What have I done? I slowly walked on the half paved road. I couldn’t go to Intelligence in day light without a plan. Where then? Take refuge at Triangle? No. Where do I go? I took a right turn and headed to the old city. As I approached the broken small bridge, I sighed and stared down at the river. I sat down at the edge and just stared. I removed the hair tie and let my hair fall down.
There was no life around. I laid on the ground and closed my eyes. Why did I leave? Boris questioned if I even loved him. He has loved me for so many years and waited. I couldn’t even show him full gratitude in the past five days. Am I selfish? Maybe he thinks I am now.
I opened my eyes and just kept wondering what will happen to me. Do I even care about myself anymore? What am I trying to figure out, and why?
I shut my eyes and I fell asleep. I was too tired to care anymore.
I felt my eyes burning from a strong light beam. I opened them and it was light from a small truck’s headlights. I got up and the engine stopped. It was night time. Did I sleep that long?
The headlights were still on and two men jumped off the truck. One came into focus and it was Bob. The other guy was Nizar. Bob said, “Are you ok Lina?”
I stared and said, “How did you guys find me?”
He said, “Boris keeps an eye everywhere. He knew you didn’t go to Intelligence or bothered to go to Triangle, and told us to start searching here.”
I said, “Where is he?”
He said, “Back in Red. He sent us here to reason with you.”
I said, “But I can’t.”
He said, “You can’t what Lina?”
I said, “Go back now.”
He said, “Oh. So you have chosen Intelligence over Boris?”
I said, “You don’t understand. I have to go and get something. That’s all.”
He said, “Is it that important? The past is more important than the future?”
I hesitated and said, “I just have to.”
He said, “I can’t change your mind. I told Boris it was hopeless. Nizar, let’s go back.”
I said, “Wait. You will leave me here?”
He said, “No one can make you do anything Lina. It’s your absurd choices. Just wake up and grow out of them one day, ok?”
He was disappointed and jumped on the truck. Nizar followed him in. He turned on the engine and backed up. He turned around and drove away.
I tucked my head around my knees and tried to think of a plan. A plan to go into Intelligence without being noticed. My stomach starting hurting. I was getting hungry and thirsty. It was a dark cloudy night. Maybe I should stay put till the morning and just sleep. I laid back down and closed my eyes.
I felt a gentle brush on my cheeks. I opened my eyes and it was still dark. I focused and saw it was Boris. I raised myself up and looked at him. He didn’t say anything. I looked around and there was a truck. He was alone. He looked at what I was staring at and back at me. He finally said, “Do you want to get that box from Intelligence?”
My eyes widened and said, “What?”
He said, “There is an underground path from Red to Intelligence. It hasn’t been used it for years. I don’t think Intelligence is protecting it in any way.”
I stared at him shocked with what he was saying. He looked at me and sighed, “We can go tomorrow night. It’s safer that way.”
I said, “You don’t have to come with me.”
He said, “Yes I do. I acted like a jerk today and it’s not fair to you.”
He grabbed the edge of his necklace and said, “This is what I have left of her. It keeps reminding me of what I lost.”
I said, “I can’t let you do this Boris.”
He sighed and said, “It’s the least I can do.”
His eyes in the dark seemed watery and I stared at him. He said, “We have to go back now. Please just come with me.”
His voice was shaky and I wanted to discuss this plan further. I said, “Listen Boris. I can’t be what you want me to be. Things have changed.”
He nodded in agreement and I continued, “We will leave this place after I get the box. We will go anywhere you want to. I won’t argue or ask anything anymore.” He turned around and said, “I just can’t see you lying on the ground again with blood under you.”
I said, “What?”
He said, “One person left me, and you almost did. I can’t take it anymore.”
Was he confessing to me? Were his emotions taking over him?
I came closer to him and hugged him tightly. I said, “Boris. I really do love you, but you have to also let me make this choice. I have to get the photos. I will never know where they came from, but it’s my reminder that I am someone worth a picture to someone.”
He raised his head up and nodded. He said, “I agree.”
I smiled and kissed him. He let go and said, “We should go back.”