I didn’t know what to do. I laid on the bed looking at the ceiling. I was counting the minutes until day break. I got up and turned off the lights. I thought it would help me sleep. I laid on my side and stared at the window. I imagined other cities, people, and life beyond this dreadful place. Will I ever see it? Is it real? How are people living? Are they happy or sad? Are they technologically advanced? Do they have these animals called dogs?
I felt happy just thinking about that possibility. I wondered if Boris thought the same. Was he ever happy with his life? He seemed alone and very distant. Did he like being in power? He didn’t seem he did and it looked like it was more a responsibility than a lifestyle. He seemed happier I was on his side now and helping him. It’s like he was waiting for me.
I felt I was dozing off, and suddenly, I heard the door open. I saw Boris’s shadow. He walked quietly and I whispered, “Boris?” He stopped and turned the lights on. He said, “Lina, why aren’t you asleep?”
I said, “I tried to sleep.”
He sighed, turned the lights off and said, “I’m too tired to discuss this with you.”
He seemed sad and a little irritated. I said, “Is everything ok?”
He didn’t reply. He sat next to me on the edge of the bed and took his shoes off. He laid down on his side facing the other way. I said, “Umm, Boris?”
He said, “Lina. Please sleep.”
I wanted to find out what was wrong. I got closer behind his back and wrapped my arms around his waist. I placed my head near his and said, “Will you tell me what’s wrong with you now?”
He didn’t reply and his eyes stayed closed. Was he asleep? I didn’t know what else to do. I stayed in my spot and didn’t feel like asking anymore. Boris moved his hand on top my mine and clasped it. He said, “Don’t leave me again.”
I hesitated and said, “I won’t.”
It seemed he was asleep now and my head felt heavy. I fell asleep too.
The sun rays felt like they were burning half my face. I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling. I looked around and Boris wasn’t there. I raised myself up, and Boris came out of the bathroom wearing a different military outfit. It was darker with blue lining on the shirt cuffs. I said, “Good morning.”
He came close to me, placed his hands on the bed and kissed my lips. He said, “Morning. Do you feel better today?”
I nodded and smiled. I said, “Can I leave this room today?”
He said, “Yes. This room is depressing anyways. Who wants to stay here?”
I said, “You.”
He laughed and said, “I never bothered. They put me here ten years ago and I didn’t want to upgrade.”
I said, “Why?”
He said, “Nothing motivated me.”
I pursed my lips, stared at him and he said, “Did I say anything upsetting?”
I said, “You are hopeless.” I raised myself off the bed and stood up. I walked towards the bags and took out a military outfit. Boris said, “I think it fits you. You’re a little tall though.”
I said, “Look who’s talking.”
I went to the bathroom and changed my clothes. I went back out and grabbed my boots. I put them on and Boris leaned on the wall and looked at me. I said, “This is not interesting.” He didn’t say anything and kept staring. I sighed and said, “Something about you irritates me.”
He said, “What’s that?”
I said, “You’re silence.”
He said, “I don’t talk as much as you. Is that wrong?”
I said, “No. But you have to answer when spoken to.”
He said, “What if I don’t want to reply?”
I said, “That’s rude.”
He said, “Rude? I don’t have to answer to everything.”
I said, “When I ask you then you do without any questions.”
He eyed me and didn’t say anything. I said, “Is that a yes or no?”
He said, “Fine. If it makes you happy.”
I smiled and said, “Good. We are communicating better now.”
He smiled and said, “Grab your gun.” I grabbed it and placed it on my waist. He said, “Let’s go.”
I followed him out of the room, walked down the hallway and down the stairs. Instead of going out, he turned right and said, “The cafeteria is on this floor.”
I said, “What time is it? Isn’t it early?”
He said, “07:00 am. Everyone’s awake.”
I walked behind him and he opened a wide double door. I stared and there were four rows of long tables with benches. There were few people sitting, eating and conversing. Boris passed by and they nodded. I smiled back and followed Boris to a table filled with food at the front. I said, “Most of it is fruits and vegetables.”
He said, “Most of the food we have is from the garden. We have a small starchy variety we received from Triangle, but we are running out. We use it sparingly.”
I said, “It’s ok. At least it’s healthy.”
He nodded and looked sad. I asked, “What’s wrong?”
He said, “We can’t keep living like this. The supplies are running out. No building materials. Barely any operational trucks left.”
I said, “It’s ok. We will figure something out.”
He said, “I think you should. I ran out of ideas and I am tired.”
I stared at him and didn’t want to speak anymore. We both grabbed a plate of food and sat on the edge of a table alone to eat quietly. After a few minutes, Bob came in, walked over and said enthusiastically, “Lina! You look amazing!”
I smiled and said, “Hi Bob. How are you?”
He said, “I am great! Is Boris giving you a hard time being himself?”
I said, “He doesn’t bother me.”
Boris didn’t say anything and kept eating. I stared at Boris then said, “Bob, so what’s new? It’s been a day.”
He said, “Nothing too unusual. You know, we try to solve some problems here and there.”
I smiled and said, “Boris, say hi.”
Boris looked at me with wide eyes, then over to Bob and he said, “Hello Bob.”
Bob said hello back and I said, “Isn’t Boris sweet?”
Boris shook his head and said, “Don’t push it Lina.”
Bob laughed and said, “Oh Boris! Where was she all these years?” He kept laughing and walked over to the food table. Boris eyed me and whispered, “You’ll pay for this.”
I smiled and said, “So I will pay for two things now?”
He shook his head with great disapproval and said, “I’m going to my office. You can roam around if you want. You know where to find me.” He got up and walked out.
I was surprised he was leaving me alone then Bob came over and said, “Oh Lina. I know you love to push his buttons, but he is not used to it. Give him time.”
I said, “He was never like this. Well, not to the extreme of not communicating or presenting a small gesture to anyone.”
He said, “You are slowly remembering what he was really like. It’s impressive. I don’t think all your past memories are gone.”
I stared at him and thought that maybe there are things that I do remember. I said, “Do you know what’s going on in Triangle? About the trucks and supplies?”
He finished chewing his food and said, “I heard and saw. It looks like they are moving.”
I said, “Moving? Where?”
He said, “Out.”
I gestured with my hands and said, “Where?”
He smiled and said, “Oh Lina! You’re a breath of fresh air. I can’t believe you’re a colonel. They look like they are leaving. Where to? We don’t know, but there is a big world out there. I’m not worried.”
I said, “Are they going out to explore new places, to find life?”
He said, “It seems like it. The supplies are slowly depleting and many people here are dying. This can’t be the end of us.”
I said, “Why was Boris upset about it?”
He said, “Maybe he is upset because they didn’t tell him to come along.”
I said, “He wants to leave?”
He said, “He wanted to leave a couple of years ago. He even tried to form a team to explore around the area a few kilometers away for life, but that didn’t happen.”
I said, “Why?”
He said, “A lot more deaths started happening. People were dying quickly, and he lost some of his team. He was very upset and tried to recruit new team members, but they all decided to back out. They were afraid they can’t make it and no one will ever know what will happen to them.”
I said, “It doesn’t sound like Boris. He would have gone alone.”
He said, “Yes. He would have, but something kept him back.”
I said, “What?”
He said, “Secrecy of Intelligence. What are they were planning? Triangle’s strange over powering commands that made Boris upset. You of course.”
I said, “Me?”
He said, “Yes. You were always a reason he was wary of everyone and everything. He didn’t know why you changed and it was killing him slowly. I’m surprised he didn’t leave years ago and put everything behind him.”
I didn’t say anything but I thought that Boris lied to me. He said that the old city didn’t interest him. He wanted to leave so badly. I don’t understand what he was thinking. Bob looked at me confused and said, “Lina? Don’t worry about Boris anymore. He will be fine from now on.”
I nodded my head and said, “He needs to make decisions and not rely on me.”
He said, “He can make his own, but he just needs support and wants to make sure that someone else agrees.”
I sighed and said, “I can’t believe he has been like this for a decade. I will never forgive myself.”
He chuckled and said, “Oh things will get better.”
I said, “Maybe I should go now. Do you know where I can find General John Myr?”
He said, “I will ask for you. Let’s go.”
We walked out of the cafeteria and through the main door of the building. The garden was bright and there were bees flying around. Bob said, “The most beautiful part of this compound is this place. There is life and wants to grow and thrive.”
I smiled and nodded. I said, “It’s peaceful too.”
I walked behind him to the security sector. He opened a door and there were three ladies sitting at their desks. One lady, middle aged with brown hair and glasses looked at Bob and said, “Bobby! Hello!”
He said enthusiastically, “Well ... well ... Noura! You look extra magnificent today.”
She giggled and said, “Oh Bob!”
He said, “Hello ladies. Sally and Jeren. This is Colonel Lina.”
Noura said, “What a lovely young girl. She was always here though, but never talked to us. At times I thought she was a ghost.”
I said, “Umm, hi. I’m here now.”
She said, “Is your head ok?”
I touched my head and felt the bandage. It was sort of dry. Maybe I should have changed it this morning, or removed it. I said, “Yeah, a little injury. Nothing too bad.”
Bob said, “Nothing too bad? You were almost dead. None of us knew how you survived and standing here today. Maybe someone prayed for you because they love you too much.”
He winked at me and I blushed. I said, “Umm, Noura. If you don’t mind telling me, where can I find General John Myr?”
She said, “I will search on the computer for you. But I’m sure he is upstairs in the east sector getting well rested. Let me check. … Yep, room E204.”
I said, “Thank you.”
She said, “Doll, don’t mention it. You’re a colonel? I would never in a million years think that’s what you do.”
I said, “What do you think I do then?”
She said, “Oh something domesticated. A house wife.”
I said, “What?”
She giggled and said, “Oh doll. Even when you’re upset you look adorable.”
Bob chuckled too and said, “Well ladies. It was a pleasure seeing you. We got to go.”
He walked out of the door, I waved good bye and followed him. I said, “I don’t want to waste your time. I can find my way from here.”
He nodded and said, “Oh Lina. If you need anything we are down this hall on the first right door.”
I nodded and turned around. I walked down the hallway until I saw a glass paneled door with stairs past it. I went through it and went up. I saw a large sign and it said, “East Wing.” I walked past a few doors and found room E204. There was no panel or any security. I knocked and tried to open the door. The door opened and I swung it in. John was laying down with a few wires sticking out of him. I closed the door and wondered why there wasn’t any security on these doors. The room looked more of a hospital room than the one I was in. I sat on the chair near him and stared. He opened his eyes and looked at me. He said, “Lina!”
I said, “Good morning General.”
He said, “I can’t believe you’re here. It’s a miracle.”
I said, “I’m glad you’re here too.”
He said, “How’s Boris? Is he still mad?”
I said, “Mad about what?”
He said, “Taking you away from him all this time.”
I gasped and said, “You knew?”
He said, “Of course I knew. I’m surprised he even talks to me at all. That’s why he hardly visited Intelligence for all these years.”
I didn’t reply for a few seconds, lowered my head and he said, “Lina? It was in the past. Things will get better.”
I said, “I don’t know anymore. I’m afraid of what I will do and say. I can’t control myself anymore.”
He said, “I don’t know what will happen from now on. Just relax and get better. Nothing is worth it anymore.”
I said, “What about Triangle and Intelligence?”
He chuckled and said, “Those bastards? They can do whatever they want. They don’t have powerful leadership to put a stop to their stupidity.”
I said, “Triangle is planning to deploy a large exploration team to search for life in other areas.”
He looked at me and said, “Who are they sending? Mutated genes carriers?”
I said, “Umm, I don’t know.”
He said, “They want to get rid of as much unhealthy humans as they can to die far away.”
I hesitated and didn’t know what to say anymore. He stared at me and said, “Lina. Don’t do anything stupid. If you ever need my help, I’m here. I owe it to you. Now, just listen to Boris’s suggestions. You may not agree with him all the time, but there is room for compromise.”
I said, “Compromise? Boris?”
He chuckled and said, “Yes. He may be the most stubborn person I ever met, following you of course, but I think he is bendable.”
I frowned and had a hard time imagining it. I said, “Do you need anything General? I should leave you to rest.”
He said, “Oh Lina. Just knowing you are still here and out of anyone’s control is all I need.”
He smiled at me and I smiled back. I got off the chair and walked out of the room. I laid on the wall past the room door and wiped tears from my eyes. I didn’t know what to do anymore. I felt lost. I sat on the floor and covered my head between my knees and didn’t want to go anywhere anymore.