CHAPTER VIII
STUBBY TELLS WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM
ell," said Stubby, "my story isn't much to hear. You will have a good laugh over it, I suppose, though I can assure you what happened to me was no laughing matter.
"When we left here, Mr. Noland drove straight out into the country, and you must know he is a fast and reckless driver. I nearly bounced out of the car two or three times, for when he comes to a bad place in the road, instead of driving slowly he puts on more power and goes through lickety-split. As for turns and curves, I fell over on his lap every time he went around a corner. But the worst of it is he is very impatient if there is anything in the road that he can't pass. And it seemed to me I never saw so many pigs, chickens and slow-going farm wagons before. He would toot his horn, and the old farmers would not pay the slightest attention or give him one bit of the road, but just keep right on in the middle and jog along, giving us their dust. Mr. Noland would drive up close to their wagons and toot his horn until he would nearly break it. Then he would try to pass and nearly upset his machine in the deep ditches that bordered the road. But he always made it on two wheels, if not on four, and as he passed he would call out all sorts of things to the stupid old drivers. His favorite expressions were, 'Say, do you think you own the road?' and 'If you want to sleep, you better drive your old hayrack and rattling old bones to the side of the road,' or 'Now take a little of my dust and see how you like it!' And all the time he was growing madder and madder.
"Consequently when we came to some cows with one of them lying straight across the road and several others blocking the way as they stood about, I hopped out to drive them out of the way. But an old cow with a calf instead of running away from me as I supposed she would do, took after me and I was so busy dodging her that I did not notice another cow until I ran right into her. And she quickly lowered her head and hooked me out of the road and over the fence.
It was Stubby's and Button's frantic efforts to escape that had caused all the fun and laughter.
"Now in this field was a flock of sheep quietly sleeping in the shade of a tree, an old ram with immense horns watching over them. I landed in the midst of the flock, which woke them up in a hurry and they jumped up and ran off, frightened almost to pieces at a strange dog falling in their midst. And the stupid things, instead of waiting to see if I was going to hurt them or not, all jumped up and ran baaing in all directions. This probably made the old ram, their leader, disgusted at them for being so foolish as to be afraid of so small a dog as I, and equally angry to think they had no more confidence in his ability to protect them from harm. And as they had all run off, so he could not vent his spite on them, he took it out on me and as I was looking for a place to crawl through the barbed wire fence he came up behind me and kindly butted me over.
"I must have made a funny picture hunting for a place to get through the fence, all unconscious of the old ram coming toward me and then being lifted over by a big butt. Anyway, when I landed in the middle of the road, I heard Mr. Noland laughing as if he would split his sides. And he called out, 'Excuse me for laughing at you, my little stubby-tailed dog, but I never saw anything so funny in my life! Hope you are not hurt, for I should hate to have you hurt when you were trying to do a favor for me. If another contrary old cow gets in the road, I'll run into her and boost her off the road myself.' Which he did later on, and this is what happened.
"He ran his car right into a cow in such a way that she sat on the bumper of the machine and he pushed her over on the bank. She slipped and fell back on the car and broke off one of the lamps. My, but he was mad! He threw stones at her and made me chase her for half a mile, calling out to me to bite her leg, bite her leg! This I did two or three times, but I only snipped her a little as I did not care to take any chances of being kicked sky high after having been butted twice in quick succession. My sides were still aching from the imprint of the cow's and the ram's horns.
"When we were again on the road and going along nicely, Mr. Noland said, 'Stubby, this seems to be a disastrous drive for us this morning, doesn't it?' He had scarcely gotten the words out of his mouth when bang! went a tire. Well, I would not like to repeat what he said. Now if there is anything he dislikes to do it is to put on a tire or fuss with the car in any way. He always manages to have either his son or the hired man do it. But here he was thirty-five miles from home on a road where few people passed.
"'I bet I haven't any inner tube to put in!' he muttered to himself, 'and even if I have, it is a mean job to fix it. I would run on the rim but if I do my whole wheel will be ruined. If I wait for some one to come and help me, I may wait until doomsday as this is a side road and little traveled.'
"He took off his hat, scratched his head and thought a minute. Then he climbed the fence at the side of the road and waved to a farmer he saw plowing in a field half a mile away. After many attempts he succeeded in attracting the farmer's attention, and he left his horses and came toward us. When he was within speaking distance, Mr. Noland called out, 'Mornin', Hiram! I am sorry to bother you, but I am in trouble. I have a busted inner tube and I can't fix it myself. Could you come and help me? The two of us can do it in a short time but it is an everlasting job for one to tackle. If you will help me, I'll give you a peck of that Golden Bantam seed corn you like so much the next time you are in town.'
"This corn was something Hiram had long coveted, as Mr. Noland's Golden Bantam corn is the envy of all the farmers as it is extra fine for table use. So Hiram jumped over the fence in a jiffy and the two set to work with a will. In twenty minutes the wheel was fixed and we were on our way.
"'That delay will make us reach our destination about dinner time, so we will have to ask them to keep us. I am right glad as Farmer Greenbush's wife is noted for her guinea pot pies, and perhaps if I hint around and flatter her, she might make one for our dinner. I'll just speed up a little until we get to the big Molkie Hill after which we can't make much time as the road is bad,' said Mr. Noland.
"For the next fifteen minutes we drove as fast as the little Ford would take us. Soon we were at the foot of the celebrated Molkie Hill. It is known far and wide as being the steepest and the most difficult hill for autos to climb for miles and miles around.
"'I'll just take it on a run,' said Mr. Noland to himself, and he put on full speed and we mounted to within a few feet of the top, when his engine stopped short and before he could put on his brakes we were running backwards down that hill at a terrific speed. When he did put on the brakes we were going so fast they did no good. Instead of him paying attention to his steering and keeping us in the middle of the road, he turned his head to see where he was going. I guess he lost his head and turned the steering wheel the wrong way, for we shot to one side of the road, hit the corner of the bridge at the bottom of the hill and turned upside down in the water. We knocked the top off, but otherwise we did not injure the car in the least."
"What became of you when the car turned over?" asked Button.
"I fell out as it went over and the current of the stream carried me from under it so I was not hurt. And Mr. Noland escaped too as the car caught in such a way on some rocks that it kept the body of the car from crushing him. As I swam out of the stream on the other side of the bridge, I saw him crawling out from under the wreck."
"Well, I should say you had had a very exciting morning," said Billy. "And how did you get home at last? I bet you lost your guinea pot pie though!"
"After Mr. Noland wiped some of the mud and dirt off himself, he sat on the bank a long time and did not say a word. I was beginning to get worried and was afraid he was hurt when he pulled out a memorandum book from his pocket and began to write in it. Presently he tore out a leaf and called me to come to him.
"'Come here, little dog. I want you to do something for me. I know you will if I can only make you understand what I want. Understand, only a very smart dog could do what I am going to ask you to do. Here is a note I want you to take to the store that is a mile from here over the top of this hill. You carry it in your mouth—or no, I'll tie it around your neck in my handkerchief. You take it to the storekeeper and bark. Then pull at the handkerchief with your teeth. He will think it is choking you and when he unloosens it he will find my note. After reading it he will hustle around and come to my rescue, bringing you back with him.'
"'Well, of all clever stunts to think of, this beats them all,' I thought.
"He placed the note carefully in the handkerchief and tied it around my neck. When it was fixed all right, I took a drink of water and started up the hill, while he called after me, 'Good luck, little dog; good luck!'
"In less than half an hour I was at the store, as it was easy to find. As I ran into the store, I found five or six big farmers loafing about or buying groceries or getting their mail. It was not hard to distinguish the storekeeper, as he was the only man without a hat and, besides, he stood behind the counter.
"Gee! It did smell good behind the counter for I was hungry and there were boxes of gingersnaps, crackers, Bologna sausage and all sorts of good things there. But I paid no attention to them as I wished to deliver my message. The storekeeper was a big, good-natured man, and he nearly stepped on me. In fact, he did nip my toe and I barked with the pain. This made him first look down and notice me.
"'Heigho! Here is a stray dog. I am sorry I stepped on you, but don't you know that customers are not allowed behind the counter?'
"Right here I rolled over on my back and began pulling the end of the handkerchief.
"'Mercy on us! The poor dog is going to have a fit! That handkerchief must be tied too tight. I'll just untie it. I wonder to whom he belongs? I thought I knew every dog for miles around.'
"He stooped down, and then, 'Bless my soul, there is something tied up in this handkerchief! I wonder what it can be?'
"When he found the note and had read it he called to the men in the store and read it to them.
"'Who brought the note?' asked one man.
"'No person brought it. This little dog carried it folded up in this handkerchief that was tied around his neck.' And he lifted me to the counter so all could see me.
"'Who but Noland would have thought of sending word in that way?' laughed another of the men.
"'Let's get a move on and all go to his rescue,' proposed a third.
"This they agreed to do, and soon five farmers were jogging along, ropes, pulleys and chains in the bottom of their wagons to help haul the wrecked car out of the stream.
"I was just about to jump off the counter and follow them when the storekeeper called out: 'Here, little dog, you must be hungry. Stop and eat a bite before you go back. You can easily overtake them.'
"He gave me a big lunch of sausage and a handful of crackers with butter on them, and three or four gingersnaps. I can tell you I blessed that good-hearted man for giving food to me. So few people ever seem to think that animals get hungry and thirsty, or they give them just a little piece of cake—not enough to stay the hunger of a tiny mouse. I licked up every crumb and wished as I did so that I had a pocket in my side so I could take Mr. Noland something to eat.
"'Say, little dog, do you suppose you could carry a sandwich or two back if I tied them on your back instead of around you neck? They would be too heavy to tie around your neck,' said the storekeeper.
"I barked and shook my head yes.
"'Well, I declare I believe this dog can almost talk, as well as understand all that is said to him!'
"Then he made two big sandwiches, one of Swiss cheese and the other of Bologna sausage, wrapped them in paper and tied them on my back with string and the handkerchief in which I had brought the note. Then he set a pan of nice cool water on the counter for me to drink. After this he put me on the floor by the door, where he stood watching me until I was out of sight.
"I can tell you Mr. Noland appreciated those sandwiches as much as I did the luncheon he had given to me. And he said to the farmers who were helping him, 'There is a good-hearted man and from now on I shall buy all I can at his store. He deserves to be helped.' To which all the farmers agreed and one and all said they traded with him altogether as they had found he never cheated on his weights or gave short measure.
"With the help of the farmers, the auto was soon up on the road and hitched to the back of one of the farm wagons that was going our way. Mr. Noland and I were in another wagon that was going the same way.
"In this manner we reached home just before dark. I tell you what; give me an auto in preference to a horse! My back fairly ached from trying to push those slow horses and it took hours to go over the road we had traveled in minutes by automobile.
"I am pretty tired, so I guess I will bid you both good-by and go to bed. Au revoir until to-morrow!"
"Not so fast!" said Button. "I am tired too, so I will turn in when you do."
"I am not feeling any too spry myself," said Billy. "So if you two are going to bed, I will also."
And presently the three Chums were fast asleep under the trees, living over again in dreams their experiences of the day.
