I was in a pub when a friend bit into a cheese and onion toastie, yelled and then declared it to be as hot as the centre of the sun. It really tickled me. I like it when people express themselves in a totally abstract way. It makes everything far more interesting.
I was also in a pub once when someone told me I needed to get a life. I wish I’d have said he needed to stop drinking to excess, insulting everyone, trying to cop off with everyone’s wife whilst beating up his own, smuggling hardcore porn into the country and ripping off his mates. I didn’t. Sometimes there comes a point where you just don’t need to.
I like pubs. They’re a surreal environment. Really they are. You never quite know what to expect, even from those you know the most. It’s like a whole new world to be explored.
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