Krakauer
The moment he set foot in that bar, Krakauer felt a strong feeling of anguish in him, and he couldn’t shake it because of the girls there. It was full of those kind of girls. They were everywhere, all over the place.
He’d known ahead of time that there would be those kind of girls there, but from the moment he walked in he honestly couldn’t help feeling it – it was almost horrid like – and got stronger the longer he stayed.
The worst thing was that those girls where actually there for his friends, who were almost his brothers by then, and the family he’d never had. They didn’t think the fact that those girls were “those kind” of girls or that they were there in the first place was a bad thing at all. Actually, it was the complete opposite.
In Ortega and Coletta’s opinion, at that point in time, those young women were, the coolest thing that could ever have happened to them.
In theory, those bitches were there for him too, if he wanted, and all things considered, a part of him wouldn’t mind one of those kinds of girls for real, even if he thought that was absolutely terrible.
When Krakauer realized that eventually Ortega and Coletta would actually get together with those girls, he felt paralysed and short of breath.
Ortega and Coletta on the other hand, didn’t have any problem with going out with them, greeting them, hugging them and commenting on them while Krakauer merely stayed behind and on the side lines.
“Check out those tits” said Ortega who was very drunk by then.
Your mother was a whore, Lawrence – said a distant voice from his past, echoing in his head. He couldn't remember exactly when he’d heard that comment for the first time, but he had heard and reheard it thousands of times in his head since then and for the rest of his life.
That's not true –another voice answered, as quickly as it always seemed to.
That’s not true! That's not true! That's not true!
You know it's true.
Krakauer looked down and used the excuse of going to get another beer so he didn’t have to follow Ortega and Coletta walking to those girls.
They are not like that – Krakauer thought.
Neither Johnny nor Manuel is that kind.
We’ve suffered together through Fort Bragg's selection and training. We have known each other now for a couple of years at least. Even Danforth was a little racist before meeting Barry
Even if they found out who I really was they’d still be my friends.
Lawrence wasn’t so sure about that though, especially since he didn’t accept himself in the first place. So he picked up his beer gulping it down almost furiously while his friends, who were smitten by the girls, didn’t even notice he was gone.
Krakauer turned and glanced in their direction and looked at the girls and then at his friends who were hugging them, buying them drinks and pin-on corsages and he almost felt happy for them, until a horrible feeling suddenly came over him.
So, that's the way it happened.
That's how I was born.
With the exception of his friends, who actually wouldn’t do anything of that kind, many of the soldiers Krakauer had met in the past would have, and that bar was full of guys like that. In fact, a lot of them wouldn’t have any qualms in the least about getting one of those girls pregnant or abandoning illegitimate kids as soon as their tour came to an end. How could anyone possibly get a woman pregnant with their own child and then go back to The US like she never even existed?
Was that the war's fault? No, it wasn’t.
The war was basically another excuse.
Maybe at another time or in another place but that's exactly how it happened.
Krakauer felt like somebody had sucker punched him.
So, that's the way it happened.
He suddenly felt sick.
He must have drunk too fast and suddenly felt short of breath.
“Come on Lawrence, don't be shy!” said Coletta, but Krakauer pretended not to hear him because the music was too loud.
Krakauer drank, took a breath and drank again.
No one was supposed to catch on to what was going on inside him.
After downing the better part of his drink he began concentrating harder and switched over to 'mission mode'.
A mission was precisely what this feat had become and this mission’s objective was to look as normal as possible.
It took about two minutes, but only then did he feel up to going to where the others were, and get closer to those girls.