AN ADJUNCT
The epilogue of the author has to be read in conjunction with the story to complete the episodes with the dignity it deserves.
While I was growing up in a little village of Botini in Sabeto Nadi Fiji I had a very reliable confidante, a faithful friend and a virtuous lover by the name of Radhika who was eight years older than I was and more mature in outlook. We were a lot more than friends and related with each other as teacher and student. She was my guide and adviser on various aspects of growing up and life.
There are many worthy and wise teachings she dished out to me while we were interacting freely as village companions. She told me that life without love was monotonous and brought no appreciation of seasons. I kept in touch with her until recently but sadly she passed away last week at the age of eighty four, eight years my senior. Every time I visited my village I made a point of seeing her and renewing my interaction with her at her home where she lived alone.
She never got married because as she explained to my wife that she was waiting for that special relationship. “One day someone would walk into my life and make me see why it never worked out with anyone else.” That never happened for Radhika and she went away unattached. I know that good relationships do not just happen but they take time, patience and two people who want to be together. We were like the two banks of the river never to rejoice harmonious and lasting relationship. Although we had disjointed relationship I was the greatest beneficiary of this eventful and resourceful adventure. My late wife and I admired and loved Radhika’s company and conversations every time we visited her. I will miss her.
Radhika always wanted me not to be the same but be better every time she saw and met me and I tried to fulfill her wish to make her happy. She loved to listen to my stories of progress in life. She asked me never to wear a fake smile and then you will never be able to fake your feelings. I walk around like everything is fine but deep down I feel for my true friend, my sakhi, my saheli and my early life confidant. May the divine soul of Radhika Rest In Peace and she reaches salvation.
The worst kind of pain for me is when I am smiling just to stop the eyes from revealing my sorrows. While driving to and from Port Dickson with my children I remembered a few more specific things that Radhika told me when I graduated as a teacher in 1959. She found out that I had just terminated a close relationship with one of my college mates and I was somewhat a broken person. Radhika warned me to be careful when trying to fix a broken person because if I did then I may cut myself on the shattered pieces. So she wanted me to change the way I looked at things, then maybe the things I looked at would change as well. A definite change came to my way of thinking and I have never looked back on my terminated relationship ever since.
So after getting the sad news this morning, I did two things as homage to my mentor. I wrote a short story and then I developed a poem in Hindi for Radhika to understand my true feelings while she is Resting in Peace in Heaven. I know that her soul is still here to keep guiding me and providing me with additional wisdom and strength. I was fortunate to have such a pious angel like Radhika to show me the route to a happy family life and a successful living.
Where would I have been had it not been for the initial intervention and dedicated conduct of this goddess? I know not but one thing I can certainly say, “There is no equivalence to this kind of love in any of my scriptures so this was a unique relationship and a very deep attachment.”