King Kinda Jolly Is Sad
While all this was happening in the King's kitchen, Kinda Jolly sat cheerfully on his throne, talking to his pretty little Queen.
"Rosa, my dear," smiled Kinda, tugging at his silver whiskers, "guess what we're going to have for dinner."
Rosa Merry, who was sewing a button on the King's suspenders, paused with her needle in the air.
"What does it begin with?" asked Rosa curiously. The Queen simply doted on a riddle.
"With a G," answered Kinda Jolly, leaning down to pat Trippsy, his pet foot stool. Trippsy is the only live footstool, I think, I have ever heard of. He followed Kinda wherever he went, which was fortunate, for the King's legs were so short that no matter how low the chair or bench, his feet never touched the floor. In some ways Trippsy was a more useful pet than a dog. He never chased cats, nor got into fights, nor barked, except a few shins, so that Kinda Jolly was awfully fond of him.
"Is it a goat?" giggled Rosa Merry, biting off her thread.
"Goat!" sputtered Kinda Jolly. "I should say not! Trippsy, old boy, she says we're going to have goat for dinner." Trippsy, who had been to market with the King—Kinda being one of those dear old fashioned fellows who do their own marketing—waved his tassel faintly to show that he appreciated the joke, while General Whiffenpuff, the King's body guard, and Hah Hoh, the Town Laugher burst into loud roars of merriment.
"Guess again," invited Kinda Jolly, putting his finger tips together, and beaming on his pretty wife.
"Grapes, glue, gum drops?" ventured the Queen, puckering up her forehead. "Gravy, ginger, griddle cakes. I know, it's griddle cakes!"
"Grapes and glue and griddle cakes
Will give us frightful stomach aches!
Ginger, grapes and glue and gravy
Oh, some kind doctor come and save ye!"
That was the best that Hah Hoh could think of, but they all laughed so loud that seven little button boys stuck their heads in the window to see what all the fun was about.
"Well, do you give it up?" asked Kinda, after Rosa had made seven more merry guesses.
"Yes," said the Queen, shaking her head till the curls flew out in every direction. "What is it?"
"A goose!" puffed Kinda Jolly, settling back comfortably on his throne. "The finest, fattest goose you ever saw in your life. Cost me a thousand gold buttons," he finished, smacking his lips and winking at General Whiffenpuff. The General, who was fonder of eating than of anything else, began to pat his stomach absently and Trippsy, though far too well stuffed to require food, gave a skip of satisfaction that nearly upset the King.
"Roast goose and apple sauce," mused Kinda, regaining his balance. "Yum-yum, Whiffen, old rascal, just step out to the pantry, and see how the dinner's progressing. It's high time our goose was cooked, and I for one am hungry as a hippogriff." They were still laughing at Hah Hoh's jokes, when Whiffenpuff returned, but one look at the General sobered them at once.
"Guess what we're going to have for dinner?" panted Whiffenpuff, very red in the face from his hurry.
"What?" asked Rosa in surprise.
"Nuthin'," gulped the General dolefully. "The dinner's not going, it's GONE! Our goose is hooked, tooked, crooked," finished Whiffenpuff, forgetting his grammar entirely. (Of course, we have known this all along, but it was a great shock to the King.)
"Gone!" gasped Kinda Jolly. "But where is Mombi?"
"Gone too!"
"To where?"
Whiffenpuff shook his head glumly and immediately Rosa Merry, Kinda Jolly and all the rest rushed into the kitchen to see for themselves how gone everything was. Naturally enough they found neither Mombi nor Pajuka and, on the whole, this was most fortunate, for otherwise they might have eaten the Prime Minister of Oz and swallowed with him the whole of this story.
"Our dinner began with a G and now its gone! Gone begins with a G. Our dinner is gone with a G! Shall I laugh?" asked Hah Hoh, beginning to tickle himself in the ribs.
"I should say not. Why, this is no laughing matter. No cook! No goose! No dinner! Oh! I'm so disappointed I could cry!" choked Kinda Jolly, puffing out his cheeks.
"Don't do that! Don't do that!" begged Rosa Merry, and tumbling off her high stool she sent a page flying for the Town Crier. I never told you there was one, but Kimbaloo has a Town Crier as well as a Town Laugher, for no one in that merry Kingdom ever thinks of shedding tears.
So before one could wink the Town Crier came running in with a page, and when Whiffenpuff told him about the lost dinner, the lost goose and the lost cook, he simply burst into tears.
"How long shall I cry?" he sobbed, looking around his handkerchief at Kinda Jolly.
"Seven minutes for the goose and th-three for Mombi," sniffed the King, biting his lip to keep from crying himself. So the Town Crier jerked out another hanky, and while all the rest stood around and looked solemn and Kinda held his watch, he wept eye after eye full of tears.
"Do you feel better?" asked Rosa Merry presently, patting Kinda's plump hand.
"A little, a little," acknowledged the King, "but do you s'pose Mombi's gone for good?"
"Well, I trust so," sniffed the Town Laugher, shrugging his shoulders, "but I'm afraid she has gone for bad, your Majesty. A more evil appearing old wretch I've never seen in Oz, and perhaps we are well rid of her. Only a week ago I had a letter from a sixteenth cousin of mine in the Emerald City telling of a famous invisible cook who lived near her. Why not send for this invisible cook, your Highness?"
"That's what we've got now, isn't it?" put in General Whiffenpuff, gloomily, but Kinda's eyes began to snap at the Town Laugher's suggestion.
"Why an invisible cook would be simply out of sight!" cried the King, motioning for the Town Crier to cease his lamentations. "Let us send for her at once!"
"And meanwhile I'll be cook," smiled Rosa Merry, happy that everything was turning out so well. "Guess what we're going to have for dinner?"
"Omelet!" gulped the Town Crier, wringing out his handkerchiefs in a business-like fashion and immediately the rest began to guess this and then that till they were all as jolly as possible. But right in the midst of the merriment, in came ten little button boys to report the disappearance of Snip.
"Snip gone," groaned Kinda Jolly, clapping his hand to his head and falling back against the flour barrel. "Oh! This is the worst of all. Why he's the brightest boy in Kimbaloo and the best button picker I've got. Cry! Cry some more, cry a lot!" wailed the poor King, shaking the Town Crier by the arm. So he did, and the Town Laugher had to blow his nose hard, to keep from crying himself, for Snip was a great favorite in the palace.
As soon as the news got about, all the rest of the Kimbles came tumbling into the kitchen, and the two hundred and forty-nine little button boys began to hug Kinda Jolly, and the two hundred and fifty little flower girls began to hug Rosa Merry. Trippsy, the pet foot stool, who loved Snip almost as much as Kinda Jolly, was so upset he dashed here and there till everyone else was that way, too, especially General Whiffenpuff. Altogether the confusion was terrific.
"Wait!" grunted the General, picking himself up for the fifth time. "Wait! I will find them all!" Seizing his gun, and with never a thought of dinner, he plunged boldly out into the night to find Mombi, the goose, Snip and an invisible cook. After that things grew calmer, for the King had great confidence in Whiffenpuff. The boys and girls trooped back to their cottages and the rest sat down to a picnic supper out of the ice box.
"Whiffenpuff will find 'em, no fear," whispered Hah Hoh, squeezing Kinda Jolly's hand comfortingly, "and if he doesn't just remember that I also have something up my sleeve!"
"What is it?" asked the King mournfully, and as clearly as he could, for he had half a chicken sandwich in the other cheek.
"A funny bone," confided the Town Laugher, with so comical and important an expression that Kinda had to be thumped on the back to keep from choking.
"A funny bone!" gasped the King, as he recovered his breath. "Let me see it, you rascal."
So the Town Laugher showed Kinda Jolly his left elbow and they both roared at the joke.
