Sam Lo, stopover base for 'Beyond Enemy Line” Mission
Danforth, who had yet to change his clothing, sat on a chair beside the empty cot where Krakauer used to sleep.
Some of his belongings were still on the night table next to his bed. Those things were his things, his stuff. The things he’d come and get if he were still alive. Cigarettes, his lighter, an open can of beer and a few of his personal knives, the things he could be back at any moment for.
Krakauer, like the rest of them, possessed almost nothing.
Before they’d spent their leave together, when Krakauer used to say that he had 'no past, no present and no future’ Danforth thought the guy had a thing for melodrama or that he’d stolen the line from a film or something. Ironically however, it was true.
There was no family to ship his belongings to, even if he had any real personal effects to ship.
There was only an adopted Vietnamese daughter, whom Krakauer had decided to keep after a night of partying.
Danforth hadn’t noticed Trautman, who, from out of nowhere, was suddenly in the room with him.
The Colonel was standing quietly at the back of the room.
He was probably there on a bureaucracy errand.
In fact, shortly thereafter, he coughed quietly before saying to Danforth:
“Who has the letter for his family?”
“There's no such letter.”
“What do you mean there’s no letter?”
“What I mean is there wasn’t anybody waiting for Krakauer 'back home'. He was an orphan.”
“Oh, I didn't know.”
“No one did actually. He never talked about it or anything. I’m the only one he told.”
Danforth turned to stare at Krakauer's empty bed. When he eventually turned to look at the Colonel, he said:
“A few years from now, it’ll be like he never even existed.”
“Joseph...”
Trautman moved his hand slowly towards Danforth's shoulder but as soon as the Colonel touched him he jumped out of the chair and put his arms up irritated.
“Jesus Christ, Joseph...”
“Joseph... I knew Lawrence too. I trained him personally for two years, the same way I did with you and all the others. I found a home for that little girl when Lawrence decided he had to save her from that brothel, and that’s not all.
I’m telling you that Lawrence Krakauer died doing what he liked doing. He loved this job. He believed in it.”
“Oh come on, that’s bullshit Colonel.”
Trautman was taken aback; somewhat startled like when you’re looking in a drawer and you realize there’s a spider in it.
“Don't give me any of that bullshit about loyalty, country, honour or the corps itself – Danforth said to the Colonel, looking right at him. Then he added - Our unit doesn't even exist, does it? We’re so secret that some of us can’t get medals for acts we’ve done, in fear that the press might notice. If everything we do really is for the sake of country, then how is it that the country itself, doesn’t even know we exist?”
Trautman didn't know what to say at first.
It seemed ...
It seemed as though Krakauer’s death was bringing to light the real Danforth. It seemed his true colours were coming out.
“Not even God on earth could win this war. So tell me then what we’re really fucking doing all this for Colonel. The real reasons behind it and afterwards, while we’re at it, why don’t you tell me who the fuck we really are, since we don't even exist. Who are we, Sir?”
“Well, you’re Secret Service.”
“We are soldiers!” Danforth protested.
“You’re SOG,” Trautman said finally as he held his head up with pride.
“And not only are you SOG, but you’re the SOG Baker Team. You’re the diamond tip of it all
From this point on, you’ve become the benchmark that Special Forces will aspire to in the future to come.
Because what you’re doing here and now, what you are and the way you’re fighting will go on forever.
Do you know why?
Because every other war after Vietnam will be like Vietnam.
How do you think we’ll be fighting in future wars to come? Using atomic bombs perhaps? Oh, come now. No one can win using atomic bombs.
The enemy will no longer wear uniforms and will start attacking civilians from within rather than the military per se from without, causing their downfall from the inside rather than defeating them on the field. This war... You only see this war, while I see from this war onward.
That's why I did everything I could to make you the best.
The best – thought Danforth.
That put him in a bit of a predicament, because although a lot could be said about the two Baker Teams per se, nothing could be said about whether they were best or not.
No other team in the world knew how to play chess with death better than they did.
No other team knew how to run, march, orientate themselves, skydive or fight better than them. Not to mention how much they knew about that war at that point, and the extent to which they’d studied it.
They knew it as well as the generals did now.
“But there's always a price to pay, son. For everything, and the price to pay to be the best is the highest. We were all aware of that from the beginning however, and we accepted it. Right? You accepted it too, if I remember correctly.”
Trautman paused for a moment.
Then the tone of his voice changed.
“Listen Joseph... I’ve gotten to know you well these past few years too. I know it’s the pain talking right now, because I know you’re stronger than that.
Now, I know you’ll swallow the pain the same way you always have before, and that you’ll keep on doing it the same way you always have.
You also won’t go on as if nothing has happened because you don't care about your friend, but because you are stronger than this damn war.
You’re stronger than any pain this damn Vietnam could ever inflict on you.
Most importantly of all, it's just pain Joseph. It’ll pass. It always does. It’ll pass even if under these circumstances, Krack was your best friend.”
“He really was,” Danforth interrupted quietly, who now seemed in a trance.
“That’s right, but do you know what your best friend is ‘doing’ now?”
“He was my best friend and now, because of me, we can't even bury his body.”
“Do you know what Krakauer's doing right now?”
Danforth turned to look at Trautman, but this time his frown turned into a smile and he began to cry quietly.
He knew exactly what Krakauer was doing at the time.
Did he ever!
Joseph wasn’t ashamed to show the Colonel he was crying, but instead, still smiling, he went on to say:
“He’s planning his next move, Sir.”
“You’re damn right he is, son.”