Chapter 15: Iris Luna
My night was populated by dreams which blurred in my mind as soon as my eyes opened. But I do recall that Cesar Mercury was incessantly present in my night, inspiring longing, desire, and anger depending on the role he played. I woke up disquiet and haunted by my visions, cursing my febrile state of mind and the lack of control over myself. I hastily drank a cup of warm milk sweetened with honey and stepped out of my attic, determined to cleanse my thoughts with a brisk morning walk. I let my steps roam freely for a while, without any given destination, but when I approached the park I am most fond of in the city, I aimed at it with intent. It was pungently cold this morning, but instead of darkening I rejoiced in the immobile beauty of the frozen air. It rendered the atmosphere of the park magic, one could almost imagine that Sleeping Beauty was waiting in a nearby castle for her awakening. Everything was covered with a thin sheath of brine, but when I found a bench I sat on it, uncaring of the chilled moisture coating its surface. I sat there awhile, as a sense of inner peace spread within me.
The thought of Cesar Mercury still floated within me. The resentment I had felt earlier had disappeared, giving way to a warm sense of empathy for this man I barely knew and yet felt so close to me.
Then, Iris, I heard at my back. I wondered if I had imagined it, since my name had been whispered with the lightest voice. I turned around and saw him, Cesar Mercury! Iris, he called out again, this time with a louder voice. My happiness was too great for words, and so I took Cesar by the hand and led him to the lake, my lake, the soothing refuge I visited whenever I longed for moments of quiet meditation. And there, in front of that lake, his mouth sank into mine, salty and sensuously plump, as his spicy perfume danced in voluptuous whisks around our united selves. I felt whole as I never had before, and time and space lost meaning as our kiss stretched into infinity.
And then a bird sang.
We laughed at this delicate intrusion, but although delicate the bird’s voice delivered a painful thought. It told me not to lose myself completely, not yet, to spare a part of me for myself and myself only, to learn who this man was one step at a time. But I know, I know! I protested silently, while detaching myself from Cesar.
The lost look on his face as I took a step back from him, oh, that look is an image I will never forget! How much I wanted to melt again in the embrace I just tore myself away from!
But I couldn’t.
“We will meet again. Do you still have my contact information?”, I asked, and then, without waiting for his answer I wrote it down again on a paper I found in my bag.
An old paper decorated with forget me not flowers, and that once belonged to a collection of greeting cards. I wondered how it happened to be there…
Cesar’s gaze was veiled with melancholy, and I smiled encouragingly, although I was fighting myself with the sadness dwelling within me. Cesar took the card with automated gests, as if deprived of will. I nodded to brush away my own hesitation, then turned and walked away, before I lost my strength and will to do so.
As I walked away I suddenly begun to hate the cold, and I shivered, my mind disheveled and my soul lonely in the white paths of the park.
But why had I left? Perhaps out of fear for the intensity of my feelings, perhaps to test if Cesar loved me enough to seek me after I had gone?
My lunatic mind eludes me, and it is perhaps because of this, to hush the confusion within me, that I pursue the endless quest of the laws of nature, its order, its unconfutable logic. So yes, where else should I have gone if not in the lab, my temple and consolation, to chase away the blues with a good dose of healthy work? There is plenty to do with my Iryssa Celata, as with all newborn babies!
And yet what a bitter surprise I found in the lab instead of the sought peace of mind!
I slipped in the lab silently as I usually do, and because of the seamless lightness of my steps Otto Hermes didn’t hear me coming. He was taking my samples from the fridge and transferring small amounts of them into test tubes, which he then stuffed into his lab coat with the undeniable intention of stealing my material.
“What are you doing?”, I exclaimed, and Otto gasped, startled by my unexpected apparition
“Oh hello…what do you mean?”, he mumbled
“Well, I saw you take my samples”, I said flatly
“Your samples?”, he replied laughing, regaining confidence
“Yes, my samples. And there’s nothing to laugh at”, I insisted, my voice pitching up in angered notes
“Hey hey…I’ve taken some of my own samples, what are you talking about?”, Otto pushed back
“There are no samples belonging to you in that fridge”, I said
“Are you sure?”, he said mockingly, brandishing a couple of bottles I had never seen before
I was taken aback, because now I had no way of proving my argument, although you can be sure it was my sample he was taking. I am not easily fooled, because I know every detail of how my precious Iryssa Celata is stored and I would never confuse my bottles with somebody else’s bottles. This should be clear!
“You are lying”, I retorted nonetheless
“Look Iris, why would I take your samples? Perhaps you are just having a bad day, ehm?”, Otto said in a patronizing tone
“Oh, at this point you can be sure I am having a bad day!”, I snapped
“Right, you are. It happens. Why don’t we talk again in another moment?”, Otto continued, deliberately circumventing my anger, and walked past me before I could pronounce another word
I was fuming with indignation, and for the whole afternoon I brooded on what had happened, and on how to prevent it from happening again, and on why Otto was stealing my material. After one tormented hour I took every sample I had and stuffed it in my bag. From now on I will keep all my samples in my fridge at home, even if I’ll risk poisoning myself! Of course there’s not much I can do about the fact that this plagiarizer has Iryssa Celata already, but at least if he wants more of it he has to be intelligent enough to synthesize it himself! I doubt he can though, that man is nothing but an idiotic loser.
Now I am in my attic, wishing I could tell Cesar how I felt about leaving him behind in the park and…and perhaps even tell him about my misadventures in the lab, if he cares to listen to my complains. But, as usual, I am sitting here alone wondering if Cesar will ever look for me again…no, no, I know he will! I know it with the blood in my veins, with my heart and irrational passion, I know that Cesar will forget me not.