Chapter 19 - Iris
Today I left the lab in an exhilarating mood, but my enthusiasm deflated when I discovered that my Iryssa Celata is not mine after all. I feel so lost tonight, now that I know that someone else before me already discovered what I have searched for so long, what I perceived as the essential manifestation of my abilities! But I am running ahead of the chronological order in which I want to describe the events to you…
When I finished my work in the lab I checked the clock. I had about one hour before dinner with Cesar, just enough time to go to the library. I ran towards it taken by a great urge to retrieve the book. The last time I was in the library Cesar had closed the book abruptly when I was in the middle of a crucial sentence, almost as if he hadn’t wanted me to read further, and my curiosity was now tingling. When I entered the library’s door I immediately sensed that there was something different about it, something I couldn’t quite pin down, and without being able to tell why, I was at once relieved and disturbed, glad and disappointed. I walked down the stairs leading to the rare book section and went straight to the shelf where my book was supposed to be. It was not there, and yet shelf was tightly packed, there was no room for another book…how could this be if my book had been taken? Was my memory betraying me about its location? I looked in all the other shelves frantically, with no success. I looked in the inventory: if it had been moved perhaps I could find its location this way. But the title of my book was not in the inventory! I was going through the inventory’s cards all over again when a librarian approached me from the back.
“Are you finding everything all right?”, she asked, and I started, because I hadn’t noticed her presence.
“No”, I said, “no, I cannot find my book”
My voice resounded oddly in my ears, as if it were avulsed from reality
“If you give me the title you are looking for I might be able to help you”, she replied calmly
I gave her the title
“Ehm”, she replied dubiously, “I know almost all the titles in here but this one…I don’t seem to remember it”
A panicked look must have crossed my face, because she immediately added, “Oh, but it wouldn’t be the first thing I forget. Let’s have a second look in the inventory”
She scrolled thought the cards, a frown appearing when all the cards has slipped through her fingers.
“Are you sure about the title?”, she asked
“Yes…”, I said faintly
Then, without waiting for her answer, I started to run, blindly almost, feeling reality dissolve into filaments of smoke, my reason waver.
I ran and ran, till I hit a red traffic light, and there I saw the oddest and most terrifying scene. A masked man on a bike approached a car, opened the door and shot the driver in cold blood. Nobody was there, and when he biked away I was not sure myself of what I had seen. But then the driver fell head down on the steering wheel and by the time I approached the car rivulets of blood were pouring from his mouth. I should have called for help, but was I did instead was run – faster than before – run away as fast as I could.
I reached Cesar’s house with large advance, grasping for breath, and rang the bell repeatedly, ready to start running again if he hadn’t opened the door immediately. But he did.
“Come on in”, he said, as he stood beside the propped door with a slightly stupefied expression
“What happened?”, he then asked, his gaze piercing me relentlessly
I told him about the man in the street, and he shook his head in desolation
“Ah yes…I know”, he said
“What do you mean?”, I asked, but instead of answering he wrapped his arms around me
“And my book went missing from the library”, I continued, pulling back to look at Cesar’s face as I spoke
“Which book?”, he asked, arching his brows
“Do you remember the one I was reading in the library, in the rare book section, when we met?”, I explained
“Well, I remember that one day we met at the library but you weren’t reading, you were just sitting at the table with an intense expression on your face. When you realized I was there and raised your eyes you seemed tired, so I told you to take it easy and dragged you out to get some fresh air”, he answered
“No, I was reading!”, I screamed
“Sure, perhaps you were”, Cesar replied calmly
“I was reading and you closed my book!”, I insisted
“You know that I have dinner waiting for us in the oven?”, Cesare told me smiling, as if the previous part of the conversation had not taken place at all
“I am so sorry”, I apologized, returning his previous embrace, “I am so shaken, you know”
“You don’t need to justify yourself, everything is just fine”, Cesar replied in a reassuring tone
We ate with few exchanges of words and the silence, the dimly lit rooms, the fading buzzes from the street gradually permeated me with a peaceful comfort.
But then Cesar spoke.
“You know that I found a paper that I think might be useful for your research?”, he dropped casually
I was surprised, because I had never gone into much detail about my research when speaking with Cesar.
“Oh, I sure don’t know much about your research”, he continued, as if reading my thoughts, “but I recall you mentioned having an interest in mercury cyanides and having synthesized a novel cyanogenic glycoside”
“Here, have a look”, he said, picking up the paper from a pile sitting at the corner of the table and handing it to me.
The first detail I noticed was the date. Today is April 15, 1966 and that was the date on the paper was Aril 15, 1866, one hundred years apart exactly from today. The print was new, and the date could only be a mistake, but it still stroke me as a curious coincidence.
“Look at the date!”, I laughed, “These guys certainly know something about time travelling”
Cesare smiled, but his smile was mirthless.
I began to read, and the more I read the darker my mood became.
“This paper describes exactly what I found today. Exactly”, I said, disheartened
“Who’s the author?”, I then wondered out loud
I looked at the first page
“Ricco Ermete…I never heard of him before. Anyways, I can forget about all I’ve been working on, since clearly it is well known and even published. I am stunned though, the perfect overlap is striking…how can two different minds proceed exactly the same way?”, I said
“Isn’t Ricco Ermete your colleague’s name?”, Cesar asked, as if suddenly remembering
“No…you might be thinking of Otto Hermes”, I said
“What an odd coincidence!”, Cesar exclaimed, “Do you know that Ricco means rich in Italian the same way Otto means rich in German?”
There was a peak in Cesar’s tone I couldn’t interpret.
I shrugged, indifferent to everything now that my world had crumbled, now that I had lost ownership of my best creation.
“Don’t be disappointed Iris, there are so many other discoveries waiting for you”, Cesar told me when he saw my battered look, tending his open arms towards me.
“Thank you for the encouragement…really. I think I should go home now”, I replied with a forced smile, retreating.
“Already? Can I at least walk with you for a while?”, Cesar asked, a sad wave rising within him
“No…no. I will call you”, I replied, and left hastily, running towards my empty attic the same way I had ran towards Cesar’s place.