She pulled on her oldest pair of Justin Ropers, glossed her lips, and headed down the stairs, her hair loose and flying behind her. The smell of her peach shampoo made her feel fresh. She ran her fingers through her curls. Her dad used to say how he loved her hair and that it was the perfect combination of Therese’s mother’s red hair and his own mother’s curly hair.
“Sorry, Clifford,” she said to him at the front door. “You have to stay this time. You’re not allowed on the pasture.”
Carol was typing furiously on her laptop while she sat on the living room sofa. “I’ll drive you,” Carol said, jumping up. “I’m not ready for you to walk alone yet, especially if Clifford’s not going.”
Than appeared at the door to the screened porch. “Hi there. I was wondering if you want to walk up to the Holts’ together.”
Therese turned back to her aunt. “That okay?”
Carol hesitated, then smiled. “I guess so. Just call me when you get there.”
The sun had fallen behind a thin layer of clouds. It usually rained for a few minutes every afternoon, often with thunder and lightning, and Therese wondered now as she and Than turned onto the dirt road from her gravel driveway if it would today. She hoped not. She was nervous enough about riding without adding rain into the mix.
Than hadn’t changed from his tight white t-shirt and jeans, but he looked refreshed and clean and, even under the cloud cover, brilliant.
“Thanks again for the salad and the recipe,” he said. “I told my sister Tizzie about it. She might go into Durango tomorrow for the ingredients and try to make it herself.”
“Be sure to tell her to buy you some tea bags and sugar,” Therese said. “You seemed to like that a lot, too.”
“Yes. Especially the sugar.”
He asked why Clifford wasn’t with her, and she explained that he’d want to follow them into the pasture and how that was dangerous for the horses. “Small dogs tend to spook horses. They can handle the big dogs, but because horses have a lot of blind spots, the littler animals tend to freak them out.”
“I see,” he said, apparently attempting a pun.
Therese shook her head and chuckled. “That was really bad.”
“You’re right. It was.” He chuckled too.
Although she had initially thought him to be arrogant and selfish, she found him easy to talk to as they made their way down the road. He asked her about her hobbies and she talked a bit about swim team and band and the times she liked to spend in the forest with the animals. When she asked about him, he shrugged.
“I’ve realized these past few days how little I know myself,” he said cryptically.
When they reached the ranch, Mrs. Holt, Bobby, and Jen were already in the pen saddling up five of the horses.
“Hey, guys,” Bobby greeted them. “Think it’s gonna pour?”
“I hope not.” Therese put on her long-sleeved shirt.
“Don’t worry,” Jen said. “The horses love the rain. It won’t bother them or anything.”
“It’ll just make them stinky,” Mrs. Holt said. “Somethin’ we have to look forward to come mornin’.”
“Oh, I’m supposed to call my aunt.” Therese turned toward the house.
“Use the phone in the barn,” Mrs. Holt said.
Therese found the dusty, old-fashioned dial phone mounted to the wall and called her aunt to let her know she had made it safely. Then she returned to the pen with the others.
They led their horses from the gate on the pasture side of the pen, on the opposite side from the barn and the house, and Bobby closed and secured the gate. Hershey and Ace put their heads over the fence and brayed their objections. They wanted to come, too.
Than turned and said something to the two horses that Therese could not hear. She inwardly laughed. He liked talking to them as much as she did. Despite his inability to describe himself, she was learning a lot about him. He loved the outdoors, especially the water, and he loved animals. She looked forward to learning a few more things.
Therese approached Dumbo, and he nuzzled against her. She put her hand out for him to sniff. He caressed her hand with his mouth and then nuzzled her palm. She stroked his face, whispering, “Thanks. I needed that.”
As soon as Therese mounted Dumbo, the nervous anxiety made her chest feel tight. Jen must have noticed, because she came up beside her and said, “Just follow me. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”
Jen started at a walk, and without Therese having to say “Go,” or squeeze Dumbo’s sides, the horse followed. Therese relaxed. Maybe this would be easier than she had thought.
“You’re doing good, boy,” Therese said as she stroked Dumbo’s neck. She watched Jen moving gracefully ahead of her on Sassy, as though she and her horse were one fluid organism. Jen made it look so easy.
Than came up beside her on Midnight. “You okay?”
“So far so good.” She gave him a brave smile. She could do this.
Bobby and Mrs. Holt had already gone on ahead across the stream where it narrowed and up where the pasture began on an incline up the mountain. Jen now took Sassy up to a trot, and, without warning, Dumbo followed suit. Therese held on to the saddle horn and hugged Dumbo with her thighs. She managed not to shriek, but her heart was beating a million miles an hour as the adrenaline pumped through her. Than and Midnight were soon beside her again.
“This is fun, don’t you think?” he asked.
Therese was bouncing hard on Dumbo, so she stiffened her legs against the stirrups and pulled her bottom up, practically in a standing position. “As long as Dumbo follows Sassy, I’m alright.” She didn’t admit it was like riding a scary rollercoaster.
Drops of rain began to fall and a sudden streak of light illuminated the clouds above them.
Great, Therese thought. Just what I need.
A moment later, the roar of thunder followed.
Jen and Sassy approached the stream, so Jen slowed down to a walk. Dumbo slowed, and Midnight beside him. They took turns jumping across the narrowest part and then joined Bobby and Mrs. Holt in the trees on the other side. They kept the horses at a walk as they followed the trail through the trees near the fence line. The trees offered some protection from the rain, but not much. Another streak of light shot across the sky, and the thunder followed. Therese wondered how the horses would react if the thunder got loud and if they were safer in the trees or if they should head back across the stream to the open part of the pasture, but she didn’t say anything, sure Mrs. Holt would know best. She couldn’t help but feel even more nervous, though.
They walked the horses through the trees, weaving up and down, occasionally having to jump across a low dip or fallen log. Therese focused on talking with Dumbo, to ease her nerves and to let Dumbo get to know her.
“You’re doing great, Dumbo. You’re such a good boy.” Therese stroked his mane, which was now clean of all sticker burs and weeds thanks to her hard work this morning. “Wait.” She said to him when Jen paused up ahead. “Wait.” She gently pulled the reins and released, and Dumbo obeyed.
They jumped over a steep incline, one at a time, and then weaved back down through the trees back in the direction of the stream. Here again Therese asked Dumbo to wait his turn to cross the stream, and he did. Then Mrs. Holt took Rambo back up to a trot. Bobby and the General were fast behind. Jen followed with Sassy, then Therese on Dumbo, and Than and Midnight brought up the rear. From the trot, the horses in front moved to a canter. When Dumbo took off to catch up with the others, Therese felt the adrenaline surge through her. This was the scariest part. They galloped at high speed across the open pasture with the rain hitting her in the face. Lightening continued to streak the sky and the thunder to crash. Therese wanted to squeeze her eyes shut, but she was too afraid that Dumbo would scrape her leg along the fence or take her beneath tree branches that would whack her in the face. She heard Than say something to her, but she couldn’t speak; she had to concentrate on holding onto the saddle horn, her legs rigid against the stirrups.
Mrs. Holt reached the fence line and turned Rambo south and followed the fence toward the dirt road in front of the house. They all followed Rambo and turned with the fence line, now parallel to the dirt road, still at a full canter. As they reached the pen where they had started, Mrs. Holt took Rambo down to a trot, but kept going, back up toward the stream. The rest of them followed. When she reached the stream, Mrs. Holt slowed Rambo down to a walk and led him along the stream to where it grew about six feet wide. She stopped him and told him to drink. Bobby brought the General beside her and did the same. Dumbo followed Sassy to the other side of Rambo from the General. Midnight came up beside Therese, and all the horses had their fill of water.
The stream in front of them danced with each raindrop. Therese saw several trout diving under rocks in the shallow water away from the muzzles of the horses. Clifford would have a field day here. She was glad for this chance to catch her breath. She looked up at Than and was surprised to see his face turned up to the rain, his eyes closed, and a smile lingering on his lips. His dark, wavy hair blew in the wind and caressed his strong jaw line. She longed to reach out and touch him.
Mrs. Holt led Rambo away from the stream back toward the open pasture. Jen and Bobby followed. Dumbo and Midnight continued to drink, and Than seemed oblivious to the departure of the others, his face still turned up to meet the rain. Therese just sat and watched him.
Than opened his eyes when thunder crashed again. He looked over at Therese, and they shared a smile of embarrassment. He noticed the others had gone several yards away to the open pasture, so he said, “Come on Midnight,” and he gently pulled her reins to one side to lead her away.
Therese mimicked Than. “Come on, Dumbo.” But Dumbo stubbornly refused to come. He pulled up a tuft of grass that had been growing near the stream to feed. “Come on, Boy!” Therese said a little more forcefully. Instead, Dumbo walked further up along the stream and fed on more stalks of grass. “Great.” Therese glanced back at the others. Than was waiting for her about twenty yards away, but the others were already cantering along the fence line again.
Meanwhile, Dumbo refused to listen. “Come on, Dumbo!” Therese gently touched the stirrups against his sides. He went further up the stream, pulling long tufts of yellow grass. Before Therese knew what was happening, Dumbo reared up and down, over and over, braying loudly. She screamed in horror, “Whoa, Dumbo! Whoa, boy!” His back right hoof slid on the bank and into the stream; she could hear the rocks slipping, the hoof sliding, and then the leg belted beneath him, and he fell sideways toward the stream. Therese screamed in terror and pushed both feet against the stirrups, and she managed to stay on top of Dumbo as he rolled into the water on his side. She pulled her right foot loose and pushed with her left to avoid falling under the horse. She fell on the opposite side of him, on the bank among rocks and grass, on her left side. She rolled when she fell and came to a stop at Than’s feet. Her elbow and hip hurt, not to mention her neck, and she was terrified for Dumbo.
“Are you okay?” Than knelt beside her with wide eyes.
She sat up, dazed. Then she looked into the stream. Dumbo hadn’t moved from his side in the water. His head was lifted toward the sky, and he was whining with pain. “Dumbo!” Therese jumped to her feet and went to the horse. “Oh, no! Oh my God! Than, I think he’s really hurt!”
Than held Therese back, and as she tried to pull away she saw a snake hissing in the grass at his feet. He grabbed the snake behind its head with one hand, and then he flung it nearly a hundred yards down the stream away from them.
Therese was in too much shock to wonder how he could throw it so far. “That snake must have been what spooked him,” Therese said. “It’s okay boy!” She couldn’t take his loud cries. She felt so helpless.
Soon Mrs. Holt and the others returned.
“Oh no!” Jen cried from on top of Sassy.
“What happened?” Mrs. Holt dismounted Rambo. She quickly went into the stream and squatted in the water next to Dumbo to assess his injuries while Therese and Than told the story. Therese was in tears before they had finished. Than put his hand on her shoulder.
“Are you hurt, Therese?” Mrs. Holt asked.
Therese shook her head. “I’m fine.” Then she said, “I’m so sorry, Mrs. Holt. I’m so, sorry! Do you think he’s going to be okay?”
“Bobby, go to the barn and call Dr. Gilbert. Ask him if he can come right away. Tell him it’s an emergency. The rest of you take the other horses back to the pen and remove their tack. Then turn all the horses out to the second pasture. Jen, lead Therese on Rambo. I’ll stay here with Dumbo.”
Bobby took off on the General across the field.
“Is it bad?” Therese asked.
“We’ll know more once the vet takes a look at him,” Mrs. Holt replied.
Another crash of thunder cracked overhead as the sad party obeyed Mrs. Holt’s orders. Therese couldn’t stop crying. On top of her worry over Dumbo, she was scared to death to ride Rambo, even though Jen held a lead and would be in complete control.
“Try not to worry,” Than said as he helped her mount the huge horse.
After they had returned to the pen and removed the tack from the horses, Jen went to turn them all out to the second pasture while Than led Therese, still in tears and beside herself, toward the house. Bobby got them clean towels. The thunder shower had passed, but they were soaked. They went inside to wait for the vet. Therese called Carol to tell her what happened and why she’d be late, and Carol made her promise over and over that she was telling the truth about not being hurt.
“I really am okay,” she said into the phone. “At least, physically.” Then the sobs came over her again in another wave. Than put his arm around her where they sat on a wooden bench in the entryway with towels draped over their shoulders. “I’ll call you when I’m ready to come home.”
After a while, Jen ran inside to say the vet was here, and so Bobby, Therese, and Than jogged behind her out across the first pasture where Dumbo lay in the water, no longer whining, totally exhausted, but still on his side. Mrs. Holt was soaked with her hand on Dumbo’s cheek as the vet, shin-deep in water and using a flashlight, did his best to examine his patient.
As the group of teens got closer, Dr. Gilbert was telling Mrs. Holt that he was giving Dumbo a sedative and pain killer solution so that he could more safely maneuver around the animal. The water was shallow enough so he wouldn’t drown. Therese watched in horror as the vet stuck the giant needle into Dumbo’s neck. Dumbo flinched, but within seconds closed his eyes and lay still. The vet propped Dumbo’s head up on a rock to keep it out of the water.
Bobby wrapped a dry towel around his mother’s shoulders and convinced her to come out of the stream. Therese looked into Mrs. Holt’s anguished face and said again how sorry she was.
Mrs. Holt gave Therese a big hug and said, “Please don’t feel for a minute that this is any fault of yours. This could have happened to any rider.”
But it happened to me, Therese thought.
The group stood on the banks of the stream watching as the vet conducted his exam. Therese became aware—vaguely at first and then more acutely—that Than had his arm protectively around her shoulders again. Jen came up and put her arm around Therese’s waist from the other side. Bobby stood close to his mother with a hand on her back.
Eventually, the vet stood up and walked over to them. “It’s not good,” he said. “Maybe the kids should go inside.”
Mrs. Holt looked at Therese. “Than, would you please take Therese back to the house? The others can stay.”
“Please, Mrs. Holt. I want to stay, too.”
Mrs. Holt hesitated. Then she looked at the vet and nodded. “It’s okay, Dr. Gilbert. Go ahead.”
“Well, Dumbo has two broken legs, his right front and his left hind. His left hind leg is broken in two places, and I think a couple of ribs may be cracked as well.”
“Oh no,” Bobby groaned.
“What do you recommend we do about it?” Mrs. Holt asked.
“I hate to say it, Steph, but I think we’re gonna have to put him down.”
“No!” Therese yelled.
Everyone looked at her, Than tightening his hold around her shoulders.
“Stay calm for the others,” he said softly in her ear.
“What’s the alternative?” Mrs. Holt asked.
“A slow and painful death,” the vet replied. “He’ll never recover.”
A blanket of dread and grief wrapped itself around Therese. This couldn’t be happening, she thought. She covered her mouth with her hand.
Mrs. Holt walked back out into the stream beside Dumbo. She kissed his still and quiet cheek. “Alright, kids. Time to go back to the house. I’ll stay here with Dr. Gilbert. Than and Therese, it’s business as usual in the mornin’, okay?”
Therese slowly nodded. That would be hard to do.
When the four teenagers got back to the house, Than asked Therese if he could walk her home, and she said yes, glad for the company. She could have called her aunt, which would have been a good choice since she was wet and cold and really upset, but she wanted to be with Than. He had become quite good at comforting her.
She hugged Jen and Bobby before she and Than headed home, apologizing over and over for something she knew wasn’t her fault but had nevertheless left her with a horrible feeling of dread. She and Than were quiet most of the way. Dusk was falling, and the deer had come out in the tall grass across the road. Therese watched them with blank eyes.
Than broke their silence. “That’s the first time I’ve seen firsthand what happens when a person or animal dies. I’ve never seen how hard it is for those they leave behind.”
Therese’s thoughts went from Dumbo to her parents. She clenched her jaw to stay back the tears. “Very hard,” she muttered.
“I really am sorry, Therese,” his voice was low and husky. He stopped and took her hand. “I’m so sorry people and animals have to die. I wish there were another way.”
He seemed more upset than she had realized, as on the verge of punching something, and she wanted badly to fling herself into his arms and let them each wash away the other’s pain, but she checked herself. “Thanks.”
He released her hand and walked her up to her front screened porch. “Will you come early tomorrow for a swim?” he asked.
“I don’t think so.”
“You need to do something to heal the pain,” he said.
“You see your first death, and now you’re an expert,” she snapped, and then immediately regretted it. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. See you in the morning.”
Therese went inside to find Carol wrapped in a blanket on the living room couch watching a movie. “You alright?” Carol asked.
“I’m tired. I’m going to bed.”
“Are you sure? You don’t want to talk about it?”
“I’m sure.”
Clifford jumped from the couch beside Carol and followed Therese up the stairs. She turned off Jewel’s lamp and told her good night. Puffy was in his wheel already at work. Therese climbed out of her soggy clothes and went to her bathroom to take a long hot shower. Clifford stood outside the shower curtain waiting, as though he sensed she was upset and needed a friend.
Once she was dry and in her nightshirt, Therese cuddled with Clifford on her bed. She felt bad for snapping at Than when he was only trying to help. She was also worried he might not like her anymore. Why did she have to be so rude? She took the stringy stuffed animal toy lemur from where it hung on the headboard post and wrapped it around her neck. She couldn’t stop her mind from replaying the tragedy with Dumbo over and over. Her mind went from the tragic events on the pasture to those at Huck Finn Pond. Therese closed her eyes, wishing she could die, too.
Before she had fallen completely asleep, she felt a presence other than her pets in her room, and her eyes snapped open. The moonlight washing into her room wasn’t bright, and she could see no one. She could have sworn she felt someone standing over her bed looking down at her, about to touch her face. She stopped breathing to listen, but after seeing and hearing nothing more but Puffy running in his wheel, she closed her eyes and told herself it must have been a dream.