Chapter Twenty
I came to again in the ward with some other wounded blokes from different units I looked and saw sat beside my bed a Lieutenant that I didn’t know but he was from my Regiment. He said. “How are you feeling Corporal Lamb?” I looked cautiously at him wondering who he was but I replied. “Non to bad Sir my legs a bit sore and my head hurts but other than that I’m in the pink.” He coughed then said. “Let me introduce myself I’m Lieutenant Howarth of the 2nd Battalion and I need to ask if you are up to answering a few questions if you are I will try not to tire you too much?” I looked at him with the utmost suspicion thinking what is he doing here? But I replied. “If I can help you in any way Sir I will do so fire away.” He changed tack and told me. “First of all let me put your mind at rest all these questions are for is to ascertain whether you saw anyone killed and if you did could you identify them?” He took his hanky out again and blew his nose before he continued. “You see the problem is Corporal that so many men were killed from your Battalion in the first attack and there are so many still missing that we are trying to build up a record of who’s who. So I began by telling him. “I saw Corporal Frank Lord go down right at the start I don’t know if he is dead but Pte Nobby Clarke definitely is, the same goes for Bert Hall, Sam Brown, Fred Hargreaves, Mickey Jones, Dusty Miller, S/Sgt Ted Wallace, Lieutenant Johnny Pearson and Major Melstone.” The Lieutenant shied a bit swallowed and looking up from his notebook said. “Are you sure about Major Melstone?” I thought what a fucking prick so I replied. “Oh yes Sir I’m sure the only thing left of Major Melstone was a few scraps of flesh some pulped bone and blood and a few strips of smouldering uniform which on one piece still had his rank badge.” I took a drink of water as I was so dry but I thought I will teach you as I saw the Lieutenants face turn white as a sheet at this news I continued. “S/Sgt Wallace Sir well I watched him die there was nothing I could do for him he had lost both his legs and an arm blown off by the same shell that had obliterated the Major he S/Sgt Wallace died from loss of blood and severe shock Sir”, the Lieutenant looked as though he was going to be sick.
I was really mad at him now for making me remember all this and I said. “The next ones I saw die Sir were Lt John Pearson, Pte Fred Hargreaves and Pte Mickey Jones and before you ask there were only teeth and gore left of them by the time the howitzer shell had finished with them.” He looked quite ill and I don’t think he was cut out to be a soldier but he stuck to his task as he asked. “Is that everyone you can identify or are there more?” I replied. “There are lots but I don’t know their names apart from Pte Sam Brown who was killed as we got close to home.” Lt Howarth then asked me. “Did you see Colonel Terry or RSM Greaves killed?” I told him. “No I didn’t see them again once they left the German front line trench we had to abandon.” He asked. “So you never came across them in a shell hole or in ‘No Man’s Land’ or anywhere else?” I replied. “No like I say I never saw them again once they went and I didn’t bump into them either.” He stood up and held out his hand which I shook as he said. “Thank you very much L/Cpl Lamb for the information you have supplied I hope you get better quickly goodbye.” He put his notebook away and walked out of the ward without a backward glance but as he was going I had a very bad feeling in my gut that all was not right. I had been in the hospital a few days now and I was rather worried because I had received no mail from Helen and for some reason I was not allowed to send any I thought it might have been because of the battle. There had been no more visitors either and tears ran down my cheeks as I felt frightened and alone. But I think this had more to do with the realization that nearly all my friends were dead than on any self pity on my part. The doctor came to see me and he was very pleased by my progress as he said. “We were a bit worried at first what with your head wound and the thigh one was a bit nasty but it looks good now.” I asked. Why were you worried about the head wound Sir after all it was only a gouge?” He replied. “Well it was because you were found a long way behind the lines with no equipment and you collapsed when questioned.” It was the first I had heard about this and I told him I didn’t remember, he told me not to worry as this could be quite normal with a head wound. He went off quite happy with his diagnosis and his explanation but I was chomping at the bit to find out exactly what had happened the last thing I remembered was pulling the trigger and shooting Stanley.
The next day I was moved into a side room and I thought my god things are looking up the next thing you knew they would be giving me a civic reception. My little nurse Violet came in and I sensed something wasn’t right because I could see such pity in her eyes that it left me dumbfounded for awhile. I could only think that the doctor’s had made a serious mistake about my diagnosis and that I must be dying and Violets face was only making things worse. In fact as she ran out of my room with tears streaking her face I felt like I might expire on the spot. But these feelings were nothing to what I felt a moment later when my door opened and a Provost Major a Captain and Lieutenant Howarth walked into my room. As I looked through the open door I could see a Military Policeman stood on guard and my heart sank lower than my boot straps. Lt Howarth introduced the others saying. “Cpl Lamb this is Major Vine from the Provost’s Office and this is Captain Berryman from Brigade HQ.” I looked at them and I can quite honestly say that I was anxious I wasn’t right sure what they wanted but I knew that it did not bode well for me. Before I could ask anything Major Vine jumped straight in as he said. “Cpl Lamb you are being charged with cowardice in the face of the enemy and deserting your post in time of war you will be summarily Court Marshalled. Well I will tell you something my heart skipped a beat or two and the room swum hazily and for the first time in my life I thought I might faint. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and I knew that in a moment I would wake up from this night mare and everything would be all right. But it wasn’t a dream as I knew when the Brigade Captain said. “You are charged that on the 1st of July 1916 you did flee your post thereby losing a vital position to the enemy and the deaths of undetermined amounts of your comrades. This amounts to cowardice in the face of the enemy and should you be found guilty the sentence of the court will be death, my mouth was open wide in denial but I was at a loss for words. I thought this shower of shit must be joking bloody hell it was me and Ted Wallace that allowed the last of our lot to escape instead of being slaughtered there and when these idiots recognised that I recon I will be owed an apology.
The Captain continued. “The trial date is set for July 15th and Lt Howarth here will be your defence advocate the Court Martial will be held at Divisional HQ Querrieu. The Captain and the Major had finished and stood up to leave but before they did the Major turned and said to me. “There can be no more heinous crime in my book Cpl Lamb than a man who runs from the enemy and leaves his comrades to die.” I tried to protest my innocence and tell them that a mistake had been made but they had left the room before the words formed on my lips. This left me alone with the Lieutenant who I must say did not fill me with confidence so I said to him. “What the fucking hell is going on Sir one minute I’m telling you of the people I saw die and the next these trumped up charges are left at my door is this some kind of fucking joke?” He looked at me very seriously as he replied. “This is not a joke and things don’t look very good for you at the moment in fact they are looking downright bleak.” I thought that’s right fill me with confidence you fucking posh idiot and then I realised that he was my defence council and knew I was doomed and I very nearly laughed out loud. He continued saying. “We are in a bit of a bind to ay the least but before I recount what has gone on and why you are in this situation tell me what happened in the German front line trench that morning. So I told him about the German strafing and the counter attacks he was staging of the fact that no troops came to relieve us and the untenable position we found ourselves in. How Colonel Terry had said we should retreat back to our own lines and how me and Ted Wallace had stayed behind to cover the retreat only making it out ourselves by the skin of our teeth. I led back exhausted and my head thumped from the pain like a blacksmiths anvil being struck. I heard Lt Howarth say. “Listen Corporal this is very important is there anyone you can think of who can corroborate your story I mean anyone at all?” I replied. “Of course there is Sir all you have to do is ask”, he stopped me a moment while he got his notebook out and then smiled a satisfied smile. He then said. “Right Corporal just give me the names in your own time and I will see that this nonsense is put to bed were it belongs.” So I told him. “I’m surprised Sir all you have to do is ask Colonel Terry or RSM Greaves and I’m sure that they will confirm everything that I have told you.”
I looked at him and noticed that he wasn’t writing anything down and the feeling of dread washed over me again as I asked him. “What’s wrong Sir surely they will confirm what happened after all they gave the order?” His face was miserable as he replied. “We cant ask them anything Colonel Terry and the RSM were killed trying to get back to our lines that means you are the only one living who was in that trench and knows what happened.” I thought to myself bloody hell if soldiers as good as Colonel Terry and RSM Greaves had been killed then the Battalion must have ceased to exist to all intents and purposes. There were tears in my eyes now as I thought of all the good friends and comrades I had lost and I thought what a waste what a terrible waste of good men. Lt Howarth continued saying. “Can you think of no one else who heard the order given no one at all?” I wracked my brain but the Colonel and RSM had been my last hope and with them dead and me left alive it was only my word that the Colonel did order us to retreat that made me feel so alone like the last person on earth. The Lieutenant then said. “Of course it wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t have witnesses against you.” So I asked. “What witnesses there are none left I’m the last one alive who was in the trench?” Lieutenant Howarth looked sadly at me saying. “There are stretcher bearers who were out in no man’s land saying you were looking for a L/Cpl Stanley and a Pte Smith and acting strange about it. Their bodies were found later as you staggered away from the shell scrape they were in the prosecution is saying that you shot them because they knew you had left your post.” I told him. “That’s not true Sir those bastards had been robbing the dead robbing our fucking lads Sir I just shot them out of hand as they deserved.” The Lieutenant replied. “Can you prove that they were robbing the dead in fact can you prove anything at all against them because if you can’t then I don’t think we should fetch it up that you shot them.” I looked over at him and knew he was right the possessions they had stolen would be long gone and I couldn’t prove that they had been robbing anyone or that they had shot Bert. In fact the prosecution would probably accuse me of killing Bert saying that he was going to tell that I had run away and I though to myself I’m in deep shit here. At the end of the day Ted Wallace and the rest would have backed me up but he was dead in a hole out front so when it came down to it I had no evidence and no witnesses.
I carried on thinking to myself Rosie had been right in a way Smith had done for me or rather Smith and his mate Stanley if only I could remember what had happened after I had pulled the trigger but I couldn’t. Lt Howarth spoke saying. “Well we must prepare for the Courts Martial and put some kind of defence together but what that is going to be I don’t know yet the thing is at the moment your looking at the death penalty make no mistake about that.” I though to myself don’t be such a cheerful Charlie and I was so mad I could hardly speak as he continued. “I will try to find some witnesses but things look pretty hopeless I will also see if I can get some people to give you a testimonial as to you conduct and what kind of soldier you have been so I had better be on my way as we haven’t long left”, saying this he stood up and left to find his witnesses. Me I whished him well but I could have told him he was wasting his time for when the Colonel and the others died I died as well. I doubted therefore that he would find anyone I was the last man left alive that stormed the German front line trench and most of my character witnesses would be either dead or seriously wounded. When I was a lone my thoughts turned to Helen my love and my heart ached for just one sweet word from her but I had received no letters for s couple of weeks. Now that I was probably facing death here I wrote to her explaining everything that had happened and asked her to pray for me. I told her not to worry and that if the worse should happen not to believe all she heard and to remember that I loved her and only her. I asked her to say nothing to Rosie it could do no good and if my death came then to tell her I had been killed in battle. I finished it off asking god to watch over her and telling her she would always be in my thoughts till we met again. I went back to thinking there where it had all gone wrong I suppose it is what people call fate, well I say fuck fate I needed someone to help me out of this mess and then it came to me CSM Domby he would help me after all we were like family I hadn’t seen him since the first day but I knew in my bones that he would not have been killed. I cheered up quite a bit after this as I knew that if anyone could see away through this mess it would be him and no mistake.
Lieutenant Howarth came back to see me the next day and I told him to go and see the CSM and that he would find away to get me out of the shit. His face took on the look of a constipated bloodhound and he stuttered. “I’m afraid that wont be possible CSM Domby was seriously injured on the first day and has been shipped back home the doctors are not even sure that he will make it.” I remembered the old adage ‘kick a man when he’s down’, well not only had I been kicked but bloody trampled on with pit-boots. Of course I felt sorry for Bill Domby he had been a father figure to me and was part of the only family I had left so I hoped he would get better and survive. The Lieutenant continued saying. “So I’m very much afraid Corporal that the CSM is out of the question and he can give you no help whatsoever. My heart sank into my boots and inside I was heartily sick of everything that had happened apart from that is killing Stanley and Smith. He went on and said. “Well there is one thing you are lucky to have someone representing you at the trial it is only because Colonel Jack Harmon made a thorough bloody nuisance of himself at Division that I was assigned to you.” I thought to myself is this bloke a fucking idiot or what he considers it lucky to have him when I m facing a capital charge with no witnesses to stand up for me. Not only this there was every chance the court would find me guilty and I would be stood against a wall and shot. I would certainly not like to see what he called unlucky and with a clown like him defending me I could feel the bullets striking home already. “He turned saying well I better be off and se if I can find any more witnesses, oh by the way did I tell you that I found two character witnesses S/Sgt George Drew and Sgt Tommy Macey.” My heart soared just too know that at least two of my friends were alive and well and were willing to bat for me and show me they cared.
Lt Howarth started to leave and then turned round saying. “Try not to let all this get you down too much hopefully I can find someone else who can help”, and with this parting comment he left. I laughed out loud was this bloke a bloody Looney I mean try not to fucking worry I would have liked to see him stay cheerful in the same position. Mind you nothing could dampen my spirit just knowing that Gorge and Tommy were alive was a tonic in itself and I knew that they would fight tooth and nail to clear my name and have me freed. The following morning Lt Howarth and Major Vine came to my room to tell me that my Court Martial had been scheduled for 10:00hrs the next morning. The Major then told me what would happen and explained the procedure before he got up and left saying he would see us tomorrow then there were just the two of us I said. “Is it possible to see either George Drew or Tommy Macey before tomorrow Sir?” He replied. “No I’m sorry Corporal the Provost would never allow it them being witnesses and all.” This was another set back for me and I would have liked to see the lads for a chat but I wasn’t going to let the news get me down. He turned to me saying. “I will try to fix up a visit after the trial if it is necessary which I’m hoping it won’t be”, he left after saying this leaving me alone to wonder yet again what had gone wrong. I slept in fits and starts but it wasn’t just the nightmares which had returned it was berating myself and I was so mad I could have killed someone there and then. Finally Violet the nurse came in and gave me my medication she told me a fresh uniform had been laid out on the chair for me and that she would help me get dressed when the time came. I thanked her and a short time later I had my breakfast then Violet came and helped me dress. I was now ready and two Military Policemen pushed me in a wheel chair to a waiting ambulance outside that would take me to Division HQ which was a t Querrieu which was also the HQ for the 4th Army. All the brass would be there so we would be in good company mind you a bet there was a flap on now. I had heard that the offensive was not going well at all the attacks had started again but our lads were still getting nowhere.
I was wheeled into Divisional HQ and we waited outside a room that had been given over for Courts Martial as we arrived I saw another chap going in then ten minutes later he was back out ashen faced having been tries and sentences to death. I thought fucking hell this lot aren’t hanging about much and I didn’t fancy my chances if all you were getting was ten minutes. Lt Howarth was white faced himself and I thought I think he just realises that this was a life and death situation. Then my turn came and I tried to tighten up the old sphincter muscles but I don’t think it worked. The two Military Policemen wheeled me into the room and I could see a Colonel and two Majors sat behind a table looking at us as we came in I noticed Major Vine off to one side and Captain Berryman was leafing through some papers. The Colonel cleared his throat and everything in the room went quite and I must admit that he looked a crusty old bugger to say the least. Captain Berryman spoke saying. “The next case Sir is brought against L/Cpl Lamb W. he is charged with deserting his post in time of war and cowardice in the face of the enemy.” The Colonel looked at me with a glare and asked. “Hoe do you plead to the charges brought against you?” Before I could answer Lt Howarth replied. “He pleads not guilty Sir on both counts”, the Lieutenant looked quite pleased with himself. The Colonel was not impressed though and asked. “Who the bloody hell are you Lieutenant and what are you doing at these proceedings?” Lt Howarth looked quite taken aback as he answered the question. “I am Lt Howarth Sir and I am representing the accused it has been cleared by Division.” The Colonel laughed like a hyena and spoke to the two Majors then He said. “Very well you may stay for now but try not to interrupt” and he nodded at Captain Berryman to continue he said. “The accused is charged with leaving his assigned post on the afternoon of July 1st 1916 and allowing the enemy to recapture a front line trench that had been taken at great cost of life that morning.” The Captain paused for affect before he went on. “This caused a number of his comrades to be killed but not content by the travesty he then saved his own skin and ran leaving his comrades to fight on this Sir is cowardice in the face of the enemy and must be punished by the correct sentence which is death.” The Colonel looked at me again but I wasn’t bothered anymore I could sense that for me the game was up just by looking at the Officers at the table.
Captain Berryman took out his hanky and mopped his brow before he continued saying. “There are some witness statements in front of you Sir from different witnesses. The three Officers skimmed through the statements and I could see their eyebrows lifting. He went on. “The accused has no one to verify his story that that he was covering the other troops so they could retreat. If he was how come only he survived then while the men he claimed to have so heroically covered all died?” The Colonel said. “He was found behind our lines quite away from the front and was injured what about that Captain?” The prosecutor replied. “You have seen from the statements Sir that he was acting suspiciously in ‘No Man’s Land’ we submit that he was wounded when looking for these other two men Pte Smith and L/Cpl Stanley. We think that they may have known something about his desertion and that he was trying to silence them whatever happened they are dead Sir and Corporal Lamb is still alive.” Lt Howarth now jumped in risking the courts wrath. “Sir there is evidence that these two men were killed by bullets from a German rifle and not one of our calibres.” The Colonel replied. “Yes, yes Lt Howarth but that has nothing to do with it he is not charged with killing anyone now is he?” Captain Berryman continued saying. “Sir it is our contention that L/Cpl Lamb ran from the enemy and that when he was skulking around the front he picked up a couple of injuries and tried to get out of the fighting by getting as far way from the front line as possible that is the prosecutions case Sir.” The Colonel replied. “Looking at the evidence it seems like an open and shut case to me and I don’t see any reason to prolong the verdict”, he looked to his two Majors who nodded their agreement. Then he said. “Oh yes just one minute have you anything to say in mitigation Corporal Lamb?” Again before I could answer Lt Howarth leapt in saying. “Sir may I just say that Corporal Lamb here joined up under age and that he is still under age being only seventeen and that he was also made up in rank for bravery in the field.”
He went to go on but the Colonel stopped him as he said. “That will be all Lt Howarth do you know how many more cases we have to get through today, well you probably don’t but it’s a hell of a lot and we must keep things rolling smoothly along. The Lieutenant wasn’t cowed by this as he replied. “I have a couple of witnesses Sir who can”, he was cut off in mid sentence by the Colonel who said. “Witnesses well why didn’t you say something if they were there when this took place then they can throw some light on the whole affair who are these men?” Lt Howarth replied. “S/Sgt Drew and Sgt Macey Sir I can call them now Sir they are right outside.” The Colonel stopped him as he asked. “Just give me a quick timescale of their evidence for instance where they in the trench and did they hear the orders being given?” Lt Howarth was quite red in the face as he replied. “You misunderstood me Sir these are character witnesses I’m afraid they were no where near Corporal Lamb or what happened.” The Colonel’s face turned puce in colour and a vein started throbbing at his temple and then his voice hissed out. “Are you making fun of this court Lieutenant or are you just a drivelling idiot?” Lt Howarth tried to answer but the Colonel shouted. “I don’t give a tinkers cuss about your character witnesses time is pushing on so sit down and be quite.” He turned to the two Majors saying. “Right gentlemen shall we consider our verdict in this case?” They didn’t even leave the room just looked through some of the papers again had a couple of words together and that was it all cut and dried. The Colonel looking sombre said. “L/Cpl Lamb you have been found guilty on all charges and are here by sentenced to death. Said sentence shall be carried out by firing squad on the 20th of July 1916 subject to confirmation by the Commander in Chief and may god have mercy on you. He told the Military Policemen to take me out but I wasn’t really listening anymore as the shoved me towards the door in my wheelchair I noticed the Lieutenants face and it was both distraught and mortified. I looked at my watch noting that it had taken exactly fifteen minutes to end my life and brand me a coward.
I could hear the Colonel shouting for the next case and glaring at poor Lt Howarth I was not taken back to the convent but to a small Château that was the Divisional Staffs residence. It was situated in the small village of Saint-Marianne-Angléy just the other side of Querrieu and this is where I would spend my last precious moment of time. I was put into a kind of storeroom come cell it was quite comfy really a large room with a table chairs and bed in it. My leg was getting better and I could now walk if with a bit of a limp I took off my tunic and lowered myself onto the bed thinking I’m really in the shit this time. I really don’t think the seriousness and absolute finality of the situation had sunken in yet I must still have been in a case of shock. I looked around the whitewashed room it had bars on the window but no glass in the frames but still that would keep things nice and cool. I shook my head and then the tears started how could I have ended up in a situation like this I had only ever done my duty and look where that had left me. I was sat in my cell writing my last letters and trying to put a brave face on things but it was hard but at least I had settled with Smith and Stanley and that gave me great satisfaction. I wrote a letter to Rosie and to Bill Domby explaining what had gone on telling them it was not my fault and asking them to believe in me. I saved my last letter for my beloved Helen I would give that to Lt Howarth along with my locket cigarette case and ring he would give these to George Drew to take home and give to her. I was leaning on the windowsill looking out through the bars at the garden bathed in the morning sunlight the smell of summer flowers was really quite pleasant. Then I saw a striking woman with grey hair in a kind of chignon come along leaning on a silver topped cane she stopped close by and I looked taking in her hair which was a lovely silver colour and not grey and her neck and head had more than an aristocratic look to them. Her eyes were the most striking shade of violet and she was quite tall for a woman and very upright and regal in her poise.
The guard outside my cell said. “Come on you old trout get along with you there is no stopping around here come on Imshee, Imshee”, and he shooed at her with his hands. She gave him a look that would have stripped paint and then in perfect English she said. “Who do you think you are talking to I am the Countess de Angély and I own this Château I shall report your behaviour to your superiors be sure of that.” The guards face had gone bright red and I could see the sense of doom enter his eyes I nearly laughed out loud as he walked away from us with his tail between his legs. The countess came over to the window and asked me. “I hope that you are as comfortable as you can be?” I replied. “Thank you Mam but I don’t think that I will be here long enough for it to bother me.” I saw the light of concern in her eyes that at most times showed an aloofness that was astounding then she continued saying. “I have heard what your fellow countrymen are going to do to you and I think it is a disgrace as well as a sin against god. You are so young ‘mes infant’ what can be gained by shooting you?” I shrugged my shoulders and thought you countess know sod all about the military or you would know they are a law to themselves. I smiled at her and I was grateful for her concern and just to have someone to talk to then I asked her how the offensive was going? She shook her head and replied. “It is terrible all that slaughter and for what a few yards of ground all you young Englishmen dying here and all the young men from my country dying at Verdun”, she could not go on and I saw tears in her eyes. The sentry looked as though he might come over and say something, but one glare from the countess and he shrugged his shoulders and went back to his post. I didn’t blame him a bit for she was a very forbidding woman but I could sense underneath that she was also warm and caring. I will tell you something else as well when she was young she must have been absolutely stunning and you could still see the underlying beauty still. We chatted on about this and that for a while longer and I found her to be one of the easiest people that I had ever talked to. She took my mind off my present predicament and for that I can tell you I was very grateful and pretty soon we had told each other a lot about our lives which were so different.
Then she said. “I must go now but I will come back every day until it is time if you wish it I will also get my cook to prepare your meals anything would be better than what you are eating now. I wouldn’t disagree with her on that score so I said. “I would like to talk again but I don’t think you will be allowed to give me food it’s against regulations but I thank you Mam.” She replied. “You leave that to me oh and by the way I have not introduced myself properly you may call me Yvette and what is your name?” I told her. “My name is William Lamb but all my friends call me Billy Boy”, I could feel my cheeks colouring as I said this. She said to me. “Then it shall be Billy Boy for we are now friends, so till tomorrow Billy Boy adieu”, and with these last words she walked away giving the guard a withering look as she passed him. I shook my head and thought what a woman I had never met anyone like her and I had no idea why she would be bothering with a condemned man like me for still I could not help feeling affection for her. After the countess had gone I was at a bit of a loss I sat thinking about how I had been shafted and railroaded through the farce that was my Courts Martial. I just hoped everyone at home was alright but my main concern was Helen I couldn’t understand why she hadn’t written unless all mail was held up because of the offensive I had to tell myself it was this or I would have gone mad. It was also in quite times like this I got scared of the death I faced on the battlefield you didn’t have time to be scared but here and now it seemed to creep over you. I mean what would it be like I knew it was a journey you had to take alone but would the pain be agonising, and would I meet my friends Helen and my parents in the next life? As a Christian I had to believe that I would but god and religion got to be questioned seriously when you saw some of the things that had happened in this war. These questions ran through my head and I could answer none of them I had always been taught to see death as the one great