Chapter 11: FOREST FUN & GAMES
I first met Geoffrey propping up the bar at a popular local watering hole called Harry B’s, his entire body loudly proclaiming his utter dejection for all to behold. He was hunched over, staring into his drink with dark-ringed eyes, a greenish, waxy pallor adorning his youngish, once handsome, but now, sadly, rather jowly face. Normally I avoid drunks like the plague and miserable drunks even more so, but something in the way that Geoffrey systematically shredded his beer mat and lobbed the pieces one-by-one into an empty beer glass on the counter in front of him suggested to my journalistic instincts the whiff of a story just desperate to be told. Seeing as I myself was feeling a little lonely and at a bit of a loss on that particular evening, I sat down on the bar stool next to Geoffrey, plonked my beer down on the counter in front of me and introduced myself.
An hour would pass before I would awaken to the fact that my beer was warm and flat, my nether regions were numb and I had pins-and-needles in my left leg. Somehow I had serendipitously stumbled upon the mother lode - an absolute doozy of a story that revealed another, totally unexpected, side to the Green Lady! Well, judge for yourself…
***
Geoffrey and Maggie had been dating for five years when they decided to visit Knysna for a well-deserved holiday. They had heard that there were several excellent cycling routes in the area and so, being enthusiastic weekend cyclists, they brought their mountain bikes with them. Unbeknownst to each other, both Maggie and Geoffrey viewed this holiday as the means of resolving certain differing concerns they each individually had about their relationship.
Geoffrey had enjoyed a brief moment of glory in his late teens as the star of a provincial soccer team on a winning streak, but an unfortunate misstep on the pitch had led to a knee injury, which had put paid to his dreams of fame and fortune. At the time of the Knysna holiday, Geoffrey was stuck in a dead-end job teaching physical education at the local high school and coaching the local under-fifteen soccer team. Geoffrey had of late been concerned that Maggie’s interest in him appeared to be waning and so he had the goal of re-awakening some of their initial ardour on their holiday. A friend had assured him that the forests in the area were extremely beautiful, secluded and romantic places, absolutely guaranteed to get any lady in the mood, and so Geoffrey hatched a plan to make full use of these purported benefits of the forest whilst on a cycling trail.
Maggie, on the other hand, was on an upward trajectory in her career, working long and hard hours as a corporate lawyer. At thirty-seven, the ticking of Maggie’s biological clock was becoming deafening and she was seriously considering whether to end her relationship with Geoffrey, who showed no signs of popping the question and was possibly not the best genetic choice as father of her potential children. Maggie decided to use the opportunity of the unaccustomed leisure time on their holiday to clarify in her mind whether to stay with Geoffrey or not. Of course, she didn’t share this goal with Geoffrey, and he, similarly, did not share his amorous ambitions with her.
On the morning in question, Geoffrey and an unsuspecting Maggie made an early start on the forest trail, which commenced on an open dirt road, but very rapidly led them deep into the ancient, unspoilt forest on their mountain bikes. And, certainly, Geoffrey’s friend had not misled him - the route was breathtakingly beautiful. They cycled through densely forested valleys and gorges, the trail looping over several crystal-clear sepia-brown streams, stained that colour by tannins released into the water by massive tree ferns and thick undergrowth fringing the river. The crowns of gigantic trees met overhead and they cycled through leafy tunnels, redolent with the vital, rich aromas of rotting leaves and fertile soil, serenaded by birdsong and the chatter of monkeys, high up in the forest canopy.
After an hour or two of cycling ever deeper and deeper into the forest, during which time Geoffrey and Maggie had not encountered a single other person, Geoffrey began to mentally prepare himself for what lay ahead. Maggie appeared to be in an excellent, really relaxed and receptive mood, and so he decided that the timing was perfect to put his plan into action. As they cycled into a beautiful, shady clearing in the forest, presided over by a massive, ancient Yellowwood tree, Geoffrey called to Maggie to stop for a break. Dismounting, they propped their bikes up against the Yellowwood tree and threw themselves down onto the forest floor, resting their aching muscles and slaking their thirst with the cold, clear, delicious stream water with which they had earlier filled their water bottles.
After a brief snack of dried fruit and nuts, Maggie lay back against a tree, closed her eyes and sighed deeply with satisfaction. Geoffrey realized that the perfect moment had arrived and he cleared his throat, “Mags, I’ve got an idea,” he said.
“Mmmnn?” Maggie mumbled, not opening her eyes.
Undaunted, Geoffrey tried again, “Mags, listen, I’ve brought my camera. This place is just so beautiful and secluded and you’re so gorgeous and… well, I kinda thought that perhaps you’d allow me to take some photos of you?”
“What sort of photos?” asked Maggie, opening her eyes to squint suspiciously at Geoffrey. This wasn’t the first time in the five years they had been together that Geoffrey had made this sort of suggestion to her and she had a fairly good idea of where this was going.
“Well… I thought I could take some very tasteful nude pics of you, Mags. You know… the contrast of your skin against the deep green of the forest would be simply gorgeous and we could enjoy looking at the pictures together. It could be quite exciting, actually, don’t you think?” Maggie pursed her lips as Geoffrey’s voice became a little squeaky in his race to finish what he wanted to say before she could jump in and turn him down.
“Geoff, really, I don’t think...” she began, but Geoffrey had thoroughly rehearsed his arguments and he interrupted with,
“Mags, there’s nobody around for miles – it’s just you and me and this beautiful place and it would be so much fun. And besides, we’re not going to be young forever and we should capture our youth and beauty on film whilst we still have it and you went to so much effort to lose all that weight and you’re looking so lovely and let’s celebrate that and also, you can take pics of me too!”
Geoffrey had chosen his arguments well, as Maggie was extremely proud of her recent, hard-won weight loss and enjoyed showing off her body for the first time in years. In addition, she had lately been feeling that her youth was passing her by and had expressed her determination to seize the day and enjoy every moment of their youth whilst they still could. Maggie’s extremely expressive face informed Geoffrey that his arguments were taking effect and so, in order to press his advantage home, he added, “Come on, Mags, it will be something to tell our grandchildren about!” This was a very sneaky strategy as he knew that Maggie was desperate to have children and that, by mentioning grandchildren, he was significantly raising his stakes with Maggie.
“Oh, what the hell! Why not? Let’s do it – let’s have some fun!” exclaimed Maggie and, in typical Maggie fashion, she immediately jumped up and began throwing off all her clothing, whilst Geoffrey, who couldn’t quite believe how successful his strategies had proven to be, scrabbled in his daypack for his camera.
Modesty requires that we draw the curtain on the activities of the next fun-filled hour, but, suffice it to say, an uninhibited, rollicking great time was had by both Maggie and Geoffrey! Lying together afterwards on a bed of dried leaves, gazing up into the leafy canopy above their heads, Maggie sighed again with contentment. “What a simply beautiful day!” Closing her eyes she remarked, “Isn’t it strange how much more of the forest one experiences when you close your eyes? Try it, Geoff. Somehow your other senses seem to work so much better when your eyes are closed.”
Geoffrey, ever the opportunist, and feeling extremely buoyed by the success of his previous ploys, said, “Well, how about we play a little game, then? We’ll blindfold you and then you can move around, simply experiencing the forest and see if you can sense your way towards me.” Maggie thought this sounded like fun and so, without further ado, Geoffrey tied his bandana around her eyes, turned her around a few times for good measure and let go of her. Then he crept away as silently as he could and hid behind a large bush a few metres from the clearing.
For the first ten minutes or so, Geoffrey crouched in his leafy bower, gleefully re-living the wonderful experiences of the past hour. He was sure that this would mark a turning point in his relationship with Maggie. He had never before experienced her in quite such a playful mood, and the memories, not to mention the photographs, would provide fuel for his imagination for some time to come. He decided that there were all kinds of new experiences that he would suggest to Maggie in future…
After a while Geoffrey began to wonder what had become of Maggie. He realized that he had been so caught up in his thoughts and memories that he had not paid attention to the fact that he hadn’t heard a single sound from Maggie for some time. Thinking that he would change the game somewhat and sneak up on her for another helping of fun, Geoffrey crept out from behind his bush and looked around for Maggie. What he saw next chilled the very marrow of his bones and made his blood run cold with horror.
When Geoffrey related his experiences of that day to me, his pallor became even more pronounced and his wide, staring eyes began darting wildly from side-to-side. His white-knuckled hand clenching his glass was shaking so much that he began spilling beer all over the counter and I feared that he was in the grip of some kind of a fit. His raised voice started to draw attention from the other patrons and I put a hand on his forearm in an attempt to calm him down. Gradually, in fits and starts, I was able to piece together the story of what Geoffrey had witnessed that day in the forest clearing.
Maggie was standing, naked and blindfolded, in the centre of the clearing, her arms wrapped around the trunk of a massive tree, in which she was completely enfolded; a tree which had definitely not been there at the beginning of the game! A tree that she appeared, against all logic and reason, to be kissing. As Geoffrey watched in horror, a branch of the tree “grew” down Maggie’s naked back and lovingly wrapped itself around her naked buttocks. A leafy green tendril twined through her hair to caress her cheek and a lustful moan escaped Maggie’s lips.
Geoffrey screamed, “Maggie! What the…” and the apparition immediately disappeared, leaving Maggie sprawled on all fours in front of Geoffrey. “Maggie, what on Earth… what was that thing?” he screamed. Maggie very slowly lifted her head to look up at Geoffrey through her long lashes and the most evil, knowing smile curled her lips, as an emerald green glint briefly sparked in her normally deep-brown eyes.
The rest of the story Geoffrey delivered in a flat monotone. Maggie was changed forever by her experience in the forest. She stopped speaking to Geoffrey altogether and appeared to be entranced and inhabiting a magical world of her own. She left her job, sold all her possessions and moved to a small, hippy commune on the edge of the Knysna forest, where she remains to this day, living in a teepee. Geoffrey told me that he visited Maggie every year in an attempt to persuade her to return to him and to her former life. The horror of what he had witnessed that day in the forest remained as vivid to him as ever and he was of the opinion that he would never, ever get over it. But he hoped that by getting Maggie back he would find some healing. The day I met him marked the fifth anniversary of those horrific events, but Geoffrey was no closer to getting Maggie to change her mind about him, or even to acknowledge his existence.
I mused to myself that Geoffrey and Maggie had certainly both had a transformative experience in the forest, but I wasn’t convinced that it had been a positive one for either of them.
***
This story, though strange enough, has a final twist to the tale. A few weeks after my encounter with Geoffrey in the pub, I happened to mention the story at a barbeque, hosted by newly-acquired friends. A forestry official at the barbeque indicated that he had heard about Maggie and Geoffrey’s story and that he had additional information to add.
It seems that the clearing that Geoffrey had chosen for his photo shoot was, unbeknownst to him, equipped with several motion-activated cameras, which had been installed by the Department of Forestry in order to capture pictures of the local wild life. The following is a re-creation of the events in the office shared by Sarel Basson and Giel Coetzee, local foresters, when they browsed through the developed photos.
“Hey Sarel. Look here man! Seems like some idiots decided to get down-and-dirty and take porn pics in the forest! Check it out!”
“Nee, sies man! Some people have no manners, hey? Also, a bit disrespectful of the forest, don’t you think? And the leopard could have got them while they were messing around in the nude! Check, the woman’s got a nice body though. Hey, what’s that there in the last photo, Gielie?”
“Let me see… no man, must be dirt on the camera lens or something. That chick must be playing some game, hey? She’s just standing there with her arms in the air and her lips pursed like she’s kissing someone. But the photo’s all blurry, man. There’s a green and brown blur all around her body. Damn shame that, would have been a really nice pic, otherwise. Fine looking woman, though what she’s doing with that poor loser is anyone’s guess…”
FOOTNOTES:
An expression of disgust in Afrikaans. (click here to return to text)