— Chapter Six —
Nick had a restless night. He had bought back the woman he had drooled over at the bar in front of Champion a-go-go. He had managed to wangle a ‘freebee’ after he drunkenly argued with the mamasan he left alone, without paying the bar fine. He accompanied Spock and Lek and, as the three walked down the street, they were caught up with by ‘Von’ who said.
“Mai pen rai, never mind,” she said, “No problem, bar closed now I go with you, no bar fine.”
Nick who was wankered, slurred “good” and the four got on a mototaxi and went to their hotel and up to their rooms. Nick’s interest in Von had waned, she was fairly old and unattractive, and he did not want to pay her for sex, ‘a waste of money’ he thought and gave her 20 Baht for a taxi, and told her to leave. She mumbled something in Thai, stormed out and slammed. He showered, the cold water felt good on his now re-stinging sphincter. He felt between his butt cheeks, the hairs had been scorched off and he could feel blisters had started to form, ‘This will sting,’ he thought. He was right, and he spent the night tossing and turning in bed, at times he went and administered ice to this rather sore area. Nick had eventually nodded off around daybreak. A loud hammering thump on the door, woke him up.
“Are you awake matey? It’s five o’clock.”
“Yeah, Spock,” he said “come in.”
A large cheery faced Spock entered his room.
“That’s a bit dangerous leaving your door unlocked,” said a concerned Spock.
“No,” said Nick “it’s okay”,
Nick thought for a moment about his door and the damage Spocks thumping could do.
“Don’t knock next time, just tap and walk in.” said Nick
They talked about the events of the previous night, which Spock found difficult to believe or fully take it in. Spock told Nick that Stu was in his room, but did not know who with. He explained, he’d woken Stu well over an hour ago, and had just spoke to him again through the door, but he said that he was in the middle of doing something and mentioned that he was on his ‘vinegar stroke’ so had told him to go away.
Spock enquired about Von, and Nick told him that he’d paid her and sent her away, although not mentioning he only paid 20Baht. Nick enquired about Lek, Spock explained she had to go to work; she started in the bar at 6pm and wanted to shower and change.
“I told her I would see her later,” said Spock,
“And will you?” enquired Nick.
“Unlikely, she was a sturdy shag, but a bit of a horror.”
Nick laughed and said.
“You’re learning mate, there are plenty more, now sod off while I get dressed. I’ll meet you in reception.”
At six o’clock, they all met up in the hotel reception, Nick, Spock and, Stu, who was the last to arrive, arm in arm with Dao. The other two looked at them, they had seen Dao at the bar reading, but hadn’t paid much attention to her. So, thought Spock, ‘that’s where the little bugger disappeared to and that’s why he acted so strange, the daft twat has gone and fallen in love.’ He looked at his long time friend who beamed from ear to ear.
“What happened?’ asked Spock.
Stu explained he had no idea, and he went on to give details of how he remembered leaving the Happy World bar and couldn’t get Dao out of his mind. He vaguely remembered the go-go, and the next thing he remembered, was when he woke up next to Dao. Then, after he came around a bit, they showered together, and made mad passionate love, Dao spoke a little English, but the words she would use to describe what they did, was not mad passionate love, but a damn wild ‘Boom boom’, Shag.
Stu wanted to keep Dao, but was unsure how, he asked Nick, who explained he must pay a bar fine of 200Baht for every night he took her away from the bar. Stu thought this a little seedy as this was love, and not just a fling, but gave Dao 200Baht to go pay the bar, she wanted to go change and shower again in her room. Nick told Stu they would see her at her bar later;
“She can’t go anywhere with anyone else because the bar has been paid.”And added,
“She’s been reserved.”
Stu kissed Dao goodbye and told her that he would see her later. The other two looked at each other and smiled.
The lads headed into the hot sticky night air, it was 6:30 pm and had started to get dark. They stopped at a clothes shop and Stu and Spock bought some vests and shorts. Spock bought some thick camel shorts, which both Stu and Nick thought he would be too hot wearing. They ate at an outdoor restaurant, ordering a full English breakfast. Although late, it was their first meal of the day and the first real food they had since they ate on the plane the previous day, apart from the street barbecue, which Stu had thought had given him rather loose stools, the shits.
Now fed, they changed into their new clothes back at the hotel and decided to go explore this magical place some more, before they met up with Dao at the Happy World bar. Stu already missed Dao, it had been almost two hours since he last saw her. They made their way to Soi 2, a lively Soi, situated at the top end of North Pattaya. There were about 50 bars in a covered area, many with live music. The lads settled in one bar that had a band, which consisted of three Thais who blasted out a not too bad version of ‘I shot the sheriff.’ They ordered Singha beer and settled in, they were all a little bored with the taste of beer, having sunk copious amounts the previous night, however they forced it down.
They moved around Soi 2 for a few hours, now juiced and groping the happy bar girls, en-masse behind, and in front of the many bars. Every time Stu or Spock took out a pair of breasts out from a giggling girl’s bra, they would buy them a drink. Nick, they noticed however, kept his hands well away from his wallet. Having a great time, they soon crept up to spannered state. They came across a quiet bar and, although it had many girls, it was not as noisy as the others. They sat down and Stu could see Spock with his ‘time for the trick’ face on; ‘that’s why he bought thick cotton shorts.’ thought Stu.
Sure enough, true to form, Spock made his way off his stool and positioned himself on one of the small chairs around the bar. The girls who had been talking to the lads, and other girls around the bar with their foreign companions, all watched as Spock got into his position, legs up, lighter ready, he felt his methane supply bubbling, and gave one good push. He furrowed his brow for extra push power.
A look of relief, followed by horror came across Spock’s large face. He put his legs down, put the lighter back on the table and with a nonchalant look, picked up his drink. No flames, no entertainment, nothing.
The people looked puzzled and went back to their conversation and drinks. Spock looked bemused and shocked. Stu got off his stool and went over to his large friend
“What happened mate… and what is that awful smell?”
Then Stu realised what had happened.
Nick leaned back on his stool and asked
“Lads, shall we start on the ‘shorts’, I am fed up with beer.”
“Yes mate, order me a vodka and coke,” said Stu, and tried to keep a straight face as he continued,
“And make Spocks a size XXL, he has shit in his.”
Stu then fell about laughing. Spock was embarrassed and looked at his old friend in tears of laughter on the floor and said.
“Yes matey, very funny, now get up, and go buy me some new ones.”
‘Never trust a fart in Thailand’
Now getting quite late, the now spannered lads headed for the Happy World bar, Spock in his new shorts, he had changed and cleaned up in the toilets,’ best five Baht I’ve spent,’ he thought, the cost for using some public conveniences
While they waited for Spock, Stu noticed a hotel, with a large sign that read ‘Sabaiiland body massage’. It was on a corner of Soi 2, which made it look a little out of place.
“What’s that?” he asked Nick.
With a smirk, Nick informed him that it was a ‘soapy massage place’ and they could go tomorrow.
They reached the Happy World bar, the girls all whooped at them,
“Welcome Nick, welcome Spock,” they all looked at Stu and laughed “Hello Stu.”
Dao was sitting behind the bar reading her book, she saw Stu and stood up, fetched them drinks over and then she went to sit next to Stu.
“What happened last night?” Stu asked Dao.
“You don’t remember?” said Dao smiling.
“No,” said Stu “All I know is that I got you,” and pecked Dao on the forehead.
“Better you don’t remember stupid man.” she said and smiled.
Dao was 22 years-old, and like most bar girls in Pattaya had been lured there with the dreams of finding a foreigner to take care of her and her family. Many ‘bar girls’ are country girls, usually from the Isaan region, a poor area in north east of Thailand, most had children. Dao, being no exception had a baby son. The girls usually went to the tourist area, where they could find bar work, leaving their children, this is the Thai way. They usually come with hard luck stories of their child’s father who would have either been a drunk, taking drugs or a butterfly, someone who went from girl to girl. Many of these stories are untrue, but told in order to get a foreigner to send money for them. Many of the girls would have several foreign men sending money, which they shared with their friends and, maybe current Thai boyfriend. This is again, the Thai way. Western society consider this as degrading and believe they are forced into this life, and are being exploited, and yes, probably some were. Nevertheless, as most bargirls will tell you, they earn good money, can take care of their family, party every night, get a shag, and get paid for it, and to a Thai, sex is just another bodily function. However, they will not go with a man if they don’t like him, it was their choice. The girls all stick together, and have many excuses why they cannot go with a particular man. When the girls first come to work the bar, until they have a few 'farang,' foreigners under their belt, they were usually shy, until they learned the ropes from the more experienced girls and the ‘mamasan’, so at this stage, they have not been corrupted or brainwashed, so sometimes, the lucky ones will be whisked off and get married a foreigner. This happened quite frequently, a Thai wife, is a loving, loyal and usually beautiful partner. Not all Thai girls are bar girls, they are the minority, most are usually the same as the western women, homemakers, doctors, students, teacher’s etc. However, bar work is a very accepted part of the Thai way of life, which is why many single, and married men, come to tourist areas like Pattaya and Phuket. Especially now the buffaloes have all gone.
Stu was Dao’s second farang experience. Her first was an old German man. Mamasan had told her that the older they are, the better.
“Can’t get it up,” she smiled, “Only want some company and usually fall asleep, a real catch.”
Dao, having been at the bar now for two weeks, had seen the foreign men come and go, and she was no longer afraid of the large foreign invaders. She decided it would be okay to go with ‘Kurt’. Dao got her bag and went around to the other side of the bar. Kurt bought her drink after drink, which was good for the bar because she only drank orange juice which Kurt paid 120 Baht a glass, of which Dao got a cut of a‘ lady drink’ usually 20 Baht.
Kurt looked about 80 years-old, and appeared a lot older than her granddad. By the time they left the bar, Kurt was well wankered. They got back to the room and, as mamasan had told her, he went off into a loud snoring slumber. The old man awoke in the morning, gave Dao 1000 Baht, which would have been two weeks’ salary in her village, picking rice. She showered and left, ‘easy money,’ she thought, and never saw Kurt again.
Her second experience was now with Stu, and was not so easy. She had noticed Stu, and liked the look of, this odd shaped man with a nice smile.
He’d left the bar with his friends but returned later and made a terrible noise that Charlie said was a foreign song and, with a rose in his mouth he went behind the bar, grabbed a rather bemused looking Dao, asked the boss to play a record that had been played earlier, ‘Wonderful tonight’. Stu twirled and serenaded Dao for 10 minutes, before he’d collapsed into a chair, and like a fat novelty Buddha statue, he fell asleep, occasionally waking up and continuing with his song. Charlie’s wife, the mamasan, asked Dao if she liked him. Dao thought hard and looked at the heap in the chair.
“Yes,” she said, “he makes me laugh.”
“Well take him home and take care of him,” ordered mamasan.
They knew which hotel Stu was staying, he was Nick’s friend, and Nick always stayed at the Sawasdee. They bundled Stu in a taxi and Dao took him to his room. Stu started to sober up a bit, so she put him in the shower and turned the water cold, at which point he shook himself, looked at Dao naked in the shower along with him, pointed at her and slurred.
“You’re lovely,” a stupid drunken grin then came over his face. He got out of the shower flopped onto his bed and promptly fell asleep, still drooling.
The next day they awoke, and Dao expected to be paid and go back to the bar, she never expected anyone actually found her attractive. Many Thai women think this, as they see models on TV wearing makeup and on catwalks or in movies. They believe all foreign women are beautiful, and Thai humbly think they are ugly. It was a pleasant surprise that Stu had told her he wanted to keep her, although he wasn’t sure how, but he would find out and he wanted to keep her forever. This made her feel happy. Dao quite liked this funny little man. She enjoyed her first real snog and sex was no different to that of a Thai man, it just took longer and not usually three times, but she enjoyed it and maybe the novelty would wear off as mamasan said it usually did.
Now in the Happy World bar. Stu had decided to go home early, after he and Dao had finished their drinks. Spock and Nick decided to head off to a go-go in Soi 7 and search for the lucky woman who was going to get a damn good rattling that night. Spock knew what kind he wanted for that evening and she would have to be sturdy, he was in the mood. Stu had asked Nick if they were going to see that place, ‘Sabaiiland’. Nick said a very elated “Oh yes,” but was shocked when Stu asked if Dao could come, whereupon he said a firm, “Oh no!”
The next morning Spock was woken by a knock on the door. It was Stu wanting to know if he was going for some breakfast. He said he would meet him downstairs. Spock got his bearings, he had a strange taste in his mouth, he moved his tongue and felt something odd, and he pulled out a small thin serrated leg.
“How did that get there?” He said, once again he was wankered, he looked over at the figure laid next to him and nudged it.
Lek turned over and saw Spock holding up the leg, she rolled over, taking a bag from under the bed, and presented Spock with a half eaten bag of fried locusts.
Nick had another sleepless night. He’d lost Spock in Soi 7 and had once again returned alone. ‘Never mind’ he thought, ‘Luanne would be here later and maybe my arse will have stopped hurting.’
Luanne was between boyfriends, one had just gone back and another was due out in a few days. Nick had known Luanne several months and had been with her several times, he had called her on the off chance that she was free and she arranged to come later and spend a day and night with him. Luanne liked Nick, but he never paid as much as her other men, so he was a stopgap every now and again, this arrangement suited them both.
They all met in the reception at around noon. Stu and Dao had already eaten, Stu mentioned that Dao wanted to go to her room as her friend had returned from her home village and she wanted to see her; which would give the lads a chance to go to Sabaiiland and take a look.
Dao’s friend, Moo, had not been home, she had been with her ‘boyfriend’. Moo had come to work in the bar with Dao. Moo, had taken to bar work, like a duck to water and, whereas Dao had been timid and shy around the men, Moo was outgoing, spoke and flirted in broken English with everyone. She had been taken her first night and every night since. Her latest conquest, an English man, had taken her for a week and took her to stay in Jomtien, a beach resort about 10km from Pattaya, which is much less raucous. The English man had left during the early hours of the morning to fly home, so Moo would be back in the room she shared with Dao.
Dao wanted to see her friend and tell her about Stu, also see what trophies and gifts Moo had acquired this time, gold and mobile phones being the preferred items.
Although Moo was not beautiful unlike Dao, she was cute and outgoing, and men loved this.
Lek and Dao left the hotel together in the mid afternoon, and the lads headed to Sabaiiland and entered the swish looking hotel. Stu and Spock had been looking forward to a massage, as both of them had aching backs from too much shagging. They imparted this information to Nick, who smirked.
The reception area of Sabaiiland was huge, it had a bar on one side and several tables set out around the floor area, and a large flat window on the other side. Behind this window sat very elegantly dressed Thai women, about 20 in all. It looked like a giant fishtank. The lads sat down and ordered a coffee. All the women wore small badges with numbers written on, and Nick explained,
“These are the err…masseuses,” he smirked.
A smartly dressed looking Thai man came over to their table.
“Which one would you like, sir?” directing his question at Spock.
“Hang on, matey,” said Spock “we’re just looking,”
The man backed away.
The lads spent several more minutes observing the women. Spock had noticed a large woman sat on the back row. ‘She’ll do,’ he thought, ‘she would be able to give me a good sorting out.’ He called the Thai man back over.
“Give me number 34.”
The Thai man explained the price was 1800 Baht for 90 minutes. The man went to the fish tank and called out number 34 and number 26 for Stu. Nick said he would go later, which did not surprise Stu or Spock as they had realised that Nick was even thriftier than Stu.
The pair were taken up into very smart rooms that more than justified the price.
Spock’s room was next door to Stu’s. Spock noticed even though there was a large bed and an even larger round bath, there wasn’t a massage table, there was however, a large inflatable bed propped up near the bath. The woman went over to the bath and turned on the taps. She went over to the confused Spock and motioned the removal of his clothes and handing him a towel. She went over to the bath and carried on with the filling, checking the water was not too hot, or too cold. Spock stood in his towel and she called him over. When the bath was full, she told Spock to get in. She then undressed and got in facing the big lad. Taking some soap from the liquid container at the side of the bath, she gently caressed the foam sensually over Spock’s body from head to toe, “marvellous,” he said blissfully. After he had been thoroughly bathed, she stood up. Spock looked at her Amazonian figure; he’d never imagined Thais come in XXL sizes too. The woman put the airbed on the floor and motioned Spock to lay on it. He did as instructed, and the lady opened the top of a large squeezy bottle, squeezing its oily contents onto Spock, and herself. She then lay down on top of Spock rubbing her body along and up and down Spock’s back. After several minutes of this she rolled Spock over and noticed that she had done a pleasurable job as a large proboscis was stood firmly to attention. She repeated the process on his front and listened to Spock cooing, he was happy, she thought. After a few minutes of this performance, she pulled a weak kneed Spock to his feet, flopped him onto the bed, placed a condom on his erect member and proceeded to give him the most sensual ‘blow job’ he had ever had. A few moments later, she replaced the condom, after she had done her job too well and now had to attempt to bring life back into the now flaccid tool.
This didn’t take her long, she mounted Spock, gyrating and thrusting herself rapidly up and down. Spock soon deposited his second spoonful of ‘man fat’. She then took him back to the bath and bathed him again. They went back over to the bed and turned on the wall mounted TV, she patted the space next to her and Spock lay down beside her. Forty-five minutes had passed and not a word had been spoken between them, mainly because it was a boring routine for her and Spock was too gobsmacked and blissful to speak. They lay down and watched an in-house porn movie, and then in a very soft feminine voice she whispered, “If you want to go again, it’ll cost you more money.”
The phone in the room buzzed to signal 90 minutes. The woman and Spock both got dressed and made their way back to the reception to where Nick and a smiling Stu waited. Stu had finished about two minutes earlier, and he giggled and cooed like a schoolboy. Spock sat down and looked at Nick.
“Did you enjoy your first soapy?” Nick asked with a smirk.
“Yep” said Spock “but my back is still sore.”
They made their way back to the Sawasdee hotel, and popped into a few bars on the way back for an afternoon libation. They arrived back at the hotel early evening and felt squeaky-clean.
Luanne arrived at the hotel earlier and had been waiting for Nick. He introduced her to Stu and Spock, and told them he would meet up with them later in the Happy World bar. He and Luanne headed up to his room. Nick was like a dog that had just scented a bitch on heat.
Stu and Spock sprayed themselves with mosquito repellent, and headed off for the Happy World bar. On their arrival, Dao sat behind the bar playing Connect-Four with her friend, Moo, and two men sat the opposite side of the bar. Stu and Spock sat down at a table, a bit of jealousy crept in with Stu, but was relieved when Dao got up, went to the fridge and brought over two bottles of Singha beer. She kissed Stu and sat down next to him. The two men at the bar glared at Stu. Spock returned the stare and the two immediately returned to their game. The lady who was sitting next to Dao and now playing with the two men at the bar, kept looking over at the giant sitting with Dao and Stu and smiled. Spock returned the smile and the woman cheekily stuck out her tongue, and smiled again.
Stu and Dao talked, while looking gooey eyed at each other, Spock had just concluded a deal with a street seller for a fake Rolex ‘Yacht Master’ watch. He paid the man and showed his purchase to Stu, who looked, and agreed on it being a fine looking timepiece.
“It looked like the real McCoy,” said Stu.
The two men who were at the bar exited, careful to avoid nudging Spock as they scuttled out. Moo came to the table and pecked Spock on the cheek and sat next to him, it was as if she had known him all her life. Dao introduced Moo and Spock ordered a drink for her, mostly in order to get her to stop grabbing his slightly tender todger. Moo took the new watch from the table, looked, then looked again and showed Dao. They both spoke in Thai to each other, and Moo turned to Spock.
“You ‘Ting tong”, stupid, and started counting using her fingers to demonstrate 1-2-3-5 and holding up four fingers. She could see Spock looking confused so she repeated 1-2-3-5, Spock thought, “Bless her she is trying,” and said.
“No it’s 1-2-3-4-5”.
Moo held the watch up in front of Spock and exasperated, said
“Look!”
Spock looked at the watch, looked at the numbers on the watch, then realised 1-2-3-5-5, he looked up, and took the watch, put it on the table.
“Little bastard has ripped me off.”
It wasn’t late when Stu and Dao walked hand in hand back to the hotel. Spock followed with nobody by his side, but a petite Moo hanging around his shoulders like a fox stole. ‘I hope I don’t break her,’ thought Spock.
Spock tapped on Nick’s room, he had been absent all night, Spock, knocked and walked in. Nick and Luanne were in bed watching TV. Spock asked Nick if he was Okay and he told them about his watch. He left the room with Luanne moaning to Nick about locking his door.
Spock returned to his room, Moo was taking a shower. Spock had brought some whisky at the mini-mart on the way home and poured himself and Moo a glass,
‘The bloody woman drinks like a fish,’ he thought, remembering she’d kept up with him at the Happy World bar. Moo finished and told him to go take a shower, which he did, mainly to get some cold water on his worn out todger.
He finished showering and got onto the bed, where a naked, smiling Moo was eagerly waiting. ‘I will just give her a quickie,’ he thought, he thought wrong. Spock finished after about ten minutes, but Moo was having none of it, she wanted a climax, and that was that. With great strength for such a little woman, Moo shunted Spock into position after position, mounting him and widely thrashing and thrusting herself on his now sore and swollen tool, until after about twenty minute she came. She had broken Spock. He lay there for several moments too worn out to move. Moo sat up and watched a movie and drank her whisky. Spock looked at Moo, ‘she was cute’ he thought, and ‘wow! What a great shag’
‘What can we do now?’ he thought, as it was only early, Spock had noticed something about Moo that he wasn’t keen on, he stroked his head, ‘hmmm getting a bit long,’ His hair was about 2mm long but he usually liked to feel his scalp. ‘I’ll show the cheeky little monkey,’ he thought.
The ‘thunderbolt’ had struck again.
Nick had a great night just relaxing with Luanne, she had bought him some flamazine cream, and applied it to his now recovering burn, they talked, made love and chilled out all night, and then they fell asleep holding one another. Morning came and Luanne got up and dressed, she had to go to meet her other boyfriend, who was due in later that day.
Thai women were good organisers regarding the visits of boyfriends, so they wouldn’t clash, sometimes though, an unavoidable cross of times of visits can take place. The lady tends to take one away, usually the one who sends her the most money, then she will get her friends to tell the other man she has gone home for a few days, ‘baby was sick,’ being the usual excuse. They usually get away with this, but occasionally lose the man to other bar girls. They are never concerned about this as usually they can be replaced with ease. Moreover, this is an acceptable practice between bar girls as it is after all, a business.
You never lose your girl; you only lose your turn.
Nick felt a bit sad at Luanne’s departure, ‘but at least it’s free,’ he thought. He got out of bed and went over to the small window next to his door. The corner rooms have a patio door that leads out onto a balcony and a small window that was about the same size as a normal window in the UK. This window opened inwards and looked out onto the hotel entrance and small courtyard. Nick leaned out of the window and watched Luanne get on a Baht bus. Nick wished he earned more money. Although he did work in London, it was only for a few weeks a time to earn money to come to Thailand, about six times a year, he subsidised his money by selling counterfeit goods, which he bought in Pattaya. The arrangement he had with Luanne was OK, but he would like a more permanent relationship. A loud rap on the door, followed by Spock bursting in with a big grin on his face, violently interrupted Nick’s thoughts
“Morning matey”
Stu, Dao and Moo were sat on the bed in Stu’s room. Moo had been explaining about the previous night with Spock, sometimes speaking in Thai, when she did not want Stu to know the details. She started speaking in her broken English, explaining they had just had sex. Spock got out of bed and produced a Remington rechargeable razor. He went to the bathroom and asked Moo to shave his head even though she had trouble reaching around his massive frame. When she had finished, he thanked her, then removed the towel she had wrapped around herself and tugged at her pubic hair. Spock had not liked this because it was only a small but long tuft of hair, and he liked either a nice bush, or nothing, she was to have nothing, and off came the tuft. Stu and Doa laughed, but Moo said she didn’t like it because it itched.
Spock entered the room and joined the other three and knew what they were laughing about, and said.
“She won’t be cheeky again or next time the hair on her head would fall victim to the Remington.”
“Is Nick coming for some breakfast?” Enquired Stu.
“I don’t know mate, I went to his room, his door was unlocked, but he wasn’t there,” explained Spock.
“He might have been seeing off Luanne, she’s going today,” continued Stu.
“Oh yeah, that’s right, but he’s stupid leaving his door unlocked.” said Spock.
They laughed and joked some more. Stu had not seen his old friend so happy and contented in many years and, as Spoke and Moo went on, he felt like he was watching a comedy. Stu knew Spock had become, like him, smitten..
Dao went to the balcony to hang out the towels when she noticed a commotion down below.
“Come look!” she said.
The three joined her on the balcony and noticed peo