24
Will we Make It?
NEHA. THE NAME THAT DID NOT ALLOW ME TO SLEEP nights.
True, my engineering degree was in the dumps. True, we probably pointlessly slaved in Prof Veera’s lab mixing one type of grease with another all day. True, I may get expletives in my grade sheet that would prevent me from getting a decent job. However, none of these bothered me enough to cause insomnia. In fact, the four months off were great to catch up on sleep. But the one person whose voice, smell, image, feelings crept up next to me at night and made sleep impossible was Neha.
I tried calling her on an eleventh. She hung up in two minutes, telling me she never expected me to be like this. I guess for someone she called a loafer, she had pretty high expectations.
I had called right back, trying to explain in vain how the whole idea was not mine, and it was stupid for me to fall for it.
“You used me Hari. Like all men, you used me,” she said. Like all men? How many men had she been with anyway, I thought. What has she been reading these days, some Femina-Cosmo crap?
I was just trying to sneak out a major paper. Okay, it was pretty sick of me to duplicate the keys – but I did it only because it was convenient. Ryan would have found another way in any case. I tried telling her that, but she was like ‘you men just don’t get it, do you?’ I thought she wasn’t getting it either, but I still loved her like mad.
“And you told the Disco I gave you the keys? I Hari? You know Dad still believes that?”
Wow, I was kind of glad Cherian believed it. How would Neha understand? If they knew we had duplicated the keys, we would have resembled those real criminals. We probably were real criminals. But that was not the point. Man, why is it so hard to explain stuff to girls. Can’t she just get on with it? Should I say something dumb that she wants to hear?
“Neha, I know I did all those things. But at one level, it wasn’t me. It wasn’t your Hari,” I said. Obviously, I made no sense. But that is the thing with girls. Give them confusing crap and they fall for it.
“Then why Hari? Why?”
“I don’t know. Can I just meet you once?” I said.
“No way. We are through.”
She hung up after that and took her phone off the hook for the rest of the day. It meant I had to wait another month, or suffer another thirty sleepless nights.
Then the next eleventh came around, and I couldn’t wait to make that call.
Woke up at ten the next morning. The eleventh finally, I told myself and left my room immediately. I had to make my call fast and think up really good lines this time. I was on my way downstairs when I noticed an elderly lady come up. Probably someone’s parent, I thought even as I couldn’t help thinking she looked familiar. Then it struck me – Alok’s mom.
“Hello Aunty. It is me, Hari,” I said.
“Oh hello Hari beta. Where have you all been? I had to come to the hostel because Alok hasn’t been home for two months. Is he all right?” she asked, breathing heavily.
“Huh? Alok is fine Aunty. Must have been busy with the project,” I said, thinking of a way to prevent her from meeting Alok.
“Uncle is downstairs in an auto. Call him quickly, we are all worried for him,” she said.
“Yes Aunty sure,” I said as I ran up. Alok was sitting on his bed, reading a magazine and eating chips.
Ryan sat next to him, a porno mag in hand, his cigarette filling Alok’s room with smoke.
“Are you guys nuts? Smoking and porn early morning,” I tut-tutted.
“What are you so worked up about? Why not do the best things when one is still fresh,” Ryan said.
“Alok, your parents are here,” I said.
“What?” Alok said as the chips in his hands fell.
“Yes, your mom is climbing the stairs. She sounds mad and worried you didn’t call.”
“You mean she is coming here?” Alok said, waving his hands to get rid of the cigarette smoke.
“Yes, and I think she is going to see your broken bones now.”
“Fuck,” Alok said.
“Just stay in bed. We’ll cover your legs with sheets,” Ryan said, stuffing the porno under Alok’s mattress.
“Can’t. His dad is downstairs waiting to see his only son,” I said and dug into the chips. It was fun to see these two guys worked up now.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” Alok said, trying to arrange his pillows.
“And I think you should keep the curses down,” I said.
Alok’s mom knocked about a minute later. It is amazing how much can get done in a minute. Ryan threw out the ashtrays, pornos and vodka bottles. He also arranged the course books and assignments on the study table. All dirty clothes stayed hidden in an overstuffed cupboard.
“Hello Mom. What a pleasant surprise,” Alok said.
“Alok. I am not talking to you. You have completely forgotten us,” Alok’s mom said as she put boxes of sweets on the study table. I wondered if it was okay for us to strike at them now.
“I was busy,” Alok said.
“Shut up. Two months have passed. You haven’t called since that day you called about Dad and Didi’s proposal. What happened? You don’t want to talk about our problems?”
“No Mom. It is just this assignment for Prof Veera. It keeps us so busy,” Alok said.
“My son works too hard,” Alok’s mom said looking at me and Ryan, “You guys should take a break now and then. After all, your jobs are just a semester away,” she said.
Ryan and I smiled, continuing to stare at the boxes of food. Please Aunty, offer them once.
“Alok, you must come home next weekend. Look, even Dad had to come all the way in an auto,” she said.
“You took an auto! It is seventy rupees,” Alok said.
“So what to do with Dad? And after all, my son will be working soon,” Alok’s mom said, “and Hari, why don’t you have some laddoos I made.”
Ryan and I jumped on the boxes before she finished her sentence.
“Mom but still,” Alok said.
“Keep quiet. Look Didi also sent this new pair of jeans for you. She saved her pocket money you know,” she said, passing a brown bag.
“Thanks Mom. I’ll keep it for a special occasion,” Alok said.
“But at least try it now. Come get up,” Alok’s mom said.
“No Mom. I’ll do it later,” Alok said.
“What later? We can change size now if it doesn’t fit. Don’t be lazy get up,” Alok’s mom said, shaking Alok’s leg. I am sure that hurt.
“No Mom,” Alok said, clenching his teeth.
“Get up,” Alok’s mom insisted, pulling the bed sheet off him. She shouldn’t have. For Alok still had the signs – plaster casts covered both thighs and legs. The feet still showed marks where doctors had done the stitches. It was something even we didn’t fancy seeing.
“Oh my god,” Alok’s mom said as her face dropped along with her hands. “Mom please,” Alok said, pushing her away and wishing she had never come.
Alok’s mom felt nauseous and Ryan had to help support her back to a chair. I gave her a glass of water.
“What is going on? Will someone please tell me?” she said.
Ryan looked at me. It was time for us to leave the room.
“We’ll go downstairs. We’ll say hello to Uncle and say Alok is in the lab. Okay Aunty?”
She nodded, her eyes filling with tears. Could any male in her family stand up on his own legs?
“Easy Mom. It was a scooter accident that night…” Alok said as we shut the door behind them. I was sure she’d know he was lying. A scooter accident with Ryan and me perfectly fine was somewhat unbelievable. We saw her leave after half an hour, wiping her tears. We stood by the auto, trying to make conversation with Alok’s dad. He was in a happy mood, probably enjoying his rare day out.
“Alok busy eh?” he said, pursing his lips.
“Yes. They have an important project,” Alok’s mom said, sitting in the auto.
“Bye Aunty,” Ryan and I waved.
“Back to Rohini madam?” the auto driver said, starting the scooter.
“No. Take me to the Mechanical Engineering department.”
“Aunty?” we chorused.
“There are things which a mother can sense, even though her son may not talk about it. I want to meet your Prof Veera before I go home,” she said as the auto buzzed off.
“She’ll find out. She’ll find out about the Disco,” I said, shaking Ryan’s shoulder.
“Let her. She deserves it,” Ryan said as he put his arm around me.
We went to Sasi’s for breakfast after Alok’s mom left.
“I have to make my call today,” I said.
“Is she real mad at you?” Ryan said.
“She was a month ago. She’s got to miss me right?” I said.
“I don’t know. What is the whole deal about missing people and not doing anything about it anyway?” Ryan said, and took out a brown envelope from his jeans pocket.
Sasi served a plate of paranthas. Ryan left the letter on the table and started tearing up the hot paranthas.
“It is so different when you come and eat here without Alok. There is no frantic urgency about eating,” Ryan said.
“Is that a letter from home?” I said.
“If you say so. Where are they now – LA or something,” Ryan said.
“How often do your parents write?” I said.
“Used to be every week, then once in two weeks. Now they write once a month,” Ryan said, smothering each chunk of parantha with yellow butter.
“Do you write back?” I said.
“No. Not unless it is a couriered letter. In that case the delivery guy asks me to write a few lines right there.”
“So what is the deal here Ryan? I mean, they are just abroad trying to make a buck. What have you got against them?”
“I have nothing against them. I am just indifferent. I need another parantha.”
“Shut up. How can that be? I mean, how come you save all their letters? I saw them, hundreds next to your vodka stash.”
Ryan stopped chewing. “It is too complicated. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You won’t talk to me?”
“They are too strange. I kept telling them let us stay together after my boarding school. But the international business was really taking off then and they had to leave. I guess what I wanted was never in the picture. So, okay I get the dollar cheque, thank you. But spare me the we-miss-you shit. If you do, what the hell are you going to do about it?”
“Did you tell them about the Disco?” I said.
“Are you crazy?” Ryan said.
“You know, you could join their business after IIT. I mean, you know what our job scene will be. But you won’t have to worry.”
“No way in hell,” Ryan said, and clenched his hands. “Never. I will open a parantha shop, become a coolie, wash cars but I am not going to go to them.”
“They are your parents…”
He gave me a dirty look. “So thank you very much. I am going back to Alok. You have a good time with your girl.”
“Ryan, could you give up your lube project right when it was about to become successful?” I said.
“What?”
“Answer me,” I said.
“That is the only good thing I ever did in IIT. It is my passion, my sweat, and my belief. No, how could I give it up?”
“Maybe this pottery business is your parents’ lube project,” I said as I stood up too.
He picked up his letter again and walked away.
“Reply to it Ryan,” I shouted across the road.
He put the letter back in his pocket.
“Neha, is that you?” I said, even though I was a hundred percent sure it was.
“Hari?” she said, her voice unable to hide the fact that she was expecting this call.
“Before you hang up, can I just say something?” I was suitably humble.
“I am not hanging up. What do you want to say?” she said.
“I miss you. And I love you. God, I was so close to you and then I blew it up. I wanted an A in your dad’s course. I thought I could impress him. Somehow, in our twisted minds we planned this Operation Pendulum. And they did a Disco on us, ruined our lives. And now you also don’t want to talk to me…” My voice dwindled to a whisper.
“Hari?”
“What?”
“I missed you too.” She broke into tears.
I wished I could cry too. But her words made me too happy. I mentally hi-fived myself and tried to control my elation. Keep serious tone, keep serious tone, I told myself.
“Oh Neha, don’t cry,” I said, probably to make her cr y a bit more. I can’t tell you how good it feels when a girl cries because she missed you.
“I can’t Hari. I can’t forget you. Why did you do those things?” she said.
Okay, this is progress, I thought. From ‘how could you’ to ‘why did you’ is not bad. Twisted they may be, but I did have my reasons. And I didn’t have to give them all now.
“I can explain more. Can we meet? Just for ten minutes,” I said.
“Should we? I mean, Dad made me swear I’d never see you,” she said.
Now how does one answer that? I tried to think of some rational premise on which swears to dad could be broken. Nothing came to mind.
“I miss you, Neha,” I said. When in doubt, be sappy.
“I miss you too. Can you come to the ice-cream parlour at two,” she said.
“Sure. But on one condition,” I said.
“What?”
“Can we not have strawberry this time? I like chocolate more,” I said.
“Shut up, Hari,” she said, unable to hide a laugh. There, I had done it. Tears to titters in one call. Plus, a tiny date thrown in too. I did a mini jig at the public phone booth, which made the other customers in the shop think I had won a lottery.
“See you then,” I said and hung up the phone. I heard the coin go in. What a wonderful way to spend a rupee.
Neha stayed at the ice-cream parlour for two hours, twelve times more than the ten minutes she had come for. By the end, I’d told her everything. She couldn’t really remain upset for too long. I guess it could be because I bought strawberry as well as chocolate, but maybe it was because she was just happy to see me. We fixed the next date for a week later, and soon we were back in the ‘fix the next date on the previous’ cycle. It helped me pass all the idle time in the dropped semester. We worked eight hours a day in Prof Veera’s lab, sometimes ten or twelve. Ryan worked longer, even up to sixteen. He ripped open his scooter for experimentation, making it a pain to move around in the insti. Alok used crutches for a month and then got by with a limp. Prof Veera liked the second proposal a lot, and he kept informing the Dean of the progress we were making. He never brought up the issue of a clean grade sheet or extra credits, but we knew there was little chance until we finished the proposal. We gave the final draft to Prof Veera one week before the semester ended. It was two hundred pages, and from Ryan, Alok and I this time.
“Wow. This is a fat proposal,” Prof Veera said.
“It’s literally the whole study. We have isolated the optimum mix already,” Ryan said.
“I know. This is way beyond a proposal,” Prof Veera said as he flipped through the pages, “I cannot believe the four months are over.”
“Me neither. I guess it will be time to attend classes again,” I said.
“And loads of them. Maximum credits this time, and I am not skipping any more,” Alok said.
“Me neither, right Ryan?” I said.
“Yeah. I’ll come along as well,” Ryan said, “So Prof Veera, what do we do with this tome now?”
“Well,” Prof Veera said, putting the proposal on his desk, “let me take a final read and unless there are big corrections, I’ll just submit it. Good job and take your week off before your loaded semester begins.”
“And the credit and grade sheet, sir,” Alok prompted.
“Later guys. It depends on the reception to the proposal. Don’t be too optimistic, but we shall see,” Prof Veera said.
We left his office, leaving our work of three months. It could get us nowhere, but we had given it our best shot. The final sem began on Jan 5, just a week from now. And six days later, on the eleventh, was my big date with Neha, when she would be free for the whole day. If she would let me come to her home again, I thought.