Julia and Kenny were waiting for us. "We consulted with each other about which type of job would suit you both. Do you mind trying what we decided on?" Kenny asked.
"Whatever you say, Kenny. I trust your judgment completely." Arnie replied.
"I agree," I added, ‘but I want to ask Julia a few of the questions Arnie couldn't answer with out getting upset before we went off on a job together.’
Julia knew somehow that I needed to talk to her alone, so she asked me to follow her into the keyboard room. "What do you want to know, Mr. Burns?" she asked.
"Is there any way to interact with people besides making them feel cold?" I knew I wouldn't be able to handle a failure to communicate.
"Yes, but it will test your ability to be calm in a crisis." She paused, and sighed. "They can sense short thoughts if you are using your unmyelinates. But it takes an abundant amount of self-control, so please don't be upset if you can't succeed the first try. We tried to pick a job where very little needs to be relayed to the victims."
Gee, how nice. "So, if I fail, what happens to 'the victims'?" ‘I don't want to even try if anyone will die if I fail.’
"It won't be any worse than if you weren't there." She was being evasive.
"Which means...." I pressed for an answer.
"I can't tell you. I don't know myself. Only the much younger souls know all those details. I would tell you if I knew, I promise you." She did look a bit distressed, so I didn't persist.
"Okay, lets go then," I said, and we headed back to Kenny and Arnie.
We took cots on the floor level across the aisle from each other. We faced each other, and closed our eyes on the count of three.
We both appeared at the same time outside a farmhouse that looked as though it had seen better days. The equipment looked ancient and in poor repair. The barn was a glorified shack. It was night, but the moon was bright and shed enough light to see what was happening.
But we heard it first. A loud blast from a gun came from the house. We saw shingles fly as the shot ripped through the roof. The door of the house burst open and a woman with three children ran towards the barn. She had an infant in her arms, and a toddler by the hand. The oldest child ran slightly ahead. When she tripped on her long skirt and fell, the oldest child, though not more than 3 or 4 years old, ran back to help her up. He took the infant, and the four again raced for the barn.
They made it to the barn door just as a man with a rifle appeared at the door of the house, bellowing, "I'll get ya! I'll get ever’ las’one a’ ya’ll!!!" He saw the door of the barn close, and tried to run towards it, but he was obviously drunk. He was so off balance, he could barely walk.
Arnie said, "You go to the woman and kids, I'll take care of the b------," and he flew to the man. I thought I saw a mist buzzing around the man's head as I hurried to the rest of the family in the barn.
They were huddled behind a mound of hay, trying to be very quiet, but the toddler was whimpering and the baby was crying. The mother held her hand over the infant's mouth to muffle the sound. She did not seem to know they had been seen going into the barn. I quickly surveyed the inside of the barn for options.
If they could go through the horse's stall and out the stall door to the barnyard, they could at least get out of the trap they were currently in. I rushed to her and thought as hard as I could, ‘Over here. This way.’ I flew a circle around her hoping to stir up a cold breeze, and headed to the stall.
They followed! I continued to think ‘ Over here. This way.’ as I flew to the outside stall door. I was impressed that she had the presence of mind to close the stall doors as they went through them.
Once outside, they ran for cover in the woods on the other side of the barnyard fence. I then went to check if the man saw where they went; if he had made it to the barn before they were safely out of sight.
What I saw was Arnie and a whiff of a lizardly creature wrestling around the man's head as the drunkard slurred, "Yawl ruint my life. I'm gonna blow yawl to schmithereens!" He pushed the barn door open and took a few steps. He lost his balance and fell over the tongues of the old rickety wagon. The gun went off when he hit the ground, and blew a hole in the side of the barn, but not in the direction of the woman and kids. Luckily, he missed the cow and the goat, too.
It seemed the fall either knocked him out, or he passed out, as the lizard seemed to give up and left the man's head willingly. I watched a bit longer to be sure Arnie won the fight before I went to tell the woman she was safe for now. .
I went to the hiding spot. They were clinging to each other and crying. I went to them and joined the hug, and thought ‘ Out cold. Safe now.’ They seemed to relax a bit. Or so I wanted to believe. I wondered what they could do next.
I went back to Arnie, who was looking around the barn, apparently thinking the same thing I was thinking. "They've got to get away from this madman. Tonight. I don't know what you did to get them out of the barn, but boy am I glad you did! Now, you've got to work some more magic and convince her it's safe to come in here and harness up the horse to this poor excuse of a wagon, and get the h--- out of here! I'll stand guard to keep that slimy lizard from trying to get in his head again."
‘Great. How am I going to get her to go into a barn where a gun blast just took out part of a wall.’ I thought as I floated out to them.
They weren't clinging to each other as tightly as before. I gave them another hug, and thought ‘horse wagon run.’ I waited a bit for any signs of a reaction. I repeated the hug and the thought.
The woman sighed, and whispered to the oldest child, "Seth, stay here with the others. I'm going to hitch up Stardust. We've got to make it in to town, tonight."
Seth looked panicked. "No Mama! NO!" he was smart enough to whisper, too. He clung to her skirt as she rose to go back to the barn. I wrapped my arms around him as tightly as I could. He kept sliding out of them, though, as he clung to his mother as she began to walk. I did my best to stay with him, hoping I was giving him some sense of warmth and comfort.
Eventually, he let go of her. It was more likely because he couldn't get through the rails of the barnyard fence as fast as she and was mature enough to worry about his little siblings, than because I was trying to hold him. He turned and went back to the babies. I stayed with the children a little bit, hoping to give them some warmth. Then I went back in the barn to check on Arnie and the woman.
I got back to the barn in time to see an amazing sight: Stardust gave the hateful fiend a hefty shove with her large nose to get him off the tongues of the wagon so the woman could hook her to it. I could hardly believe my eyes!
It didn't seem to be too unusual to the woman, though. She just smiled, patted the horse's neck and whispered, "You hate him when he’s like this, too, don't you?" She had obviously harnessed Stardust to the wagon many times before, and the horse was most cooperative. The woman opened the door and led the horse and wagon out of the barn.
I zoomed back out to the kids, and thought, ‘Mama's ready.’ Seth began edging his way around the fence towards the front of the barn, carrying the infant in one small arm while pulling the toddler with his other small hand. He met his mother at the edge of the barnyard. They piled into the wagon, and set off at a fast trot.
"Wow," was all I could say. I had seen similar stuff on television, but....
"Yeah, I know," Arnie agreed with the unfinished thought. "It breaks my heart."
"At least they'll be safe now," I said.
Arnie didn't answer right away.
‘I wonder if he’s been on many jobs like this one before.’ I thought.
"Yes, I have. This is actually the best ending for this type of job I've had yet. You really did work magic. No one else I've worked with was able to convince the victim to run while they could. I'm just trying to not get my hopes up."
"What do you mean? She got away. She's going to town, right? She'll get help there, right?" ‘I don't understand why this shouldn't get his hopes up.’
"Let's wake up, now Ian. Ask Julia all these blasted questions!" and he faded from sight.
I hovered there a short while, trying to take it all in. The lizard was doing summer salts and flips in and out the windows of the barn, then down the chimney of the house and out the open door. Its laugh was pure evil.
Arnie was sitting on the edge of his cot when I returned. "Kenny knows I prefer sports assignments. Wait 'til I get him about this!" His look warned me not to ask him any more questions.
Kenny appeared before I could have even begun to ask anything, and they seemed in a hurry to go. "Julia will be here shortly. She's a bit hung up on another assignment. She asked me to ask you to wait for her in the library," Kenny told me.
"The library!" Arnie seemed surprised to know there even was a library here. He regained his usual demeanor enough to want to razz me about being a nerd. "And how did you find the library so soon? Just a natural calling I suppose?" he ribbed with an impish grin.
"You're just jealous because you can't read!" I shot back, reminiscent of past earthly bickerings. We loved to pick at each other's faults, both real and imagined. I knew he could read. And he knew that I knew he could read. It just made for interesting conversation to pretend otherwise. But I didn't feel all too interested in playing the game just then. "See ya later, Dopey!" I said as I turned and headed to the library.
I decided to read something light while I waited for Julia. I had had enough excitement for now. I perused the magazine shelves. 'Heavenly Days' was the title of one. 'Pod Patrol' was another. 'Intermountainal News Weekly' was the thickest. I didn't pick one of these up, for fear they would present even more questions to be answered rather than answer any of the ones I already had.
I thought about asking the librarian for the light reading section, but I couldn't imagine that her idea of light reading would be anywhere close to my idea of light reading. I wandered over to the sections that contained the happiest looking souls. They may be reading the books of humor. That would definitely be preferable to any more information overload.
I guessed correctly, and picked out a book titled, 'The World's 500 Most Told Jokes' and settled in a nice comfy chair to start reading.
The book was divided into different joke type categories. I didn't feel like reading 'Puns for the Punny'. How corny could you get! 'Short Snickers' was a possibility. ‘I may like some of those.’ 'Long and Winding' sounded like too much work. The 'Off the Cuff' ones could be okay, but the 'Off Color' ones didn't seem right to read in heaven. ‘I wonder how that chapter didn't get censored by the church ladies.’
A twinge of paranoia caused me to look up. The librarian was staring at me over her bifocals. ‘Did you hear what I just thought?’ I thought with a devilish grin. She clenched her jaw, which only encouraged me. ‘Should I ask you for the racier section, or find it myself?’ She looked away quickly and pretended she didn't hear that one.
I tried to read the rest of the table of contents, but the librarian’s easy razzability was just too tempting to resist. I got up and boinged to the library door. I did a couple of twirls, too, then checked the expression on the librarian's face. She was doing her best to ignore me, but I could see some gray poofs fly from her ears. I couldn't stop myself from an audible chuckle, wondering what awful words she had just thought to have caused such a dark gray color.
I hovered at the doorway for a few minutes. I began to worry a bit about what was taking Julia so long. I wondered if she slept while I did, and got stuck in a terrible dream. Maybe she was in a nightmare, and needed to be rescued! I started down the hallway to the Dream Dome, but changed my mind when I realized she knew so much more than I did, and if SHE were in trouble, I'd probably make things worse even if I did know how to find her.
It was most frustrating to be in the dark about so much. I wanted to know all about everything, NOW! ‘This is heaven, for C---- sake. Why can't we all just magically have our brains filled with everything we need to know?’ I ignored the brown ear puff and the fact that just moments ago I was complaining about information overload.
I paced the hallway for a while. I decided to see if I could go through the wall back into the library like I can go through the walls in my dreams. I flattened into a pancake when I floated too confidently into the wall. I rebounded and reshaped. At least it didn't hurt.
I went back into the library via the door. I ended up in the self-help section. The first book I pulled out was titled 'Part II: Learning to Fade Out'. I looked over the cover, noticing a prominent warning; 'CAUTION: DO NOT TRY THIS ALONE UNTIL YOU THOROUGHLY READ AND UNDERSTAND 'Part I: HOW TO FADE BACK IN'. I put it back on the shelf.
The book about the nuts and bolts on how to read minds was too thick. The page I flipped it open to reminded me of a physics textbook. I quickly put that one back, too. 'How to Choose a Dream Career' looked interesting, and not too thick. I took it to my seat.
Chapter One was about finding your strengths. It started with one of those G-- forsaken multiple-choice tests. I rose out of my chair to return it to its shelf faster than it took the puff to leave my ear.
I returned to the hallway to pace. I thought about looking for Karl, or Gail, even, but she was more likely to give me more to worry about, so I thought hard about Karl, hoping he would appear.
It took a bit, but he finally did fade in. He looked tired. "What's going on?" I asked, now really worried.
"We are all working extra loads. We don’t want to depend on having back-ups from earth." He sighed. Seems like the thing to do here; sigh a lot. "Julia is trying very hard to convince Emma to let go of her earthly strings, but it's a tough sell. Her family is draining her, and the pain is severe. I can't understand what's holding her back." Now even Karl was giving me too much information at once.
"Whoa, slow down, buddy. What's this about over working? What back-ups?" Now MY eyebrows were raised so high they'd have been at my hairline, if I had hair.
Karl noticed my look, and chuckled. "You're comical when you're worried." He was stalling. "First you chew us out for holding out on you, now you say we're telling too much too fast. Make up your mind, Ian, old buddy, old pal." He sighed. Again. "Okay, I'll fill in the gaps. Julia’s pulling double duty watching after you AND being Emma's guardian angel. You do remember Emma, don’t you, Ian?" he asked.
"Of course I do! She was forever coming to be sure Arnie and I had enough to eat, as if we couldn't look after ourselves. She drove us crazy!" I thought she was a busybody, but Arnie said she never seemed to want to gossip, so she couldn't have been just being nosy.
Karl paused, seemingly weighing what to say next. He sighed. "Ian, I know you aren't as heartless as that makes you sound... Emma was severely burned trying to save you from that fire."
My heart stopped. Or it would have if it were still beating. "What?!!" I couldn't believe my ears. I poked in them to be sure there weren't any lingering puffs. "What did you just say?"
"Emma was on her way to bring you a meal when your gas-filled kitchen exploded. Instead of running for help, she ran into the house and tried to pull you out." He stopped there, watching me closely as I processed this loaded information.
"So where is she now?" I asked, finally.
"In intensive care, in a burn center. The doctors don't expect her to make it. They're amazed she’s still alive. Julia has been trying to get her to come to us, but Emma won't let go. She feels too needed on earth. If you ask me, I think that family of hers drained the life’s blood out of her. They don't care about her as much as they care about what she does for them. Julia sees it differently. She thinks they really do love her for who she is. But the result is the same to me. They’re sapping her strength. If she doesn't come soon, there will be too little left for even the fuzz to restore her." Once he got started, he didn't stop. "That woman is an angel on earth. If she only knew how much more she could do if she were here instead…. She'd deAge in days, if not hours. She'd be such an asset here in heaven. If she knew how many more people she could help if she were here, she'd come in a heartbeat."
While he was rambling on about how good Emma was, I was trying to deal with the guilt I felt at being the cause of her pain and what sounds like imminent death. ‘Why did she try to save ME, for C---- sake? The puff from my ear was blue. I was just an old coot. I was going to die soon, anyway. And my family didn't care, so why should she?’
"Karl," I suddenly remembered sensing one person with tears as my angel of deliverance brought me here. "Was she the one I saw crying when I died?" My heart was truly aching at the thought.
"Yes." Karl looked at me knowingly. It was all I could do to not cry myself.
"Could I see her?" I wasn't sure I really wanted to. I felt bad enough just imagining what she was going through.
"When she agrees to come with Julia, I'll see if we can be at the mountain top to greet her, to welcome her here. Let me go check on how Julia's doing at the moment. I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere." And he faded out.
My back slid down the wall I had been standing in front of, and I ended up sitting on the floor with my knees at my chin. I was in a state of shock. I buried my head in my arms. I cried like a baby. In public.
20
My defenses started to kick in after a few minutes. ‘I didn't ask her to come to my house. I didn't need her to try to save me. I'm not completely to blame. She was stupid enough to go into a burning house for C----- sake.’ I noticed the color of my puff was navy blue. I sighed. ‘Yeah, I guess that was kinda mean. But true.’
I was still sitting there against the wall, sullen, when Karl returned. "No luck yet. Julia is trying to round up some of her family's guardians to try to get her family to tell her that it's okay for her to leave them. I don't think that's possible, but she said she had to try."
Another pang of guilt hit at the thought of her family. "I don't want to know what they are saying about me, do I?" I knew the answer. The men in her family were a lot like me, and I know how I'd feel.
"No, you don't," Karl agreed. He didn’t offer any more information, so I guessed the worst was true. ‘They'd be very disappointed to find out I'm not in hell.’
Panic hit next. "Karl, what if they die soon, and come here!!! They'd kill me! Well, maybe not kill me, but they would do their best to make my life, er.. existence, miserable." The panic lasted only a few seconds. The guilt took over as I thought, ‘well, I deserve it.’
"Not really, Ian. You don’t deserve any blame. It WAS her choice to try to rescue you. That thought you had about her being silly enough to try to rescue you was correct, but not the emotion behind it. The feeling behind a thought or deed makes a huge difference." He said this matter-of-factly.
‘How did he know what I thought when he wasn't even here? He didn't show up until a few minutes after I produced the dark blue puff.’
"I was here. You just didn't see me," he explained.I was too drained to get even a little peeved at the thought that he was spying on me. ‘I'll never get used to this transparency,’ I thought bitterly.
"You aren't the only one to be bothered by it. It definitely does take some getting used to. But it is for the best in the long run. You'll see." This time he had a more sympathetic tone.
"So, how many eons is 'the long run'? Thousands of years?" I didn't think I'd make it a few more hours, let alone days and years.
He thought a while before he answered. A rather long while. I began to get irritated. "Isn't it rude having a long conversation with yourself when company is present?" I asked, my voice dripping with disdain.
"Yes, I guess it is. I want to be sure, or at least as sure as I can be, that what I want to tell you will help, rather than hurt, your progress here. I have to weigh the possibility of the various choices you are likely to make as to how you use the additional information."
"What a lame excuse! What kind of 'choices' could I make by you answering a simple question!" It was a statement not a question.
"You could go off the deep end, and turn into tar. You could turn your frustration inward, and get depressed. You could…."
"Okay, okay!! I get it already!! I promise to take it on the chin. I promise I'll behave," I interrupted him. But my tone was anything but cooperative. He apparently decided not to tell me what he had been mulling over as he changed the subject.
"Let's go down to the river and see what they've been able to set up for Emma's eventual arrival." He put his hand on my shoulder, and we faded out of the hallway and faded in at the river.
In front of us was a campsite with a horse trailer. There was a canopy opened over a fancy camping kitchen. The front of the trailer looked as big as a mobile home. Karl motioned for me to follow him into it.
It was done up like a Recreational Vehicle. A high end one at that. It had a microwave, a full bath, a TV, all the comforts of home.
"I thought we didn't need to eat here," I pointed out. "No, we don't. But Emma loved to cook, and camping was her favorite get-away. She didn't get to go often, and her trailer was a done-up stock trailer. Hardly comfortable. We want to give her what she deserves, even though she most likely won't accept it. But we’re still working on getting her what we KNOW she'll accept. Come with me." He left the trailer and floated towards an opening in the woods.
A large pasture with luscious green grass filled the entire clearing. A small barn in one corner was large enough for at least four horses. It also had a tack room with an area to wash the horses off. I knew Emma loved horses. "Are you going to be able to bring some horses here for her, like the ones I saw when I first arrived?" I asked.
"Not horses. Just one. She was particularly attached to one she considered almost human. We sent some horseloving souls to the prey animal mountain to see if she'll agree to come here, to stay at least for a while." He was ready to pop with anticipation. "I can't wait to see the look on her face!"
He’d never looked so happy. I felt a bit put-off. ‘He wasn't even present for my death, and no one seemed to have anything prepared for me.’
"Now, now, Ian. We had all your buddies here waiting for you, didn't we?" His grin was a bit paternalistic.
I couldn't disagree. "But you weren't all this excited then." I felt a twang of jealousy. I should have felt less bad about causing Emma's death seeing all this excited preparation. But I didn't. ‘She doesn't want to come. Julia isn’t able to convince her to let go. And I can't imagine Emma being happy to be here, even with her favorite horse here to greet her. Surely the souls here should know that, too.’
"You're right again, Ian. She will not adjust easily. She’ll have as much, if not more, trouble with transparency than you have. We all will have to do the best we can to ease her into it gradually." His mood changed with this topic. "This has got to be a major group effort."
The jealousy hit again, harder this time. ‘They didn't seem to be worried about ME. They just dove right in and helped themselves to my innermost thoughts! And LAUGHED about it!! Repeatedly!!’ Dark green smoke began to escape from my ears and nose even though I had not thought a curse word.
Karl looked disappointed. "Just as I thought," he said, and took my arm.
When we faded back in, we were in the bubble room. "NO!!!" I hollered. "I am NOT going into that bubble!! I'd rather turn into tar like Johnny did, and get sucked up into the fuzz!"
Karl just stood there for a few minutes. It gave me time to calm down. ‘I didn't want to do either, actually. I have to control myself better than this. D---, that telltale smoke!’ It was hard to see the gray puff among all the smoke that was already coming out of me. I sighed. It seemed to help. Less smoke was coming out of my nose, anyway. I sighed again. The smoke stopped coming out of my ears, too.
I looked at Karl. He looked at me. I heard ‘ yep, this was what I was afraid his choice would be.’ I gave him a sheepish grin.
"Let me know when you’re ready to go back into public," he said calmly.After I gathered myself together, we faded to the keyboard room. He stood at my shoulder while I studied the keyboard. "Which one is the best one for me to practice temper control?" I asked.
"Well, find the one that’s currently causing you to lose your temper. Here's a tornado for 'impatience', and here's a 'question mark' for stupidity. But here is the one that’s likely to cause you the most trouble now." He pointed to a key that was a pukey green. "For 'jealousy'. Touch it."
What could it hurt. I touched it lightly. I felt a twinge of self-pity. I pushed on it. I could feel myself warming up, almost like what Irene had described as a hot flash. I let go. I felt the heat leave. ‘Wow.’ I pressed the key again, before I took time to figure out how to keep the heat wave from filling me. It overtook me much faster the second time. I let go of the key and put my hand on the arm of the chair.
"So, how do you plan to stop it the next time you touch the key?" Karl asked, very teacher-like.
"I'm not going to touch it again," I answered, very school boy like. Teachers used to tell me, in not very nice ways sometimes, how exasperatingly stubborn I was, especially in English class.
Karl didn't respond like my teachers had, though. "Fine,” he said calmly. “That's your choice," and he faded away.
I sat there with my mouth hanging open in disbelief. That's not how the discussion was supposed to go! He was supposed to say, 'yes you will' and I would say 'no I won't' and a really fun little interaction would ensue. ‘Gee. Now I guess I'll have to figure it out myself, or run the risk of turning to tar, or having to spend time in the bubble.’
I looked at the green key. ‘Humm, I wonder if I imagine myself on my hammock in the back yard...’ I pushed the key with less force than before. The heat came on more slowly. I managed to conjure up the feeling of relaxing in the hammock. The warmth stopped at my elbow. ‘I did it!’ I thought triumphantly, and the warmth disappeared altogether. I let go of the key. I pushed the key harder the next time. The heat was almost to my shoulder before I could slow it down, and it reached all the way to my chest before I could stop it. I let go.
I don't know how long I practiced, but I eventually was able to push the key and not feel any warmth at all. I wondered if I wore it out rather than learned how to control it.
"You've learned to control it." Karl was back.
My first reaction was annoyance at the thought of him spying on me again, but I conjured up my hammock feeling, and headed my anger off before it could cause me to blurt out a smart comment.
"Very good, Ian. You may be ready to come and welcome Emma." He didn't sound very convinced, however. "What do YOU think?"
"I don't know. If I can't handle it, could you fade me out before I do something embarrassing?" ‘I had no idea what I was going to do with my guilt feelings. I hadn't even thought of dealing with THEM.’ I looked over the keyboard.
"You don't have time to practice anymore. She's coming right now. Do you want to come?"
‘He didn't say whether or not he would fade me out if I needed help.’
"I could, but by then others may have already seen your reaction, too."
I sighed. "Let's go, then." I sounded more brave than I felt.
"Okay, let's go." Karl took my arm, and we arrived at the top of the mountain instantly.
We were just in time. Emma and Julia came slowly out of the top of the mountain. Emma was sobbing uncontrollably. She was wrapped in bandages, almost from head to toe. She had no hair; at least none that came out from under the bandages. I couldn't see her eyes. Actually, there were no tears, either. I could tell that she was sobbing by her body's movements.
"Her eyes were destr