CHAPTER X.
MUCH ADO ABOUT ALMOST NOTHING—A TROOPER.
Mr. Ormonde Delorme, Second Lieutenant of the 34th Lancers, sat in his quarters at Aldershot, reading and re-reading with mingled feelings a letter from the woman he loved.
It is one thing to extract a promise from The Woman that she will turn to you for help if ever your help should be needed (knowing that there could be no greater joy than to serve her at any cost whatsoever, though it led to death or ruin), but it is quite another thing when that help is invited for the benefit of the successful rival!
To go to the world’s end for Lucille were a very small matter to Ormonde Delorme—but to go across the road for the man who had won her away, was not.
For Dam had won her away from him, Delorme considered, inasmuch as he had brought him to Monksmead, time after time, had seen him falling in love with Lucille, had received his confidences, and spoken no warning word. Had he said but “No poaching, Delorme,” nothing more would have been necessary; he would have kept away thenceforth, and smothered the flame ere it became a raging and consuming fire. No, de Warrenne had served him badly in not telling him plainly that there was an understanding between him and his cousin, in letting him sink more and more deeply over head and ears in love, in letting him go on until he proposed to Lucille and learnt from her that while she liked him better than any man in the world but one—she did not love him, and that, frankly, yes, she did love somebody else, and it was hopeless for him to hope….
He read the letter again:—
“MY DEAR ORMONDE,
“This is a begging letter, and I should loathe to write it, under the circumstances, to any man but such a one as you. For I am going to ask a great deal of you and to appeal to that nobleness of character for which I have always admired you and which made you poor Dam’s hero from Lower School days at Wellingborough until you left Sandhurst (and, alas! quarrelled with him—or rather with his memory—about me). That was a sad blow to me, and I tell you again as I told you before, Dam had not the faintest notion that I cared for him and would not have told me that he cared for me had I not shown it. Your belief that he didn’t trouble to warn you because he had me safe is utterly wrong, absurd, and unjust.
“When you did me the great honour and paid me the undeserved and tremendous compliment of asking me to marry you, and I told you that I could not, and why I could not, I never dreamed that Dam could care for me in that way, and I knew that I should never marry any one at all unless he did.
“And on the same occasion, Ormonde, you begged me to promise that if ever you could serve me in any way, I would ask for your help. You were a dear romantic boy then, Ormonde, and I loved you in a different way, and cried all night that you and I could not be friends without thought of love, and I most solemnly promised that I would turn to you if I ever needed help that you could give. (Alas, I thought to myself then that nobody in the world could do anything for me that Dam could not do, and that I should never need help from others while he lived.)
“I want your help, Ormonde, and I want it for Dam—and me.
“You have, of course, heard some garbled scandal about his being driven away from home and cut off from Sandhurst by grandfather. I need not ask if you have believed ill of him and I need not say he is absolutely innocent of any wrong or failure whatever. He is not an effeminate coward, he is as brave as a lion. He is a splendid hero, Ormonde, and I want you to simply strangle and kill any man who says a word to the contrary.
“When he left home, he enlisted, and Haddon Berners saw him in uniform at Folkestone where he had gone from Canterbury (cricket week) to see Amelia Harringport’s gang. Amelia whose sister is to be the Reverend Mrs. Canon Mellifle at Folkestone, you know, met the wretched Haddon being rushed along the front by a soldier and nearly died at the sight—she declares he was weeping!
“Directly she told me I guessed at once that he had met Dam and either insulted or cut him, and that poor Dam, in his bitter humour and self-loathing had used his own presence as a punishment and had made the Haddock walk with him! Imagine the company of Damocles de Warrenne being anything but an ennobling condescension! Fancy Dam’s society a horrible injury and disgrace! To a thing like Haddon Berners!
“Well, I simply haunted Folkestone after that, and developed a love for Amelia Harringport and her brothers that surprised them—hypocrite that I am! (but I was punished when they talked slightingly of Dam and she sneered at the man whom she had shamelessly pursued when all was well with him. She ‘admires’ Haddon now.)
“At last I met him on one of my week-end visits—on a Sunday evening it was—and I simply flew at him in the sight of all respectable, prayer-book-displaying, before-Church-parading, well-behaved Folkestone, and kissed him nearly to death…. And can you believe a woman could be such a fool, Ormonde—while carefully noting the ‘2 Q.G.’ on his shoulder-straps, I never thought to find out his alias—for of course he hides his identity, thinking as he does, poor darling boy, that he has brought eternal disgrace on an honoured name—a name that appears twice on the rolls of the V.C. records.
“Ormonde, were it not that it would increase his misery and agony of mind I would run away from Monksmead, take a room near the Queen’s Greys barracks, and haunt the main gates until I saw him again. He should then tell me how to communicate with him, or I would hang about there till he did. I’d marry him ‘off the strength’ and live (till I am ‘of age’) by needlework if he would have me. But, of course, he’d never understand that I’d be happier, and a better woman, in a Shorncliffe lodging, as a soldier’s wife, than ever I shall be here in this dreary Monksmead—until he is restored and re-habilitated (is that the word? I mean—comes into his own as a brave and noble gentleman who never did a mean or cowardly action in his life).
“And he is so thin and unhappy looking, Ormonde, and his poor hands are in such a state and his beautiful hair is all hacked about and done like a soldier’s, all short except for a long piece brushed down his forehead and round to his cap—oh, dreadful … and he has a scar on his face! No wonder Amelia never recognized him. Oh, do help me, Ormonde. I must find out how to address him. I dare not let them know there is a D. de Warrenne in the regiment—and he’d never get it either—he’s probably Smith or Jones or Robinson now. If some horrid Sergeant called out ‘Trooper D. de Warrenne,’ when distributing letters, Dam would never answer to the name he thinks he has eternally disgraced, and disgrace it further by dragging it in the mire of the ranks. How can people be such snobs? Isn’t a good private a better man than a bad officer? Why should there be any ‘taint’ about serving your country in any capacity?
“How can I find him, Ormonde, unless you help me? I could pay a servant to hang about the barracks until he recognized Dam—but that would be horrible for the poor boy. He’d deny it and say the man was mad, I expect—and it would be most unpleasant and unfair to Dam to set some one to find out from his comrades what he calls himself. If he chooses to hide from what he thinks is the chance of further disgracing his people, and suffers what he does in order to remain hidden, shall I be the one to do anything to show him up and cause him worse suffering—expose him to a servant?
“How can I get him a letter that shall not have his name on it? If I wrote to his Colonel or the Adjutant and enclosed a letter with just ‘Dam’ on it they’d not know for whom it was meant—and I dare not tell them his real name.
“Could you get a letter to him, Ormonde, without letting him know that you know he is a private soldier, and without letting a soul know his real name?
“I do apologize for the length of this interminable letter, but if you only knew the relief it is to me to be doing something that may help him, and to be talking, or rather writing about him, you would forgive me.
“His name must not be mentioned here. Think of it!
“Oh, if it only would not make him more unhappy, I would go to him this minute, and refuse ever to leave him again.
“Does that sound unmaidenly, Ormonde? I don’t care whether it does or not, nor whether it is or not. I love him, and he loves me. I am his friend. Could I stay here in luxury if it would make him happier to marry me? Am I a terribly abandoned female? I told Auntie Yvette just what I had done, and though it simply saved her life to know he had not committed suicide (I believe she worshipped father)—she seemed mortally shocked at me for behaving so. I am not a bit ashamed though. Dam is more important than good form, and I had to show him in the strongest possible way that he was dearer to me than ever. If it was ‘behaving like a servant-girl’—all honour to servant-girls, I think … considering the circumstances. You should have seen his face before he caught sight of me. Yes—and after, too. Though really I think he suffered more from my kissing him—in uniform, in the street—than if I had cut him. It would be only for the minute though … it must comfort him now, and always, to think that I love him so (since he loves me—and always has done). But what I must know before I can sleep peacefully again is the name by which he goes in the ‘2 Q.G’s.,’ so that I can write and comfort him regularly, send him things, and make him buy himself out when he sees he has been foolish and wicked in supposing that he has publicly disgraced himself and his name and us. And I’m going to make Grandfather’s life a misery, and go about skinny and ragged and weeping, and say: ‘This is how you treat the daughter of your dead friend, you wicked, cruel, unjust old man,’ until he relents and sends for Dam and gets him into the Army properly…. But I am afraid Dam will think it his silly duty to flee from me and all my works, and hide himself where the names of de Warrenne and Stukeley are unknown and cannot be disgraced.
“I rely on you, Ormonde,
“Your ashamed grateful friend,
“LUCILLE GAVESTONE.”
Second Lieutenant Delorme rang the bell.
“Bradshaw,” he said, as his soldier-servant appeared. “And get me a telegraph form.”
“Yussir,” said Private Billings, and marched to the Mess ante-room purposefully, with hope in his heart that Mr. Delorme ’ad nothink less than a ’alf dollar for the telegram and would forgit to arx for the chainge, as was his occasional praiseworthy procedure.
Mr. Delorme, alas, proved to have a mean and vulgar shilling, the which he handed to Private Billings with a form containing the message:—
“Can do. So cheer up. Writing his adjutant, pal of mine. Coming over Saturday if get leave. Going Shorncliffe if necessary. Leave due. Dam all right. Will blow over. Thanks for letting me help.”
“’Fraid they don’ give no tick at the Telegraft Orfis, Sir,” observed Private Billings, who, as quondam “trained observer” of his troop, had noted the length of the telegram and the shortness of the allowance therefor.
“What the deuce…?”
“This is more like a ’alf-dollar job, Sir,” he groaned, waving the paper, “wot wiv’ the haddress an’ all.”
“Oh—er—yes, bit thick for a bob, perhaps; here’s half a sov….”
“That’s more like ‘’Eres to yer,’ Mr. D——” remarked the good man—outside the door. “And don’t yer werry about trifles o’ chainge. Be a gent!”
Lucille read and re-read the telegram in many ways.
“Can do so. Cheer up. Writing his adjutant. Pal of mine coming over Saturday. If get leave going Shorncliffe if necessary leave due Dam. All right will blow over thanks.” No, that wouldn’t do.
(What a pity people would not remember when writing telegrams that the stops and capitals they put are ignored by the operators.)
At last, the wish being father to the thought, she decided it to be “Can do” (she knew that to be a navy expression). “So cheer up. Writing. His adjutant a pal of mine. Coming over Saturday if I get leave. Going Shorncliffe if necessary. Leave due. Dam all right. Will blow over. Thanks for letting me help.” Which was not far wrong.
Dear old Ormonde! She knew he would not fail her—although he had been terribly cut up by her rejection of his suit and by his belief that Dam had let him haunt her in the knowledge that she was his own private property, secured to him.
Having dispatched his telegram and interviewed his Adjutant, Captain, and Colonel, Mr. Delorme sat him down and wrote to Lieutenant the Honourable Reginald Montague Despencer, Adjutant of the Queen’s Greys:—
“MY DEAR MONTY,
“At the Rag. the other day, respectfully dining with my respected parent, I encountered, respectfully dining with his respected parent, your embryo Strawberry Leaf, old ‘Punch Peerson’. (Do you remember his standing on his head on the engine at Blackwater Station when he was too ‘merry’ to be able to stand steady on his feet?) I learnt that he is still with you and I want him to do something for me. He’ll be serious about it if you speak to him about it—and I am writing to him direct. I’m going to send you a letter (under my cover), and on it will be one word ‘Dam’ (on the envelope, of course). I want you to give this to Punch and order him to show it privately to the gentlemen-rankers of the corps till one says he recognizes the force of the word (pretty forceful, too, what!) and the writing. To this chap he is to give it. Be good to your poor ‘rankers,’ Monty, I know one damned hard case among them. No fault of his, poor chap. I could say a lot—surprise you—but I mustn’t. It’s awfully good of you, old chap. I know you’ll see it through. It concerns as fine a gentleman as ever stepped and the finest woman!
“Ever thine,
“O. DELORME.”
“Look here, my lambs—or rather, Black Sheep,” quoth Trooper Punch Peerson one tea-time to Troopers Bear, Little, Goate, Nemo, Burke, Jones, and Matthewson, “I suppose none of you answers to the name of ‘Dam’?”
No man answered, and Trooper Peerson looked at the face of no man, nor any one at any other.
“No. I thought not. Well, I have a letter addressed in that objurgatory term, and I am going to place it beneath my pillow before I go out to-night. If it is there when I come in I’ll destroy it unopened. ‘Nuff said,’ as the lady remarked when she put the mop in her husband’s mouth. Origin of the phrase ‘don’t chew the mop,’ I should think,” and he babbled on, having let his unfortunate friends know that for one of them he had a letter which might be received by the addressed without the least loss of his anonymity.
Dam’s heart beat hard and seemed to swell to bursting. He felt suffocated.
“Quaint superscription,” he managed to observe. “How did you come by it?” and then wished he had not spoken…. Who but the recipient could be interested in its method of delivery? If anyone suspected him of being “Dam” would they not at once connect him with the notorious Damocles de Warrenne, ex-Sandhurst cadet, proclaimed coward and wretched neurotic decadent before the pained, disgusted eyes of his county, kicked out by his guardian … a disgrace to two honoured names. … “The Adjer handed it over. Thought I was the biggest Damn here, I suppose,” Trooper Peerson replied without looking up from his plate. “Practical silly joke I should think. No one here with such a l_oath_some, name as Dam, of course,” but Trooper Punch Peerson had his philosophic “doots”. He, like others of that set, had heard of a big chap who was a marvel at Sandhurst with the gloves, sword, horse, and other things, and who had suddenly and marvellously disappeared into thin air leaving no trace behind him, after some public scandal or other…. But that was no concern of Trooper Punch Peerson, gentleman….
With a wary eye on Peerson, Dam lay on his bed, affecting to read a stale and dirty news-sheet. He saw him slip something beneath his pillow and swagger out of the barrack-room. Anon no member of the little band of gentleman-rankers was left. Later, the room was empty, save for a heavily snoring drunkard and a busy polisher who, at the shelf-table at the far end of the room, laboured on his jack-boots, hissing the while, like a groom with a dandy-brush.
Going to Peerson’s bed, Dam snatched the letter, returned to his own, and flung himself down again—his heart pumping as though he had just finished a mile race. Lucille had got a letter to him somehow. Lucille was not going to drop him yet—in spite of having seen him a red-handed, crop-haired, “quiff”-wearing, coarse-looking soldier…. Was there another woman in the world like Lucille? Would any other girl have so risen superior to her breeding, and the teachings of Miss Smellie, as to do what she thought right, regardless of public scandal…? But he must not give her the opportunity of being seen talking to a soldier again—much less kissing one. Not that she would want to kiss him again like that. That was the kiss of welcome, of encouragement, of proof that she was unchanged to him—her first sight of him after the débâcle. It was the unchecked impulse of a noble heart—and the action showed that Miss Smellie had been unable to do it much harm with her miserable artificialities and stiflings of all that is natural and human and right…. Should he read the letter at once or treasure it up and keep it as a treat in store? He would hold it in his hand unopened and imagine its contents. He would spin out the glorious pleasure of possession of an unopened letter from Lucille. He could, of course, read it hundreds of times—but he would then soon know it by heart, and although its charm and value would be no less, it would merge with his other memories and become a memory itself. He did not want it to become a memory too soon.
The longer it remained an anticipation, the more distant the day when it became a memory….
With a groan of “Oh, my brain’s softening and I’m becoming a sentimentalist,” he opened the letter and read Lucille’s loving, cheering—yet agonizing, maddening—words:—
“MY OWN DARLING DAM,
“If this letter reaches you safely you are to sit down at once and write to me to tell me how to address you by post in the ordinary way. If you don’t I shall come and haunt the entrance to the Lines and waylay you. People will think I am a poor soul whom you have married and deserted, or whom you won’t marry. I’ll show up your wicked cruelty to a poor girl! How would you like your comrades to say ‘Look out, Bill, your pore wife’s ’anging about the gates’ and to have to lie low—and send out scouts to see if the coast was clear later on? Don’t you go playing fast and loose with me, master Dam, winning my young affections, making love to me, kissing me—and then refusing to marry me after it all! I don’t want to be too hard on you (and I am reasonable enough to admit that one-and-two a day puts things on a smaller scale than I have been accustomed to in the home of my fathers—or rather uncles, or perhaps uncles-in-law), and like the kind Tailor whom the Haddock advertises (and like the unkind Judge before whom he’ll some day come for something) I will ‘give you time’. But it’s only a respite, Mr. de Warrenne. You are not going to trifle with my young feelings and escape altogether. I have my eye on you—and if I respect your one-and-twopence a day now, it is on the clear understanding that you share my Little All on the day I come of age. I will trust you once more, although you have treated me so—bolting and hiding from your confiding fiancée.
“So write and tell me what you call yourself, so that I can write to you regularly and satisfy myself that you are not escaping me again. How could you treat a poor trusting female so—and then when she had found you again, and was showing her delight and begging to be married and settled in life—to rush away from her, leaving her and her modest matrimonial proposals scorned and rejected! For shame, Sir! I’ve a good mind to come and complain to your Colonel and ask him to make you keep your solemn promises and marry me….
“Now look here, darling, nonsense aside—I solemnly swear that if you don’t buy yourself out of the army on the day I come of age (or before, if you will, and can) I will really come and make you marry me and I will live with you as a soldier’s wife. If you persist in your wrong-headed notion of being a ‘disgrace’ (you!) then we’ll just adopt the army as a career, and we’ll go through all the phases till you get a Commission. I hope you won’t take this course—but if you do, you’ll be a second Hector Macdonald and retire as Lieutenant-General Sir Damocles de Warrenne (K.C.B., K.C.M.G., K.C.S.I., D.S.O., and, of course, V.C.), having confessed to an alias. It will be a long time before we should be in really congenial society, that way, darling, but I’m sure I should enjoy every hour of it with you, so long as I felt I was a comfort and happiness to you. And when you got your Commission I should not be a social drag upon you as sometimes happens. Nor before it should I be a nuisance and hindrance to you and make you wish you were ‘shut of the curse of a soldier’. I could ‘rough it’ as well as you and, besides, there would be no ‘roughing it’ where you were, for me. It is here that I am ‘roughing it,’ sitting impotent and wondering what is happening to you, and whether that terrible illness ever seizes you, and whether you are properly looked after when it does.
“Now, just realize, dearest Dam—I said I would wait twenty years for you, if necessary. I would and I will, but don’t make me do it, darling. Realize how happy I should be if I could only come and sew and cook and scrub and work for you. Can you understand that life is only measurable in terms of happiness and that my happiness can only be where you, are? If you weren’t liable to these seizures I could bear to wait, but as it is, I can’t. I beg and beseech you not to make me wait till I am of age, Dam. There’s no telling what may happen to you and I just can’t bear it. I’m coming, if I don’t hear from you, and I can easily do something to compel you to marry me, if I come. You are not going to bear this alone, darling, so don’t imagine it. We’re not going to keep separate shops after all these years, just because you’re ill with a trouble of some kind that fools can’t understand.
“Now write to me at once and put me in a position to write to you in the ordinary way—or look out for me! I’m all ready to run away, all sorts of useful things packed—ready to come and be a soldier’s girl.
“You know that I do what I think I’ll do—you spoke of my ‘steel-straight directness and sweet brave will’ in the poem you were making about me, you poor funny old boy, when you vanished, and which I found in your room when I went there to cry, (Oh, how I cried when I found your odds and ends of verse about me there—I really did think my heart was ‘broken’ in actual fact.) Don’t make me suffer any more, darling. I’m sure your Colonel will be sweet about it and give us a nice little house all to ourselves, now he has seen what a splendid soldier you are. If you stick to your folly about ‘disgrace’ I need not tell him our names and Grumper couldn’t take me away from you, even if he ever found out where we were.
“I could go on writing all night, darling, but I’ll only just say again I am going to marry you and take care of you, Dam, in the army or out of it.
“Your fiancee and friend,
“LUCILLE GAVESTONE.”
Dam groaned aloud.
“Four o’ rum ’ot, is wot you want, mate, for that,” said the industrious self-improver at the shelf-table. “Got a chill on yer stummick on sentry-go in the fog an’ rine las’ night…. I’d give a ’ogs’ead to see the bloke who wrote in the bloomin’ Reggilashuns ‘nor must bloomin’ sentries stand in their blasted sentry-boxes in good or even in moderate-weather’ a doin’ of it ’isself in ’is bloomin’ ‘moderate weather’ with water a runnin’ down ’is back, an’ ’is feet froze into a puddle, an’ the fog a chokin’ of ’im, an’ ’is blighted carbine feelin’ like a yard o’ bad ice—an’ then find the bloomin’ winder above ’is bed been opened by some kind bloke an’ ’is bed a blasted swamp… Yus—you ’ave four o’ rum ’ot and you’ll feel like the bloomin’ ’Ouse o’ Lords. Then ’ave a Livin’stone Rouser.” “Oh, shut up,” said Dam, cursing the Bathos of Things and returning to the beginning of Lucille’s letter.
In his somewhat incoherent reply, Dam assured Lucille that he was in the rudest health and spirits, and the particular pet of his Colonel who inquired after his health almost daily with tender solicitude; that he had exaggerated his feeling on That Evening when he had kissed Lucille as a lover, and begged forgiveness; that marriage would seriously hamper a most promising military career; that he had had no recurrence of the “fit” (a mere touch of sun); that it would be unkind and unfair of Lucille to bring scandal and disgrace upon a rising young soldier by hanging about the Lines and making inquiries about him with a view to forcing him into marriage, making him keep to a bargain made in a rash, unguarded moment of sentimentality; that, in any case, soldiers could not marry until they had a certain income and status, and, if they did so, it was no marriage and they were sent to jail; that his worst enemy would not do anything to drag him out once again into the light of publicity, and disgrace his family further, now that he had effectually disappeared and was being forgotten; and that he announced that he was known as Trooper Matthewson (E Troop, The Queen’s Greys, Cavalry Lines, Shorncliffe) to prevent Lucille from keeping her most unladylike promise of persecuting him.
Lucille’s next letter was shorter than the first.
“MY DARLING DAM,
“Don’t be such a priceless Ass. Come off it.
“Your own
“LUCILLE.
“P.S.—Write to me properly at once—or expect me on Monday.”
He obeyed, poured out his whole heart in love and thanks and blessings, and persuaded her that the one thing that could increase his misery would be her presence, and swore that he would strain every nerve to appear before her at the earliest possible moment a free man with redeemed name—provided he could persuade himself he was not a congenital lunatic, an epileptic, a decadent—could cure himself of his mental disease….