TWENTY THREE
She suddenly woke up from her sleep one day, feeling quite uneasy. Kartik was not there. Maybe he had gone out to get some cigarettes. Lazily she sat to check her Facebook account on his laptop. Before she could even log in her password a tinkle distracted her. It was Kartik's mail box reflecting a new message. She knew it was not right to read someone else's mail, but curiosity overtook her.
She was shocked to see a mail from another woman asking him to come over for the night. She was surprised to read the trail mail where Kartik had also written romantic lines for her. She always thought Kartik was born to be unemotional. Yet the mail said quite the contrary. He could express. He could emote. He could communicate. That meant he could not emote and communicate with her and only her. She felt completely deceived.
This was her payback for lying to him. She left the laptop and came back to lie down on her bed. She knew it was all falling apart. They had never been able to reach a level of companionship. She had never been special to him. She felt everything was a lie.
Perhaps she should not have forced him to marry her. She felt the urge to vomit.
When she woke up she was in a hospital. What was happening? She blinked her eyes and tried to get up from the bed, but all she could do was unwittingly press the switch against the side of the bed.
Kartik came in.
“Hey, how are you feeling now?” He sounded concerned.
The nurse walked in after Kartik.
“Madam, your reports are in. You are pregnant.”
“What?” said Kartik, taken aback.
“What report?” asked Maya.
“Your medical test reports, madam. The doctor will come and talk to you. Also, we need to put you on a drip. Some glucose is what the doctor has recommended.”
She came near her and injected needle in her hand. She connected the injection with a glucose bottle hanging on the iron stand. The glucose entered her body drop by drop. She didn't know whether to be happy or sad on hearing the news.
'Are you married?” the nurse asked her.
“Yes!” she replied slowly.
“Aren't you happy? I won't take less than a five hundred rupee tip for the news,” she said, as she left the room. Kartik looked bothered. They both kept quiet for some time.
“Maya, I told you!”
“What does that look mean? You think I injected your semen into myself?”
“We can't have this child, Maya,” he finally broke the uncomfortable silence.
“I thought you'd be happy!” she said.
“I would have been, but this is not the time. I can't afford a child right now, Maya. You know that. We talked about it already.”
“It is here now,” she said. “We should have been more careful.”
“Please don't overreact. We are too young. I don't think I can take the responsibility of a child.”
“I will!”
“I don't trust you.”
She looked at him with eyes full of hurt.
“You don't trust me?”
“Maya, you've got to choose. Either you get to live with me or with the child. I can't deal with this.” He turned around and left the room. Maya closed her eyes. Don't give up little one. She heard the voice in her mind.
She was discharged by the evening. She came home and slept. She was feeling a little weak and had no energy to fight or argue. She thought about the future she was having to offer to the unborn child.
A marriage where love was dying, and trust and respect were dead.
The next day she told Kartik to book for an abortion. He seemed relieved and did so without any delay.
“Are you sure you don't want the child?” asked the doctor. She nodded.
“I wonder why educated young people like you don't use precautions when you are not sure. This is bad for your body also. Your generation takes all this too lightly.”
The words pricked the other Maya even more than they did harm her. The other Maya wanted to be a mother. She wanted a child, a replica of herself who she thought will bring immense love in her life. Maya loathed Kartik at that moment for putting her through this. She felt terrible with the choices she made in her life.
“Thank God! you are safe and it's over,” Kartik said when he saw her after the operation. Everything had changed. Everything seemed to be over.