The Winter Ball
“You sure that’s the one you want?” a sales clerk asks me.
Her name is Mandy.
Bright brown-eyed Mandy.
“Positive,” I say, handing over my debit card.
“She’s a lucky girl,” Mandy says as she merrily wraps the gift I just bought Isabel. She scans my card, her optimistic expression growing wider with what seems to be wonder as her gaze runs down the length of me. It’s as if I restored her faith in romance again.
“You’ve got it wrong,” I reply, looking at the silk white bow on the gift bag. “I’m the lucky one.”
***
Standing in the doorway, I gawk at Isabel. She takes my breath away with one glance. Three years ago she was a winter angel. Three years ago she was an ice princess in her wintery blues and majestic silvers. This year she’s a sun goddess. Her makeup is warm and light, accessorized with gold stencil designs that flare out on either side of her eyes. She has a roman leaf crown painted as a necklace on her collarbone along with gold painted bangles above and below her elbow. A crown made out of ropes of sparklingly gold entwines in and out of her deep dark waves that cascade down her back. A flowy gown the color of champagne wraps around her beautifully. Her gown matches my suit tie. I’m dressed in all black and my hair is sleeked back into a knot at the nape of my neck.
“Ready?” she asks, turning to face me.
“Yeah,” I say, holding my arm out to her.
She looks up at me, her face soft and her eyes admiring. Isabel touches my face and smiles. “You’re beautiful, Hunter.”
“You’re prettier.”
She shakes her head, her thumb tracing the outline of my lips. “You don’t see yourself clearly. You are the definition of beauty, the epitome of beauty—” she places her hand on my chest, over my heart “—but your heart is the most beautiful part of who you are. I love you until the end of time. I love you until my very last breath, Hunter.”
Bringing her closer into me, I embrace her and soak in her warmth and love, never getting enough and always wanting more. “Isabel, you mean everything to me. You’ve been part of who I am for since the beginning of time. But you have something wrong. My heart isn’t the most beautiful part of who I am—you are. You’re so unbelievably beautiful and clueless about the rays of love you cast on everyone you touch, including me. I can’t love you enough, Isabel. I can’t give you enough, I can’t apologize enough. What I do for you will never be enough to ever forgive the things I’ve done.”
I hold her face in my hands, staring into glossed eyes and see blazing stars. “I’ve been cruel to you. I’ve craved to break you, yet you’re here with me. You have never given up on me, even when I wished you had. Baby, I love you until my last breath, until my heart stops beating and even then. My sweet, beautiful Isabel. How I love to love you. I was a hollow soul living off anger and fury. Pissed off at the world with resentment so bitter I tasted in my dreams. But you filled me with light, Isabel. You filled me completely, and now I’m bursting. I can’t ask for anything more.”
“Can we go to the ball now or are you going to talk me to death?” she asks breathlessly as I wipe her tears away.
“We can go to the ball, baby.”
***
Twinkling lights are webbed intricately throughout the rows of leafy treetops. Giant velvet red bows are tied around the street lamps. The black asphalt streets are sleeked with fresh rain and lined with glossy luxury vehicles and ornamental horse carriages while men and women stroll around the festive square in their immaculate gowns and tuxedos. The town square looks like the cheery holiday of Christmas and smells of cedar and winter.
Grabbing Isabel’s hand, I give her a smile and guide her towards the red carpet where the photographers go berserk.
Smiling, I lean into her. “You’re making me so proud.”
She touches my cheek, grinning up at me. “I love you.”
“Love you, too,” I whisper in her ear as the flickering lights snap our pictures.
Isabel takes my proffered arm as I lead her to the ballroom. The ballroom is beautifully appointed with sparkling crystal chandeliers and a rich and creamy color palette that seems to be inspired by my golden princess at my side. We walk past welcoming faces and mountains of food and decadent wines to a huge linen table filled with loving smiles.
“You did this?” Isabel asks breathlessly.
Smiling at her, I nod. “For you.”
Before the ball began, I called everyone that Isabel cared about and asked them to be here to support Isabel for today. Everyone from Naya and Lark to Charlie and Blue and Ivy to Falcon and his family to Rex and Tyler and Isabel’s aunt and Max, Lily and their son to Candy and Caleb is here.
Apple in her pink strawberry-colored gown jumps out of her chair and runs up to Isabel, giving her a tight hug. “I’ve missed you. I’m glad you’re home.”
“I’ve miss you too,” she says, hugging her back. “How’s school?”
“College is a working progress,” Apple says as they hold each other at arm’s length.
Excusing myself, I leave the women to chat and join Rex and Naya at the table.
“How are things, baby sister?”
She shrugs but smiles. “Fine, I guess. Hero has been avoiding me. Have you talked to him?”
“No. I think he’s avoiding all of us. Or maybe he just lost his phone in Pairs and decided to never replace it.”
“Is he okay?” Lark asks, genuinely concerned.
“I don’t know,” I answer. “But he will be.” I have all the faith in the world in Hero.
Naya shoves a frustrated hand through her dark locks, wrinkling her nose. “It’s weird that Hero wouldn’t call me back. He always calls me back. We always talk. But I haven’t heard from him in months.”
I squeeze her hand on top of the table. “He’s fine, Naya. I’ll make sure of it.” I’ll make a call to Patterson later about finding someone to track Hero in Paris. I’m sure he has a skilled person for every need.
Her small fingers curl around mine. “Get back to me as soon as you can, alright? I have to know Hero’s okay. I’m worried about him.”
Lark gives Naya a concerned glance. In his gaze I recognize both love and fear. He fears the extant and depth of her emotions for Hero and he loves her beyond the fear that echoes in the back of his thoughts. I have never questioned my little brother and sister’s relationship every time they hugged too long or looked too deeply into one another’s eyes. It’s apparent that they love each other, and I never question love. What kind of relationship they have is their business, not anyone else’s.
“Boy,” Charlie bellows, playfully gripping the back of my neck. Charlie and Caleb stand at my side, Charlie has a goblet in his hand and Caleb seems sober. “The holidays are always a lovely time of year.”
“Have you had one too many already, Grandpa?”
He laughs, deep and infectious. “You know your old man well. I have my family here, my grandbabies are having babies of their own and that’s cause enough for a celebration.”
Caleb smiles at me. My father has a kind smile, but it still utterly baffles me. I never received many smiles from him when I was younger. In fact, he made sure we never saw him at all. He was absent most of my life. I haven’t tackled my feelings about this. Confronting Caleb is a challenge I have yet to conquer. But fatherhood is ever-present for me. I should at least talk to this man.
“Can I talk to you for a moment, Hunter?” Caleb asks, beating me to it.
“Yeah,” I say, glancing at Isabel. She’s talking to Harmony, Candy, Apple and Ivy about something. They’re all hanging on her every word.
Caleb and I amble over to a more intimate sitting area off to the side where we settle into deep brown leather Victorian-styled wingback armchairs. We are surrounded by scented white long-stemmed orchards and roses that spurt out of large transparent glass vases. An image of Isabel in her tulle white dress with her daisy crown braided on top of her dark waves as she walks down the aisle to meet me at the altar fills my vision. I smile inwardly. We had orchards and roses at our wedding so many years ago.
The view of the dance floor is great view and I can clearly see Isabel from this distance. I don’t want to be too far from her tonight.
“Hunter,” Caleb says, drawing my attention back to him.
My eyes are fixed on his blue ones and I secretly cringe because it’s like looking into the mirror at the future Hunter Knight, which could be good or bad…or bad and good. My father isn’t an evil man. He is simply a man of mistakes. Those mistakes are fewer since he stopped drinking. “Yes?”
“I am sorry…for everything,” he enunciates each word clearly. “You have been the star of my life, Hunter. I’ve loved you since the day you were born. Though, it may seem otherwise. I am not perfect and I will not make excuses for my behavior. I can only pray for your forgiveness, son.”
Something lightens inside of me while something dark simultaneously sheds from me. I can feel myself evolving into the person I’m meant to be. “I forgive you.”
Tears brim his golden lashes, causing his eyes to become translucent like the color of the purest ocean. “I love you, Hunter.”
“Love you, too, Dad,” I say, testing it on my tongue. It’s been years since I called him Dad. But it feels right.
His smile quivers as he wipes at his leaking eyes. Something is beginning with him rather than ending. Caleb is my father and I am my father’s son. Our future is optimistic because I seem him a part of it.
“My boys,” Charlie interjects, wrapping an arm around Caleb’s shoulders. It seems like they’ve made up as well. “I’m happy to see this before I’m gone. Now where the hell is my problematic grandson, Hero?”
“To be young and in Paris,” Caleb says, his expression thoughtful.
“I’m sure we’ll hear from him soon,” I reply, staring at Isabel as she slow dances with Max. A pang of jealously surges though me. Has she forgotten? Max doesn’t get to touch her.
Breathing deeply, I shake off the madness. There’s no need to be irrational…well at least for tonight.
“Hey,” Taylor greets coming up to me. “You wanna dance?”
“Sure.” I rise to my feet, taking her outreached hand in mine.
We make our way to the dance floor. Taylor braces her palms on my shoulders and my arms rest lightly on her waist as we sway to the gentle melody. Rex’s intent gaze doesn’t go unseen. He watches us closely from the table while he converses with Lily and little Max.
“You’re doing a great job,” she says quietly.
“Thanks. It means a lot coming from you. How’s life been?”
“I love being around my mom. She’s incredible. She has so much love to give and I’ve been soaking it up like sponge. Rex is amazing. He’s understanding and patient with me when I become defensive and bitchy.”
“Why do you become defensive and bitchy?”
Her eyebrows snap together, her lips curling as if she tastes something bitter. “Your brother.”
“What did he do? Hero hasn’t been himself since Tyler died, but then he spent time with you and he resembled his old self again until you guys ended.”
Her deep hazel eyes dim, her expression somber. “There are relationships that form how you perceive everything. There are relationships that make the vital part of who someone is. There are relationships that can devastate someone. Your brother was all of that for me.” She looks up, her hands clutching my shoulders hard.
My fingers dig into her waist and that’s the only thing that keeps me from flinching from the pure agony I see. “I didn’t have much of anything, Hunter. The only thing of value I had was Hero. He was the sun that blessed me with unbelievable warmth so soothing it calmed the soul. You have no idea how tightly I held on to him, afraid he would disappear and leave me to face the wintery cold alone again. My sun was beautifully unstable. But Hero burned so bright, blazing like nothing I’ve ever seen. He was like a fading star shooting across the blackened sky, coloring everything with electric joy. He was my home. Hero was all that I knew. But my sun imploded.” A few tears roll down her cheeks. “In life, you encounter people, relationships and situations that take a toll on you. I could never be home for a star as powerful as the sun.”
“Taylor,” I say, holding her tight. “I’m sorry.”
“I’ll take it from here,” Rex says, stepping in.
Nodding, I pass her to Rex. She presses close to him, burying her face in his chest. Taylor is right. I have no idea what they went through or why Hero would break someone as sweet as Taylor. I have a feeling that Hero’s story is a novel in itself.
Isabel is standing by a platter of fruit when I reach her. “Dance with me?”
“Okay,” she says, smiling at me.
“I love when you smile at me,” I say, spinning her in tiny circles.
She giggles into my shoulder when I pull her back. Her laughter is melodic and soft, the things lullabies are made of. This is the sound of happiness. The dance floor clears gradually. Everyone piles on the sides to watch me and Isabel together.
I spin her around and around just to hear her erupt in laughter. Only when she’s breathless do I pause and lower to on bended knee. She gasps, squeezing my hand in hers. “Isabel, I promised you forever, and that’s what I’m giving you. Will you be my wife?”
She stares down at me for brief eternity, her expression inscrutable.
This may be the part where she finally realizes that I’m not good enough for her. The poisonous words Sally spat three years ago repeat in the back of my mind.
He is clearly too erratically unstable to do much of anything.
He would probably kill us all in the end, anyway.
Isabel’s warm palm on my cheek pulls me from my terrifying reverie. “Yes. I’m yours, Hunter.”
Releasing the pent-up air in my chest, I rummage in my pocket and pull out the black case that holds three thin delicate bands made of white gold and encrusted with flawless diamonds. “My three little angels,” I whisper, sliding the rings above her engagement ring.
The cheering and whistling fades as I stand and kiss Isabel.
Yeah.
I can love this girl forever.