious food, educational toys and a mansion to live because apart from these essentials one other very vital need is the love and affection of the parents and the happy family. Unfortunately and sadly this was not part of Nirmala’s present life but she was determined to move on and make the best of what was dished out to her.
Time moved on and Nirmala remembers the time when people around her were saying that her mother had decided to get married again. In fact they said that she was leading a lonely life and had the responsibility of a daughter to look after. So why not?
Prior to her second marriage Kamla adored her daughter Nirmala. Nirmala’s days began and ended with her mother’s love and care. However, this did not last long after the new husband entered the home. Nirmala began to feel the wind of change in the love and affection of her mother towards her. Nirmals’s step father came with his son Adarsh. Nirmala and Adarsh soon clicked with each other and became the best of friends and as time moved on they realized that they had developed a deep bondage of brotherly and sisterly love. Indeed they resembled the full meaning of their names. Adarsh meant ideal and Nirmal meant serene. Everlasting love and pure relationship between them began to grow with time.
After the marriage of her mother Nirmala had the opportunity to meet Adarsh who came out of his room and sat beside Nirmala who looked sad and lonely all because her mother was no longer spending any time with her. Nirmala’s mother was now spending almost all of her time with her new husband in her room or out on a ride somewhere for pleasure. Nirmala had some fear of being alone in her room at night without her mother by her side. She prayed for some solution to her problem and was happy that this Angel in the name of Adarsh had appeared to assist her.
Adarsh extended his hand and said, “Hi! My name is Adarsh. What is your name?”
“My name is Nirmala. My mother calls me Nim.”
Adarsh had a welcome smile on his face and responded, “Well and good, from today I will also call you Nim, is that OK?”
Nirmala quietly nodded and held the hand of Adarsh lightly so that he could not run away somewhere. Thus the true love of a brother and sister was born.
Adarsh became an eight year old brother and Nirmala turned out to be a sister of five years. However, it is often said and believed that children who are growing in difficult and rigorous situations mature early as a result of these hardships. That is exactly what happened to brother Adarsh and sister Nirmala.
Adarsh first lost his mother early in life and then his father got married thinking that Adarsh will get the love of his new mother. But what a dilemma! What a fate! Now Adarsh had lost the love and blessings of his mother as well as the company of his father who was too attached to his new wife.
Nirmala on the other hand had her mother who was engrossed in her new life. However, Nirmala’s step father was initially expressing a lot of love and care for her maybe to please his new wife. But Adarsh was craving to get the love and affection of his father. Nirmala often noticed sadness and sorrow on the face of her brother and was worried as well.
To make matters worse, Nirmala’s mother was no help for him because she usually displayed her dislike for him by regularly scolding him and dishing out various observational interactions. Adarsh was tolerating less of his mistakes and getting blamed for more of the errors of Nirmala from the step mother.
Despite all these difficulties they loved each other very much and tried their best to keep the melancholy hearts of the step parents far from them. They went to school together, studied at home together, ate and drank together and best of all played and had a lot of fun together. Nirmala did not know when eventually her brother Adarsh took the ideal and respected place of both her father and mother in her life. But she had full confidence in him and loved and relied on him for everything.
Raksha Bandhan is a popular annual festival, usually in August, during which a girl or a woman gives a cotton bracelet or thread (rakhi) to a brother or someone she considers as one, who in turn treats her as a sister. For Nirmala this chaste bond of love was one of the deepest and noblest of human emotions. For Nirmala this was a special occasion to celebrate this emotional bonding by tying a holy thread around the wrist of her new found brother Adarsh. She was indeed proud because this thread was to pulsate with her sisterly love and sublime sentiments. For her it was to mean a bond of protection and she looked forward to this sacred ceremony.
She went to her mother and asked, “Mom is it Raksha Bandhan today?”
When her mother said yes it was, Nirmala said she was looking for her brother Adarsh. This brought firey response from Mrs Kamla Pandey, mother of Nirmala.
She burst out angrily, ”How many times I have told you that there is no brother of your around here. Why don’t you understand that?”
Nirmala tried to justify her relationship,” Mom, when our mother and father are the same then why are Adarsh bhaiya and I are not brothers and sisters?”
Kamla put her off by asking her to go away and let her do her work in peace.
By now Nirmala was a seven year old girl and Adarsh had just turned ten. She collected the tray loaded with the silken thread, some sweets and a lamp or a diya. She started looking for her brother Adarsh who was nowhere to be seen in the house. Disheartened, she went out in the backyard and quietly sat down when she heard the sounds of someone weeping and sobbing nearby. She ran to check and found her brother Adarsh sitting on a bench.
“What is this Bhaiya? Why are you crying? What has happened to you? Has mom said anything to you? Please tell me quickly,” Nirmala put so many questions to Adarsh in her amazement.
Adarsh began talking after wiping his tears,”No, nobody has said anything offensive to me but I miss my own mother very much today. She used to say that she would soon get me a pretty little doll like sister but she went away before that leaving me alone.”
Nirmala could not control her emotions and tried to give some assurance to her brother, “So, am I not looking like your doll sister? Am I not your beloved sister? Assure me bhaiya!”
As soon as Adarsh said, “Yes you are my only sister!” Nirmala commanded him thus, “Then stop your weeping and quickly give me your hand because I want to tie this Rakhi to seal our relationship.”
When the pearly looking tears of Adarsh turned into smile, laughter and joy he did not know but with that holy thread both their instinctual love of a brother and sister was sealed forever.
When so much happiness and love was still penetrating their heart and soul their mother had some other vicious plans. That evening Kamla crossed all the boundaries of her cruelty and announced that Adarsh would be going for his studies and live in a boarding house overseas. Nirmala could not understand what kind of scriptures her mother put before her stepfather to convince him to part from his son and agree to such a cunning ploy to separate a sister from a brother she loved so dearly.
Nirmala and Adarsh pleaded before Kamla and kept begging her to change her plans but that ruthless and stone hearted lady did not listen to them and did not budge at all.
So at last when that day arrived, Nirmala’s twelve year old beloved brother Adarsh was separated from his mother and father as well as his loving foster sister. Adarsh’s father had arranged a school in Brisbane for his boarding and studies. When Adarsh was leaving the Nadi Airport for immigration clearance to depart, his red swollen eyes that had cried for hours were telling everyone that he was very disturbed and saddened to leave his dear ones behind.
Nirmala hugged him and could only say with heavy voice, “Bhaiya come back quickly. I will eagerly wait for you.” Then she started sobbing unstoppably but the pitiless plane snatched her brother and flew away. Nirmala could not stop staring at her mother with dislike and could not understand why she was unable to accept her as her mother anymore.
As soon as they reached home Nirmala’s mother called her own mother to relay the departure of Adarsh and Nirmala heard their phone conversation like a detective. Kamla was saying, “Yes mother, I have got rid of Adarsh. I am happy that he has gone to a boarding school overseas. There would be no more Adarsh and no more problems.”
Nirmala could not believe what she just heard but the more she understood the cruel ploy of her mother the angrier and more disheartened she became. Her mother today had fallen so low in her eyes that she felt the brunt of her step motherly feelings and treatment for Adarsh. Nirmala’s heart and soul began screaming inside and she could not fathom what the objective of her mother to punish them was. Nirmala thought that Adarsh was a child with no mother and was expecting a lot better treatment than this from this step mother.
Nirmala was very disappointed because her mother made a plan to separate them. At least they both were sharing their sadness, joy and hardship by understanding each other. Even if she was obliged, she could not forgive her mother for this cruelty and misdeed.
Nirmala’s step father could not live long with this unwarranted separation of his only son. After his death Kamla was again lonely and distraught. So Nirmala tried her best to persuade her mother to get Adarsh back home but with no success. Nirmala never failed to send a Raksha Bandhan to her brother Adarsh over the years that separated them.
Time and tide do not wait for anyone and the time kept flying fast. Now Nirmala was going to celebrate her eighteenth birthday but there was no rejoicing and celebrating because she badly missed her beloved brother. She was sitting outside in the garden when she heard the sweetest voice that she had not heard for years and her whole body and soul lit up with enthusiasm. Adarsh had returned home and was looking for by calling her, “Nim, where are you?”
This familiar voice was like nectar or honeydew for Nirmala who began to chant, “Adarsh Bhaiya! How are you? It has been a long time! Why didn’t you come earlier? I missed you…but did you miss me?”
“Oh, my doll like dearest sister I missed you a lot that is why I have come on your birthday.”
“..Hm and you have come empty handed.”
“First close your eyes and then I will tell you.”
Nirmala laughed with joy and closed her eyes and began thinking that for her there was no better and more expensive gift in the world than the arrival of her beloved brother on her birthday.
After a few seconds Adarsh said,”Now open your eyes and look at this.”
“What? This is a very expensive mobile phone Bhaiya, an iPod. Where did you get so much money to buy this?”
Entrance of Kamla, Nirmala’s mother had to happen with her own bitter comments, “Yes Adarsh, where have you stolen the money from?”
Adarsh bent down and respectfully touched his step mother’s feet for her blessing but she did not respond normally.
“No, mother no! I would never steal or use funds from thieves to buy an appropriate gift for my only beloved sister. I earned a lot of money while working as a student,” retorted Adarsh.
Kamla was not pleased with the candid response from Adarsh and as usual reprimanded him, “How many times I have said that I am not your mother and Nirmala is not your sister.”
Adarsh had tear in his eyes and felt very sad indeed because his mother was still not able to accept him as her son and did not regard him as the only brother of Nirmala. The internal sorrowful feelings of her brother were deeply felt by Nirmala who could fully comprehend all his emotions. So she hugged him and whispered in his ears not to feel bad about the evil words of Kamla, her mother.
At this moment the home phone rang and Kamla went inside to answer the phone call. After waiting for a few seconds Adarsh and Nirmala followed their mother inside and found her talking with her doctor.
“Yes Doctor, what is in my medical report?”
The doctor must have said something that was serious so Kamla began to assure him to be forthright and reveal all because she was strong and capable of sustaining any calamity.
Kamla kept listening for a while to the details that were being presented by her doctor but Nirmala could see that her countenance was gradually changing. Then she burst out, ”What? Cancer! Doctor this can’t be. Check carefully. Are you reading from the report of Mrs Kamla Pandey?”
The doctor must have assured her that he was relaying the correct message so Kamla left the phone receiver dangling and sat on the floor with a thud. She began to mumble to herself, “This can’t be! This is not true.”
There was a pin-drop silence in the house as if someone had passed away. Nirmala began consoling her mother but when Adarsh said something to comfort her by putting his hand on her shoulder Kamla pushed him away.
Time and tide do not wait for anyone. During the next few weeks time in the Pandey home was flying at the speed of a rocket. Adarsh had to go back to Brisbane to begin his work because he was now a permanent resident of Australia. After all, how long could Adarsh tolerate all these dislikes for him to keep living there and receiving abusive words and cruel treatment from the stepmother he genuinely loved and tried to accept her as his own mother?
Nirmala, on the other hand had very little choice but to feel sorry for her mother who now was given only a few weeks of life. Despite these affectionate and caring feelings Nirmala had a notion that God Almighty was the greatest judge of how some people conducted themselves and acted in real life. Their karma had to be considered for just punishment right here on this earth. There was no hell and heaven anywhere else but on this earth. That was the reason the scriptures have admitted that ‘jaysi karni waysi bharni’ which when translated means ‘as you sow, so shall you reap’.
Nirmala began to provide the best care to her mother with all the love that she could muster in the process. However, when the doctors asked her to go to hospice care Nirmala knew that her time to depart from this world was near. She immediately called Adarsh to convey the message.
Hospice care was an end-of-life care for Kamla. A team of health care professionals and volunteers provided this needed care very meticulously for Kamla who was about to pass away. They gave all kinds of medical, psychological and spiritual support to her. The goal of the care was to help people who were dying so that they can go peacefully with comfort, and dignity they deserved.
When her brother Adarsh arrived, Nirmala used to spend most of her time with him at her mother’s bedside. Today was the day when Adarsh and Nirmala were sitting on the bed occupied by Kamla who was frail and helpless. The doctors and the nurses who were attending to her needs knew that the final time had come for Kamla so they asked the children to be with their mother alone.
It was at this solemn moment that Kamla put both her hands together and looked at Adarsh to genuinely present her repentance and ask for his forgiveness. She also asked him to look after Nirmala. She had tears of repentance rolling down her cheeks like her eyes were a flooded stream. At this moment Adarsh touched her feet and while crying assured her with his usual tender words, “Mom, you do not have to worry about anything. Believe me that it would be my pride and honour to care for, love and look after my beloved sister Nirmala. I will always ensure that she never ever faces any obstacles and hardship in her life. Mom, I have always loved you and I will love you forever.”
Adarsh could not take the sorrow anymore when the doctors declared that Kamla was no more. However, Nirmala stood there next to her mother and began putting her thoughts together for her own consolation. She did not care if her mother was not able to hear her. She knew that her mother never listened to her when she was alive and it did not make any difference to her now. She pressed on regardless.
‘Mom, have you seen? It was not that my brother was a stepbrother but it was your heart and soul that acted so much like a stepmother. Mom, it was indeed odd that you could not believe that the ceremony of Raksha Bandhan had bonded us together with that golden thread to display the love of a brother and sister. Mom, the institution of mother is not for only her who gives birth to her children because a stepmother can be as motherly as a birth mother.” Nirmala waited for a while to collect her thoughts as well as strength to go on and held her mother’s cold hand.
“Mom, I would have been more than happy if you had only granted just a bit of motherly love and compassion of motherhood to my beloved brother Adarsh. It would have given him a different life and you would have felt even better too. My brother Ardarsh had already lost his mother but Mom, you tried to separate him from his father and his sister. This was not fair for all of us. The expression of true love is Godly Mom and no one has the right and audacity to take it away from us. Mom I ask God Almighty to forgive you for all your trespasses. Goodbye Mom, I love you.”
Nirmala felt the viberation of repentance from her mother’s hands and although the eyes were close Kamla could have felt the extent and effects of her torture of the family. But it was all too late now…Just too late.
Adarsh conducted all the final traditional ceremonies for his mother and he was proud that he never had any animosity for her. Nirmala on the other hand could never comprehend discrimination behind the meaning of stepbrother, stepmother or stepfather because for her all relationships she knew she had a sincere brother, once a very loving mother and a sensible father.
Nirmala’s all the concluding questions have remained unanswered.
Why do we see so much of indifference in people?
Why don’t we cultivate and keep watering the garden of love among us?
Why is the human race so much divided and fragmented?
Why?
Why?
Why?
