Chapter 17: Iris Luna
Indeed I was very much right, Cesar did not forget me! And today I spoke to him, and told him what was troubling my mind, as I had desired to do just a night ago, wondering when and if it I would see him again…
I am running ahead of myself though, so let me tell you the facts in an orderly fashion. Although some of them confound me, I will do my best to describe to give you an understandable account of my day.
I brought the bottles containing my Iryssa Celata from my fridge at home to the lab, where I spent the whole day working at a steady pace, trying to keep away the frustrating thoughts of what had occurred yesterday. I ran analyses indefatigably, driven by the tingling feeling that I was getting one step closer to unveiling the real nature of my creature, and by now I am almost sure I finally pinned down its structure! It is so beautiful and unique!
When I felt my legs ache and my mind vacillate I interrupted my work, and decided to go to the library on my way back home. The previous times I had walked in it almost in spite of myself, animated by a disquieting anxiousness I could not explain, but today it was not so. In hindsight, I wonder if I somehow perceived what was waiting for me there…
So, as I was telling you, I walked in the library in a feverish state, mostly joyful with just a note of darkness. I immediately headed towards the rare book collection, and found the book, my book, without any hesitation. It opened on the last page where I had left it, as if remembering me, the way it always did.
The name of Cesare Mercurio, which I have yet recalled, cannot go unmentioned here! This great man of science has been the first discoverer of one of the major properties of mercury cyanides, as revealed by the proof of fire and gold. Golden flames had never before been reaveal the nature of mercury cyanides, and only a mind as ingenious as that of Cesare Mercurio could envision the illuminating experiment we shall describe shortly.
And yet, prior to the commencement of our description, we sadly linger on the thought of how light and dark, elation and tragedy can never part for too long in this gruesome world. Oh reader, does your intuition foresee some of the reasons for which the name of Cesare Mercurio was obscure to you before you read these pages? And can you imagine why, if ever his name brushed your gaze for a short moment, it did not appear to you as a memorable one? Oh reader, shall this belated recognition of the crime that lead to his obscurity be a small amend to the offense brought to this outstanding scientist! Cesare’s Mercurio discoveries have been unjustly stolen by a dishonest man, a fake scientist, a shame to the community of worthy chemists! The name of this traitor, do not forget, is
“You are working yourself too hard, reading this ancient book at this late hour, after spending the whole day working in the laboratory, as I imagine you did”, I heard Cesar say, as he snapped the book closed with surprising swiftness
“Cesar! But I was in the middle…”, I started saying, my joy in seeing Cesar as uncontainable as my curiosity for the sentence his arrival had truncated
“I have a feeling that we left our previous encounter in mid-air”, Cesare said with a provoking smile, moving the book away from me and pressing on it with his elegantly elongated fingers
I blushed, unable to reply
“Have you ever been told that taking a good walk after a long day of work is a healthy choice?”, Cesare asked, the plain words spiced with a tone full of intention
“I have, and I accept the invitation, if you were making one”, I replied, my tone at once flirtatious and appropriate
I wrapped up my belongings and, while I was busy getting ready, Cesar took away the book and placed it on the shelf in the exact spot where it belonged, as I noticed with surprise.
“Have you read the book before?”, I asked when he walked back to my table
“Why do you imagine so?”, he replied, and then, without waiting for my answer, he lead me to the door, gallantly placing his palm behind my back, and guiding my steps with the slightest pressure of his hand.
When we left the library we walked awhile in silence, side by side without any physical contact, and my thoughts slipped back to what had happened in the laboratory. Then I noticed that Cesare was observing me with the corner of his eye, and I wondered for how long I had been floundering in my own thoughts.
“Tomorrow I am inviting few friends to have dinner at my place, they are scientists, interesting fellows. I believe you could enjoy their company”, Cesare said abruptly, “and mine, I hope”, he added with a sly smile
“I will be enchanted”, I said, the strange expression coming to my lips for reasons I could not define
“You will be enchanted…you said so last time”, Cesar replied pensively, almost in a whisper, addressing me and yet talking to himself
“Which time are you referring to?”, I asked, confused and intrigued by his ways
“I think you used this expression before”, Cesar replied, his tone casual now
“Am I wrong or is something worrying you?”, he then continued, abruptly changing the subject
“Oh I am sorry, it is true that something crossed my mind few moments ago but I don’t want to think about it now that I am with you”, I said, flattered by his attentions.
I had desired so much to talk to Cesar about what had happened with Otto Hermes, but now I could not get myself to do so.
“You haven’t known me from a long time, an yet aren’t there people who you trust from the start, without being able to define why?”, Cesar said calmly, without resentment
“Oh, but it is not lack of trust…”, I began
“Let me bring you somewhere”, Cesar interrupted me, as if the previous object of our conversation was suddenly irrelevant
“Where?”, I asked intrigued
“Wait and see, if you trust me”, Cesar laughed
I was silent for a moment.
“I cannot explain why, but I sense that by telling you about what happened to me today I will trigger something…something dreadful…”, I said abruptly, suddenly realizing my fears
“Something dreadful?”, Cesar asked, arching his long black brows in surprise
“Yes…”
“And yet you want to tell me”, Cesar concluded
“How can you tell?”, I asked, startled by his acumen
He smiled enigmatically without saying a word.
“How can you tell?”, I iterated, and then, surrendering, I told him about Otto Hermes, about his odd behaviour and the samples he was stealing, I showed him the bottles I was carrying in my purse and explained all I knew about Iryssa Celata.
Cesar listened without interrupting me, just nodding every now and then, and when I finally finished he frowned, as if pondering the facts.
“So what do you think?”, I finally asked
Cesar was silent for a moment.
“I think you must be careful”, he said at last
“But don’t you believe I can be mistaken in my interpretation of the facts?”, I asked, hoping for the illogical answer I knew he would not give me
“If he was pocketing your samples, how could you be wrong about the fact that he meant to steal them?”, Cesar objected
“Certainly he wanted to take them, but perhaps his aim is not to steal my work and use my results as if they were his… my supervisor knows what I have been working on anyways. How can Otto really sell my science as if it was his?”, I reasoned
“I cannot tell you what your colleague has in mind, but is obvious is that his behaviour is suspicious. Caution is all I am advising”, Cesar said in a plain, reasonable tone that one could not argue against
“What do you mean in practice with caution? What should I do?”, I asked, surrendering
“Bring your samples and notebook with you at all times, do not leave them in the lab unless you are there. Keep your eyes open and try not to stay around the lab alone at night”
“You think Otto could physically harm me?”, I exclaimed startled, the thought occurring to me for the first time
“Maybe, or maybe not. He could certainly make you very uncomfortable by confronting you when there’s nobody else around”, Cesar said
“Confront me?”
“Confront you verbally, or hold conversations that it would be best for you not to hear. Be careful, that’s all”, Cesar said, in a conclusive tone that told me he had said all he wanted to say and did not want to continue discussing this matter for the time being.
I nodded, and walked for a while with my head bowed, till Cesar stroked my hand and I raised my eyes.
“Look”, he told me, stopping in front of a shop
“The Main Apothecary” read the sign, written in fading letters. I stared at it, pondering how old it could be, and at the same time feeling a pang of pain within me as if I was observing an object from my childhood, now consumed by time, its scars marking my soul. Then I looked inside. There was an old man in there, bent over the counter grinding what I thought were herbs, keeping a candle beside him. I couldn’t see his face, but the mortar and pestle he was using and the candle were oddly familiar. Then I observed the shelves and the jars on them, and I can swear I had been there before.
“I know this place…”, I whispered
“Do you? Did you ever buy anything here? I never found it open. I am not generally one who buys herbal products, but I love the place”, Cesar said smiling
I felt tears rolling down my eyes.
“Iris…”, Cesar said, looking at me with surprised tenderness and concern
My throat felt tight, and I swallowed down my tears unable to speak
“Why are you crying?”, he asked, wiping my face with his light long fingers
“I…I don’t know”, I said at last
The man in the shop raised his face. He stared at me, bugging his eyes in the effort to make out my features. Then I saw a flash of recognition on his face, or so I thought, but before I could do anything he walked on the back of the store as if trying to hide the same emotions that were overwhelming me.
“This man knows me…”, I said, “did you see?”
“What man, Iris?”, Cesar asked
“The one that was behind the counter”, I replied, not understanding why Cesar was asking
“But there’s nobody behind the counter. The store is closed”, Cesar objected, looking at me oddly
“Of course there is nobody now, but there was someone”, I insisted, a hiccup of anger peaking within me
“Iris, there was nobody at the counter and there is nobody now”, Cesar said calmly
I felt my balance vacillate.
“Let me bring you home now”, Cesar said, “we’ll have more time together tomorrow. You will not forget the dinner at my place, right?”
“I will not”, I confirmed faintly
After I reached my attic I hid in bed without even having dinner, and I am writing these pages in bed now, afraid of myself, of my unstable mind, of everything around me. Or perhaps there is nothing to be afraid of, because all of this is nothing but a dream, a psychedelic adventure. What is happening to me? I hope the night will be short, now I hate the game of shadows and suffused shapes that animate the dark hours. I shall never go to the apothecary shop again. But why did Cesar close the book I was reading today? Can I trust him? Can I trust myself? Oh reader, sometimes I long for darkness and silence, as full and immense as death, so that the turmoil within in me can cease for once and for all.