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Chester, Johnathan
Johnathan Chester was a thirty-one year old soldier, but, most of all, he was a logistics man.
He’d been working in Army logistics for years, and when he ended up in Vietnam, he was very well aware of how dangerous it was. He never thought that he would ever find himself in a battle, and even less that he’d ever end up as a POW.
Above all, he never expected to be a POW for two endless years.
That night, Chester had a dream about an old deserted house.
It was old and decrepit, and from the front, it resembled a belfry it was so tall.
He was inside, standing on the top floor and looking down onto a spiral staircase below him.
The wooden steps were all half-broken and quite dangerous, but since there was no other way down, he would have to use them.
He certainly couldn't stay there forever, so he didn’t have much other choice.
Chester cautiously set his foot down onto the first step, checking to make sure it would stand his weight and then carefully proceeded with the second.
Unlike the first, the second step seemed a bit too shaky for his liking, but just as he moved to step back, it was already too late.
The wood under him gave way abruptly, and Chester went straight down like a torpedo, right through it.
Just before hitting the ground, his eyes shot open.
There was nothing around him except a blanket of darkness that lay over the jungle.
Chester felt all shaken up and confused after realizing he’d fallen into some kind of black hole. He was still under shock over what had just happened, when everything suddenly lit up into a glowing red colour all around him. A bearded face appeared before his eyes.
“You were talking in your sleep man. Calm down, it was a dream, okay?”
Chester calmed down immediately.
“Sorry”
“There's no need for apologies,” replied Eagle (Chester didn’t know his real name was Danforth).
Chester could feel he was a bit teary eyed.
It was so dark that Danforth couldn't possibly have noticed it, but when he did, Chester was sure his voice would’ve given him away.
All this emotion was a rarity for him.
After what seemed like a lifetime, strong feelings of emotion like fear, rage and hope were finally coming back him.
Yep, believe it or not, even hope.
From the very moment he got his freedom, the emotion causing him the most grief was without a doubt hope itself.
Hope was really too painful to deal with.
Chester was slowly becoming human again.
“Everything alright buddy?” asked Danforth as if he could hear Chester’s feelings too.
“I don't think I'll be able to get back to sleep again tonight”
There was a real and proper battle of the wills going on inside him.
On the one side, the humanity in him was surfacing, while on the other, he was still the emotionless robot he’d turned into in captivity. The voice in his head screamed at him, insisting he not take any unnecessary risks and wait it out before becoming human again. Indisputably, that voice represented the rock-hard part of him, with little time for emotion.
Reprogramming the human aspect back into him again was anything but easy, and Chester had learnt that lesson all too well during his captivity.
Don't show them your weaknesses.
That's of the utmost importance if you want to survive.
Don't ever give them any kind of satisfaction, ever, because if you do, they’ll turn your life into a living hell.
Never let them know what you’re feeling.
The problem was however, that there was a very fine line between not showing your emotions and becoming an unemotional machine.
You have to look like a machine, act like a machine and finally become one if you want to survive.
“Calm down” repeated Eagle.
“You are still too agitated”
In all reality, Chester was rocking back and forth, not unlike a mental patient.
Escaping had finally pushed him over the line.
“Do you want to talk? - asked Eagle – We can talk, if you whisper. The others are on guard duty, so it’s safe to talk here. Ok?”
Chester nodded but Danforth could barely tell it was so dark.
“You know what? I would seriously give my right hand for a smoke right now. Wouldn’t you?”
Chester didn’t answer.
He was motionless, as though he hadn’t heard a single thing he’d said.
“How long have you been prisoners?”
“Well, I’ve been one for two years whereas Robert has for five I think”
-
For Danforth, those words went down about as easily as a spoonful of castor oil.
Chester didn’t notice a thing.
A variety of things may have been going through his head but they all pertained to the mission.
His didn’t really care about Chester, not at that point anyways.
It was nothing more than curiosity.
-
“Who's president now?” the hostage asked.
“Nixon. He just got into office”
“Fuck. I don't even know who the fuck he is”
“He was Eisenhower's fucking vice president. Come on, man”
“Oh, that guy. yeah right. I do remember him”
Neither said a word as they lay in the dark.
This time it was Danforth who broke the silence.
“Was Robertson a friend of yours?”
Chester started crying and this time there was no holding back.
Danforth waited patiently for him to stop.
He waited for a long time.
Then Chester's voice rose from the sobs.
“For two years Robert was the only family I had. When I got captured, he’d already been a prisoner for three years, and had even learnt Vietnamese. But I swear – and everyone can confirm it – that he never broke the code of conduct, not even once”
Danforth wasn’t completely convinced.
In all those years, God only knew what the Viet had done to him.
Chester felt the need to continue:
“Right from the start we got by with the little we had and took care of each other. Mostly, he taught me how to eat, or, shall I say how to keep everything down. He was a pilot and trained in how to behave if captured, unlike me. I used to think that eating what they gave me would kill me, and at first, I refused. I was wrong though, man oh man was I wrong! I tried to be a tough guy with the Vietcong too. I would insult them, react to them and obviously, never obeyed them but that was dead wrong too. He taught me how to survive there. He really did”
His voice broke again and at that point Danforth could imagine him crying in the dark.
“It just doesn't make sense,” he said.
“It doesn't make any sense that a man should survive that kind of hell for five very long years, only to die the day he’s freed. If he’d died five years earlier, it would’ve saved him a world of suffering, wouldn’t it have? Do you see what I’m saying Eagle? Do you realize that none of this makes any kind of fucking sense?”
“The wound he had on his hand for instance, fill me in on how it happened”
“Lowell got it from trying to escape. You don’t know just how many times I told him to not even think about it. We all used to say it to him, but he never listened.
Given that he had only been there three months, well, at that juncture, he was going through one of the worst phases of captivity. It’s around then that you come to terms with the reality of it all. You reach the inevitable conclusion that you’ll be there for the rest of your life. Do you know what I mean?”
Danforth didn’t in the least.
He couldn't even imagine it, nor did he ever want to.
“While we were moving to a new camp, Lowell decided to make an attempt. We were nothing but slaves to them, or Guinea pigs at best Even after two years they kept beating me like it was the first day They never got tired of it. We were only a means to vent their rage and nothing more. Beating an American increased soldiers morale tenfold.
Sometimes we became the prize, given as a reward to the most deserving for something he’d done.
They had twenty minutes, and the only condition was that they couldn’t use knives. Only officers were allowed to make us bleed but only under the supervision of a doctor.
Robert got beaten once a week no differently from anybody else despite having been there for such a long time he was practically their butler. Most importantly however, for the Vietcong, he was a precious interpreter.
Nevertheless, they never grew tired of beating us.
Their hate never got old, it only grew but never passed. At every personnel change, they became animals again, and so, on went the beatings, excruciatingly hard labour and so on.
They used to change personnel often enough that we were always strangers to them.
At that last camp, where you attacked, they were really monsters, especially towards those Laotian families.”
Chester paused in silence for a moment before continuing.
“They made women and children work with no exception. At times,, they randomly picked a woman, brought her to the barracks and raped her. There were even a couple of abortions, at least. I’m sure of it because...”
Chester couldn’t finish his sentence though, leaving it incomplete.
Now Danforth could see it.
Chester was looking into the darkness like it was a window in his mind.
So Danforth stopped him:
“When we attacked we did not know about the other slaves. The Vietcong use people without a uniform every day. We did not understand”
“I know. I was in the hut too when they were shooting at us. Where were you?”
“I was on top of the mountain”
Neither of them knew what else to say.
The dark blue sky became a little lighter and was finally visible past the jungle’s treetops and branches.
“You know, honestly speaking, I don't think we are going to make it” Chester said.
“You should give me a gun, just in case we get captured again. I’m telling you this because I’m not going back there ever again, not now, not ever. I’m not as strong as Robert was, to stand all those years. He was the better man. I should’ve died in his place. Give me a gun Eagle, so if they ever catch me, I’ll kill myself”
“Hey”
“No, man, please, don't let them take me back”
“Hey, calm down, alright”
“What's your name?”
“I told you, it's Eagle”
“No, your real name”
“I can't tell you, man”
“I need to know who you are, who you all are. That scar near your eye, how did you get it?”
“Hey, come on, that’s enough ok”
“We are never going to make it. You can’t imagine what's between us and the border, but I’ve actually seen it”
“We will radio for a chopper long before getting that far”
“None of you would have ever come here, if you’d actually known what stands between us and that border”
“That’s enough I said”
“No. I’m not going to kid myself about ever getting home, and you shouldn't either”
“Oh Jesus Christ, that’s more than enough, okay? Stop this ruckus and try to get some sleep, now. Save your energy and don’t think about anyone except yourself, okay? Let us take care of the rest. Trust me”
“Eagle, just tell me one thing, are we really going to make it?”
“Of course we are. What the fuck man, we are the Baker team”