CHAPTER NINE
Manda rushed into the reception area of FM-102 and introduced herself to the two young women sitting behind the wide, boomerang-shaped desk.
“You’re Sistah Britain’s sister?” one of the women said. She put down the stack of mail she had been sorting and stood up and grasped Manda’s hand. She was a tiny thing, with two long braids framing her small face. She looked like a ten-year-old.
“I’m Tamako. Sistah Britain is sooo cool,” she continued.
“Yes, she’s a blast,” Manda said. “Can you tell Sistah…Sierra I need to see her right away? It’s a bit of an emergency.”
“Of course. I’ll go get her.” Tamako turned and hurried over to a door at the back of the room. She punched in a code on the security pad, pushed open the door and disappeared inside.
Manda glanced down at her watch. It was already five minutes to two. Sierra was scheduled to be on the air in a few minutes. Manda had rushed there, hoping to catch her before then. She sat down in one of the soft purple chairs that decorated the waiting area. The walls showed off the large framed posters of the station’s radio personalities. There was Sierra’s poster, across from the man who came on the air at night, and on another wall was the poster of the deep-voiced woman who was usually on in the mornings when Manda got up.
Tamako was back in a flash. “I’m sorry, she wants to know what’s your emergency,” she said, looking sheepish.
Manda frowned in embarrassment. She didn’t want to have to tell this woman her business. “Tell her I’ve lost my keys. I can’t get in her flat.”
Tamako nodded and rushed off again. Manda put her bag on her lap and started to root through the different compartments for the fiftieth time. She didn’t understand how she could have lost her keys. She had always been very, very careful. But it was the news from London that had thrown her off balance. She had rang Sherrie’s number and had gotten happy, yet sad news. Her husband picked up the phone and said that Sherrie was in the hospital. She had delivered a baby girl the day before.
“What?” Manda had said. “But she’s too early.”
The baby had arrived early and taken everyone by surprise. She would have to stay in the hospital for a bit. Manda had then rang Sherrie at the hospital to congratulate her, but had burst out crying on the phone. She had promised her friend she would be there for the birth. She was the closest thing Sherrie had to a sister, and her friend had needed her. But Manda had failed her. It was no wonder she had lost her keys. She had been so upset. And what with seeing ghosts and visions, visiting an Obeah man, worrying about Sierra and everyone else, and not to mention the hell Daniel had put her through lately, and now the surprise arrival of Sherrie’s baby…it was a wonder she hadn’t lost her bloody mind, let alone the keys. She remembered locking the door and dropping the keys in the same zippered pocket in her bag where she always kept them. But when she returned home and reached for the keys, they were gone.
Manda looked up to see Nik hurrying through the door with Tamako following close behind him. He had his mobile phone pressed against his ear.
“Mike, that wasn’t the deal we had,” Nik said to the person on the other end of his phone. He gave Manda a distracted hug as she stood up.
“Where’s Sierra?” she asked him.
“Sierra can’t come out. She’s about to go on the air,” he whispered.
“But I need-.”
“Don’t worry.” Nik dangled a set of keys before her. “You can borrow mine. But don’t lose them. No, not you, Mike,” he said to the person.
“Nik-.”
“Gotta go, Manda. We’ll see you later. I made you that cheese lasagna you’ve been asking for.”
“Well…thanks,” Manda said, then remembered she hadn’t been asking for cheese lasagna. He had just been promising to make her one since she arrived. She watched him disappear through the door again, still in conversation. She knew Sierra could have spared a moment to come out if she wanted to. She had been very cool with Manda ever since she had put her on the phone with their mother. It had been a spur of the moment decision on Manda’s part, and now she regretted it. She had hoped it might be the first step in getting Sierra and Myrna to at least say a few words to each other. But she hadn’t expected Sierra to get so angry. And then when she had mentioned the brooch, it had only made things worse. She had gone about everything the wrong way. Tonight when Sierra got home, Manda would apologize to her again. The last thing she wanted was to cause a rift between her and her sister. A rift could turn into a gap and a gap could turn into an abyss that might separate them forever. She had already seen it happen between Sierra and their parents.
Manda pushed Nik’s keys down into her bag and zipped the pocket up carefully. Tamako tapped her on the shoulder as she turned to go.
“Don’t you want to stay and listen to your sister?” she asked. “I can take you back there if you want.”
“No thanks, I’ll listen from home,” Manda said.
“Okay.” Tamako shrugged her tiny shoulders and headed back to the desk.
Later, Manda would wish she had stayed.
It was the radio that first made Manda realize something was wrong. She had arrived home just after four o’clock after stopping at Macy’s to buy a baby gift for Sherrie. While she fitted the gift in a box and wrote a tearful card to Sherrie saying how sorry she was for missing the birth, she turned on the radio to listen to Sierra’s show. Sierra was in the middle of promoting a contest the station was having. The winner would get an all-expenses-paid vacation for two to Bermuda. After twenty minutes of listening, the subject of Obeah hadn’t come up, and Manda crossed her fingers, hoping it never would. But of course it was too much to ask.
A woman called in to ask Sierra if she had found out yet who was sending her the chicken-feather letters. The mysterious letters had drawn more interest from listeners, who were following the saga like a soap opera, and Sierra was glad to provide them with updates.
“Sierra, drop it,” Manda said out loud to the radio. But as usual, Sierra kept going.
“I can’t prove it yet,” Sierra said. “But I think I know who it is. It’s someone who’s very much into that Obeah-.”
There was a popping noise and the radio went silent. Manda got up and pressed the power button, but the radio was dead. She looked around the room and noticed that the times on the DVD player and the cable box had both disappeared. Manda flicked a light switch up and down, but nothing happened. She tried to ring Angie, but a message came on saying the phone lines were busy and to try again later. She then tried Sierra at the station next, and got the same message. She sat down with the telephone beside her. It was a power failure, and there was nothing to do but wait until the power came back on. For a moment she wondered if this was Obeah at work, but then dismissed the thought as just paranoia. No Obeah person could be that powerful. But it was strange though, how it had happened right when Sierra had said the word Obeah.
Manda finished up her note to Sherrie and put it in the box with the gift. When she was finished, she went around the flat, cleaning everything in sight to distract herself. Over the next two hours she kept trying to reach Sierra, but she still couldn’t get through. She started to feel worried. Darkness was only a couple hours or so away. What if night arrived before the blackout was over, and Sierra still wasn’t home? The last thing she wanted was to be alone in the dark. Just the thought of it made her shudder.
Alright. There’s no time to panic, Manda told herself. She just had to prepare while there was still light. And as long as she was prepared, there was no need to fear the dark. She would need candles. Candles and flashlights. She searched the flat and found the pink rose-shaped floating candle in the bathroom that Sierra liked to use in her baths. In Sierra’s bedroom, she found another candle and a folder of matches, but no flashlight.
By eight o’clock, the electricity was still out and the telephone wasn’t working. Manda went to the window and glanced up and down the street. The sky was beginning to darken as the city moved towards sunset. Down at the corner, even the neon sign in the window of the Japanese restaurant was still out. It was usually glowing red by now. Manda felt the first real pang of nerves in her stomach as she watched three people pass by on the sidewalk, swinging flashlights in their hands. The first shadows had started to form in the living room. She took the matches and lit the two candles. As darkness swelled around her, the candlelight grew smaller and fainter. Two little candles really were no match for the dark. She needed more light. She would go down to the shops and buy whatever candles she could find, and place them around the whole flat. She hoped a shop would still be open.
Manda picked up the larger candle. Her purse was on a chair in her bedroom. She wished she had left it in the living room, like she often did. As she entered the hall that led to the room, she felt a puff of wind on her arm and the candlelight went out, leaving her in blackness. She let out a frightened gasp.
“It’s just the wind”, she said, half-laughing at herself, as if she was trying to calm a child. “Don’t panic. Just go back and get the other candle.”
She got the second candle and headed back to the hall. But just as she reached her bedroom door, she heard a sound coming from the end of the hall by the bathroom. A soft shuffling noise, like the sound of bed slippers moving along a floor. She felt a chill and the little hairs on her arms stood at attention. She stayed frozen in place, hardly breathing. The shuffling grew louder, as if someone was moving towards her. She peered beyond the tiny candlelight, but saw only shadowy corners. She took a step backwards and the candlelight went out. The hall was now completely black. Manda’s heart battered against her chest. She pressed her back to the wall. She strained her ears to the dark, but heard nothing.
Calm down, she scolded herself. Maybe it was nothing. Only…only…. The shuffling noise started up again, closer than ever now. She felt a light breath against her face, followed by a low murmur. Dar. Manda put her hand over her mouth to keep from screaming. Dar was there. In the darkness with her. She’s gonna get me, she thought. I have to get out of here. But at first she couldn’t move, just like in her worst nightmares. She stayed pressed up against the wall, standing as still as possible. Until something squeezed her left shoulder, and that was it. Manda jumped and screamed. She dropped the candle and ran back into the dark living room, not caring that she couldn’t see where she was going. The front door was somewhere off to the right. She ran blindly at it, her arms outstretched. When her hands smacked against the door, she fumbled with the lock and bolted into the hallway. There were no lights here either, but she rushed for the stairs. All she wanted to do was get outside where there were people. But she was moving so fast, by the time she saw the small circle of a flashlight beam appear at the top of the steps, it was too late to stop herself. She slammed right into someone who had just arrived on the landing. She heard a yelp, followed by a clattering and banging as the person went tumbling back down the steps. There was a loud thud, then silence.
“Oh, my gosh.” Manda stood at the top of the stairs, staring down into the dark.
“Aaaaah,” the person moaned in pain. It was a man’s voice.
“Who’s that?” she said, stepping forward in the dark.
The man only moaned again. Whoever it was, she had to get to him. She felt for the banister and made her way down the steps to the next landing. She could barely make out the man, sprawled in the shadows beside the beam from a small flashlight.
“Are you alright?” Manda bent down and picked up the flashlight. She shined it in the man’s face. “Noah!”
“I think I broke my foot,” Noah said, blinking against the light.
“Oh, Noah, I’m so sorry.” Why were they always meeting like this? “Okay, don’t move.” She squatted down beside him.
“It’s…it’s the right one,” he said.
Manda gently pulled up his trouser leg and shined the light on his foot. He was wearing dark socks and black dress shoes. She would have to take them off to get a look at his foot.
“Alright, I’m going to help you back to your flat. Just put your weight on me, and try not to move your foot.”
Noah groaned. “I was just coming up to see if you needed anything,” he said. “Why were you rushing like that?”
“I…I was going to buy candles,” Manda lied. Although it was partly true. She couldn’t tell him what she had heard and felt in the hall. He would be certain she had lost her mind – especially after what had happened during their drive to Queens.
They made their way over to Noah’s door, one slow step at a time. He held on to her with one arm, and used the other arm to balance himself against the wall. Manda kept her arm firmly wrapped around his waist. She could feel his warm, crushing weight pushing against her. When they had almost reached the door, his flashlight slipped from her free hand and clattered down the steps that led to the main landing. The beam disappeared, leaving them in the dark.
“Bugger,” Manda said.
She left Noah leaning on the wall and fumbled her way, bum-first, down the steps. She felt around the landing, her palm sliding over grit and something cool and wet, until she touched the hard plastic casing of the flashlight. She pressed the button, but it seemed to be broken. She dog-scrambled back up the steps to Noah.
When they got to Noah’s door, Manda helped him inside and into his living room. Two large white candles cast flickering shadows around the room from their place in the middle of the coffee table. She led him over to the couch, and he fell back on it with a loud groan. She cleared some space on the coffee table and slowly eased his foot up, then pulled off his shoe. Then she slid off his sock and balled it up.
“Can you wriggle your toes?” she asked him.
Noah tried to move his toes, but couldn’t.
“I think your ankle might be fractured. Do you have a bandage? I can make you a temporary cast.”
“No, I don’t,” Noah said. “But don’t worry, I’ll be fine now.”
“Fine? Sitting here in the dark with a fractured foot?”
“I think I can get around.” Noah tried to move his leg. He howled so loud, Manda had to press her palms to her ears.
“Aw, crap that hurts,” he said.
“Have you got any pain tablets?”
“I don’t use pills,” Noah said, through gritted teeth. “Pain is psychological.”
“What do you do when you’re in pain then? Just sit there and suffer?”
“No, I hum commercial jingles and tell myself it’s not there,” Noah said. “And before I know it, the pain is gone.”
“You’re joking.”
Noah closed his eyes and started to hum.
“Then go ahead and hum,” Manda said, getting up. “Do you have anything cold to drink?” Her throat felt like sandpaper.
“Yes, there’s water in the fridge,” he said.
While Noah sat there humming his jingles, Manda took a candle into the kitchen and poured them both some water. She felt ashamed of herself for running out of the flat in such a blind panic. Now she had knocked Noah down the steps for the second time. Because of her, he was sitting there in pain, humming silly jingles.
She brought the water back to the living room, along with a dishcloth that she used as a temporary bandage for Noah’s foot. He said he was feeling a little better. She sat beside him on the chair, the two of them drinking their waters quietly. She thought about what had happened in Sierra’s dark flat. She was glad to be out of there, and glad to be with Noah in his flat.
Manda stared at a flame and remembered her wedding eve, when Sherrie had set up the living room with candles to help her meditate. It seemed like a thousand years ago, yet Manda felt that same bewildered ache she always felt whenever that night came to mind. She gazed around the room, peering at Noah’s things, trying to bring her mind back to the present. Standing against two opposite walls were floor-to-ceiling bookcases crammed tight with books. She could make out many self-improvement and spirituality titles among them, along with books about various cultures. Sitting in a corner of a bookshelf, with its legs hanging down, was a doll that looked just like Noah. It was long and thin, with dark curly hair and gray almond-shaped eyes.
“Sierra gave you a doll?” Manda said, pointing at it.
Noah nodded. “It’s your sister’s official way of saying I love you,” Noah said, smiling. “When she has a doll made in your image.”
“I didn’t know the two of you were that close,” Manda said.
Noah pulled off his shirt. “It’s boiling hot in here,” he said. He picked up a magazine and started to fan himself.
Manda glanced at him sideways. His stomach was flat like a teenaged boy’s, and there was only a smattering of damp, dark hairs on his chest. He was slim-bodied, but toned like an athlete. Daniel, on the other hand, had a soft little stomach that never got any firmer, no matter how many sit-ups he did.
“Are you hot?” Noah asked her.
Manda fanned herself with her hand and nodded. “Maybe I should open a window,” she said. She sprang to her feet and went across the room to a window. She pushed it up halfway and felt the slightest night breeze cooling her face. She closed her eyes and let herself enjoy it for a moment.
As she was on her way back to the couch, she noticed a large antique radio, sitting in one corner of the room. Manda caught her breath. She went over to take a closer look. It was an austere thing, built of solid reddish-brown wood, and hailing from back in the days when radios were made to look like furniture. There were ivory-colored buttons on the face that could be pushed to tune in to different stations that she was sure no longer existed. The names of places like London, Rome, Berlin and Australia were printed along the band.
“Where did you get this?” she asked, stroking the smooth wood.
“The radio? It belonged to my grandfather,” Noah said. He seemed to welcome the distraction. He told her that during World War II, his grandfather used to follow broadcasts about the war on that radio, and that was how he had found out the Japanese were being rounded up and forced into camps. “Unfortunately he landed in one before he could escape,” Noah said. “When he died, the radio was the only thing I wanted, because it reminded me so much of him. Even the smell reminds me of him.”
“It’s beautiful,” Manda said, fiddling with the knobs. “It’s too bad there’s no electricity. I’d love to hear it.”
“Maybe when the blackout is over you can come back and listen to it with me,” Noah said.
“Perhaps,” Manda said, leaving the radio and edging back over to the couch. She sat down beside Noah. “Were you and your grandfather very close?”
“We were,” Noah said. “When I was a kid, I used to spend my summers with him and I would sit for hours and listen to stories about his childhood in Japan. One summer he took me back to Japan with him so he could show me the places he always talked about. It was the most amazing trip of my life. I was his only grandchild, so you can imagine how much he spoiled me. I think I loved him more than my own father.” Noah looked at the radio, and there was sadness in his gaze.
“And all I got when my grandmother died was her favorite pink nightgown, and it was about seven sizes too big,” Manda said. “I thought about reshaping it into something I could fit into, but I couldn’t bring myself to cut it.”
“I also respect old things,” Noah said. ”My furniture is mostly antique and my computer was made in 1999, which definitely makes it an antique.”
Manda looked over at the radio again. “Daniel didn’t like antiques,” she said. “He said they depressed him, because the people who once treasured them were now dead and gone.”
“But that’s the beauty of antiques,” Noah said. “They connect us to lives that were lived before ours. In a way, part of their owners survive through them.”
“I think so too.”
“Manda,” Noah said, shifting in the chair to face her. “What went wrong with you and Daniel?”
This time, Manda didn’t back away from his question. Half of New York already knew her business, thanks to Sierra. “Well, nothing really,” she said. “Nothing went wrong with us. Everything was perfect, and he was just as excited about getting married as I was. He was the one who chose what flowers we would have in the church, and he even had us write our own vows. Then the night before the wedding, he just…fell apart. At first I thought it was cold feet, but it was more than that.”
“What do you think it was?”
Manda looked into Noah’s eyes. “I think it was fate.”
“Fate?”
“Yes, fate wasn’t on our side. Daniel couldn’t help himself.” She picked up a cushion and hugged it. She wanted to tell him about the Obeah curse, but he would think she was ridiculous. He didn’t seem like the kind of person who believed in curses. She hadn’t been that kind of person either, but what she thought she knew about life…about herself…had been snatched from her only weeks before. “We were up against something much bigger than us, and Daniel couldn’t handle it,” she told Noah.
“I don’t think fate is ever against us,” he responded.
Manda gave him a serious look. “So do you think fate was for you, when you happened to be coming up the steps just when I was coming down? Do you think fate pushed me into you and injured you as a favor?”
“Actually, I do,” Noah said. “It’s brought us here together now, hasn’t it?”
Manda looked away.
“Manda, everything happens for an ultimately good purpose. You’ve got to have more faith, or you might miss out on some very good things. Some very good people.”
“And how about you? You’re handsome, and you’ve got a great career. So why are you alone?”
“Well, I’ve been in several relationships that didn’t work out. Sometimes it was my fault, but most of the time we were both to blame. And that’s as complicated as it gets.”
“But aren’t you afraid…worried about ending up alone.”
“No, I’m not. Unlike most people, the thought doesn’t frighten me. Because if that happens, then there would be a good reason for it, and it would be the best possible outcome for my life.”
Blimey, how could he be so stoical? There he was, nursing a fractured foot that must have been painful, and still he managed to have a pristine, one-with-the-universe look on his face.
“Well, you might not mind ending up alone, but I do. Growing old alone can make you go batty. Have you ever heard of Diogenes Syndrome? People start doing bizarre things like collecting dozens of cats, or they stop taking baths. So, yes, the thought of ending up alone frightens me, scares me right down to the knickers. And if that makes me human, then fine. I’m human.” Manda paused and glanced at him.
Noah’s smile was gone. She had hit a nerve. But he looked so serious as he sat gazing at the candle flame, that her feeling of victory was short-lived. Had she been too hard on him?
“I was afraid of death once,” Noah said suddenly.
“You were?” Manda gave him an incredulous look.
He nodded and looked at her. “Eleven years ago, I started getting terrible headaches. I was completing my doctorate at the time, and I thought it was because I was studying too hard. So at first I tried to just deal with them, but one day I passed out in class and they rushed me to the hospital. The doctors discovered I had a brain tumor - a massive one, in a spot that would make it hard for them to operate.”
“Noah, I’m so sorry.” Manda put a hand on his shoulder.
“They tried to make me face reality,” Noah continued. “The survival rate was very low, only about ten percent, and I wasn’t expected to live for even four months. I couldn’t believe it. I thought, how could something like that happen to me? I was strong and healthy, I ate right, took great care of my health…and now I was dying? I was terrified. How was I supposed to fight this thing? But my grandfather was still alive then, and he said, ‘Noah, don’t fight against dying. Make peace with living. You know what I think the difference is between the ninety percent who die and the ten percent who live? Most put their faith in the doctors’ words. They expect the worst outcome, and they become afraid and the fear feeds the disease. But a few put their faith in something else. They put their faith in surviving, and it works like a medicine. You have to be like that ten percent.’
“And so I listened to my grandfather,” Noah continued. “What else did I have to lose? Believe me, it was hard at first, especially after I had the operation. But the less fearful I got, the stronger I felt. Soon I started living like I had fifty more good years ahead of me. There were goals I still wanted to accomplish, and I put my faith in being alive and well. And it worked. It’s been years, and the tumor is gone and I’m even healthier than I was before. On the inside and the out.”
Manda swallowed the lump in her throat. “When you’ve been through something like that and survived, it must be hard to fear much else,” she said. “I think you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. No wonder Sierra admires you so much.”
Noah put his hand against her cheek. “What Daniel put you through…a lot of people would have gone over a bridge. But look at you. You’re resilient…beautiful.” He rested his forehead against hers.
“Am I?” she asked. She didn’t feel resilient, and she hadn’t felt very beautiful lately.
Noah leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers. Before she could stop herself, she was kissing him back, sucking at his warm mouth, breathing in his breath until she felt a painful cramp in her chest.
What am I doing? Manda pulled away from him. “I…I need to get back upstairs,” she said. She stood up, her heart pounding.
Noah cleared his throat. “Manda…” He reached out to touch her hand, but she pulled it away.
She turned and stumble-walked across the room, feeling tipsy and light-headed. Just as she reached the hallway that led to his door, she remembered the hand that had gripped her shoulder in the dark. The last thing she wanted was to go back to the flat alone. But she couldn’t stay here either. “Can I borrow a candle?” she asked.
“Go ahead,” she heard Noah say. She took a candle from the little table by his door, and followed its small halo of light back up the steps. Back in the flat, she put the candle on the coffee table and curled up on the couch.
You’ve really done it, haven’t you? She scolded herself. You’ve let things get out of hand. She saw Daniel’s face in her mind. There had been so much between them. Now she owed it to him, and to herself, to try to recover what they had lost. To try and undo what fate had done. Didn’t she? Soon she would have to return to her life in England. Where would Noah fit into things? She lay on the couch, staring into the shadows of the living room.
A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door. Sierra. She must have finally made it home. Manda picked up the candle and bounded across the room. She pulled the door open, expecting to see Sierra. But it was Noah, standing there in the hall, using a broomstick for a crutch and holding the doorframe with the other hand.
“Noah, what are you…you shouldn’t be climbing stairs in the dark,” she said.
Noah dropped the broom. He stretched an arm towards her and Manda put down the candle and reached for him, afraid he would fall. As they held on to each other, Noah kissed her again. This time she didn’t resist. It felt too good. His kiss was all heat and light.
“Can I come in?” Noah whispered, pausing for a moment.
“Um, alright,” Manda said softly. Her voice was almost gone. “But you’ll have to behave yourself.”
“I will,” Noah said, grinning. “I promise.”
She led him into the flat and over to the couch. She went into the fridge and poured them both a glass of pomegranate juice. They sat on the couch together and exchanged stories of what they had been doing when the blackout had started. Manda told him how she had found out that her best friend had delivered her baby, and how awful she had felt for not being there. At first she kept a reasonable distance from Noah, but as they talked, she found that they were shifting closer and closer together.
You’ve got to stop this, she kept telling herself. But it was too late. Angie’s love elixir had already taken hold. That had to be the answer. What else could explain the powerful tugging she felt when he raised his cup to his lips and some of the red juice dribbled down his cheek? What else could explain her sudden, consuming desire to grab hold of the body of a man she hardly knew? She couldn’t control herself. Something was coursing through her like anesthesia. Once it entered her veins, no amount of willpower could keep her from succumbing to him. Like a patient in an operating room, she could barely count to ten backwards before she was gone.
Now, before Manda could hold herself back, she plucked the cup from Noah’s hand so quickly, the last of the juice splashed out. But she didn’t care. She leaned forward and tasted the tangy juice on his chin. Then she grabbed him around the head and kissed his mouth. Heat spread through her body from head to foot.
“Come on,” she said, pulling away from Noah and standing up. She reached down and hoisted him to his feet. She picked up a candle and Noah hopped after her obediently as she headed for her bedroom. It dawned on her suddenly that they didn’t have protection. She left Noah in the bedroom, and it took her only seconds to find a box in Sierra’s night table. She took out a few condoms, hoping they weren’t enough for Sierra to notice their absence.
Back in her room, she threw the cushions off the futon and flattened it in