Chapter 11
Laura and Her Deepest Secret
"I have loved you since I began to learn in high school. It was hard enough to be a poor seventeen teenager in a small town, to learn in an expensive high school and to wait the love of my life. It was very hard for me to achieve my destiny. I had no courage to spend too much money on things, due to the fear of not being able to bear the difficulties without any complaint and not being able to pay the school fees. I had to be strong enough to accept the situation. I didn't have money, but once I found your love, I realized that I had something much stronger than life itself. I found a person, who could understand me, loving, caring and faithful woman. Most of all, you accepted me such as I was. At that time, I said to myself, "I have found the person I was looking for." I wanted to marry you. After reading your book, I understood that you had really fallen in love with Alexander. Moreover, I understood that you had a reason to love him, "said Michel. He wanted to be honest with her. He had a feeling of emptiness. He realized that he was almost a stranger for her, after he had become aware of this new relationship between them.
"Why didn't you ever say anything?"
'' I didn't have enough courage to tell you the truth."
"I had thought that I loved you, at the beginning. After a while, I realized that you were very much involved in some kind of life and I found myself being pushed and shoved into a corner. In fact, I had looked for someone like Alexander. Before meeting Alexander, Laura told me that you had been in a relationship with someone else. That person was Lisa. Am I right? You should have told me that you were not ready to be with me," said Ella.
"It's very hard to explain the facts of my life because my inner feelings are very complicated. I loved you both. Now, the tale is over," said Michael.
"Have you been in a relationship with Lisa, while you have been in love with me?" Ella asked him.
"Laura and Lisa wanted nothing more than to be roommates, when they were students at the University. I didn't really have a relationship with Lisa. If I was with someone else, this would improve our relationship," said Michael.
Ella couldn't believe her ears. She gazed at him with a stupefied air. Her eyes opened widely and her cheeks reddened.
"Michael, you said that you were faithful to me, but Laura told me the truth about you."
She palmed his cheeks with her right hand. Michael remained silently for two minutes. He wondered if he should say anything to her. He really didn't want to offend her. A strange wind chilled him. Something bad had happened to Ella. He shook his head because he thought of something he shouldn't say to her. He decided to say, "I love you. I wanted to marry you, but I realized that my love wasn't enough for you. This was the reason I had a love affair with Lisa. All this time, I have hoped to change your convictions."
"One day, I went into a student club and I saw Alexander in a role, using an improvisational theater to deal with his future profession. The troupe drew students into role-playing scenarios to help them working through common adolescent problems. I still remember that play. The men and the women had been fighting and killing each other, until one pair remained on the Earth. Of course, there was nothing glorious about fighting, maiming and killing each other. When the last man said, "I cannot kill you because I love you," the last woman came towards him, but suddenly, he turned back to her and killed her. I didn't really understand if she wanted to kiss him or to kill him. After the show, I approached Alexander for an autograph. He smiled and he told me that he was not an actor, but only a student learning to be an actor. He invited me to drink a cup of tea. He explained the theme of the scenario. He explained that the words had a symbolic meaning. The words symbolized the spirit, the life and the knowledge of those men and women. Suddenly, I began to feel something special inside. I fell in love with him. I remained with him. I forgive you and I don't feel sorry for losing you," said Ella.
"Laura told me that you were in love with Alexander. I saw you two walking down the street. I had loved you all the time, but I didn't touch you because I wanted you to be a virgin in the moment of our marriage," said Michael.
''I didn't think you wanted to marry me, Michael," said Ella, visibly impressed. "Why didn't you marry Lisa?”
"She thought that I had a sexual relationship with someone else. She told everyone. She provoked a scandal."
Ella couldn't believe her ears again. "What did really happen? Did you have a relationship with another one? "
"No."
"I don't believe that Laura told you about my relationship with Alexander. She was my best friend," said Ella.
"Laura was a very talkative woman. She didn't like me. She didn't want me to be in your life," said Michael.
"That's not true. She was very a decent and very serious person," said Ella.
"She had told me that Lisa had loved me, before I fell in love with her," said Michael.
"Why did she do that, Michael?''
"Laura wanted our separation and she had used Lisa."
"Because of you Lisa married Jeff. What are you going to do Michael?"
"I hope to go on in my life."
Ella thought that Michael wanted to destroy her happiness. She remembered that Michael was a student at the University of Management and Technology. Meanwhile, he subscribed to the University of Theater to be well prepared for the actor’s career. In fact, he wanted to be more close to Alexander.
Her unborn child moved strongly inside of her. She realized that she was completely changed and she wanted a new life. Ella felt the chilly winds of change. She understood the meaning of her love and she realized that Alexander saved her.
"What are you doing here?'' Alexander asked her, tenderly kissing her lips.
"I danced with Michael, but he had to go." She looked tired, pale and very skinny, but she was beautiful.
"How is our baby?" He knew that something was wrong. He never felt this way. She trailed her hands through his hair. His hands trailed up her back, caressing gently before dragging them back to put them on her shoulders.
Ella became almost hysterical and said, "Don't you ever leave me, do you understand?" She began to cry.
He whispered into her thick, lush hair, "Why should I leave you, my darling?"
She felt freeing herself from an invisible jail that had kept her captive inside. Her thoughts freed and she found a deep happiness and contentment within her love for Alexander. She felt humbled and blessed. That Spirit had assisted her in this deep awareness. Thus she set oneself free through letting go her old feelings, which no longer could serve to anything. Yet, she continued, "You will leave me for another woman."
Tenderly, he took her face in his hands and kissed her. "I love you. I don't want to go. You're my only woman. I was a virgin like you. I don't feel any other need. "
"I decided to name our son Emmanuel."
"I'm sure he will be a very strong boy like a little Prometheus," smiled Alexander.
"Yes, I'm keen on having your children," said Ella and two sparkling tears fell from her eyes.
"You're a part of me. I'm your Adam."
"I had thought that love had meant only words, until I met you. Maybe my love had been only a word without any meaning, but you gave it a meaning."
His emerald green eyes sparkled for a few seconds. The stars grew dim in the sparkles that Ella saw within his eyes. Ella realized that there were moments when Alexander's eyes changed their color.
"Come on, kitty, let's go!"
"Laura, shall we dance?" Jeff asked her.
"Of course."
"Thank you."
"I deduced that you got along well with Lisa," said Laura.
"We have an open marriage. We don't bother each other too much. Lisa loves me very much, but there is twenty years age difference between us,'' said Jeff.
"Twenty years difference in age is not so crucial."
"We both have some extra marital affairs, but we both want to be together and we love each other."
"There is no perfect marriage,'' said Laura.
"Maybe we don't know what to do for our best, but we have so much in common and we need each other with so much love than we cannot do without. We may not want to admit it, but there's more in our spiritual need than in our sex. What is sex without love? She is the person I have always dreamed of being with and this is why I don't want to lose her." Jeff held her easily close to him and he took her hand in his own hand, caressing her palm with his fingers. They began to synchronize their steps. The melody magically emerged the sound, being absorbed into their bloodstream.
They danced graciously, being so close one to each other, even they knew their steps. Jeff saw that she was so precious and fragile because she was a woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown. He saw her as a woman on the verge of her despair and hopelessness. Even though, her decision to leave Daniel might seem very strange. This gave her the chance to understand her life. He drove her carefully. She was so talented and her dancing style was simply beautiful.
"Whenever I dance with you, it feels so different. Every time you dance with me, you bring something new. I could dance with you all the night, "said Laura.
"I'm happy to dance with you. I don't know why, but when I dance with you, I can feel its taste. How do you feel after the divorce? "Jeff continued to ask her.
"Generally, there is no formula for making a relationship to work. Maybe some types of relationships cannot work. Therefore, they really do not work. I think that my relationship with Daniel was different. I'm sad and I want him back because I love him such as he is, even I cannot recognize this in front of others. "
"And if he does not return, how do you imagine your life from now on?"
"I can't believe he's not coming back. He loves his son very much."
"Laura, you're a wonderful woman."
Laura sat on a chair and began to cry. Ella came to Laura and asked her what happened. Laura said she missed her husband and it was very difficult for her to do everything without him. Ella said she could try to help her.
''I have to ask you something." said Ella.
"Ask me," said Laura.
"Tell me one thing. Please, say 'yes' or 'no' because I believe in the words you say. Have you ever betrayed me as a friend?"
"No, never, " said Laura.
"In this case, tell me if you facilitated a love affair between Michael and Lisa, when I was engaged with Michael."
"No, never," said Laura, "Who told you this?"
"Michael told me."
"Do you believe him? He traded you. I was your friend."
"Why did he say that?" Ella became a little suspicious.
"I don't know. Maybe he wanted to hurt you. How could you believe, even for one second, that I might say that, knowing that you love him and being your friend, at the same time?"
"Well, I didn't believe him and I told him this, but he insisted to explain me everything."
"Perhaps he needed to hurt both of us for some reasons," said Laura, looking absently to Ella.
"Why did he do this to me?" asked Ella, becoming thoughtful.
"Maybe he said that because he still loves you. He wanted to know if you still love him or not." After that, she exclaimed seemingly to nowhere, "Pure innocent Ella, you need so much to be a real perfectionist!" She turned to Ella and said, "You will never change, my dearest friend. Do you hear me?''
"I'm already completely changed," said Ella.