— Chapter One —
Ca leant back in the passenger seat, with a contented look of relief on his face. He noticed the speedometer read 120km/hr.
“Slow down” he said to the driver and placed his hand on the drivers shoulder to reassure him. “We are not in any hurry, the hard part is over”
Tuong, the driver, eased off the accelerator and the car slowed to 80km/hr.
“Are you ok Tuong?” enquired Ca,
“Yes, fine” replied Tuong.
He then turned his head toward the rear seat and smiled
“Are you okay?” he said to the angry passenger, who ignored him.
Ca faced forward, relaxed, and closed his eyes as his thoughts drifted back into memories.
Ca was born in 1970 in a small seaside village of Phan Yar, a few kilometres South West of Ky Anh, on the north east coast of Vietnam. Phan Yar is a small bay with clear sapphire blue shallow water. The bay is bordered by rocky outcrops with many shallow rock pools and coral reefs just offshore. The white sandy beach extends onshore to approximately twenty meters and then joined a lush jungle, scattered with coconut trees and shrubs. A small village community dwelt within a large glade, several metres from the beach. This had been Ca’s home.
Ca’s real name was Gio-A Tho, but he’d earned the nickname Ca ‘Vietnamese, meaning fish’ as he’d always in the rock pools as a child and tried unsuccessfully to catch the small spry.
He grew up in a small wooden shack on the village outskirts, close to the ocean. His mother Diudang Tho worked sun drying, salting and curing fish that his father caught, which they would sell on the market.
In 1973, his father Nguyen went away with some of his friends from the village to join the, National front for liberation of South Vietnam Vietcong army and travelled to Cu Chi province to fight the Americans from the underground tunnels.
Young Ca didn’t understand what an American was, or why they were fighting, and he and his elder brother Phaol, took up their father’s roll as fishermen. This was a happy time for Ca and because he was young and small, his brother did most of the work, leaving young Ca to potter around in the rock pools.
As a Vietcong soldiers families received no communication, Ca had almost forgotten about his father, until one day, in 1975, as he played in his favourite rock pool, he heard, loud bangs, cracks and sounds of people cheering emanating from the of the village.
Phaol sloshed his way out of the ocean and went to Ca.
“What’s happening?” enquired a curious Ca.
“I don’t know,” said a nervous Phaol.
An old jeep headed towards them, they recognised the vehicle that belonged to Pu-ed, the market owner and head of the village.
The passengers were also familiar, His mother and a small, fierce looking man
“Dad” yelled Phaol and ran towards the oncoming jeep with little Ca stumbling behind trying to keep up.
Over the following years Vietnam changed. The Northern army had taken Saigon in the South April 1975 thus ending the Vietnam War The Northern armies backed by the communist block were victorious against the South and thanks to President Nixon’s Vietnamizm policy the Americans had scarpered. July 1976 North and South Vietnam were unified and although this was going to be a hard and bloody time for the country, Ca, his family and village escaped unscathed due to its obscure location.
The family went back to a normal routine and young Ca started to understand a little about war, mainly due to his father screaming in his sleep about his dead friends. He had told the brothers about the poisonous centipedes and bloodsucking leaches that roamed around the muddy, dank musty Cu Chi tunnels, and the screams of the wounded men in the underground hospital section. He was not the same man as Phaol remembered. This once peaceful and gentle fisherman now had a cold vacant expression.
The family had been given the land that they lived on, plus a hectare of lush fertile land approx 500 meters away from their seaside home, for the bravery Nguyen Tho had displayed during the war. The new Vietnamese government had very little money, certainly not enough to pay the soldiers, so they gave land instead. This pleased the family and they went about their usual business of fishing, but now tended the land.
One day as Ca, Phaol, and their father splashed the water in order to scare fish into their net, they heard a vehicles’ horn sound several times. They went to the water’s edge and saw several jeeps, many of them full with soldiers in uniform coming towards them. Nearly all the soldiers were known to the Tho family, they were Vietcong soldiers from the last war and Nguyen’s old comrades.
Nguyen went over to the jeeps. An officer, unknown to Nguyen greeted him and they drove the short distance to the Tho’s small wooden house and went inside
Ca and Phaol could see that their mother was still inside and their father closed the door as the two confused boys, arrived at the hut.
“Are you coming with us Phaol?” asked one young soldier.
“Coming where?” enquired Phaol.
“To kick the Khmer rouges arse,” laughed the soldier.
Phaol didn’t understand.
Several moments later their mother, father and the officer emerged, the two young boys walked towards their parents. Nguyen, now attired in his old army beige uniform, got into the front seat of a jeep and looked at his sons.
“Take care of your mother,” he said without any emotion and then stared forward as the jeep pulled away. That was the last time they saw their father.
“Where’s dad going?” asked an inquisitive Ca.
“He has gone to help the Cambodians, who have some nasty people in charge called Khmer Rouge, your father has gone to fight these people and liberate the good Cambodians.” explained his mother as simply and plainly as possible.
“Why?” asked a confused Ca “If Cambodians were fighting Cambodians, why does Dad have to fight.”
His mother looked down at her young son and tears welled up in her eyes as she whispered.
“Because the worlds gone mad, son”
She wiped away her tears, went into the small outdoor kitchen area and shouted “Dinner ready in 10 minutes”
Several months later, a government official and a soldier visited the family home and informed Diudang that her husband was last seen in Neak Loueng a large tropical-forest on the outskirts of Phnom pehn, where much of the fighting had taken place. He explained that Nguyen and his troops were engaged in a bloody battle with the Khmer rouge and, although his troop had been victorious and forced the Khmer Rouge to flee farther into the rainforest. Nguyen had not reported into base and, as many bodies could not found in the dense rain-forest vegetation and, because of a wide fast flowing branch of the Mekong River, which dragged bodies under. Nguyen was therefore, presumed dead.
The year was 1986 and Ca had grown into a small but handsome young man. He still lived with his mother on the beachfront and still fished, but now alone as his brother had gone to work in Ho Chi Min city a few years earlier. They employed two boys from the village to tend their land and crops that now flourished. They had fairly good soil although a little sandy, they grew serrano peppers, luffa beans, aubergines, and other seasonal vegetables.
Vietnam changed considerably and a new reformer government came to power led by 71-year-old Nguyen Van Linh, who became the party's new general secretary. The new government turned Vietnam from a command economy to a socialist-oriented market economy. With the authority of the state remaining unchallenged, private ownership of farms and companies engaged in commodity production, deregulation and foreign investment were encouraged, while the state maintained control over strategic industry. The economy of Vietnam subsequently achieved rapid growth in agricultural and industrial production, construction and housing, exports and foreign investment.
This had been an exciting and liberating time for Ca and the Vietnamese people.
He frequently visited the discos and night scenes in Ky Anh town, and regularly sang along with the local bands. He never had a steady girlfriend and was not particularly interested to have one.
One hot and humid afternoon Ca was sitting on the porch of the families new brick home that had renovated by funds from Phaol sent home from Saigon. He noticed a red Hyundai excel 1.5 driving towards his house. He had not seen many cars, certainly none this new.
The car pulled up in front of the porch and the driver got out and asked him for directions to a plot of land his client had just purchased. Ca looked into the car, where another man was sat in the passenger seat. The first man introduced himself as Go-Lhom, an architect and surveyor. The second man looked more official and had a superior demeanour. This man never spoke as Ca gave directions to the large plot.
The man in the car then thanked Ca and introduced himself.
“Thran Tangh” he said and went on to tell Ca that he lived near Hanoi and worked for the government.
“Looks like we are going to be neighbours young Ca” said Thran and then he and Go-Lhom drove to the plot
Over the next few days bulldozers, builder’s, surveyors and Go-Lhom moved into the area and constructed prefabs for the workers and family turning the site into a small community
Over the next few months a large house started to take shape.
Ca and his mother watched with interest, as did the villagers.
After six months the large brick, modern 5-bedroom house was complete with high external walls and a large drive, gate and swimming pool. The small community of builders slowly started to disperse, much to the annoyance of Pu-ed the market owner, who had done a roaring trade over the past few months.
Furnishings started to arrive and a few days later, the Hyundai arrived, went through the gates and pulled up outside the front door. Three people got out and went inside.
The village heard the newcomers had arrived and decided to throw a party in their honour. Pu-ed delegated himself to go and invite the new arrivals and the village all rallied around to cook meals and supplied the Saigon beer and rượu quốc lủi. Rice and Kans grass: Vietnamese moonshine.
Twilight saw a community centre alive with music and laughter
A stage and small diesel generator had been set up which powered the lights, record player and microphone, Several Vietnamese musicians playing Moon Lutes, Bing Nams, similar to a harmonica and Thungs, bamboo xylophones and everyone was having a great time.
The new family arrived around 7:00 pm accompanied with Pu-ed, who got onto the stage, grabbed the microphone and addressed the community.
“Hello comrades and friends” he spoke
“This is Thran and his lovely wife Nga, and their daughter Hern.” He paused. “Welcome to Phan Yar village,”
The Tangh family bowed and smiled at the crowd and exited the stage. The music started up again and the villagers went back to their dancing, apart from Ca, who couldn’t take his eyes off Hern. He estimated her to be around 14 or 15 years old and she was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen, he noticed she permanently smiled and seemed to be headstrong as, she strode up to the record player, removed the record and replaced it with one that she had taken out of a plastic bag containing several black vinyl records.
The villagers all went silent as the record started to play.
An American pop song started to play. Hern got onto the dance floor and started to dance. Everyone looked and listened and after two minutes joined in, even though they could not understand the words.
Ca went on the dance floor and edged his way towards Hern. He moved closer until he danced in front of her and said.
“Hello, my name is Ca”
Hern looked at Ca and smiled
“Hi Ca, how are you”
“I am fine, well I am more than fine now” he said with an impish smile and continued, “I met your father a few months ago”
“I’m Hern, nice to meet you Ca. I hope we can be friends when I am here,” she said blushing.
Ca awoke early the next day. The evidence of last night’s party was still strewn around the village centre, Ca walked the few kilometres into the centre, which now bustled with villagers, cleaning and setting out their street vending shops. Ca assisted with the cleanup and had started to wash down a piece of muddy pathway when a soft voice behind him said
“Good morning Ca”
Ca swung around to face Hern
“Good morning,” said Ca, noticing how cute Hern looked in the first light of day, she seemed to gleam.
“How are you?” she enquired
“Fine” said Ca “You’re awake early, I thought you city folk slept all day” he chuckled
“Very funny, I have just come to see if I could help to clean, before we leave for Hanoi at noon”
“Leave” gulped Ca “but you’ve only just arrived”
“Don’t worry” said Hern smiling “We will return soon, my father has some work in the city next month, so my mother and I will come here for while” and added, “why, will you miss me ?” she chuckled
Ca smiled and nodded
“Sure” he said, “I need someone to dance with.”
Ca’s mother came out and scolded him by saying that the dirt wouldn’t clean itself, Hern smiled
“See you soon” she whispered and walked away.
The days dragged by for Ca, over the next month, he could not get his mind off Hern, and although the meeting was brief, he knew this was the girl he would one day marry.
One day in late February as Ca set his nets, he noticed a figure walking on the sand towards him. Hern noticed Ca had seen her and waved.
He smiled, anchored his net and walked to the shoreline and, while trying to appear macho, he tripped on a sharp rock and stubbed his toe and yelped. He hobbled ashore and made his way to join a giggling Hern,
“It hurts you know” said an indignant Ca
“Sorry” she said, still giggling
Ca looked at her and smiled
“Never mind, welcome home”
The next few days were like a dreamy haze for Hern and Ca. Hern’s father was in Saigon and her mother kept herself to herself in their large home. They had house cleaners and auxiliary staff but Hern’s mother Nga liked to tend to the gardens herself.
Hern and Ca became inseparable and spent balmy days on the beach. Ca taught her how to fish, although she spent most of the beginning of her lessons belching out seawater, when she tried to go out of her depth. Hern was well educated and attended the High School for Gifted Students, Hanoi. HNUE *
Hern was very intelligent and analytical like her father but enjoyed the new freedom and social scene that teenagers now enjoyed, especially the western music. She taught herself English along with her father, as the state schools never had it on their curriculum, it became a good bonding experience for them both to learn together and Thran was always getting good teaching aids shipped over from all parts of the world. She and Ca used to listen to her records in her house and Hern tried to explain the meaning of her favourite song, the one she played at the party, but Ca just thought it didn’t make sense, no sad story but because Hern liked it, so did he.
Nga noticed the friendship developing but trusted them, they were Vietnamese and no hanky panky allowed until marriage.
Ten days later, Thran returned from Ho Chi Minh and Ca and Hern said a tearful farewell to each other.
Ca watched them leave and saw Hern in the back seat. She must have sensed he had been there as she looked back and smiled.
****
Hern’s father, Thran Tangh, was the deputy minister of public security and an influential communist party member, who had just been elected to join the national assembly of four hundred and ninety three delegates. Both Thran and his brother, Lee, had been Trung Tá, Lieutenant Colonels during the American-South Vietnamese, and Cambodian conflicts. However his brother had decided to remain in Cambodia as a liaison officer and assist with the restructure of this war-torn, ravished land and impoverished, helpless Cambodian people.
The Tangh family became regular visitors to their beachside retreat over the next few years. Ca and Hern had grown extremely close. Hern taught Ca how to read and write Vietnamese and to speak a little English and they spent most of their time together. Hern wanted Ca to move to Hanoi and work but Ca refused, he didn’t want to leave his mother. This exasperated Hern as she knew he could better himself and find a well paying job, but he was a happy fisherman and the only thing he wanted in life was a family, with Hern.
They had fallen in love and both felt that they would marry.
Hern, now nineteen worked in Hanoi with her father in the security department as his Personal assistant and, although well paying job, she loathed it and felt she had wasted her education. The Only thing she looked forward to being with Ca. She couldn’t telephone him, as the village didn’t have any phones.
Her father Thran was kind although strict, he usually let Hern have her own way and, although he never showed emotion, Hern knew her father loved her and beside she had her uncle and his new wife to supply the pampering on his visits over from Cambodia, although these visits had become less frequent as the Cambodian Royal family were due to return from exile and her new aunt had been placed in charge of the reintegration of the royals as a Government liaison.
Ca desperately wanted to marry Hern, who kept asking him to wait, as she didn’t think her father would approve, and although Thran and Ca got on well her father had made it clear on several occasions that Hern would marry someone of the same high status and wealth.
Ca and Hern sat on the beach watching the twilight as they did most evenings when she visited.
Ca took Hern’s hand and said
“We have been together for many years. I want to stay with you forever and to wake up next to you every day for the rest of my life. I will ask your father for his permission, I am sure he likes me”
Hern frowned and looked at Ca
“My father likes you a lot, but I have already told you about the kind of man father wanted me to marry. Wait a few more years I am sure he will mellow when I refuse to marry any suitor that comes along.” She kissed Ca on his cheek “I love you so much, but wait, we are happy aren’t we?”
Ca thought for a moment, nodded and mumbled
“Yes we are happy, okay I’ll wait a while longer”
Although he’d already decided that he had waited long enough and wouldn’t wait any longer. He’d planned to ask Thran and Nga alone ‘The worst they can say is no’ he thought, and they had become like second parents to Ca, he’d always given them the best, largest and freshest fish daily when they visited, so he was sure they would approve, besides he was a landowner, albeit only a smallholding.
Hern and the family intended to leave the following day and Ca thought he would ask that night. The sun went down over the horizon, like a bright red and orange curtain followed by a fiery mauve and then dark royal blue as the night set in.
The couple lit a candle and faced each other, Hern smiled and Ca stroked her face
They walked hand in hand towards the Tangh’s home.
Thran watched from the window as the couple wandered up to the house. Thran knew Ca and Hern were close, but assumed they were like brother and sister, and he trusted Ca like the son they’d never had.
Hern and Ca went into the house and up to her room to listen to records as they usually did until Ca went home around 8.30. However tonight would be different and as Thran was still admiring his new S.U.V. Ca went into the living room and over to Thran.
“What is it Ca, you look like you have the weight on the world on your shoulders?” he asked.
“Thran” said a nervous Ca, “Hern and I are very much in love and I would like your permission to marry her,” he blurted out.
Thran thought for a moment and then asked him where Hern was.
“She’s in her room playing records. She thought I was going home,” said Ca.
Thran changed from a mild happy looking man, to a raging bull. He went to the foot of the stairs
“Hern” he hollered, “Hern come down here, NOW”
Hern came out of her room and looked down on her father and Ca who stood nervously behind him
“What’s the matter?” asked a confused Hern
“Come down here” he bellowed, waking up Nga, who also went downstairs.
They assembled in the living room and Thran shouted at Hern and Ca, firing questions about how long had the affair been going on? How many times had they had sex? Etc, he ranted and raved at the confused and frightened couple. Hern had never seen her father this angry before and she saw a different face of this Jeckel and Hyde, and she didn’t like it. She looked at Ca, who cowered.
‘Why didn’t he listen?’ She thought
The yelling, screaming and denials went on for about twenty minutes with the final sentence from Thran, directed at Hern.
“You know the rules young lady, you do not marry beneath you, and fisher boy here is sole shit. You will not see each other again, do you understand?”
Hern bowed her head
“Yes father” she sobbed
“As for you Ca, if I see you here again the repercussions will be hard and permanent, do you understand?”
Ca looked straight into Thran’s eyes. He knew Thran was rich and powerful, this wasn’t the same man he’d always regarded as his second father that feeling had disappeared thirty minutes ago.
“Yes I understand very well, but I still and always will love Hern,” retorted Ca, defiantly.
“Get out of my house,” Thran ordered and pointed to the door.
Ca left the house full of fear and confusion he’d never expected that reaction,
‘What have I done?’ he thought.
The next morning Ca walked around to the Tangh’s house and hid behind a tree. Twenty minutes later the S.U. V came out and drove past his hidden position. Hern was sat in the rear seat as the vehicle sped away. Hern never looked back.
Thran only wanted the best for his daughter, somebody rich with high status to make her life easy and a poor fisherman with an un-educated upbringing would certainly not be an ideal candidate, now his thoughts turned to damage limitation. Although Hern and Ca both denied having sex it would be hard to find a good husband if the bride wasn’t a virgin, especially in Vietnam. He felt betrayed by Ca and would never forgive him, but for now, he would forget and concentrate on creating the best future for Hern.
Over the next few years the Tangh’s visits got less frequent, Hern hardly ever came, and when she did, she was kept in the house or stayed within the grounds. Although unbeknownst to Thran and Nga she occasionally snook out to meet Ca, but their meetings were brief, anxious and planned like a military operation. Thran threatened Ca at every opportunity,
During one of their secret trysts, Hern told Ca what her father had planned.
She was to go to stay and work in Cambodia. Her uncle had procured her a position in the palace as a maid to Her Majesty Norodom Monineath Sihanouk.
Her father had changed her name to make it not so Vietnamese, so any prospecting husbands would not be able to trace her indiscretions,
Vietnamese, Cambodian and Thai people can change their name by simple deed pole, which is commonplace among the rich younger South East Asians
Although she was rebellious and ostracized her father, Kim could not disobey him. Thran had chosen her new surname and renamed her after his, and the whole countries army hero, the brilliant tactician ‘General Doung Van Mihn’ or ‘Big Mihn’ as he was better known.
She told Ca that she had been allowed to choose her new forename. She had chosen the name of her and Ca’s favourite singer from their special song ‘Kids in America.’
She would now to be known as Kim Doung.
Ca and Hern held onto each other, entwined in a lovers embrace for ten minutes. Hern told him that her family would depart early morning and she would fly to Cambodia the following evening from Hanoi. Her uncle Colonel Lee Tangh would meet her in Phnom Penh
Ca didn’t know what to say or do.
He chuckled nervously
“I still love Hern Tangh, but now I also love Kim Doung”
“And I will always love Gio-a Tho” wept Hern and stroked Ca’s tearful face. She walked away into the darkness with her flashlight. They both knew this could be the last time they saw each other. Hern/Kim never looked back. Many years would pass before Ca would see Hern again. He’d received a few letters from her stating how much she enjoyed her job and how the Royals had been good to her, but she missed him so much, although the letters became more formal as time went on. Ca wrote back several times but didn’t know if she had received his mail, and after several months her letters stopped.
****
The village had grown into a prosperous community and many new wealthy Vietnamese had bought cheap plots of land and had properties built. There seemed to be continuous developments, modernisation and construction work going on.
Ca sold the families Hectar of land to a developer for a tidy profit, and used some of the money to renovate and extended the family home. He had bought several small long tail boats and set up a fishing tour company for the new tourist invasion.
Thran and Nga never visited anymore, which suited Ca, as he now loathed Thran and felt that he had ruined his life, he dreamed of hurting him and became a nasty vindictive man, who could not get Hern out of his thoughts.
It had been many years since Hern had been gone. Ca was in the village, drunk as usual in one of the dingy Karaoke bars. He sang Di Prolap Chim [blood on the hands] a sad Vietnamese love song and one of his favourites. He wobbled unsteadily and then focused on a familiar figure stood by the doorway smiling.
“Hern!” he exclaimed
Hern waved and went over, put her arms around him, replaced the microphone, led him off the stage and walked him out of the karaoke bar.
“Ca, I have not heard from you for a long time and I need to speak to you.” She said with a serious, but sad look on her face.
Ca’s heart raced, and he couldn’t think straight as he tried to fathom out whether he was dreaming or not, they got onto his moped, drove to his house and went into his bedroom.
They sat on Ca’s bed and Herm complimented on how well his house had turned out.
She then held his hand and told him about her time in Phnom Penh and her new life. She had never received his letters, but she paused and said
“Even though we have been apart for many years you have always been in my thoughts and I have always been loyal and had no interest in other men” she paused, sighed and sadly announced
“I am engaged to be married”
Ca felt that his heart had been ripped from his chest, although he half expected it, they had spent what seemed like a lifetime apart, but the bond between them had remained strong and he’d always clung to the hope that they would be together one day and the revelation hit Ca like a sledge hammer..
Hern went on to explain about her fiancé colonel Tighe Nye and how the marriage had been arranged with her parents
“Do you love him?” croaked Ca.
“No, and I never will, he is a horrible old man but very rich and powerful. He went to Ky Anh with my parents to pay a large Dowry, they seem to like him and although father is rich, he thinks that with this man I will be set for life. Father has ordered this and I cannot, or dare not refuse. Tighe can cause Uncle Lee harm in Cambodia and I am afraid”. She sniggered to ease the tension and said, “I am supposed to be shopping, but I had to see you, I still, and always will, only love you.”
Ca, still drunk started to cry.
Hern then stood up and whispered,
“I have something important to give you, something only you could ever take.”
She started to remove her clothing, kissed Ca, and whispered. “My virginity”
That was the first and last time that they would ever make love.
****
It had been several years since Ca had been intimate with Hern and his life had changed. After Hern left he had moped around in and out of bars, getting into fights and ending up in drunken stupors. Eventually, with the assistance and constant support from his mother and brother Phaol, he accepted the loss of Hern and married a young girl from the village.
He concentrated on his boat business which did extremely well and he now owned six boats that he and his old friend, now brother-in-law, Tuong, the local *Vovinam [viet Vo Dao] master/instructor, operated and ran together. Ca was contented with his life, but not happy.
His mother came home one day from the now large modern village centre and showed him a copy of the