Old Pain & Labor Pains
“Where are you taking me,” she says quietly, blanking staring out the window.
“It’s a surprise,” I say, smiling over at her. I park with the trees get narrower, the ground softer under the tires. “We’re here.”
Getting out the truck, I open Isabel’s door and help her to her feet. She’s been crying for most of the morning. Today is the anniversary of Tyler’s death. Today is a sad day. When she hurts, I hurt far worse.
Taking her hand, I lead her through the path in the woods that I’ve come to memorize. We stop when we come out of the pines into a clearing of wild rosebushes that sprawl down the length of the side of a river.
“This is my sacred place,” I say softly as if I don’t want to disturb the sleeping blue jays in the green lefty treetops. “I came here years ago and fell to my knees, asking God a favor. I kept coming here. All the time when Sally told me about the babies. I planted three rosebushes and they have thrived here.” I pick up the bundle of lavender flowers I’ve laid on the ground by the hole I dug an hour earlier. “We’re going to plant these for Tyler. You remember how much he loved the lavender that grew like crazy around your house?”
She nods weakly, wiping at her eyes. “He loved lavender.”
“Let’s make Tyler happy and plant them. Maybe they’ll grow in abundance like the roses.” We both kneel on the ground. She gathers the lavender flowers in her palms as she lowers them into the earth. I scoop up the rich soil and begin to pack the hole. “Talk to him, Isabel.”
“What if he can’t hear me?”
“He can,” I urge. “Tyler is in the stars and everywhere you are.”
She releases a shuddering breath, staring at the brilliant lavender. “I can still feel you here, Tyler. I still can’t believe your not here with me. I’ve been needing you. I miss you every hour of every day. All I dream is you.” Her tears drip on the lavender flowers like rain from the sky. “I didn’t think I could make it. But I know every time the sun’s warmth touches me, you’re by my side. I promise to make you proud, so proud you won’t have to worry about me. I promise I’ll be okay. You promised to never leave me. And you haven’t. You kept your promise. So I’ll promise I will be okay. Know that I’ll be okay, Tyler.”
I hold Isabel in my arms and cuddle her close to me as she sobs fiercely. “I promise to take care of her, Tyler. We’ll be all right.”
“I love you, Tyler,” she weeps hoarsely, her hands fisting in my shirt. “Missing you. Wish you were here now. I promise to be okay.” She takes a deep breath. “I promise I’ll be okay.”
***
Two days later…
“Isabel, baby, wake up.”
She rolls away from me still asleep.
I drag her back towards me and caress her ass, kissing her ear. “Baby, wake up.”
“Mm.” She swats blindly at me and I pinch her nipple through her nightie. Her body jolts forward and she gasps, her eyelids blinking open real quick. “Hunter.”
“You need to wake up. Harmony’s in labor. Falcon called you six times.”
She jumps from our bed suddenly, heading to our closet and shedding out of her white silk and lace nightie. “What? Oh my God, Hunter. What are you waiting for? Get dressed.”
I glance down at my T-shirt, jeans and boots and then smile to myself. “I’m already dressed, Isabel.”
“Good. That’ll save us some time. Falcon called six times? I didn’t hear a thing. I’m usually a light sleeper. But I’ve been sleeping like the dead since I’ve been back with you.”
My stomach twists in nauseous knots.
She’s been sleeping like the dead since she’s been back with me?
That means I gave her three years of not sleeping peacefully.
Three years of unrest I’ve given her and it’s all my fault.
She comes back out in a mint green shirt paired with a black cardigan and jeans. Isabel stares at me as she reaches for an elastic band off the dresser to tie her hair in a messy knot on top of her head. Her face is free of makeup and drowsy with sleep, but she has never been more beautiful to me.
“Ready?” I ask.
She wrinkles her nose and then glances around. “Do you have some peppermint or maybe some gum. I don’t think I have time to brush my teeth.”
“There’s gum in the truck,” I say through a smile. Though Harmony’s in labor, Isabel doesn’t want to miss a thing.
“Okay. I’m ready then,” she says, grabbing her camera.
***
The entire west wing of Cherry Creek Hospital has been rented out by Falcon. How he managed to rent an entire wing of a busy small town hospital, I may never know. I lounge in cushiony chair in the waiting room, aimlessly flipping through a parenting magazine while Isabel and Harmony walk the hospital corridors to help with the labor pains.
Falcon flops down in the chair next to me, looking exhausted. He rubs his hand over his thick stubble and looks over at me.
“Scared?” I ask.
“Fuck yes,” he says instantly. “She’s having our baby. She’s about to give birth to our child. I’m fucking scared out of my mind. I don’t want to fuck up fatherhood. You get a one shot deal at fatherhood and I don’t want to tarnish that for my daughter.” He leans back, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip and his expression is far-off. “I want her to have the best.”
“She will.”
Falcon turns his face towards me, lifting a brow. “How do you know?”
Shrugging, I toss the magazine back on the table. “She has you, and you’re a responsible guy with good morals. You don’t have to be a math whiz to know the probability of your kid being a decent person is in your favor.” I glance at the TV. It’s a news story about Harmony and Falcon and Vic. “You’ll do fine.”
A moment passes before he whispers, “Never in a billion years would I have thought that you would give me good parenting advice and me actually taking it. Thanks, man.”
I look at him and nod.
“Are you scared?”
“No.”
His brows furrow, his expression skeptical. “You aren’t scared?”
“No, not as long as I have Isabel in my life,” I answer truthfully. “She’s my everything. When I’m with her I have nothing to fear because I have my world and my heart.”
“Damn, Hunt,” he mumbles through a grin. “You’re still crazy over her.”
“I’m absolutely mad over Isabel.”
“I know the feeling,” Falcon says, looking down at his wristwatch. “This makes hour five of labor work. We’re fucking lucky to be men with dicks.”
Snorting laughter, I close my eyes and lean my head back with thoughts of Isabel and our child.
***
Victor arrives with takeout and we all crowd in Harmony’s room and eat. Harmony lies in bed, glaring at us. “I hate you all so much,” she mutters, throughout her breathing exercises. “Especially you, Falcon. You did this to me.”
“Aw. Don’t be mean, baby,” he replies, taking a chunk from his burger. “I’m hurting just as much. Watching you go through this isn’t easy.”
Her darkening eyes narrow at him. “Bullshit! Isabel, men are shitty. This is what you have to look forward to.”
“I’m sorry,” Isabel coos, eating fries and massaging Harmony’s feet at the same time. “It won’t be long now.”
My arm loops around Isabel, moving her into my lap. I lift her hand to feed her fires to my mouth. She gapes at me, her mouth wide-open. “Eat your own food, Hunter.”
“But I want yours,” I says, kissing her arm.
“No. No. No. You guys can’t be cute when I’m in pain and suffering,” Harmony declares. Then her face alters from anger to sudden surprise, her eyes expanding comically. Her glance drops down to her lap. “Someone call the nurse. The baby’s coming.”
The nurses and doctor rush in.
And just like that I watch Ruby Isabel Tanner come into this world screaming at the top of her little lungs.