EIGHT
Her mobile rang. Reva was on the line.
“What's wrong with you? This is my third call. Why were you not picking up the phone, damn it?” she screamed.
Third call? How is it possible that she did not hear the phone?
Strange!!
“Sorry,” she said.
“Well, my dear author. We've decided to celebrate your success tomorrow evening. A pre-launch of the book! I have planned a surprise for you. Just be there at Nitin's house at 6 p.m.” Reva's voice was ringing with excitement.
“Who else will be there?”
“Come and you will get to know.”
“Why at Nitin's house?”
“That was the best place I could think of. He's the only one I know with a house that overlooks the sea. He was also nice enough to let us have it,” she said.
I knew another guy too, who had an apartment overlooking the sea.
She thought of Nimesh's apartment that also overlooked the sea.
“But you broke off with him, didn't you? How could you ask for a party at his house, then?”
“Maya, come on. Life is too short to live in the past.”
“It was all over long back. We decided to be friends now. Are you coming or not.”
She heard the silence behind the receiver. “Come on, I am doing this for you. I have invited a few hot top models and cool dudes too. We can take our photographs with them and try and get them published. Any publicity helps.”
“Why would they publish our pictures?”
“Firstly, there is a lot of talk about the book. Secondly, we would pay them. Thirdly, you shouldn't be asking such dumb questions, it does not suit you.”
“Paidpublicity!” “Is it?” She giggled. “Money can bloody well buy everything,” Her tone was sarcastic.
Except peace, her heart murmured.
“I'll be there.”
Reva Sharma and she went back to her college days in Delhi. Since then they glued together in ups and downs. Reva had a round face with straight hair, unlike the unruly curls Maya possessed. She was beautiful, especially when she smiled. She was extremely well networked and spent half her life on Facebook, Google Chat or Skype. WhatsApp however was the new entrant in her list of apps. She was hooked to them. It was no less than an addiction, for she was on a hunt for a suitable match for herself, but couldn't narrow down on anyone. She developed some interest in Nitin, a software engineer. But that too had broken down.
It escaped Maya how she was different fromReva. Yet they got along with each other like a house on fire. With Reva, she was sure that she would not be judged. She would not have to pretend. They would get bored, irritated, fight or even have a difference of opinion, but this would never force her to do what pleased her friend. They would be there for each other. It suddenly struck her that Nimesh and Reva were so similar. They never judged her over anything. That really helped maintain relationships, she thought. It's so difficult to find people who weren't judgemental. She had learnt to appreciate this trait from Vikram, her mentor and friend.
Her fondness for Vikram was weird. She herself could not comprehend it. She let it be for another day. He taught her to go beyond human judgements. If nature is so flexible about everything how can we be so stringent?
She picked up the phone to dial Vikram's number. He understood her like no one else ever did.
“Yes, Ms. Dewan,” she heard his voice, warm as ever. His voice soothed her.
“You know what, Nimesh is no more.”
“What!! Are you serious?” he took a pause. “That's bad news. The death of a friend has always bad news.”
Vikram knew she was on the way to discover herself. He always saw a light in her soul. The light would never let her give up. He was a magician with a strong intuition. He had seen all there was to be noticed.
“My book is being published by Daniel Publishing House,” she broke the silence.
“That's agood news.”
“But I'm missing Nimesh a lot. I don't understand why. I don't feel excited.”
“It's obvious Maya. He was your friend and a death of a young person is always difficult.”
“He killed himself!”
“Uh! Oh! My God, Why did he? That's strange-and - sad.”
“It's making me restless Vikram. It's reminding me of my past. It's bringing to mind, even the things that didn't happen! It is making me feel guilty. I don't know why. I want to talk to him. I feel so broken right now and I don't even know how to explain this.”
“Hmmmm. That's your subconscious. Often there are thoughts that we dump in our subconscious, afraid to even think about them. A shocking situation can bring them back to the front. It's called the Trigger,” he said.
“It makes me sad. I feel we all are running in vain. Ultimately, no one is going to gain. Finally, we are all going to be dead. What's all this mess for? Why don't t I feel satisfied? Why can't I just stay?”
“This is life's maze, Maya. Everyone has to pass through to reach another level. It is like a 3-D video game. We have to grow level by level.”
“What levels, Vikram? Ultimately, all of us will die. Death is the ultimate truth. Isn't it?”
“The truth will ultimately free us from the bondage. The life force will find its way and take you to another dimension which you or anyone can't sense right now. Life throws many disappointments to us Maya; the hard way is to face them with patience.” He knew she was going through pain.
Vikram wanted to hold her at that instant. He wanted her to feel the bliss that he felt when she was around. This connection made him stay together with her even when she was not there. She was burning inside him like a flame and he was burning cause of his love for her, every moment.
“I know how it feels to lose a loved one, Maya.”
“Oh, I wasn't in love with him!”
“At one point you did Maya, maybe you didn't realise. He was close to your heart and you denied him your love.”
“No Vikram, I don't think so. I liked him, but it was not love. In fact you know how unlucky I've been in love.”
“The problem is that we as a generation are not clear about what love is. Maya, love is energy. The focus has to be right. Remember the orange circle ritual. That is the power of moment. It should give you a sense of togetherness. Your heart breaks because you lose focus. You want to cling to it and not let go. You need to search within yourself and figure out what you want. You should stop taking things for granted and learn to appreciate the reality. You wanted to write a book and be famous. You should be full of gratitude for it. Instead, now it doesn't excite you anymore. There was a time when Nimesh was there, trying to talk to you. It did not excite you enough and now you are restless. You need to live in your present, Maya. Ironically, human beings want to own love, but love wants to set us free. We are travellers in this journey of life. Don't forget the art of rejoicing special moments. Be grateful.”
She didn't agree that she took things for granted. Why would Vikram talk to her like that? There was a silence for a few seconds.
Both kept quiet.
“Maya, life is another form of death. It's about reaching the ninth and last dimension. Death is like a black hole. We need to pass through it to enter another dimension.”
“You think I take things for granted.” Maya digressed from the conversation.
“Yes, I think so!” he sighed.
“Have I ever taken you for granted?”
“Me, you always can. That's an exception,” he chuckled.
“Well, I think I'll call you later.” She sounded irritated.
Had he been too curt with her? But it was important, for she was losing focus. He knew her for so many years now. He had seen all her ups and downs. Her joys and sorrows, her sadness and exhilarations. He knew she was the one.
Everyone has a pre-defined way to go through life. Some are meant to suffer and find out their way. Suffering makes them better. It is the pleasure known only to the sufferer's heart. Maya was also chosen to suffer, endure and set her heart free finally.
The problem arises when we let the suffering stay. Our hearts are designed to let all our sufferings write a lesson and pass. That's the way to freedom. It is we who get caught in their bitterness and let them embed into us slowly. He knew she had strong faith, but it was dwindling now. It was time for her to absorb the knowledge. Faith and knowledge have to go hand in hand. It is essential to master both if one wants to enter a higher dimension and connect with the higher elements of nature.
Maya felt restless. She felt angry at herself and everybody she ever knew. She felt betrayed for she had lost her mother at a tender age and it made her feel jealous of other kids.
She felt empty. She felt as if she was being choked to death. She tried to scream, but no sound would come out. She did scream again and this time it was loud. She broke down sobbing. She lay on the bed and felt the emptiness grow in her.