Chapter One
Carmen Pulock hunkered down into her heavy chore coat and scooted her chair closer to the potbellied stove. The wooden chair legs grated against the rough hardwood floor, echoing off the bare walls of her sparsely furnished living room. She clamped a rubber booted foot over a new knothole in the floor. Another place for a tin can lid. Not that it could keep the cold outside. The frigid air would simply sneak under the house and ooze up through the cracks in the floor. A rug would help, but it wouldn’t stop the wind from climbing the insulationless walls or seeping through the gaps around the mopboards. Winters in Northwest Arkansas were usually mild, but this was the coldest in her memory.
“Happy Birthday,” she muttered bitterly. Nothing seemed to be working out lately - not the dairy, and certainly not her love life.
The stove popped an angry protest about the growing flames and she flinched. The cantankerous old piece of junk. It would be another hour before the room was warm enough to hide her breath. Meanwhile, the wind whistled around the eaves and rattled the plastic covering on the windows, persistently seeking a port of entry. The ancient farmhouse needed repair - or a demolition crew. Neither of which she could afford. The house and eighty wild acres of Arkansas hills and hollows she had recently inherited represented her total wealth. Well, almost. But every dime spent on the house meant that much less she could invest in the dairy - and the dairy was the one thing that stood a chance of stimulating her anemic savings account. If the dairy didn’t prove profitable, she would have to go back to Wal-Mart. Working for someone else wasn’t her idea of a career. Besides, if the dairy went belly up, it would please Josh too much.
A door slammed down the hall and Katie sprinted into the room, hugging herself. Her words were barely comprehensible through chattering teeth as she leaned over the stove.
“Wh. . .en d. . d. . id it . . t go out?
“Huh? Oh, the stove?” Carmen made a face. “I don’t know. I was so tired last night I didn’t even wake up to add wood. I had to break an icicle off my lip this morning when I woke up.”
Katie giggled. “Only you would think of such a thing.” Blue eyes sparkled like sapphires in her round face, and a dimple danced at the corner of her generous mouth. She leaned down; peering through the soot smudged glass on the stove door. “It looks like it’s starting to burn good.” She straightened and spread plump hands out toward the stove. “Alex sure picked a fine time to visit, didn’t he?”
There was no good time for Katie’s brother to visit, but this had to be the worst. Frozen water pipes and unheated bedrooms had to be something new for a wealthy socialite. Surely Katie must realize he would be slumming it - and why. Carmen grabbed a chunk of wood from the box and jerked the stove door open. She tossed the fuel in and slammed the door before sparks could hop out on the stove pad.
“If he had the sense God gave a goose, he’d stay in Houston until spring.”
Katie rolled her eyes. “Spring will be too late to witness the kidding. Anyway, he studied veterinary medicine for three years. All that education might come in handy if we have trouble.”
Carmen eyed Katie sourly. “That was nearly seven years ago. I imagine he’s forgotten half of the information, and the other half is probably outdated. I don’t want him practicing on my hand picked stock. I can’t afford to loose any of them at this point. If we need help, we can hire a real vet.”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Carmen, they’re goats, not race horses.” At Carmen’s sharp look, she shrugged. “Anyway, we could use a man around the place for a while.”
Alex wasn’t likely to be much help with the farm, but it wouldn’t do any good to argue the point with Katie. Let her find out when he arrived. Carmen ran bluntly manicured fingers through her cropped off curls as her tongue explored a new crack in her dry lips.
“Josh is all the help we need, and he’s right down the road.” Actually, Josh was more than she needed, and Katie was more than she could afford.
Katie gnawed on her lower lip and let her gaze shift to a watermark on the yellowed wallpaper. “Yeah, but you two haven’t seen much of each other lately, and . . .”
“That’s what I thought,” Carmen interrupted caustically, and gave the wood box a swift kick. “You’re trying to play matchmaker again, aren’t you?”
Blue eyes flashed in a face staining quickly with red. “Of course not. I told you it was his idea to come up to see me.”
Carmen pushed away from the warming stove and stood. “And if you’d gone down there one of the zillion times he’s invited you in the last two years, he wouldn’t feel obligated to come up now.”
Katie scowled. “I wish you’d get out of this black mood you’ve been in lately. Last month you said it would be fine if he came up for a visit. Don’t you think it’s a little late to back out now? He’s probably already on the plane.”
Carmen took a deep breath and let it out slowly. How could she explain her mood to Katie when she had so little understanding of it herself? At any rate, Katie was right. It was too late to change her mind now - and what difference did it make why Alex was coming? At least he was finally making an effort to see his sister - and Katie was actually excited about his visit. Didn’t they know how fortunate they were to have each other - to have any family? She headed for the door, tossing a grumpy reply over her shoulder.
“I’m not backing out. But he’s going to miss the telephone and television -- and that tiny bedroom upstairs isn’t exactly the Hotel Hilton.”
Katie rolled her eyes. “Oh Carmen, just because he’s wealthy doesn’t mean he’s a preppie.” She shrugged into her coat. “Anyway, I suppose I owe him something for the three years he bossed me around. Especially considering the way I deserted him after graduation.”
Carmen paused with her hand on the doorknob. Inviting Alex to visit this farm sounded more like a payback than a gesture of appreciation.
“I know you think he was high handed about it, but as your guardian, it was his responsibility to encourage you to get a good education. After all, didn’t you say your parents left a will dedicating money for that purpose? You said he quit college to take care of you. Obviously he thought . . .”
“I cheated him out of his chance at a good education?” Katie cut in defensively.
“Obviously he thought family ties were more important than education,” Carmen persisted. “Anyway, there’s nothing stopping him from finishing school now if he’s still interested in becoming a veterinarian. The truth is, he probably likes being a salesman, and why not? He travels all over the world and makes enough money to do it in style. He has everything.”
Katie contemplated Carmen with eyes wiser than her twenty years. “Not everything. Money can’t buy love.”
Carmen sighed impatiently. “Neither can poverty.”
The last thing she wanted to hear this morning was how poor little Alex had been jilted at the altar. Alex had a lot going for him. If he was having problems finding a virtuous mate, fault more likely lay in a character flaw than his looks - as Katie had so often implied. Being ugly as a mud fence hadn’t stopped Alex from becoming a financial success. And being attractive hadn’t improved her life much. Carmen jerked the door open and gasped at the rush of frigid air.
“And he doesn’t have to do chores in all kinds of weather,” she concluded with a shiver.
They darted outside and closed the door before the room lost the little warmth it had gained. The wind yanked Carmen’s hair with icy fingers. She pulled her hood up against its furious roar. Ahead of her, Katie stepped off the wooden porch into the ankle high snow and followed the trail Carmen had broken earlier on her trip to light the stove in the dairy. The sun wouldn’t be up for another hour, but the block walls of the dairy loomed clearly in the white landscape. The snow crunched under their feet and the icy wind carried Katie’s words back in a cloud of steam.
“I didn’t run off just because he wanted me to go to college, you know. I left because he’s a smothering mother hen. Always telling me what to do - ordering me around. That may be your idea of an ideal relationship, but I had to get away from him if I was going to have a life of my own.”
Carmen took a few extra steps to catch up with Katie’s stride. A life of her own? Katie had gone directly from Alex to her Aunt Polly. When her aunt had died, Katie had moved in with Carmen. It was hard to imagine Katie conducting her life without the help of others. No wonder Alex concocted this ridiculous trip to coax Katie back to Houston. He had his work cut out for him, though. Katie might have been brought up by a socialite, but she was all redneck now. There was only one thing Katie treasured more than the farm. Bill Carlson, co-owner of Carl & Son’s Feed Store. Fortunately, Bill was equally smitten with Katie. Yeah, sometimes it actually worked out that way.
Carmen eyed Katie coolly and responded in a dry tone.
“Being bossed around isn’t my idea of marital bliss. I don’t want to be completely dominated. I know it’s an archaic idea for a woman to want the man to wear the pants, but I’m entitled to my opinion the same as you and Lori. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be cherished and protected. For the right man, I’m willing to turn over the running of the farm and become his helpmate. After all, it worked for Mom and Dad.”
Katie laughed without humor. “Yeah, but your mother and father were from a different generation. Being subservient is taking a backward step for women.”
Carmen shook her head. “I have no intention of being subservient - and how is that taking a backward step, anyway? I think it was a backward step when women started stooping to the morals of men.”
Katie breathed a heavy sigh of resignation. “All right, all right. Do me a favor and don’t climb back up on your soapbox. Anyway, you don’t know what it’s like to have a bossy brother. Then again, you did have Josh. Obviously he isn’t as overbearing as Alex.”
“Give Alex a break. Being left in charge of your kid sister when you’re not much more than a kid yourself isn’t a fair test. I don’t know anything about your brother - except the fact that he got you through school. Considering the things you say you did, that was an accomplishment in itself. Josh never had to deal with anything like that. He appointed himself as my big brother . . . when we were still toddlers, I think. The worst of it is, now he thinks he has some kind of claim staked on me. The way I figure it, he’s more in love with the idea of having a woman worship him than he is with me. Sure, he says he wants a woman who doesn’t work out of the home, but he thinks she should spend all her time doing housework and raising children. I didn’t get a degree in animal husbandry so I could sit in the house knitting booties.”
They paused in front of the dairy door and Katie stared down at Carmen in surprise. “That’s a strange thing to come from your lips. I thought having children was your greatest dream.”
“It is, but it isn’t my only dream. I haven’t given up on that horse ranch dream yet. The trouble is; Josh doesn’t care what I want. That’s obvious by the way he acts about the goats. Do you know he actually gave me an ultimatum? Either the goats or him.”
Katie jerked on the dairy door and the crack of frozen boards echoed in the pregnant silence. She stared at Carmen. “Imagine that,” she finally said dryly. “I wondered what you two weren’t talking about. If it’s that important to him, why don’t you just sell the goats? I’m the one who talked you into this goat dairy business.”
“It isn’t about the goats.” Carmen threw her hands in the air. “Oh, never mind.”
Why did she waste the breath discussing this matter with Katie? Much as she liked Katie, they were miles apart in their opinions and dreams. She ducked under Katie’s arm and entered the dairy.
Katie followed her into the dairy and closed the door against the wind. “If you’re so displeased with Josh, why don’t you shop around some?”
Carmen laughed shortly. “Like Josh would let me. Anyway, none of the guys are interested - and if they were, Josh would see to it that they became uninterested.”
Katie stared at her. “You sound like you’ve given the idea a lot of thought.” When Carmen didn’t respond, Katie shrugged, “Anyway, there are plenty of guys interested. You are right about one thing, though. They figure Josh is tough competition - but do you really think Josh could scare them off if they knew you were interested?”
Who else was interested? Not that it mattered. She wasn’t much in the mood for shopping around anyway. As a matter of fact, she was starting to think that her idea of the right man was nothing more than a pipe dream. Was she setting her sights too high? She sighed heavily.
“There aren’t plenty of guys around here.” She shrugged. “All of which is neither here nor there. The last thing I want is to have men fighting over me.”
“Oh, great. Then stay single the rest of your life. You’ve got a good start on it now.”
Carmen blinked. “I’m only twenty-five. What about your brother? He’s what - thirty-five? He’s not married yet. Harp at him for a while. Give me a rest.”
“He’s not quite thirty. And anyway he’s not interested in getting married. You are. If you keep on waiting, you’re going to be having children in your fifties, like your parents. That’s why you’re alone now.” Katie shook her head in dismay. “What’s so terrible about Josh, anyway? He just happens to be the most eligible bachelor in Benton County. Not to mention the best looking man I’ve ever laid eyes on. Lori’s been drooling over him for years. If you don’t want him, why don’t you throw him back so she can have a chance at catching him?”
It wasn’t that she didn’t want Josh. But shouldn’t there be magic in his kiss? Sure, she loved him, but not in the wild and crazy way girls did in the romance stories. Maybe that kind of love didn’t exist. Or maybe that kind of excitement existed only in newfound relationships. She and Josh had always known each other. No, that wasn’t the only problem. Josh wasn’t exactly the romantic type - nor was she. Still, it sure would be nice to have someone open doors, send flowers, and compliment her on a nice dress or a job well done. Why couldn’t Josh express his feelings for her in some way besides jealousy?
Carmen jerked her arm out of the coat sleeve. “Josh wants to wear the pants, but he doesn’t have much respect for a subservient woman. He says women should stay home and watch the kids, but I’ve heard him talk about some of the girls that do. He says they’re too lazy to work.”
Katie shrugged. “Some of them are. They got married so they wouldn’t have to work. It’s different with you. You have the goats.”
Carmen slammed her hands on her hips and raised her brows at Katie.
“And he wants me to get rid of them. I rest my case.”
Katie sighed. “So help him with his farm, start your horse ranch. What an opportunity! When you combine your property with his, you’ll have over two hundred acres.”
Carmen groaned. “Are we talking about a marriage or a dynasty?”
Carmen wiggled out of her coat and hung it on the rack. Why couldn’t Katie understand that there was a principle involved? Josh didn’t know about the horse ranch, and she wasn’t about to tell him - not as long as he was holding the goats over her head like a club. For all he knew, the goats were her greatest dream. If he was so determined to crush that dream, how could she trust him with her future happiness?
“You know,” she continued as she scooped grain into a stanchion, “it really galls me that Josh is always encouraging Lori with her work, but he never misses an opportunity to belittle mine.
Katie tossed her coat at the rack and watched anxiously as the pole danced around the concrete floor before settling down.
“Oh, I wouldn’t take it personally. He can understand a career in real estate. Goats are a mystery to him - not to mention an embarrassment. Everyone teases him, you know - Josh and the goat lady. You know how he hates to be cut out of the herd.”
“I know, and that’s another thing that bothers me. What’s wrong with being different? Everyone admires a person who does their own thing - as long as it’s cool.” She strode across the room to the stainless steel sink. “I’m going to make this dairy a success if it kills me.” She turned on the faucet, plunging her hands under the icy stream of water and gasped. “And it just might.”
Katie joined her at the sink. “You’re so competitive. Which is more important? Proving you can make this dairy profitable, or enjoying your work?”
Carmen caught her breath and stared at Katie. “I enjoy my work. And I’m not competitive. I’m conscientious. If you’re going to do a job, you might as well do it right.”
Katie took the towel from Carmen’s hands. “Do tell,” she responded dryly. She wiped her hands and tossed the towel on the counter. “All the same, you’d better take a good, long look at what you’re thinking about giving up.”
Carmen picked up the towel and hung it on the rack. “I’d be less than honest if I said the security Josh can offer wasn’t tempting - that and the idea of having an instant family. His folks were there when I was born and they’re like second parents to me, but I’m not going to marry Josh because I’m lonely and poor.”
Katie opened the barn door and let four goats into the dairy. They sprinted across the floor and leaped up to the elevated platforms, poking their soft muzzles into the stanchions to gobble the grain. Katie glanced at Carmen.
“So what kind of man are you looking for?”
“I’m not looking for a man,” Carmen answered sullenly as she examined the first doe for signs of impending birth.
“Okay,” Katie responded amiably as she worked with another doe. “Just for the sake of conversation, what kind of man would appeal to you?”
What kind of man? Carmen shrugged. “Well for starters, I’d want a man to be taller than me.”
Katie’s eyes twinkled. “That shouldn’t be hard to find.” She sobered. “But seriously, there are a lot of women who love men shorter than them. Does physical appearance make so much difference?”
Carmen frowned. “I don’t give a hoot what he looks like. I just don’t want our kids to go through life being teased about being short.”
Katie nodded. “I guess so, but I wonder sometimes if heredity is the major factor. I mean, look at Alex and I. We’re both short, and both Mom and Dad were average height.” She hesitated, as if wanting to elaborate and then shrugged.
No doubt Katie was going to say something about short people and thought better of it for fear of hurting feelings. Still, there must have been someone in the family who was short. Never having met Alex or any other members of the family besides their Aunt Polly, it was hard to guess. Aunt Polly wasn’t exactly tall.
“Whatever,” Carmen finally replied. “Other than that, I’d want a man who was confident and assertive.”
Katie laughed. “So you’ve just described Josh.”
Carmen wrinkled her nose. “Oh, and one more thing - religious . . . and understanding.”
“That’s two more . . . and too much. Josh is religious, but there aren’t many men who would claim to understand women. Are you sure you wouldn’t settle for tall, dark and handsome?”
Carmen sighed heavily. “I know, Josh.”
Katie shrugged and turned her palms up in resignation. “I’m just trying to pry your eyes open.”
Carmen continued to work with the goat. Her eyes were wide open - probably for the first time in her life. Open enough to see that Josh would be a fine catch . . . for someone.
She tried to focus on the job at hand. It would be at least four more weeks before the dairy would be in full production again, but each goat received a ration of oats and corn as well as a thorough examination. It was a ritual they had been performing morning and night for the past two weeks. The brief winter rest was over and the grueling days of spring and summer were in the near future.
Into this chaos, Katie had invited her sophisticated brother. The supply of chevon and chicken in the freezer was getting low, but they still had plenty of home canned corn and green beans. He was bound to be bored, cold and disappointed. The best she could hope for was that he wouldn’t spend much time in the dairy.
They completed the morning chores and then Katie headed out to pick up her brother at the airport. Carmen held the gate open as the old truck sputtered through - and then died.
Carmen tapped on the window and Katie rolled it down.
“Are you sure you can handle this thing on snow?”
Katie laughed shortly as she whirled the motor over and pumped the accelerator. “This thing wouldn’t be easy to handle on a red carpet, but I think I can make it all right. The snow is getting mushy. If I don’t get stuck in the mud, I should be able to make it to the highway.”
The engine turned over and backfired, black smoke frothing out of the tail pipe. Katie scraped gears and smirked through her hand.
“See you in a little while.”
Carmen glanced up at the sky. The clouds were breaking up and the wind had switched around to the south. It was a good twenty degrees warmer than when they got up this morning and the snow was even beginning to melt - a sure thing to bring on kidding.
“Well, be careful. If you have any problems, call Josh. You have his number, don’t you?”
“I have it. But if I make it to the airport, I’m sure Alex can handle anything after that. No need to rout Josh out and make him drive 60 miles for nothing.”
Carmen nodded. She wished she could share Katie’s faith in her brother, but the only picture she could summons was a short, pale, overweight man with more brains for business than aptitude in mechanics. Why that picture settled into her brain, she couldn’t say. The only picture Katie had of her family was an old family photo. Alex was an obvious six-year-old with two missing front teeth. Katie was an infant. Surely she had other pictures, but for the time being, Katie wasn’t displaying them. When Carmen asked if she had more current pictures of her family, Katie grew sullen. Hopefully she hadn’t thrown away all her pictures in a fit of anger. Since Katie had invited him up several times, she had obviously matured enough to forgive him.
Carmen closed the gate and sloshed back to the barn. The goats were going to need more hay and alfalfa pellets. After that the chickens needed to be fed and she needed to get that chevon roast in the oven so it would be ready for lunch. They had some canned peaches left. Did Alex like peach pie?
An hour later she was back in the barn, - and just in time. Two of the goats had gone into labor. She transferred them to the building on the release side of the dairy where they had set up temporary kidding stalls. She forked some hay into each of the stalls and checked the herd again. Two of the does had hollow looking stomachs and their udders were shiny. Better keep an eye on them. She returned to the first stall to find two new arrivals and another on the way. Everything looked normal, so she gave the doe her privacy. In the next stall the goat was laying on her side, straining . . . could be a problem there.
She hurried to the house and checked the roast. The pie was done, so she put it on the counter to cool. Pouring some coffee into a thermos, she headed for the barn again. Katie should be back soon.
The warm wind assisted the sun in melting the snow and most of it was already gone, leaving a trail of sloppy mud to the barn. Inside the dairy she shucked her coat and rubber boots, slipping into a pair of western boots she always kept in the barn. Abandoning her thermos on the counter, she stoked the fire and returned to the kidding stalls.
Three pair of blue eyes stared back at her from the first stall. Tiny pink cleft muzzles lifted in a cute imitation of their mother’s broken cry of joy. Each cleansing lick from the doe nearly knocked them off their feet, but they staggered close to her for more nourishment.
An agonizing bleat from the next stall indicated all was not well there. Carmen moved to the next stall to find the doe lying on her side, pawing at the ground and panting. As the doe strained, one tiny hoof emerged - and then disappeared as the contraction subsided. One hoof? Two hoofs and a nose should be the proper presentation. Was something wrong?
Carmen entered the stall and knelt beside the doe. “Come on girl,” she said, tugging on the collar. “Get on your feet. It’ll be easier that way.”
The doe lurched to her feet and immediately went into another contraction. Squatting, the doe strained again and one hoof presented again, only to disappear again after the contraction ended.
What did the books say to do in this situation? Elevate the rear, wasn’t it? That way the kid could reposition naturally. She tugged on the back end of the goat, but that method was obviously going to take someone much taller. Maybe if she made the doe kneel. She tugged at each front foot until the goat was on her knees, her hind end in the air. But that lasted no more than a few minutes before the doe dropped to the ground and strained with another contraction. Had it been long enough?
Within seconds the one hoof was visible again and the doe was screaming in agony. What now? Manually reposition the kid inside the doe? Something she had only read about. And where was that book? Oh yes, with all the emergency supplies they had gathered for this occasion.
Racing to the dairy, she jerked out a drawer and removed the book, some disposable gloves, a pair of scissors, some cord and a bottle of iodine. She slammed the drawer shut and crammed the supplies into her arms. Where was Katie? She should be here by now. Alex might or might not be able to help. At any rate, he might not find the task at hand as unpleasant as she anticipated it would be. If he did, at least one of them could go call for help.
She darted back to the kidding stall and knelt beside the goat again. The goat was still on her side, pawing the ground with her forelegs and bleating miserably as she strained in vain. The poor thing. She must be in agony. Maybe it would be a good idea to run down to Josh’s place and call the vet. But there wasn’t time right now.
Carmen flipped through the book to the part on kidding problems and scanned down the directions. Fighting down a wave of nausea, she kneeled at the tail of the goat. This was no time to get squeamish. She tugged the gloves on and waited until the contraction passed. Taking a deep breath, she hesitantly inserted her hand into the birth canal and carefully slid it along the tiny leg until she felt the muzzle. Where was the other leg? And then she felt another soft hoof. Her fingers explored the leg, feeling for a hock to make sure it wasn’t a hind leg. Reaching under the tiny limb with a finger, she gently pulled the leg forward.
“Carmen?” Katie called through the open door of the dairy. “Where are you?”
“In here . . . in the second kidding stall. Hurry.”
Carmen stood and backed away as the doe lurched to her feet and went into another contraction. This time both legs presented and then the little pink nose. The doe cried out again and heaved, expelling the tiny body.
“Finally,” Carmen said with a sigh, glancing up at Katie. “I thought . . .”
Her entire thought train derailed as she gaped at the man beside Katie. Could this hunk be Katie’s brother?
Soft chocolate eyes regarded her with veiled humor and his mouth held the promise of a smile. The bronze features were smooth and perfectly formed - almost too perfect, and yet, not effeminate. His black curly hair was cut short, every hair in place. His angular jaws were freshly shaven. He was lean, with broad shoulders, narrow hips and a flat abdomen. His gray suit looked expensive and the silk tie added a touch of elegance. Michael Angelo couldn’t have created anything better.
Carmen clamped her sagging jaw shut and tore her gaze from him, an uncomfortable warmth flooding her neck and face. She glued her attention on the doe, which was now licking life into her infant. Carmen pealed the gloves from her hands and tried to make her voice sound casual.
“The kid had one leg caught back underneath it. For a little while there I was afraid I might have to go for help.”
“You’ve done this before, I presume?”
The warm baritone voice induced a fresh bout of blushing. She laughed nervously.
“Then you presumed wrong.” She retrieved the book from the floor, along with all the other supplies. “I think she can handle the rest, though.”