Purgatory by BG Britton - HTML preview

She is a very attractive lady with a bubbly personality.  At the same time, she does not suffer fools easily. She  is loads of fun and smart too and is a hoot to be  around. She is also a dynamic businesswoman who runs a successful guest house in La Lucia where guests are treated like royalty. You can book directly at Bella Vista Guest House, La Lucia 083 703 5750.

Jenny has the looks and personality to grow the  business in the future and has plans in the pipeline to

Pierre is a world traveller and outspoken critic of the current governing party in South Africa. He is known to be a friend of the legendary Delarey and socialises with members of the Klu Klux Klan. His height and right hook earned him a place in the Sharks rugby line-up in former years and accounts for his stumbling gait today. He only takes instruction from his bright and successful better half, Cheryl, with whom he is constantly in  trouble. Pierre is a frequent flier and lands often in Turkey where he is remembered for his regular trashing of local bougainvillea plants. He acts as an undercover agent for the Stellenbosch white capital mafia and has effectively infiltrated the ISIS organization using his clever disguises. He  seldom can  remember  where  his  car is parked and often finds it parked in his garage at home. He is not comfortable with this Uber thing yet.

Dawn is a Stock Exchange pundit, wine taster of distinction and grandmother to the rich and famous. Known as the black widow in some quarters she is instantly recognisable by her outrageous giggle and laugh routine. She is an original member of the Angelo’s Ladies Club and is a frequent flier to exotic places. Her family despairs of her bohemian lifestyle and are constantly trying to clip her wings. Prefers the company of the younger set and is sometimes spotted downing shooters with her errant grandchildren. She runs a successful Facebook Campaign and is seldom seen without  her  face  buried  in  the  latest  share  tips   or Facebook gossip.

these days on Ambush Alley in the vain hope of a little friendship and a free drink. He is tolerated by most of the inhabitants of the village because of his reputed, but never proven, connection to the Broederbond, Mafia and Sea Point Girl Guides Troop. He frequently arranges impromptu meetings at Luigi’s on Ambush Alley for which minutes are rarely kept. He is a long time soul- mate of Jenny Elkington whom he convinces himself is  a reincarnation of the actress Meg Ryan. Another of his daytime delusions is that he once played    professional football. Seeing his shuffling and uncertain

She is still classically beautiful after giving birth to four talented and gorgeous daughters. Her blue eyes, high cheekbones and blonde hair have been inherited by one of her daughters, Olivia, who is now famous as an international swim suit edition super model. Sue is the energetic owner of ‘Safaris for Africa’ a specialist travel agency offering tours throughout the Southern African sub-continent. Born to a financial mogul father, Sue at once packs beauty and business brains into a tall, willowy frame which makes her the centre of interest of the  rich  and famous in Umhlanga Rocks. A  voracious appetite for chips and Italian Kisses allows her, on occasion, to leave her teetotaller fetish and whirl uncontrollably in dance on the Ambush Alley paving.

He was an aging rock musician with a burgeoning following in Umhlanga Rocks, Maputo, Vereeniging and Denysville. He is known also as the Willy Nelson of Ambush Alley because of his inexplicable predilection with country music. Patrons avoid discussions about the war, the cost of car repairs and past sexual conquests as these topics tend to delay Jeff’s appearance on stage. Seldom in a pleasant mood he is nevertheless regarded as an icon in the Umhlanga Village and is a pioneer of much of the debauchery occurring in the alley.  He  enjoys  a  symbiotic  relationship  with Papa

opportunist in the village. Often seen scurrying between high powered meetings, shopping errands for his wife or frequent cocktail appointments, which occur all day  long, he is a blur of activity in the Umhlanga Village. Exhausted from his frenetic endeavours, he was once found asleep in an empty chest freezer. He is often mistaken  for  Dudley  Moore,  the  intrepid  star  of the movie ‘Arthur’. He travels the world frenetically, often and is sometimes found in two places at the same time. The man is an energetic giant. Chris is also a gadget  fanatic owning every conceivable device that you can fly in, ride on, ride in, communicate with, speak to dubious third parties on or mix cocktails in. His  gorgeous wife just shakes her head resignedly. The lady should be knighted.

 Formerly the Works Manager at Coca-Cola, Bill never goes near the stuff but prefers a wee dram (sometimes more, sometimes a lot more). He can conduct a tour at Spioenkop without spilling a drop and is a raconteur of some distinction. Bill was an erudite confidante of the famous and late war historian Ken Gillings. Although resident in South Africa for over fifty years he has never lost his Clydesdale Shipyards brogue which totally confounds the Zimbabwean waitrons at Luigi’s and most of the patrons. He is presided over by wife Kathleen who allows him out to play with the boys in  the Village on occasion. Bill always says Kathleen left Ireland and came to Scotland to find the right man and got that wrong too.

 specialist and go-go dancer of repute Sissel puts the sizzle into every party and is a favourite with local tipplers along the Ambush Alley strip. When not wiggling and jiving she is a highly qualified guide for visitors to South African shores and sometimes leads large Scandinavian tour groups to the Drakensberg resorts, KwaZulu game lodges and Cape Vineyards. She travels frequently to her native Norway but has lost her Nordic accent speaking today in fluent and well- modulated English. Mother of a delightful son and daughter, Sissel brings an international, poised and sophisticated cosmopolitan atmosphere to proceedings in the alley.

 and just conscientiously drives the camel train from oasis to oasis while Pierre wanders aimlessly in the rear of the procession. An executive in the motor industry she does not abide fools easily and many members of Luigi’s on Ambush Alley bear unhealed wounds from a scrap with the feisty Cheryl. In party mode she is a pleasure to be around and adds to the bohemian and hedonistic mayhem often encountered in the alley. She often steers Pierre home as he suffers from post- traumatic stress developed in Border Wars, bar fights and loose scrums.

 attractive  water  feature.  The  restaurant has  become the clubhouse of the executives of Luigi’s on Ambush Alley and was recently awarded the ‘Unbelievable Red Wine Consumers Award’ for the highest per capita red wine consumption in South Africa. Papa, as he is affectionately known, remains up-beat about most things and liberally dispenses love, free food, free drink and largesse in the tradition of a true Don. Although not expected to kiss his ring Luigi’s on Ambush Alley members nevertheless afford the Don the highest respect, much affection and even settle their bills on occasion as a sign of good faith.

with lashings of red wine he has helped many a wayward lass with new direction in life. A sometime resident and joint property owner in the Seychelles, he often wings it to that exotic island to tend the family property portfolio. Known to some as Mr Pringle  because of his vast collection of designer shirts, he dabbles successfully in the futures markets. When not advising the lovely Belinda or savouring red wine on Ambush Alley, he curries favour and appears to be a favourite with the girls of the Kung Thai restaurant. Colin often exhibits impeccable taste in wine, woman and not song but food. He is contactable only through his attorney.

sarcastic, bright and a perpetual tease, you had better bring your ‘A’ game if you wish to survive an encounter with this hot local in the village. I once saw her verbally savage a local attorney leaving the legal eagle looking like a simpering flightless, featherless chicken. She has an industrious daughter who manages a restaurant in the village and who is regularly found helping victims scorched by her mother. Her patron, the honourable  elder Colin Maclean, attempts constantly to advise this livewire  of fun on etiquette and good social behaviour. This fruitless endeavour certainly accounts for Colin’s several new wrinkles.

She is the widow of the well-loved late Pat Lloyd, a Springbok fisherman and veteran of the Umhlanga Village. Prior to his untimely death he was an enthusiastic tippler on Ambush Alley. Leslie has carried on Pat’s tradition but as yet has no fish named after her. A serious businesswoman in her own right she is the mega-mogul of a furniture manufacturer and retailer in the village. Leslie runs her life with precision using a neatly hand-written diary containing daily ‘to do’ lists. Better leave town if you do not fulfil a task on one of  her lists. She is an enthusiastic member of the ‘Angelo’s Ladies Club’ and keen bridge player. Leslie has great empathy with the younger talent in the village and is known to be a keen supporter of the spritely Bob the Builder and heartthrob Ryno Walker. Frequent traveller her preferred mode of transport is by international luxury liner.

the swine. She makes polite well thought out discussion with parties who can be entrusted with the well- researched dispensed facts. She is currently teaching Gert Lacher the importance of listening and the entire village wishes Jackie success with that particular project. Being dextrous she can drink both white and red wine with equal aplomb. Lunches discretely and often and  can always be relied for restaurant recommendations. She consorts with the vagrant author of this book and does not allow him to wander too far off the  reservation.

mesmerised many a keen, unsuspecting and panting young man in her time. As if God had not endowed her with enough goodies, He had thrown in a caring nature and loads of smarts. She was a budding creative  author, dynamic mom, gorgeous friend, astute bookkeeper and she beguiled all in a charming. While her brother from another mother, Bryan Britton, was searching for an Australian Wine Farmer to light up Kim’s life, she went and found an Austrian mega-mogul by   herself.   Is   anyone’s   daughter   looking   to  be introduced to a distraught, rich Aussie farmer?

wrong as I have heard him correcting grammar  bloopers made by local and international television sports casters. He dines finely and often and is the scourge of waitrons, restaurant managers and owners with his culinary demands. This could be yet another case of the British bringing refined European culinary knowledge to the last outpost of the British Empire.

Colleen is a business mogul in the village with many respected connections. She is the owner of an upmarket art gallery which judging by the quality of Colleen’s classy  outfits and exquisite jewellery, also dabbles occasionally in hot properties. She tolerates the lesser bred members of the executive of Luigi’s on Ambush Alley and is a patient and faithful friend to many. When sufficiently motivated can embezzle wine with the best of them. Almost forgot that she has a lovely sense of humour and laughs with but not at her counterparts. She is also a member of the Saturday Club at the George where she gives the boys a run for their money.

Gert is German by birth but has mastered the English language impressively. He is a manufacturer and marketer of fine jewellery and is the village’s go to man in these matters. Has a son upon whom he dotes and makes his son his number one priority. He is currently taking lessons from Jackie on when and when not to speak. This is still a work in progress at the moment. Is the source of widely diverse information on the music scene and the various musical  genres. He  is not  to  be  challenged on  this subject as those doubting his knowledge invariably end up buying copious rounds of beer.

Despite his advanced years Ryno chases anything rich and female. He was once almost run over in Chartwell Drive whilst pursuing a German Shepherd bitch sitting  in the passenger seat of a BMW Cabriolet. He is the  Don Juan of the Umhlanga Village. Despite  his advanced years he keeps his frame lean on a diet of mulberry leaves, mopani worms and Amstel Light. Besides being an ideal dance partner Ryno shows an astonishing empathy for nature and Zulu culture which led to him being a game ranger for a number of years. He is fully conversant in isiZulu. Not known as a big spender he is nevertheless valued as a guest in the village for his knowledge of KwaZulu Natal fauna, flora and natural history. He is frequently  spotted weaving his way home to Umdloti with his faithful dog Holly at the controls of his pre-war motor cycle.

journeys to far flung destinations on her own. Her bravery is astounding. When not bringing down elephants needing culling she is handing out prizes at St Benedict’s College in Bedfordview. I often wish that I  had a grandmother like her. A founder member of the Angelo’s Ladies Club she is a long-time friend of Steph. She was recently honoured by the mortals on Ambush Alley.

She is now an honorary life member of the executive  of Luigi’s on Ambush Alley.

is always chic, well-groomed and fashionable. Pundits speculate that there is a new man in her life. She meets regularly with her Angelo’s friends who all remain tight lipped. Friend Brenda is no help either saying merely that the whole affair is sub judice. All attempts to follow Steph have proved fruitless and she even gave the slip to John, the village’s only private detective. The author will attempt to discover the truth about Steph’s secret love life before publication of this book. Watch this space.

She  is  an  honorary  life  member  of  the  executive of Luigi’s on Ambush Alley.