Much to her surprise, Lunarey actually managed to raise even more question marks for herself, now that she knew that the people on her list were murder victims whose cases were yet unsolved. There was also the thought about the strange man who stared at her from afar that worried her. Who was he?
Is it possible that he recognized me from somewhere? That he might know me from who I was before I lost my memory?
It was unbearable for her. The hardest part was keeping it all to herself. She couldn’t bring herself to tell Kelia about her latest discovery. If she learns that the list of people that I've been carrying around is actually a list of murder victims, she might take me for the killer, and probably kick me out, or worse, call the police. She wasn’t able to hide her worried expressions all the time, but whenever Kelia would ask her if something was wrong she would avoid the question or just make something up as an excuse.
From what she read on Rosabell's SmartWrist, the police couldn’t find anyone with a motive to kill those people, nor did they have any evidence to link anyone to the murders, which probably suggested the use of Elastics. Did I murder these people?
Did I mutilate them so badly? She felt disgusted whenever she was reminded of the brutal descriptions in those news articles. Eyes poked out, limb dismemberment, high degree burns. The list went on and on, making Lunarey feel sick.
Ever since Lunarey defended Rosabell from those bullies, she kept thinking about her, wondering how she was. She hadn’t seen anyone picking on her from her window in the days that followed, making Lunarey hopeful that she might have ended Rosabell's long cycle of abuse. She constantly glanced through her window, hoping to see that lonely girl once more, if only to have a pleasant conversation with her, perhaps making her feel a bit less lonely.
"Hey, Kelia," Lunarey turned to her roommate one day.
"Do you remember that girl that was always getting picked on?
The one I told you about that I saw from my window the other day?"
"Yeah. What about her?"
"Do you happen to know if she's still getting picked on?"
"Well, I actually saw her get beaten by some girls a few days ago. Aside from that I don’t think she’s even come to school since then."
"Beaten? Are you sure?" Lunarey dreaded the confirmation.
"Saw it with my own eyes." Those girls… it must be same ones.
I'm sure of it. They must have retaliated against poor Rosabell for what I did. "Why? What's wrong?" Kelia wondered. "Why are you so fascinated with that girl? I already told you, this kind of thing happens all the—"
"Because I helped her."
"Y-You what?" Kelia had trouble believing what she had heard.
"The other day… I-I helped her. I fought off those girls…"
"What? Why didn’t you tell me about this?" Kelia raged.
"I'm sorry, Kelia, I just—"
"You know how dangerous that is! If someone had have recognized you, they could have called the cops on you!"
"If you could just see what those girls do to her—"
"I DO see it! Almost every day at school!"
"Then… why don’t you do something about it? Why does nobody wants to help her?"
Kelia sighed in defeat. "You already know the answer.
Because that won't change anything. That girl is who she is, and who she is, is the reason she gets picked on. You can't change that. You saw it yourself. You fought those girls off, but they came back the next day."
"But it's not her fault! She did nothing wrong!"
"Sometimes it doesn’t take that you do something wrong for something wrong to happen to you."
"It's not fair!" Lunarey burst. Her eyes glistened as they became teary. Kelia approached her and gave her a long hug. "I know, Luni… I know."
Long moments of silence went by as the two were wrapped in each other's arms. Lunarey felt helpless. It was as if she was crushed under the weight of all the ugliness she had witnessed so far. "How do you do it, Kelia?" she turned to her only friend in the world. "How do you live every day here knowing what you know?" she broke down.
"I…" Kelia seemed speechless. "I just don’t think about it.
It's as simple as that. This reality… this awful situation…
everything from mob gangs who are ruining this country to simple school girls who abuse others… I was born into it. It's a constant part of my life. Fuck that, it's a constant part of ALL
of our lives."
"No…" Lunarey's voice was decisive, full of rage. "It's not part of mine. I was born anew. I lost the person I was before and started all over again as Lunarey."
"That's not going to help you." That sentence hit Lunarey as if it was a weapon fired at her. "You just have to accept things as they are."
"I won't do that!" Lunarey declared. "I don’t know who I was before, but I know who I am now. Whatever I might have done or seen… it's all in the forgotten past now, and it can't haunt me. These ideals of supremacy, survival of the fittest, ignoring the weak and poor, these are the kind of values that have brought us all here. They’re the kind of values that made you grow up without a father, in a shitty district that you can't afford to leave. So I refuse to be as neglectful as everyone else.
I'm going to use the chance I was given to be a better person."
Once again, Lunarey managed to leave Kelia speechless. She spoke with such charisma and determination that it could be easily forgotten that only a while ago had she woken up with no recollection of the world around her. "That girl… she looked so lonely," Lunarey's tone lowered as she mentioned her. "Kelia, can I call her?"
"W-What?" Kelia finally opened her mouth.
"I want to talk to Rosabell, see how she's doing. Please, Kelia. Please, let me use your SmartWrist to talk to her."
"I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Luni."
"What harm could come from it? Please, Kelia… I need this."
Kelia sighed, long and hard. "Fine. I'll block my number so she won't know where the call is made from." She snapped her SmartWrist into its flat shape and started tapping on it a few times. Once she tracked Rosabell's number, she handed Lunarey the device, ready to make the call.
Lunarey felt so anxious when she heard the dial tone change into Rosabell's voice. "Hello?" she answered the call.
"Rosabell? It's me, Lunarey!"
"Lunarey? Hey… umm, how did you get my number?"
"I-I tracked it. I'm sorry, I just wanted to see how you were doing."
Really? Well… I'm alright, I guess."
"I mean, those girls… the ones who picked on you—"
"Are still at it."
"B-But—"
"But you thought they were done for good when you beat them up?"
"I… I don’t know… I-I can beat them up again!"
"That won't help. You know that."
"Oh…"
"Lunarey… why do you care so much about me? I mean, I like it, but… I guess I'm just not used to it."
"I just… do. Is it wrong?"
"Of course not. I'm just a bit taken aback by the whole thing."
"I've been thinking about you ever since we met."
"Really? That’s odd to hear."
"I was just worried about you."
"You really are something, Lunarey… umm, what's your last name, by the way?" Lunarey felt her heart drop. What can I say? I don’t have a last name, as far as I know. What should I tell her?
"I-It's Gardner." She remembered the name from the books she read. Carl Gardner, the man who tried to assassinate President Hamilton, back in 2029.
"Lunarey Gardner… you're like my guardian angel, aren’t you?"
"I-I guess."
"Unfortunately, my dear angel, you've arrived too late."
Lunarey noticed a sudden shift in Rosabell's voice. "At this point, nothing's going to restore my hope about the world.
Everyone's a fucking scumbag. And I hope that even though you appear to be naïve and innocent, you realize that too."
"That’s not true. I—"
"I've had friends like you before… good friends who used to protect me like you did… until they turned on me."
"I'm not like that!" Lunarey pleaded.
"That’s what I thought about them too, at the time. I'm sorry, Lunarey, but I don’t believe in anyone anymore. I appreciate what you did for me, but I just can't risk another backstab."
"Wait! Just listen—!"
"I WILL tell you this, though: the way you stood up against those girls… you’ve got a lot of courage. And now you’ve given me some. And I'm going to use that courage for my own good now."
"What are you—?"
"Goodbye, Lunarey." She hung up the call. Lunarey put down the SmartWrist, her eyes wide open with shock regarding what she just heard. Why was she talking like that? Why did she think I would backstab her? What did she mean by using her courage for her own good? As always, questions haunted Lunarey.
That night, she had trouble finding sleep. Her mind kept racing with thoughts about Rosabell. She kept wondering how the conversation took such a dark turn all of a sudden. "I guess a scarred person is a scarred person. Nothing wipes away a scar," said Kelia when Lunarey asked for her input. That sentence flowed through her mind constantly.
The next day, Lunarey tried to focus on other matters. She was sick of haunting thoughts and never-ending question marks. Instead she turned to her books, enriching her knowledge of the world around her further and further.
With her mind settled on different matters, ones that shouldn’t frustrate or worry her, Lunarey felt much more relaxed. Eventually she completely forgot about Rosabell and the list of victims. For once she felt tranquility, as she cleared her mind of all that was bothering her, yet there could be none of that in Alataria.
A couple of days later, Kelia returned from school with a grim expression upon her face. She entered her room and immediately addressed Lunarey, who was reading one of her books.
"L-Luni… we need to talk."
"What is it?" she closed the book.
"It's about Rosabell…" Kelia's bleak eyes had already foreshadowed the worst. Lunarey knew the news even before they left Kelia's lips. "She's dead. She killed herself." The book dropped from Lunarey's hands.