Five years old, air raids and Hausa men.
27th May 2020.
The Hausa people are coming. That is what my mommy say. That is why they are always throwing bomb every time. Before before, they used to be no bomb. Only us and no sound. Us children know that there is war. But on Sunday, our Chief say the war will not affect us. He say the war is far far away and nobody will disturb Bendel. Our area is south south and the war is between north and east. I don’t know what is north, east or the other one but I am happy that the war is far far away. I want to enjoy televeshon with my friends and enjoy story time with my mother. I also wait for my baba to sleep so that I will hide in my mommy room and she will give me breast to suck. If baba catch me, he will use belt to flog me. That’s why I go in the evening.
Even if I wee wee at home, mama will hide it from Baba. Baba also don’t like when I suck my hand. It is sweet but baba say it is bad. Before the war, Baba say that if I keep sucking my hand, he will not carry me to school. I have not start school yet because if I pass my hand over my head, it will not reach my elbow. I am very short.
But all that one is before before. Now we have build pit behind our house because the bombing bombing is too much. The sound of shell breaking the earth used to cause vibration and make me lose balance. It is hard to sleep and many times, the bombing will make me wee wee at home. Also, food is now scarce. We eat only in the evening. Baba say that it is because of war. Soldier is stealing our crop. They did not join us and plant but they are eating our crop. We did not join them and start fight but how come the war is affecting us too? How come we are fighting in a war that we did not start? I do not understand. The question is hard. No one is around to give me answer. It is like palm kernel. If I use my own teeth to crack it, it will pain my body.
Everything is different and everything is affecting everybody. Even when I want to go to my friend house to play, I will use style and visit when they are pounding yam. The song that the mortar and pestle is singing is crying because the food is small. I will even follow my friend to fetch water. The stream is far and my head always pepper me. But when the food is done, they will not call me. Even the foo foo is small and the soup does not have meat. I pity them. I go back home. At night, they is no tortoise story again. The animals know that we do not gather under the moon to talk about them again. It is paining them. That is why when our hunters go to the bush, they do not see any animals. The animals are not happy with us.
When I use style and go to my mommy room so that she will put breast in my mouth, she slap my hand and my face. She say she have lean and ask me if I want to see her become a broom stick. I cry till the next morning. One day, she see that I wee wee, she did not give me new clothes. She beat me and make me wear my smelling cloth. Mama have change. Just like the way the war is affecting Baba, it is also affecting mama. That is how everything is now. Before before, we used to eat plenty meat but now only Baba eat meat. Me and mama drink garri. I don’t like garri. It make my stomach big and make my shit strong. Iyama. So now everybody build pit behind their house and when the bombing bombing starts, everybody enter the pit. Baba say the pit is bunkaa. The first time he say it, I did not say it well. He beat me and tell me to pronounce it well, I say rubbish again and suck my hand, he beat me and then I say bunkaa. Mama say Baba is not wicked. She say that it is war that is making him angry. But Baba is not fighting in war. He is here with us. I am not understanding.
Now, army people used to enter our village. Some beg for food and some steal food. Baba said these people are the beehafrans. He say they are the east people that is fighting. The beehafran will wait for us to sleep and they steal our food and our men. They used to hide in the bush. They will put green grass and poto poto on their body so that it will be hard and painful to see them. Baba says it is camouflage. I think he means to say that they look like chameleon. That is why we eat only garri in the evening. That is why many of our men are fighting in their camp. The Hausa people want to send the beehafrans away and that is why they send bombing. One day, when we wake up and see letter everywhere in the road. People say that the Hausa use airoplane to drop the letter. It is like commando film. The letter say that we should send the beehafran from our village. The letter say that they are rebels and the Hausa are the federal forces. The letter say the hausa are coming to save us. No, they did not say coming. They say advancing.
Now, everyday everyday, Bombing Bombing. Sometimes, we will sleep in the pit. Baba will bring lappa so that we will not lie down on the floor. One time, we see snake there that is eating rat, Baba kill the snake. But we did not move, we still sleep in the pit. One day, there is no more bombing, they are firing gun instead. Nobody move, we lie down flat on the floor. When we wake up, we see that the Hausa people have enter our village and they have kill the beehafran people. Some of our people that is hiding beehafran also die. If you are walking on the road, you will see fire, smoke and plenty blood. There is blood on the green grass sef. The people have shoot each other and stain the earth. But they will not kill us. Is our chief that tell us. He say we should obey the Hausa people. He say they have power. One hausa man is telling our chief what to say. The man is speaking English and our chief is saying our native language. The man look like commando. I don’t know what is on his trouser. It is red. My thinking tell me that it is palm oil, but it looks like blood.
The hausa people bring food for us. Many food. My mommy push me and run so that she would pack many food from the lorry. Even my daddy is fighting with another man for garri. My daddy tear the man clothes and put sand in the man’s mouth. I want my daddy to leave garri and run for rice and meat but I know that he will beat me if I go and complain. So, I just sit down and suck my hands. That evening, we did not sleep in pit. We sleep in our home. We cook stew that is smelling. It is sweet. I lick my hand. That night, I want to go to my mommy room so that she will give me breast. Since she is happy. But I see Baba using style to enter her room. I wait and wait for Baba to come out, but Baba did not come out till the another morning. The next time that I suck mommy breast, I smell Baba perfume there.
There is no more bombing and shooting and nobody is thieving our crop. But they are still stealing our men. Thank God that I am five. Mama say they carry big boys from fifteen to go and fight in the war and be doing shooting shooting. Mama say they carry her cousin. I know her cousin. His name is Osagie. He always smile and like to do work. When I see mama cry, me too cry. At night, Baba go into her room too to tell her sorry. He did not come out till another morning.
The hausa people build tent where they share food to us. They say we are both victims and collateral of war. They want to help us as long as we remain loyal to Nigeria. On Wednesday and Sunday, mama carry me and we line up to collect food. I see girls coming in and out of another tent. That tent is where the soldiers sleep. I ask mommy that we should join the girls that are entering the tent. Mommy slap me two times. I face front and suck my hand. One time, the curtain of the tent open and I see the commando general and two girls that did not wear anything. they rush rush and close the curtain. Now I see why mommy slap me.
Everything be like it has okay. Like the grass have green and even if elephant jump on it, it will not scatter. Everywhere is silent again and people have start to come out at night to play. Animal is coming out too. Everyone is becoming happy again. But it is temporary. But again, there is shooting and bombing. They say the beehafrans are fighting back. And soon, there is bombing again. We go back and start sleeping in our pit. Everyone start sleeping in pit again. There is snake in pit, but we kill snake, eat snake and sleep in pit. I stop going to my friend house because he stop giving me food too. I stay in my house and drink my garri till my stomach start going big again and my neck start to reduce. Baba stop going to mama room and mama start slapping me when I tell her I want to suck breast. The hausa pack and leave one by one and the beehafrans come. They start to steal again.