Jason had never been so bored. Work in Private Equity was supposed to be exciting, he thought, but here he was, at four in the afternoon, playing golf by himself. Three hundred thousand dollars a year and performance-based carry just barely made up for the drudgery. Work at Riverstone wasn’t all bad, but it was far from exhilarating, and his dreary colleagues left his appetite for excitement unabated. The girlfriend that awaited at home was similarly problematic. Beautiful to behold, but in the end, unsatisfying.
Diving head first into risk management, he had gained his due recognition. He could at least take some pleasure in that. While he waited to tee up, he remembered that he still needed to prepare his talk for The Institute of Risk Management next month. The event was in Las Vegas and Riverstone was covering all the expenses, so that was something he could look forward to. He resolved to devote more free time at work building the presentation, rather than spending it at the golf course.
The presentation served to distract him from his displeasure with firm leadership. Despite all he did, along with his colleagues, to optimize the funds’ returns to their investors, the partners deemed it necessary to slap hefty bribes in the greasy palms of New York City officials and the placement agents they worked with. He’d just learned of the case last week. Five million bucks to that schmuck Hank Morris? The city pension funds would likely have invested with Riverstone without his dubious ‘services.’
Jason wasn’t sure what bothered him more, the impropriety of the bribe or the fact that it dwarfed his own compensation in comparison.
Jason was on the green, when his phone rang. Annoyed, he pulled the phone out and moved it to his ear in a practiced motion.
“This is Jason.”
“No shit, why would someone else pick up your phone?”
Rohan hadn’t lost his confrontational sense of humor at least, he thought.
“Nice to hear from you Rohan. How are you?”
“I’m good man. What’s all that wind?”
”I’m on the golf course, what’s up?”
“So that’s what you’re up to these days. That’s good man, do something that helps you relax. You look like you’ve aged 10 years since I last saw you. At least from your picture in the conference brochure.”
Jason contemplated hanging up and let Rohan know as much.
“Sorry, sorry, I was joking, if anything you look more distinguished. I read that girls see lines as a sign of maturity and ability to handle responsibility. Is it working for you?”
“And is that how you’ve retained your youthfulness, Rohan? Reading Sixteen?” Jason retorted.
They moved past the pleasantries and Jason asked why Rohan had called.
“I called because I’ve got a job for you, we’re going to break you out. No more selling toxic assets to pensioners and renting out foreclosed houses back to foreclosed ex-homeowners.”
“You know very well that buying foreclosed real estate is Blackstone’s game not ours.”
“I know, I know. Anyway, I didn’t call you to talk shit, though that was definitely a welcome bonus. Seriously, we want you to be our Chief Risk Officer.”
“Who’s we?”
“Glad you asked,” said Rohan pausing for effect. “We are Legion Financial.”
“Hold on,” Jason motioned to a restless group waiting nearby, indicating to them to play through.
Rohan gave him the same rundown he had given Eric, knowing Jason would be an easier sell.
At the end, he said, “Listen Jason, I have to run. But send over your current contract and we’ll bump you all across the board, twenty plus. Sign the offer and send it back to me by the end of the week. Oh, one last thing, you’ll need to move to Malta.”
“Malta? What the fuck? Rohan, I have a flat and a girlfriend here, not to mention a fucking dog. I’m not leaving them and moving to Malta!”
“Bring ‘em along, it’ll be fun. Family picnic to a sundrenched isle in the middle of the Mediterranean? Get her a new set of luggage, and leave a note in it. Promise you it’ll work.”
“What?”
“My next book is on how to handle different situations with your girlfriend, that’s my advice for telling her about a career change or work move. Wrap drastic news in a present and promise of adventure.”
“You don’t even have a girlfriend and you’re writing a book on how to deal with one.” Jason shook his head in disbelief, “What’s this world coming to?”
“Isn’t that what academics do? Makes us impartial. Anyway, seriously, I’ve gotta get moving. Send over that contract. Look forward to working with you again, Jase.”
<Click>