Hilde worked nonstop whenever she appeared, and then retired to her room. The couple went to town together, shopping for groceries or the never-ending requirements of tools, supplies, spare parts, organic fertilizer, fruit bushes, paint, and dog food. They adapted and enjoyed a few local specialties, such as the inexpensive camembert cheese that could be eaten with oil, vinegar, some onion bits, salt, and pepper. Bakeries produced a delicate kind of rye bread, which Walter liked with butter and homemade plum jam.
One day, as she worked like a horse, Hilde told Walter to scrub the corridor. He declined because two people were already cleaning the kitchen floor. She stayed grouchy all day long; her mother wanted to know if the dogs were gone and if Walter had a job. After five hours of scooping dirt, he did not feel like scrubbing but regretted that they seemed unable to talk to each other about anything. To ease his own concerns about income and future, as well as to show Hilde and her mother that he exerted himself, Walter paid a visit to the unemployment office in the county seat to list himself as unemployed and receive some benefits.
A lot of activity occurred in reference to their friends and potential cohabitants. Percy sent a letter reporting that she had visited a commune of Ananda Marga in Bavaria, a self-realization and personal-development group whose leader spent time in prison for allegedly conspiring to murder other members of the group.
Gaspar remained on the farm for a few days, mainly to fix his aging Citroën GS. On his previous visit, he had persuaded Percy to write down one of his stories for the duration of his stay. On each occasion, he left the place in a mess and did not even ask whether he could add something to the household budget or buy any food. He also conveyed that he had been in a financial drought for some time and could not put anything in the communal money pool that month. Gerhard was also experiencing a financial crisis, which included outstanding debt from the past for which his sales job provided insufficient income to pay back and at the same time maintain his current expenses.
From time to time, Walter went to Frankfurt to pick up an item they could use after the birth, such as a braided wood basket that had been used as cradle a few times before and to which wheels and a pole for a canopy could be attached. After one of these trips, a team in two vehicles made their way from Frankfurt back to the farm, loaded with carpets, dogs, dog food, lots of detergent, and people. Hilde appeared to settle down and chill out to a certain extent. She again looked directly at Walter while talking, as if something changed in her that allowed her to tolerate him again. Gerhard dropped Irene off at the airport, where she flew to New York City. He said that was OK with him, that he felt somewhat liberated after she left and could now concentrate more on the country project.
Walter enjoyed his visits to the city; so much happened there. He picked up wallpaper on sale at a large department store, and then went to see a movie for the first time in months. After the show, he walked down to the second level of the Frankfurter Hauptwache subway station. He wanted to see and feel the scenery of the city, look at the kiosk with ads and information about what went on.
Hilde’s round, stretched belly broadcasted the imminent joyful arrival of an additional housemate. She dressed in self-made woolen trousers or jeans that stretched at the waist. It had been cold, sunny, and windy recently, and the dogs enjoyed excursions into the surrounding woods, running, hiding in the bushes, and jumping onto frozen puddles, making clinking sounds on the ice.
The cultural and political atmosphere in the nonmainstream environment was shifting slowly and noticeably. Those who might have been stone throwing, hooded activists two or three years earlier now looked to other ways to bring about change. The women’s liberation movement gained in voice and strength, and some men also tried to look inside themselves for the first time. Teachers and techniques of Eastern cultures to achieve self-realization counted more and more followers.
Gaspar and Erzebet volunteered in the Frankfurt university surroundings where a group of people published a weekly news information service. Whenever Walter met them in the country or in the Westendstrasse apartment, he learned in depth about the latest scandals and movements on the political scene. He maintained his routine of meditation before sleeping and his studies of Aurobindo’s book.
One night, an emergency phone call came from Gaspar in Frankfurt who was feeling helpless and overextended taking care of Erzebet. Recently she had been on the edge, and nobody knew exactly what caused it. Her status as a refugee in Germany, the course of studies that might have reached an impasse, her worries about sufficient income, her relationship with Gaspar, the generally strained international political situation, as well as the always-present fascistic elements in the German society—one or all could have been issues. She had not slept or eaten for days and looked very frail and skinny, which made Gaspar extremely concerned about her. Her inability to make decisions and her anxieties about the future prompted him to ask for help and for Hilde to come to Frankfurt. After the two women talked, he wanted to see what Hilde thought about bringing Erzebet to the country. During the next few days, she improved somewhat.
When everybody went to Frankfurt for the final move of Hilde’s belongings and Walter opened the apartment door, Erzebet stood in the doorway with wide-open eyes and a grimace on her face. When she saw Walter enter, she moved her hands to her mouth, and when he said, “Hello, Erzebet,” she began sobbing without tears. Her petite, skinny body quivered from emotional surges.
She turned away from Walter toward the wall and yelled, “Oh god, oh god.”
Walter was shocked, and Gaspar and Hilde next to him started talking to Erzebet. They tried to calm her by assuring her that they all were friends and she could trust them.
Erzebet, unable to control her emotions or to think anything coherent, said, “Last night I killed the child; everything is finished.”
Gaspar tried with humor and in Hungarian to explain the real situation. His efforts appeared to cause a gradual improvement in Erzebet, but no smile appeared on her lips; a dull gaze in her eyes and a constricted mouth indicated that the mayhem within her continued. When the friend with a truck arrived next day, despite her objections that “nothing makes any sense,” Erzebet moved temporarily, together with a dresser, cartons, stove, bags, and a stainless-steel sink, into the country house.
She improved significantly in this environment, especially with the help of some homeopathic medications prescribed by an anthroposophical physician.
Shortly thereafter, when everything settled down again, Walter and Hilde realized that out of the six originally active members of the group, only three were left. Percy decided to join an Ananda Marga group as soon as her travel agency job ended.
During the time when Charlie Chaplin was knighted by Queen Elizabeth II and King Faisal of Saudi Arabia was shot by his nephew, Walter noticed flies appear in his room and birds chirping all over the village. When he looked over the fields, he spotted many raised skylarks standing in the sky.
Walter met with the representative of a private health-insurance company in the farmhouse kitchen, with Hilde attending as well. As the director of the state headquarters in Frankfurt, the friendly man needed to fill the position of an agent for the district where Walter lived. Having the meeting at Walter’s place had the advantage for the director, who could gain a valuable impression of the job applicant’s situation, and for Walter, who had the convenience of not having to travel to Frankfurt. An instant sympathy developed on both sides. The visitor noticed Hilde’s belly and considered Walter’s obligation to find work almost immediately. Walter sensed that the man’s interests included more than pure profit seeking, which permitted a straightforward and positive conversation. Walter met the prerequisites for the job, agreed to the conditions of a potential work contract, and filled out and sent his application back to Frankfurt. Soon he was hired to start training in a few weeks. The opportunity seemed perfect because after the initial training in Frankfurt, his work involved traveling within a fifty-kilometer radius of his home to visit customers.
Even though spring had started, it hailed so hard during a beautiful walk through the woods with the dogs and everybody else that the ice stayed on the ground. The next two days, the sunshine appeared so promising that the team decided to start building a garden fence by purchasing posts in a nearby village. The actual embedding of the poles had to wait for another day due to a heavy snowstorm.
Hilde’s due date arrived; her suitcase stood ready.
Easter holidays resulted in a full house. Gaspar came with two women, Erzebet and his aunt from Hungary. Jutta from Munich brought along her young, classical-guitar-playing boyfriend. Erzebet still careened in and out of madness, saying her presence in the farmhouse would not be proper because she took too much energy out of it. Whenever she left the room, long and impetuous discussions occurred about how to treat mentally challenged people. Walter was shocked to learn Gaspar’s position that he vehemently defended committing people immediately in such situations; he did not feel comfortable enough to help someone alone by himself. Walter, of course reminded of his own experience some years ago, could not defend a committal. Jutta knew that Gaspar had a girlfriend and implied that Erzebet knew about it instinctively, causing the continuation of her calamity. Hilde said he should not tell Erzebet, and then another discussion would start about whether or not to tell.
The rich, eventful holidays came to an end with an ambience of contentment in the house and in Walter. People slowly left, went on their own ways. Gerhard and Jutta remained at the house, along with the expectant couple. April Fools’ Day arrived along with sunshine. When Hilde and Walter got out of bed late, they were able to sit on the bench in front of the house, enjoying the warmth on their bodies. They watched the traffic on the country road pass by for a while. Huge basalt rock transporters went through the village, coming from or going to the quarry nearby and raising a lot of dust and noise. Cigarette-delivery trucks, urgent medical-supply vans, plumber and bricklayer crews in Volkswagen buses, midsize livestock wagons all passed by on the road.
During the first half of the next night, Walter observed that Hilde was quite fidgety next to him in the bed. At four o’clock in the morning, she felt indications of faint contractions. At six o’clock, Walter took her to the hospital in Gerhard’s car. The nurse assigned a two-bed, first-class room to her because of a crowded childbed station.
“Now please say good-bye to each other, and you undress but do not unpack your suitcase,” the nurse said to Hilde and told Walter he should call around noon.
At noon, there were no developments, and he was told to call back at four o’clock. Gerhard had to leave, and no backup vehicle was available. Jutta and Walter made their way by foot along the edge of the forest and then cross-country for about three miles, passing the youth hostel and train station, and then they stopped at the flower shop and bought a link cactus with red blossoms. They arrived with some delay at Hilde’s room in the hospital, where they found her still radiant looking, with a thick belly under the white bedcover. She had just concluded her third nap after being examined by the midwife, who found that the cervix had not opened yet. They waited for stronger contractions, and then visiting hours ended. Hilde looked very beautiful in bed while combing her black hair and walked her visitors out of the room to the station door.
Later that night Hilde gave birth to a healthy baby girl. The following day in the afternoon, Walter crossed the forest and fields again and saw his daughter for the first time. The maternity ward nurse drew the curtain behind the window in the middle of the long corridor and held the baby in her arms. For two minutes, Walter could admire the new little human with black hair and wonderfully perfect fingernails. No wrinkles, shrivels, or other external flaws—just perfection, with dark eyes already looking around. Walter thought she smiled at him, and then his turn at the window ended.