NINETEEN
Kartik sometimes wondered why he was doing it. Was it really worth it? Now he had gone one step ahead and committed himself to a relationship. This was making him feel even worse. Yet he was sure since she loved him so much she would manage with all his idiosyncrasies. Kartik was too weak to handle any woman's tears, let alone Maya.
He was attracted to Maya and there was no way out now. Not that there were no other women who excited him equally, but any other woman in place of Maya would have aroused the same sentiments in him. He was not sure of marriage. He ironically was convinced this was not the right time and he was about to make a big mistake.
He made a mental note to pick up his purple shirt from the drycleaner after office.
“Please get him some tea, Maya,” her father said leading Kartik into the living room and directing him to a chair.
“So you are in love with Maya, young man.” Mr Dewan looked straight into Kartik's eyes, making him feel uncomfortable again. Why the old man doesn't understand that it was his daughter who was in love with me, Kartik thought to himself.
“Well, she loves me.”
“You don't?” Mr Dewan asked.
“Well of course, we would like to marry each other!” he managed to saywith a smile.
“What do you do?” Her father asked
“I work with Wipro Technologies. I joined it for a salaryof six lakhs per annum.”
Mr Dewan was a little hesitant. How can anyone earn so much when he was just out of college? The guy seemed to be impressive, unless he is lying about his salary, he thought.
“I think we must meet your parents.”
“Why myparents?” Kartik asked with a tone of discomfort clear in his voice. Maya walked in with tea. She sat next to her father seemingly proud to have Kartik around, knowing that her stepmother would not have expected this. She would have never thought that Maya would manage to find a guy who was well educated and earning better than all the boys she had approached as a suitable match for her daughter. “Who else?” Mr Dewan sounded a little confused.
“Meeting me should be enough. I have to marry her and I guess there is no need to involve my parents as of now. In any case, we do not plan to marry immediately. Perhaps after another three years.”
Both her parents were confused. They looked at each other and then at Maya. She was quiet. That night Mr Dewan came into her room and sat next to her.
“Do you really love this boy, beta?” he asked Maya, with warmth in hiseyes.
Did she really love him? Every time she asked herself this question the other Maya jerked her head up before she could even decide. The feeling of wanting to be loved was so strong in her that she would go to any extent for it. She wanted to live for the moment.
She was a true romantic at heart. She believed that her love won't fail her. She had the ability of giving herself in completely. Clearly, she could see that Kartik was not head over heels in love with her, but she could not get over him.
She wanted to cry and hug her father. She wanted to tell him that she was unsure. She was scared and fearful of plunging into unknown. She was weak inside wanting to be loved deeply and madly. She was yearning for meaning in life. She was putting up a brave face, though she was as lost as a lamb in a jungle. She wanted her father to hold her and guide her, but she could not express this to him.
“Of course I love him,” she tried to sound as confident as possible.
“What about him?”
“He also does.”
Sometimes maybe, her heart whispered.
She ignored the voice as usual and said nothing. Tears filled her big doubtful eyes. The last thing her father could bear would be to see her cry. He hugged her quietly, thinking of the days when they both cried together over his first wife's death. Those days when he comforted her, every day, and encourage her with for studies.
“All right, then. Your mother and I have decided that if this is what you have really wished for yourself, you can go ahead with it. Though we have our doubts, it is your choice,” he said stroking her hair.
What she didn't say was that she also had her own doubts. She was scared of the other Maya that lived inside her. She would not compromise and rest till she finds the love she was looking for.
“By the way beta does he really earn so much,” her father smiled. “Who pays him so much?” he chuckled. They laughed together.