Early Wednesday morning, September 19, 1984, the Russian countryside-
Stillwell and Anderson were tired from driving all night. They were coming up to a small village in the mountainous countryside and Kurt watched her from the passenger seat he could see that Mary was far closer to exhaustion than he had guessed earlier. He could have gone for another two days without stopping but he didn’t want her to be so wrung out that she couldn’t do her job tonight. He knew they would have to stop somewhere for a few hours rest. They came into the village and Kurt asked Mary to pull up to the inn at the end of the main road.
“How about some breakfast, pretty lady? I, for one, am starving.”
“I think I could eat something, Kurt. Sounds like a good idea to me. We can play the role of tourist for a while and continue our pretend marriage, right?” I’ve given a lot of thought to you and I over the past few hours of driving and I am beginning to think more and more of how it would be if we really were married. I get all tingly just thinking about how we would be together. I’d gobble you up like a starved little kitten being offered a delicious meal!
“Right Mary, I think I like the idea even if it is pretend. You don’t know this because I haven’t told you, but I speak fluent Russian. I’ll order us some breakfast and we can rest up a bit.”
“Oh! I am truly impressed, Mr. Stillwell. Okay, let’s get some breakfast. By the way, I took a little Russian back in college. Maybe I can try it out here.”
They entered the inn and found that there was just one other man and woman at a table there. They went to a table in the far corner and waited for the matronly old lady who was waiting on the other couple to come over to take their order.
It was warm in the inn and they took their coats off and put them on the backs of their chairs. Mary was wearing a nice looking light blue skirt with a matching light blue cotton blouse. Typical American tourists. Kurt was wearing dark blue slacks and a medium blue long sleeved shirt. Nicely matched couple. He looked like a business executive trying to dress down and she looked like a newlywed bride by the way she was clinging to him on the way in. The old lady made her way over to them and asked if she could help them.
Kurt said, “Mnye Pazhalusta yiishnitsa, blinchiki.” He then said, “But’tye dbry chornyi kofe.” The old lady smiled and asked him what his beautiful wife would have. He told her that she would have the same, but instead of black coffee, she would have “Chai s-limonam”, tea with lemon. The old lady nodded and left to attend to their order.
“Hey, what did you order?”
“Eggs and stuffed pancakes for us with black coffee for me and tea with lemon for you.”
“Very good my husband. You make a fine Russian gentleman!” She smiled, winked at him and squeezed his arm. I like the way this feels! Even pretending to be husband and wife is exhilarating. I don’t ever want to let go of this man!
The old lady was watching and said something to her husband who was tending the kitchen and they both chuckled and smiled at Kurt and Mary. Kurt smiled back and Mary blushed.
“I think I’d like to try a bit of Russian out on her. Do you mind?” “Of course not, pretty lady. Go for it!”
When the old lady brought their order to them, Mary smiled and said, “Ya biryeminna.” Then she placed her hand on Kurt’s arm and said, “Vot Kvitantsiya.” Kurt started laughing and couldn’t stop. The old lady started laughing too and patted Mary on the shoulder and said, “Ochin’ priyatna” and continued to laugh as she walked away. Kurt was laughing so hard tears were running down his face.
“Oh my word, what did I say? I thought I said that we are married and that you are my husband.”
“What you said is usually a result of marriage, but you were a little off, pretty lady!” Kurt could hardly get the words out for laughing. The old lady told her husband what Mary had said and he started roaring with laughter. By this time, Mary was more than a little embarrassed and blushed again.
She giggled and pleaded with Kurt as she squeezed his arm. “Please stop laughing long enough to tell me what I said!”
He finally caught his breath and looked into her beautiful blue eyes and said, “You said, ‘I’m pregnant.’ Then you put your hand on my arm and said, ‘Here’s the receipt.’ I’m sorry, Mary, but it was so funny I couldn’t stop laughing. The old lady said, ‘Pleased to meet you’ while she patted you on the shoulder.”
“Kurt, I think I’ll leave the Russian to you from now on.” She started to giggle again when she thought about what she had said and gave him a hug. The old lady and her husband looked at them and sighed together. Such a nice young married couple. They looked so happy together.
After Kurt and Mary had finished their breakfast, Mary started to yawn and stifled it with her hand. “I’m sorry, Kurt. I guess the breakfast and the friendly atmosphere has helped me relax and the all-night driving has caught up with me.”
“Look, Mary, we’re way ahead of schedule and we have a five-hour margin built in just in case we ran into some snags. I think we should check into a room so you can get some decent sleep like I did when we traded places driving last night. I have to make sure you are fresh when we meet Panin. I can’t have you tired and making mistakes. Besides, it’s easier to sleep in a soft bed than it is on a hard car seat.”
“A little nap would do me some good. You’re probably right; I do need to be sharp and what the heck, we’re an American married couple on vacation anyway, right?”
“Absolutely.”
After they had finished their breakfast, Kurt waved at the old lady who was standing by the kitchen. She came over and he said, “Ya by khat yel tikhii nomir, nomir z-dushem.” The woman nodded, smiled at Mary and wen