“SIR MUNT,” for the nth time Mayor of Blackhampton,[A] was in his parlor at the City Hall, gazing into the heavens. A contraption rather like a monstrous aluminum fish shining in the October air hung above Market Square. At regular intervals of a minute or so there came fluttering down from the huge object in the sky a rain of leaflets. These varied in color and they fell upon the heads of the citizens.
At last, yet not without effort of will, Sir Munt set a term to his entrancement. He went across to his writing table and pressed the bell once. A small imp in a very tight suit of buttons promptly answered the summons.
“Niblo,” said the Chief Magistrate, “step into the square and collect some of that dé-bris. Bring one of each color, my boy.”
Preternaturally sharp in all circumstances, Niblo fully understood what was required. He made his exit with a duck.
Sir Munt turned thoughtfully to the room’s second occupant. Its second occupant was no less a personage than his stenographer, Miss Evans. An intelligent, demure, stylishly attractive young lady, she was seated before a typewriter carefully transcribing from her private notes a sheaf of letters recently dictated to her by the Mayor.
“Miss Evans,” said his worship, “if you’ve written that letter to Sir Stuyvescent Milgrim let me see it.”
The letter duly detached from the growing pile was handed to the Mayor, who looked every inch of him—and they were many—the City’s Chief Magistrate, as he put on a pair of eyeglasses to peruse it. For several minutes he studied the letter in silence with the frown of a man who did not quite know his own mind. At last, the study was terminated and the frown increased by the return of Niblo, who with a fine air of importance bore a number of pamphlets, some of which were white, some of which were red, some of which were blue.
Sir Munt read the white one first:
LOVELY MATLOCK,
THE INCOMPARABLE METROPOLIS OF THE
PEAK DISTRICT OF DERBYSHIRE
A select number of subscribers to the UNIVERSAL PRESS will be transmitted daily to this enchanted spot, free of all charge, by AUNT MITTIE NUMBER THREE (Chicago World’s Fair Model).
For full particulars apply to
GEORGE BUTTERS, ESQ.,
CHIEF U. P. AGENT,
KING’S PARADE.
ENDOR MUST GO
So much for the first announcement. The second, on blue paper, was as follows:
BLACKHAMPTON EMPIRE
(Twice Nightly)
On Monday next, and throughout the week, the world-famous COLORADO QUARTET will present a new song and glee entitled “ENDOR MUST GO.” Words by the Poet Laureate. Music by Sir Topman Murtle, O.M., Mus. Doc. (Copies of this beautiful work half price to all subscribers to the U. P.) Logan’s Elephants. Parajinksy Troupe of Priceless Bounders. Kuhlmann’s Performing Seals, and a host of other attractions, including The World in Pictures on the U. P. Bioscope showing the recent riot at Hellington when the Member for East Blackhampton (Mr. John Endor, M.P.) was severely handled. Prices as usual. Special terms for subscribers to the U. P.
The third announcement, on red paper, ran thus:
KINEMA HALL
The most exquisitely appointed Picture Palace in the Midland Counties is now showing LOVELY LILY LANGRISH (England’s Own) in her great three-reel exclusive “THE BRIDE OF PRINCE CHARMING.” Also East Blackhampton Election Scenes. Arrival of Sir Stuyvescent Milgrim at Central Station. Enthusiastic Reception. Floral tribute from Members of the U. P., etc., etc. Also vivid two-reeler of the Recent Riot at Hellington. John Endor, M.P., nearly loses his life. Thrilling escape by back door from a mob of Infuriated Workers, etc., etc. Also a first release of the latest triumph of U. P. kinematography. Saul Hartz, Esq., O.M., the great philanthropist, in the robes of an Honorary Curator of Blackpool Observatory, praying with the Chief Druid at the Welsh Eisteddfod. A print in five colors, suitable for the home, based on this subject, after the famous work by Albert Blantyre, A.R.A. (awarded Gold Medallion at Chicago World’s Fair) may be had on application free of charge by all bona fide subscribers to the U. P.
Sir Munt’s only comment on these exhibits was a slight pursing of the lips. But his countenance, at all times a little heavy, grew decidedly dour. Moreover, he ruminated exceedingly.
He was still deeply involved in the process of thought, when he was interrupted by a fierce and sudden ring of the telephone bell.
“Yes! Yes!” said Miss Evans, receiver in hand. A moment later the Mayor was informed that Mr. Endor, M. P., sent his compliments, and could Sir Josiah make it convenient to see him at once if he came over from his committee rooms at the other side of the Square.
Sir Josiah pondered the matter for a long and serious moment. And then he said weightily: “Tell Mr. Endor I’ll see him now if he cares to nip across.”