“Sleeping in enemy territory isn’t comparable to any other experience in the world.
It's more like passing out than sleeping.
While you’re trying to fall asleep every part of you rebels, reminding you that you can't really fall fast asleep because 'they' could come and get you at any moment.
That's the reason why you can’t let yourself go completely.
You’re afraid that if you close your eyes, you may never open them again, so when you finally surrender to the darkness, it's only because of extreme exhaustion. In the end fatigue always beats anxiety and you fall asleep while this odd kind of inner struggle takes place inside of you.
That's how come you never really sleep.
You can’t fall asleep, you don’t dream and you don't sleep.
It's like you don’t exist, and that's it.
You close your eyes and when you open them again two hours have passed in a blink of an eye.
And nothing else”
Manuel Ortega, 1969