Chapter 88
When I phoned Avery I felt there was anxiousness beneath the coolness of her tone, and she didn’t sound happy when I asked if someone could come for me in about an hour. Couldn’t I tell her before I wanted to leave early, she asked, that way she would have let her colleague know. But then she agreed to pass by herself, and I thanked her saying I would have news to share during the ride. Bad or good, she wanted to know. “Let’s talk later”, I said, and we hang up.
I began listlessly reading some science papers, more to use up the time than because I thought I had some use for what I was reading. I couldn’t focus. I felt lethargic, not really sick but uncomfortable, the same way I had in the cafeteria. The beat of my heart seemed irregular. Relax, I told myself, and tried to breath in, breath out slowly, deeply. I checked the time, minutes stretched in an unbearable way. Finally it was ten to four.
“Brad, I’m going”, I said without turning around
“Sure, let’s go”, he replied
But when I got up from the chair the room began spinning and my heart racing hard, so hard it hurt me. I gripped the desk, trying to make myself stable.
“Hey Iris, are you ok?”, I heard Brad say, but I couldn’t see him, black patches covering my vision
I shook my head no
“Sit down”, he said, holding my arm
I stood instead, immobile, and after a moment my vision cleared
“I don’t feel too hot”, I said
“I see that”, Brad frowned
“Ok, let’s try to go downstairs, I’ll be fine once I get home”
“Well, if you say so…I’m glad the detective is coming to get you”, he said with a worried note in his tone
I nodded and walked with Brad downstairs as steadily as I could, wondering if stress alone could be doing this to me.
Avery was in a regular car, waiting at the entrance of the building. I slipped in the car, waving Brad goodbye.
“Let me know how you feel, ok?”, he said before I closed the door
“I’ll be all right, I’ll call”, I said.
It was at the moment I fully realized that soon, very soon, I would lose my best colleague. I’ll miss you buddy, I told him silently, leaning back on the car seat, eyes closed and too battered to react with anger to the mounting sadness.