Chapter 52
When the door closed behind Jack I lay back, looking at the ceiling. The thoughts floated in my mind, a myriad of them, all somehow incomplete. The excitement preceding departures bubbled inside me, troubled by the anxiousness of the accident, by the feeling my mind was unbearably slow in retrieving information and remembering what I had to do, and by the fact that I was pinned in bed.
The nurse came by bringing a hot cup of tea. “This will do you good”, she said with a smile
I thanked her, and asked if she could bring me a paper and a pen. She said “sure”, after recommending again that I rest. It seemed to me she was treating me like an invalid, and a chill passed through my spine thinking about the brain-annihilating treatments they used in the past for those considered crazy. “I’m with you in Rockland…”, I recited in my mind and figured, a moment later, that it was a line from the Howl by Ginsberg. I began sipping the tea. The first sip was tasteless, the second one was bitter, with a metal after-taste. I grimaced and placed the cup on the side table.
The nurse came back with pen and paper, and I inclined the bed so that I was in a partially upright position. But when I could finally write down the ramble of my sparse thoughts to put some order in them I had the writer’s block, and my mind went blank. I closed my eyes, trying to recollect my ideas. The dream. I retrieved the details of one image and wrote them. I closed my eyes again, and I recalled some more. And after that the pen flew easily, taking possession of the paper’s blank emptiness. I was still writing when there was a knock on the door, and the nurse came in with a displeased hint hang on her face.
“You have a visitor”, she said, letting in Mariam Avery
“Our patient woke up this morning, I would ask you to be considerate”
“I just need few moments, thank you”, Detective Avery said with a tone that did not accept discussion
The nurse nodded, and shadowed away with seamless steps.
“Thank you for coming”, I said, genuinely relieved by the fact that I could check out some items off my to-do list before leaving the hospital.
I knew I had to drop by and talk to her before taking off, but given the circumstances I hardly had enough time to pack.
“How are you feeling?”, she asked
“Confused”
She nodded and sat beside my bed.
“Did you see who was in the car”
“Yes”, I said, and told her about the cleaning lady, and about my suspicion that she had been after me well before I noticed it, trying to access my computer. Detective Avery scribbled some notes on her pad, then looked at me shaking her head.
“Do you have a gut feeling about who sent her over?”
This hardly sounded like the question from a detective, and I looked at her with what she misinterpreted as a scared expression
“You are not judging anybody in court, I am just asking you for an opinion”
“Well, the people at the Cross cancer institute are acting quite odd”, I said, and filled her in with the details I thought she still didn’t know about
She nodded in a way that told me she knew already
“You spoke with Brad?”
She nodded again, “And with your other colleague”
“Alice”
“Yes”
“What about your boss”
“There was an inspection before our accident, and she was nervous, but just because she is a control-freak and hates interference. You sent the inspection, right?”
“I make my checks”, she replied coolly
“When you made your checks, did you find anything about Mike?”, I asked
“The same Mike who you said is somewhat involved in the polymer project?”, she asked, bugging her eyes just slightly
“Yes, him”, I said
“Why are you asking?”, she said, bugging her eyes a bit more
I told her what I heard from McMurrich
“And you think McMurrich was giving you a honest account of the facts?”, Avery asked
“Yes…yes”, I mumbled, considering for the first time that maybe McMurrich was making it all up
“I mean, she seemed genuinely worried…”, I continued
“Ok, I will look in this”
“Please, thank you. I need to know…personally. I cannot accept that Mike was manipulating us”, I said
Avery looked at me without replying, and there was a pause in the conversation.
“I am leaving for Italy on Friday”, I said abruptly, breaking the silence
Mariam Avery arched her brows, but before she could ask I gave her my account, with an abundance of technical details. I didn’t care if she was interested, I needed her to clarify my own ideas and kept talking to myself as much as I was talking to her. She let me speak, and the words were still pouring out when McMurrich walked in.
Her eyes fell on me first, and a second later on Detective Avery. Her face went pale and she took a step back, before recomposing herself and producing a forced smile.
“Hello Iris, knowing about the accident was such a shock”
“Thanks for coming”, I said, and Mariam Avery stood up, “Detective Avery”, she said, tending her hand
“Dr. McMurrich”, she replied, looking her fully confident self again
“It’s great you happened to come, I would care to have a word with you, if you don’t mind”, said Avery
“Unfortunately I have a full schedule this morning”
Mariam Avery nodded.
“Then come see me tomorrow morning at 9”, she said, pulling out a business card from her pocket and handing it to my boss
McMurrich was about to raise on objection, but then swallowed it down and said, “I will try to make time”
Then, turning to me, “I look forward to seeing you in the lab”
“Thank you…I have to leave to see my relative though. I will be leaving this Friday”
“This Friday”, she repeated
“Yes…”
“Get well and have a safe trip”, she replied curtly, heading towards the door
“Thank you”, I said
“See you tomorrow morning”, said Avery
McMurrich nodded, and let the door shut close behind her. Avery looked at the door for a moment.
“Your boss didn’t look too cool about seeing me”, she said
“I noticed”
“But you haven’t seen anything odd in her behaviour lately”
“There is always something odd in her behaviour, but if you are asking me if things got worse the answer is no”
Avery pondered my answer for a moment, then asked, “Did you lie about your reasons for leaving?”
“Of course, I had to, or else she would never allow me to go. I implied I am going to see a dying relative…”
“Why would she not let you go?”
The question sounded stupid to me.
“What do you mean?”, I asked
“Is she worried that you might discover something you shouldn’t discover?”
“I don’t think so. She is probably more worried about other people knowing what’s going on in the lab and maybe stealing the idea of a new products she find extremely promising. She wanted to sell the polymer…”
“Does she still want to?”
“I don’t know, many resources have gone into this research and…”
The nurse knocked and walked into the room, cutting my sentence in half
“Sorry to interrupt, but our patient needs to rest”, she said, repeating her usual innuendo
“Sure, we are done here”, Avery replied.
“If anything comes up contact me, and in any case we’ll talk when you get”, she added, addressing me
“I’ll tell you what I find, if I will find or remember anything”, I replied, and realized from the familiarity in my tone that I liked Avery. Odd how sometimes our gests and words reveal to us how we feel before we process our hidden perceptions, I thought.
She left me with a smile, while the nurse came around to my side table to get the cup of tea that had tuned cold.
“Do you want some more tea?”, she asked
I shook my head and closed my eyes, hoping she would go. When I heard the door click softly I knew she had, and I felt strangely happy. I let myself float, and finally I fell asleep again, the papers filled with my past dream still lying beside me.