GRAND PAPPY MULDOON
Nathaniel Horace Muldoon (Buckaroo’s Grand Pappy) was born in the heart of winter in 1786, in Jefferson County located within the great state of Tennessee. No one remembers much about Nathaniel’s parents, but some rumored they ran a small trading post not far from the main county road. Said his pappy was a white man and his mammy was an Injun squaw. Yet he showed no sign of an Indian bloodline for his skin was white as snow and no Indian would mistake him for anything else but a paleface.
His parents most likely dealt in the sale of homemade spirits, and tradin’ for furs and the like. They also would have had the basic wares of coffee, flour, sugar, tobacco, cornmeal, dried meats and such on hand for trappers and weary travelers passin’ through the county.
As a youngster, Nathaniel went by the nickname of ‘Ox,’ due to his large, oversized frame. Stood almost six-feet at age eleven, and would reach six-feet seven-inches at full growth. His sandy-red hair caused him many a ruckus in later years and gave way to folks talkin’ about his temper bein’ that of a red-hot poker which they likened to his red hair. Ox sported a full red beard, which made his green eyes seem intense indeed. Only the drunken or fool-hardy dared to challenge this giant who was more then willin’ to take on several scoundrels at a time. Fists or knives seem to make no difference to Ox, for he was ready to dish out a right sound beatin’ whenever the need should arise to those mindless mud heads.
In 1796 he was fortunate enough to meet up with a young lad who had just migrated to the Jefferson County area. David Crockett was the name of this little runt as Ox saw him; most folks just called the boy Little Davy. Ox and Little Davy were both just ten-years-old at the time, yet they were full of spunk and vinegar, as such wilderness youth are prone to be. A couple of real-time rascals all around, and both seemed set on findin’ the nearest trouble to occupy their time.
Little Davy was born in the middle of August in 1786, in old Greene County, which was also in the great state of Tennessee. The boys became instant best friends for nearly three years, going huntin’ and fishin’ in the lush green countryside. Climbing trees and skinny dippin’ in the small lakes and meandering creeks occupied their time during the summer months, activities most country boys partake of during adolescence in those parts.
In 1796 Davy’s Paw owned and operated a small tavern, which provided adequately for their meager family. No one would have guessed at such an early age that Little Davy Crockett would one day be known as the most notable frontiersmen in all of American history; even if most of his young exploits were made-up tall tales and outright exaggerations on his part, but his story tellin’ was honed to a fine art indeed. He was born with the gift of oratory that would carry him to high places in later years.
At age twelve or thereabouts Ox was forced, by his parents, into attending the local equivalent of what could be called loosely by some folks a schoolhouse. But his attendance was only for a short time as other unknown events forced the Muldoon family to leave in hast late one dark and moonless night.
Some rumored that Nathaniel Muldoon’s father was a wanted man and that he packed up his family in the middle of the night and skedaddled when he heard the powers that be found out his whereabouts. Others said they were just lookin’ for greener pastures. No one knows for sure the real truth of that late night departure, only that they left the area for parts unknown.
Ox never did learn to read, nor write, except to print his first and last names. The few times he did need to sign, he merely scratched an ‘X’ and then printed his last name only underneath his mark. Ox’s hooky playin’ over the few months he attended the small schoolhouse caused great distress with his Paw, who was not opposed to takin’ a large switch to his britches when he felt the need arise, and it often did arise.
Later when Ox reached the age of fourteen, he lit out for the hills one summer’s eve after gettin’ his Paw all riled up over refusin’ to do some unnamed chores. It was some three years before he returned to face his father. His Paw welcomed the tall lad back home with open arms to his amazement, both men huggin' and cryin’ at the short lived reunion. Ox was pert near seventeen when he returned, now considered to be full grown in his day, and with his red beard and tall stature he looked to be ever bit a true man.
When asked where he’d been, he told some pretty wild stories of his youthful adventures. His braggin’ on himself would only grow more exaggerated as his life progressed onward into the near future, somethin’ he picked up from Little Davy no doubt.
Ox’s reputation during his early years grew as a great fighter of Indians, even though most was just his braggin’ on himself or whatnot. Once he drew the cork on a jug of spirits, he was mighty fierce indeed, to hear him tell it. Some say he never had fought no Injuns, nor no truly bad men either, just wishful boasting from a man who seemed fearsome to the average man due to his enormous size.
Ox’s later wanderings took him to a mid-sized township where just by chance he ran across his old friend, Little Davy, who was at that time the local magistrate. He was brought before Crockett for being overly disorderly. Ox was drunk and had been fightin’ at a boarding house at the far end of the township. Davy fined his old childhood friend one dollar, yet his friend nary had a full dollar in his pocket so Davy paid the fine. They whooped it up over whiskey at the local saloon later that evening. Both reminisced of wild escapades they’d had in younger days, or so they claimed, and parted company the next afternoon. They never again would cross paths.
Ox would learn of his boyhood friends’ death some years later at a small mission known as the Alamo, and be forever saddened by it, yet comforted by his memories of their childhood years together.
From 1799 to 1802, very little is known about Nathaniel Muldoon. He turned up in 1804 at the age of eighteen, and was enlisted to go along on the Lewis and Clark expedition to explore the new region. President Thomas Jefferson wanted to see if there was a water route to be found between the Missouri River and the Pacific Ocean.
President Jefferson had completed his dealings with the French in 1803, in which he bought what was called the Louisiana Territory for some $15 million dollars. He had toyed with the idea of just taking the land by force, but thought better of it at the last minute. War was a messy business and the price he paid was a steal for what he got in return. The French were more then willing to hand it over, for they new they could not afford a costly war either.
That purchase moved the U.S. boundary from the mighty Mississippi River to the great Rocky Mountains. Some 830 thousand square miles of land was added to the ever expanding little nation. Jefferson didn’t truly know what he had obtained, yet it turned out to be a fantastic deal for the American people, and the beginning of the end for the Indian tribes who considered the land sacred and protected by the Great Spirit.
Jefferson picked Captain Meriwether Lewis from the active Army, and teamed him with a former army officer by the name of William Clark to shepherd his mission in surveying the uncharted vast region. In 1804, all were ready to start their famous expedition, except two days before they were slated to move out, Ox Muldoon met with an untimely accident.
Ox found himself on an afternoon pleasure outing with a beautiful young local gal he fancied very much. His innate manly intentions were to lure the pretty lass into the deep woods, whereupon he might persuade her fancy into ‘Flyin’ the high Eagle,’ if she be so inclined, so to speak. As luck would have it, the lovely gal was also of a mind to ‘Ride his high Horse,’ which brought great delight to Ox’s true intentions.
Now it was rumored the young lady was actually no fine lady at all, but was a lewd woman of ill repute who preyed upon foolish young men. This may be why she allowed Ox to so easily lead her into the dense dark forest with nary a complaint or hesitation from the lass. Her fluttering eyes and bodacious smilin’ was suddenly broken by a ruffling of bushes, followed by a frightful growl comin’ from the thick, dark forest. Ox was now hearin’ the sounds himself; possibly a large buck, or maybe some farmers old bull got loose he reckoned.
His curiosity not withstandin’ he played up the event in order to impress her with his bravado and told her to stand behind him and be very still. Drawing up his old rifle, a Brown Bess musket which the British used against General George Washington in the Revolutionary War back in the 1770’s, he was now more then at the ready. The noise grew louder as the large critter seemed to be headin’ straight for’em. Ox cocked the flint loaded hammer in expectation of havin’ a chance of takin’ down a large buck, which would surely get him the admiration he so eagerly sought in satisfying his aching loins.
The massive creature broke through the thick brush and Ox could hardly believe his own eyes. There stood before him a male Grizzly bear; eight feet long and pert near seven hundred pounds he figured.
Your average adult grizz is fairly sizable and a very robust creature to be sure. Their name comes from the coarse silver-tipped outer hairs which give them a grizzled look. Their basic color appearance comes from the thick woolly under-fur, which usually ranges anywhere from light brown to a grayish black. Grizzlies have been known to kill without much provocation, and have a taste for white homesteaders and old Injuns or so some old timers claim.
The great grizz spotted Ox and his timid companion and rose up onto its hind legs, standin’ some eleven feet straight up. With an ear-splittin’ growl it charged Ox head-on. Aiming his nine-pound musket he discharged a ball which struck the mighty beast in the left shoulder. The bullet had little consequence as the Grizz charged onward, not slowed by the balls impact. The infuriated brute covered thirty feet of ground in what seemed only a heartbeat in Ox’s mind. Powerless to reload in time, Ox braced himself for the assault. He was unduly stunned and flabbergasted at the strength of the murderous predator. The colossal bear slammed him to the ground knockin’ the breath from his pummeled lungs. Blood from the deep claw marks on his back soaked his buckskin shirt.
Muldoon frantically started crawlin’ away from the Grizzly, but was set upon once more with a vengeance. The huge, thick teeth of the beast sunk deep into the right leg of the fleein’ frontiersman. Shakin’ like a little rag doll, Ox was tossed about with ease by the awesome brute.
Witnessin’ the carnage before her, the young lass picked up an old tree branch and swatted the huge creature right across the hind quarters. When the bear broke off its fierce attack and turned, she let out a shriek that would have made any Comanche Warrior proud. Startled and with wide eyes the Grizz turned and ran for the thick brush and vanished into the dense woods. The attack ended just as suddenly as it had begun.
Makin’ their way back, Ox was laid up for weeks and unable to go on the renowned excursion made by Lewis and Clark. This was Ox Muldoon’s tale he told after their fateful encounter in the dark forest and their immense struggle to return to the safety of the township.
The young lass would eventually tell a different story some years later. She claimed that Ox and herself were indeed deep in the forest when they heard a peculiar clamor cumin’ from the heavy brush. Ox took up his musket just as the critters broke through the brush, only a few feet from where they were sittin’ on an old rotten log. A large brownish-black female porcupine and her brood of young sprang forth.
North American porcupines are on average about three feet long and weigh between 20 and 25 pounds. Their dull golden-whitish quills--what some folks call barbs--are three or more inches long on the larger porcupines. Those barbs snag into whatever they make contact with, such as flesh, and are extremely hard to remove. Most varmints’ that tangle with a porcupine later die from infectious quills, puncture wounds, or even starvation from barbs lodged in their jaws.
As Ox rose up from the old log he cocked the hammer on his old musket. The mother porcupine was startled by the two intruders; she hissed, lunged forward a few steps and flared her pointy quills in defense of her young. Ox was caught off guard at her sudden offense and tried to back up. Forgettin’ about the fallen log, he tripped onto his back with both feet flung high in the air. On impact, he unwittingly squeezed the trigger and discharged the old musket. To his own amazement, he had shot a hole right through his right foot, not too far from his big toe.
The blast and smoke from the musket sent the porcupines fleein’ into the dense woods in all directions. As the smoke cleared the young lass tended to his foot and gave him aid and support as they made their way slowly out of the forest.
This is the story of what truly happened per the young lady. She stated there was no grizzly bear, nor had any big brawl taken place between them; just another tall tale by Ox Muldoon to impress the gullible onlookers in the local taverns who supplied him with free drinks; but no man ever dared call the red-haired giant a liar; least not to his face.
Whatever the truth, Ox didn’t make the Lewis and Clark journey. Meriwether Lewis and William Clark did complete their wondrous trip. Navigatin' all the way from the Missouri River then across the great Rocky Mountains, and onward. They followed what would later be called the snake and Columbia Rivers. Their trek ended in 1805 and failed to provide what President Jefferson had hoped for, a continuous water route all the way to the Pacific Ocean.
Lewis wrote in his journal many unusual things that he and Clark had discovered; such as blue-eyed, light skinned Injuns, strange stone monuments and the like. Some say Lewis was murdered by the powers that be back in Washington because of the things he and Clark ran across on their adventure. Others would say it was just a lot of hogwash, made up by a man lookin’ to write a book for the sake of raisin up some coins for his later years. No one knows for sure and yet many still attest there be truth to what he wrote in his journal.
Other expeditions, such as that of Zeb Pike’s in 1806, would also venture out to explore parts of the Louisiana Purchase. Poor ol’Zebulon Pike wasn’t as lucky as Lewis and Clark. Pike was down near the Rio Grande River when Spanish soldiers nabbed him and his small expedition.
After awhile they tired of him and his party and finally released them all with nary a scratch between them. Zeb did return with much knowledge and mapping of the southern areas, so his adventure was overall viewed by many as worthwhile.